Chapter Text
Near's eyelids rested heavily on his eyes. For a moment he thought he might be feverish. The fatigue he felt compared.
"Morning." Mello greeted him. Oh, so he was still asleep. Or hallucinating. He ought to call his doctor. Perhaps, right this morning. Near slowly stretched to make his way to the bathroom while his hallucination of Mello prepared breakfast. Even the breakfast had a strong smell. Too strong of a smell. Near hurried to the bathroom and threw up yet again. It wasn't a fun feeling, but maybe he could use it as an excuse to try out different supplement brands. He'd think about it.
"Did you just throw up again?" Mello hallucination asked him. He didn't feel like answering until finishing his morning routine, so he waited. After all that he reached for his phone and called his doctor.
Mello, in the mean time, cleaned all the kitchen surfaces. "I haven't been feeling very well these past few weeks." He overheard Near talking, which was difficult not to do as he was sitting right at the kitchen table close to the sink where Mello washed his hands for the last time before sitting down to try his own breakfast.
"Also, I seem to be hallucinating. My... friend who's supposed to be dead-" "I'm not dead! We've been over this." "He claims he's not dead, but I think we should make sure." "Good God!"
He couldn't believe Near. He told him what happened just yesterday. As if his own appearance wasn't enough. Near of all people should be familiar with it. That drunken night between them... the way that Near himself prepared the bedroom, the drinks, the atmosphere. He welcomed him like Croats welcomed their rich diaspora relatives. He felt like someone important for maybe even the first time in his life. After that, he felt horny and important! Damn Near! It was so like him to forget and erase all his achievements. Take all the credit. Just like he did with the Kira investigation, no doubt! Light Yagami surely didn't even know he was involved in his defeat.
Near covered his mouth suddenly, but then relaxed. Mello rolled his eyes. Stupid Near. Couldn't even compliment his breakfast. Instead he was just there making faces. "Not good enough for you, huh, first place?" Near continued to struggle at the table and it made Mello feel bad. He knew something was wrong with Near ever since, well, yesterday. He should accompany him to his doctor's appointment. He looked like he might pass out on the way.
"When's the appointment?" "2:30 PM." "I know it's PM." Did he now think of him as stupid too? He made his way to the living room and switched on the TV to kill some time until the appointment.
Before reaching the doctor's office, Mello turned to Near. "If this thing is contagious, you'll pay me!" Which Near disregarded as usual.
"I figured I should bring my friend here as well, so you could tell me if I'm really hallucinating or not." "No, he's very much here." Said the doctor. "Can you prove it?" Mello couldn't believe this idiot. "It's not my specialty and I'm not sure how convincing it would be if I asked my coworkers if they can see him..." That seemed to ease Near's mind if only a bit.
"What about your other symptom's? What's been happening?" Near started describing all the nausea, fatigue, constipation? Mello at some point felt like he was invading Near's privacy by not leaving. He could've done that the moment he was cleared as Not a hallucination, but nobody said anything on his presence so far so he sat his curious ass still.
To Mello it sounded like a case of stomach flu. It had to be something among those lines. Hopefully nothing serious, "How long have you had these symptoms?", but the way the doctor kept asking the questions left him uneasy. "About... three weeks... and a couple of days. I don't know I can't remember exactly. They weren't all as bad as they are now."
No one was talking for a moment and to Mello the atmosphere was so tense. He couldn't quite make out why. "Before prescribing anything I would like you to take a pregnancy test." What!? Mello stared at Near, expectantly, but he just blinked. "Sure." Now, definitely, this was just some kind of a joke between them. It had to be. Near couldn't- Mello was certain he would've noticed if Near had the parts for it... if he wasn't so drunk at the time! No way he had been hitting the wrong ho- But, wait, Near had a penis he was sure of that. Also, he seemed to be pretty content the days after their little house party. If men peed on a pregnancy stick and it turned out positive, would that mean? Does Near have? Some kind of tumor!?
Mello brushed his bangs out of his face, only to notice his sweat on his hands. He didn't notice Near returning (or leaving for that matter). "Something wrong, Mello?" "Hehe, nothing... So, uhh... a pregnancy test?"
"Yeah, I thought you noticed it... that night. It was supposed to be a surprise of sorts." "What?" "Well, I suppose it was dark and we both we're..." "You could get pregnant and you didn't bother to mention it beforehand?" "No, I just have the parts for it, but they're not suited for a pregnancy. I never even bled. Have been infertile since I know for myself." "Then what's with the test?" It might be a tumor, after all. "Oh, it's just a standard procedure. They make virgins take ones as well." Not good.
"Near?" "Yes?" "Could you come here for a second? We might need to do more testing." That. Was definitely not a good sign, Mello thought. He was left alone in the office while Near had some blood work done or something. After it was all over, Mello didn't even recall the events, they took an uber back to Near's. Which was awfully close to the SPK headquarters. Oh, well...
Appearantly, Near was to receive an email of his results in an hour or few. To Mello it felt like an eternity. A jumbled, incoherent, dissociative eternity. Then a notification sound popped up... false alarm. Then another one, nothing. Was- was Near really about to die? Mello almost teared up. After everything they went through and after they finally put their differences aside, Near was about to die? Oh, Lord...
Near turned to look at him from his sitting spot next to a card tower. His eyes pierced Mello's soul. What were the news? "So, you know how I told you that I couldn't get pregnant." So it meant that the pregnancy test really was to detect tumors!? "Turns out. I was wrong." Wait, what!? "Congratulations." What. The. Hell!? Near got up from his sitting spot and moved towards his bed. Soon, he covered himself in his sleeping essentials and said: "Roger's not going to believe this." What? Who? Roger!? Oh, yes, Near, Roger's the one who's not gonna believe this! What about him!? Mello took the closest pillow he had on hand and screamed into it. "Near!!!"