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What Your Heart Longs For

Chapter 3: Never Again

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Shinsou 

 

 

 

Shinsou had successfully avoided Monoma for two days. 

 

How? 

 

Hiding in his dorm room like a coward, that’s how. 

 

He felt guilty for running out on Monoma after confessing something as serious as being in love. He felt guilty for ignoring any attempt Monoma made at contacting him. And worst of all, Shinsou felt guilty for being such a shitty friend. This was the longest he and Monoma had gone without talking ever since they became close two years ago. 

 

Staying locked away in his room like a distressed Disney princess wasn’t going to solve anything. Shinsou considered himself lucky for evading Monoma for so long, but that luck ran out the moment he walked into USJ to see class B would be joining them for today’s training. 

 

Shit. 

 

Things couldn’t get worse. No way. Shinsou could feel Monoma’s burning stare at the back of his head. He wanted to die. Monoma would probably be the one to kill him, too. 

 

“Alright, we’re pairing you in twos. One from my class, and one from Kan’s. You’re going to jog a few laps to get warmed up. No complaining or else I’ll make things much more difficult for you and your partner.” Aizawa’s monotone voice floated through the air, and Shinsou quickly realized that yes, things could get worse. 

 

Because who was he paired with? Monoma, of all people. 

 

The universe was truly punishing Shinsou today. He supposed he deserved it. That didn’t make swallowing this bitter pill any easier. 

 

Someone stepped beside him as everyone prepared for a warm up jog around the building. Well, not someone. Shinsou knew it was Monoma without having to look. The scent of his jasmine shampoo was enough to give him away. 

 

There was only one thing Shinsou could do: 

 

Run. 

 

Shinsou ran faster than he had in his entire life. He didn’t want Monoma keeping up with him, afraid he might say something. Who cares if they were supposed to be partnered up for today’s training—Shinsou was a master of avoidance, and would find a way. 

 

Never did he think he’d wish a run wouldn’t come to an end. Shinsou would rather sweat for hours and jog until his feet bled. Maybe he’d be able to pass out from exhaustion. But no. All things must come to an end, and Shinsou wasn’t surprised to find out that his luck was really wearing thin. 

 

“Find your partner and do 100 sit-ups each!” Kan yelled, cutting through the chatter as all the students took a second to catch their breath and complain with their friends. 

 

No out running Monoma now. 

 

Shinsou swallowed and slowly turned. They locked eyes from across the USJ, and Monoma began to make his way over, looking as casual as ever. 

 

And for some reason, that was more unsettling than if he was acting similar to Shinsou. 

 

“You or me first?” Monoma asked once he was within earshot. 

 

Shinsou was too pathetic for words. He pointed at Monoma, his non-verbal response. He was given a nod in return, and they both got onto the floor to start the exercise. 

 

Monoma laid out on his back and stared up at Shinsou. “Make sure to hold my feet.” 

 

Right. 

 

Shinsou grabbed Monoma’s ankles, keeping him steady as he began to do his sit-ups. Everyone counted in unison, and Shinsou tried to look anywhere but Monoma. Each time he lifted his upper body, they came face to face. The tips of Shinsou’s ears were red with blush, and he hoped Monoma wouldn’t notice. 

 

“Switch!” Kan shouted loudly. 

 

Shinsou moved quickly, lying flat on his back so he could stare at the dome above. Monoma’s grip on his ankles gave him goosebumps, and for the first time, he was thankful the UA gym-uniform bottoms were pants instead of shorts. 

 

He started doing his sit-ups, and closed his eyes each time he was level with Monoma’s gaze—because Shinsou was too embarrassed of his actions to look his best friend in the face. 

 

Would they still be friends after this? 

 

Shinsou spent so much time avoiding Monoma, he never gave him the chance to say anything after his sudden admittance of love. On the outside, Monoma seemed normal. He was acting casual, like nothing happened. But Shinsou wasn’t stupid. He knew Monoma, and that he was a pro at hiding his emotions. 

