Chapter Text
Valkyrie Visionaries✨
Oshi-san: Kagehira. Emergency.
Kagehira: uh oh
Oshi-san: The mannequin I painstakingly ordered from France has been delayed. Apparently, customs have no understanding of artistry.
Oshi-san: I refuse to let the fabric sit another moment untouched by inspiration.
Kagehira: so...what does that mean fer me...
Oshi-san: You will become the mannequin.
Oshi-san: Stand. Pose. Transform.
Kagehira: i’m gonna cramp up again ain’t i
Oshi-san: Let the pain inform the piece. True art is not created without a touch of pain and suffering.
Kagehira: 😭
Oshi-san: No crying, Kagehira. We have work to do.
Kagehira: strike me down
(after some time)
Attachment: 6 blurry photos of Mika standing like a mannequin, arms stiff, expression blank, wearing half a Valkyrie costume with 3 pins sticking out of it.
Kagehira: i sneezed on take 4 im sorry
Kagehira: also my right foot is numb and i think my sock’s on backwards
Oshi-san: Art demands sacrifice.
Oshi-san: Also, I forgot the crimson thread.
Oshi-san: Go buy some. The specialty store down the hill.
Kagehira:…
Kagehira: in this outfit???
Oshi-san: Of course. Let the world witness the process of true art in the making.
WE’RE IDOLS YAHOO (all units)
Girlboss💅: not to be dramatic but i just saw mika standing absolutely motionless in front of the flower shop and i thought he was a new store prop 😭
RYUSEI RED💥: I passed him 10 minutes ago and said “You okay?”
RYUSEI RED💥: He just blinked once and whispered “does this work for the aesthetic”???
mr.sleepy 💤: tfw ur too tired to move but it becomes Art™
miracle magicAL: i saW a kid try to take a pic with hiM
miracle magicAL: mika’s going vIRaL
Attachment: screenshot of a tweet saying "Spotted in town: Is this mannequin ALIVE??#LivingArt #PerformanceLegend" with 2k likes
Mikachin: i can explain
Mikachin: oshi-san sent me on a quest
Mikachin: i’m scared to sneeze in this thing it might break
Mikachin: also a bird landed on my shoulder earlier
pukapuka: how “mystical”! are you doing a “ritual”?
Adonis: Do you require rescue.
Mister Perfection: Everyone, calm yourselves. This is not confusion. It is expression. Kagehira is embodying my new stage concept: "Mannequin: A Tragedy in Stillness."
Mikachin: oshi-san i stepped in gum by accident
Mister Perfection: NON
Mister Perfection: KAGEHIRA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
Mister Perfection: Actually…
Mister Perfection: On second thought, let the texture tell if your anguish. Convey your feelings into that wad of gum, Kagehira.
(one hour later)
Hokke: Kagehira is standing in the crosswalk now. Traffic is going around him. What is happening.
Subaru🌟: I threw a frisbee and it bounced off him. He didn’t flinch.
Subaru🌟: MVP.
Girlboss💅: update: two tourists are trying to buy him
Mikachin: they offered 5000 yen
Mikachin: oshi-san do i take it or
Mister Perfection: NON.
Mister Perfection: Unless they’re offering euros.
Valkyrie Visionaries✨
Oshi-san: Kagehira.
Oshi-san: You forgot the thread, didn’t you.
Kagehira: uh
Kagehira: i panicked and ran when the store alarm beeped
Kagehira: it was the security tag on my shoe 😭
Kagehira: also i may or may not be banned from the craft section now
Oshi-san: …
Kagehira: ngahh! please don’t be mad…
Kagehira: im sorry oshi-sa-
Oshi-san: This entire incident… is genius.
Oshi-san: We shall reframe it.
Oshi-san: Title: "Buy Me, I'm Beautiful: A Commentary on the Commodification of Art."
Kagehira: .
Kagehira: so... do i go home now or am i still art
Oshi-san: ...One more hour.
Oshi-san: I’m coming your way right now. Hold this scarf for dramatic effect.
Attachment: image of an extremely long red scarf draped over Shu’s head like a veil.
WE’RE IDOLS YAHOO
Girlboss💅: it’s raining but he’s STILL OUT THERE
Girlboss💅: he’s soaked but hasn’t moved an inch
Girlboss💅: why is this... kind of iconic
mr.sleepy💤: he’s gonna catch a cold
mr.sleepy💤: but like fashionably
Mikachin: someone just left me a cappuccino and called me “the soul of the city”
Mikachin: i’m goin’ home
Mister Perfection: Wait! That’s perfect. We'll call it “Espresso of the Soul.”
Mister Perfection: Encore performance tomorrow. Same spot.
Mikachin: im blockin this chat goodbye
—————————
Ring…ring…ring…
Click!
“Oshi-san?”
“Kagehira, are you still out in the rain? Even though you told me you were going home?”
“Yeah, I…kinda got locked outside. Forgot my keys.”
“Argh! You imbecile. Wait there, I’m coming over. I still have that spare key you gave me when we started dating.”
“You still have that?! It’s been a whole year, Oshi-san!”
“I keep everything I receive from you, Kagehira. You should know by now that I’m a hopeless romantic.”
Mika could already feel the blush spreading across his cheeks.
“Anyways, I’m soaked as well, so I’m staying over at your home tonight. We can just share your bed. I’m almost there, so I’m going to hang up, okay?”
“…’kay. Bye. Love ya, Oshi-san.”
“…love you too, Kagehira.”