 

He probably hated him. Or at least, Shinsou hated himself for being such an idiot.  

 

Anxious thoughts plagued him throughout the entirety of training. He wasn’t able to focus on anything other than avoiding Monoma and his gaze. With no extra brainpower for anything else, the amount of mistakes Shinsou made were much higher than usual. 

 

He tripped. He stumbled. He got smacked in the face. Shinsou embarrassed the living hell out of himself. Monoma knocked him on his ass multiple times during hand-to-hand combat training. Normally Shinsou wasn’t so bad on his feet, but apparently Monoma was pretty good at sweeping him off his.

 

In more ways than one. 

 

When the two classes were dismissed, Shinsou high-tailed it to the locker rooms, planning on showering and getting the hell out of there. By the time people came filing in, he was already under the water, scrubbing his body at lightning speed. Chatter, creaky locker doors, and pattering footsteps replaced the silence that once surrounded him. Shinsou didn’t care, it was better than what was going on inside his head. 

 

Just as he was the first in the showers, Shinsou was the first out. His skin burned from the quick change in temperatures; angry goosebumps took over every inch of his body until he managed to pull on his clean clothes. Flecks of water fell onto Shinsou’s shoulders, his hair still wet. He tossed it back with a few passes of his hand and snuck his way out, thinking he was in the clear. 

 

How foolish. 

 

Shinsou got a few steps out of the locker room before long, thin fingers wrapped around his forearm and yanked him around a corner. His back hit the wall, but not with enough force to knock the air from his lungs. Shinsou opened his eyes to meet Monoma’s, and his face immediately burned red. 

 

“Hitoshi!” Monoma released his wrist to wag a finger at Shinsou. “Stop avoiding me!” 

 

He definitely couldn’t avoid him now. Not when Monoma had him cornered. 

 

“I haven’t been avoiding you,” Shinsou replied. 

 

Monoma let out a laugh. “Liar. Don’t be stupid, you’ve been avoiding me like it’s your job.” 

 

They stared at each other for a moment in silence. Shinsou could feel Monoma’s breath on his face; it was fresh and smelled faintly of mint. He wished he had the courage to close the distance, to kiss him like he’d wanted for all this time. 

 

Good thing Monoma had no problem stepping up to the plate. Before Shinsou had a chance to realize what was happening, their lips were pressed together. His breath was stolen, and oxygen replaced by nothing but Monoma. He didn’t just want him, Shinsou needed him. 

 

His hands found Monoma’s waist, and Monoma wrapped his arms around Shinsou’s neck. He could hear people trickling out from the locker rooms, but he didn’t care. The kiss was deepened while the rest of the world melted around them. Shinsou pulled Monoma closer to his body, his heart racing when he heard a small moan come from Monoma’s throat. 

 

Shinsou broke their kiss, but didn’t put space between them. They lingered in one another’s personal space, and he felt a smile tugging at his lips. 

 

“What?” Monoma asked. 

 

He shook his head. “Nothing—I just can’t believe we finally kissed.” 

 

“Well, we would have kissed way sooner if you didn’t run away right after saying you’re in love with me.” Monoma rolled his eyes. 

 

“So… you love me too.” Shinsou’s smile grew wider, and he placed a kiss to Monoma’s cheek. 

 

“Obviously.” 

 

“Do you forgive me for being an idiot?” Shinsou asked, and Monoma snorted. 

 

“Yes, I’ll forgive you—if you give me another kiss.” He smirked up at him as his fingers found the back of Shinsou’s neck. 

 

“I’ll give you way more than just one,” he smirked and tightened his grip around Monoma’s waist. 

 

“You promise?” Monoma asked. “You won’t run out on me again, will you?” he teased. 

 

Shinsou laughed and nodded. “Never again, Nei. I promise.”  

Notes:

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this short story. I had so much fun creating it with Valeriena <3

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading! You can find me on Bluesky under @ jedikiller or Twitter @ jediikiillerr <3 <3