Chapter Text
After waving off the final person for today, Vania finally felt like she could breath.
"I swear, My workload tripled from what it was last week!" she sighed, slumping in her sit "I'm exhausted..." Vania slithered down her throne until her back lying flat on the ground, not worried for a moment about the delicate white robes she was dirtying.
Hailmar sighed and floated down towards her, offering out a hand that she ignored "being queen is exhausting..." she mumbled.
"Unfortunately, that's just how things are, my queen" Hailmar drew back his hand "I understand you're tired, but could you please get off the floor? Those robes are hard to clean."
As expected, Vania ignored him again, her mind preoccupied on the events that took place the day prior.
With Cinder.
Her face immediately flushed as she remembered the details. She covered her face with her long sleeves and groaned out in pain and frustration.
"My queen, are you alright—"
"Hailmar have you ever made an assumption that may or may ruined your relationship slash friendship with someone you didn't want to be ruined?"
Hailmar stayed quiet for a second "...did you?"
"Yes!" Vania cried out, throwing her hands up in the air "now he probably thinks I'm a total creep and he'll never want to see me again!!" She covered her face again, loud dramatic cries were just barely muffled by her sleeves.
Hailmar sighed "did he tell you that?"
"No..."
"Then how can you be so sure that it's true?"
"I just—! I don't know!!" She stammered "it just feels like the only possible outcome of that horribly awkward interaction..."
Another sigh "do you want him to see you that way?"
"Obviously not!"
"Then tell him"
That made Vania sit up and stare at Hailmar "just tell him..?" She repeated. He couldn't be serious, that's totally insane!!
"Yes, there might not be another time to set the record straight"
Vania tilted her head "what do you mean by that?"
"A scales covered birdie told me that our newest resident is planning on leaving Shintaro soon" he explained
Her eyes widened "you mean, Cinder?"
Hailmar nodded "if I were to guess, he's currently in his room packing what little possessions he had with him"
Vania looked to the ground, studying the marble floor as she proceeded the information. Was Cinder really leaving because of what she did?! "Are you sure?"
"Positive"
Shit.
-=+=-=+=-=+=-
What short lived happiness Cinder thought to himself as he shoved the silk white robe he got into his—definitely falling apart—bag he stole from the city of temples.
He let himself be vulnerable, with a complete stranger no less! He deserved this feeling, he deserved feeling miserable about it. To think he actually saw a future here, somewhere this remote and near impossible to get to... his past couldn't catch up to him here and yet he had to bring it up.
But maybe it's for the best, he saw what happened with Jay and that water ninja in the tournament. He couldn't love anyone, especially with his shattered goodness, let alone believe he can be loved back.
Suddenly, Chompy jumped off the bed and grabbed Cinder's bag in his mouth before he could swing it over his shoulders. The little dragon might've become Cinder's best friend during his last few days here. In a way, he did feel kind of bad leaving him.
"Let it go Chompy" he groaned. He attempted to pull the bag away, but all he did was lift Chompy up with it. He sighed "I really don't have time for this right now" Cinder mumbled in annoyance. The dragon wriggled around in the air, his wings flapping slightly.
After a few seconds, Chompy managed to tear a piece off the bottom of the bag and ran to the other side of the room, hiding in the corner with the dirty fabric in his mouth.
Cinder stared in disbelief at the ripped bag and the clothes he packed that were now scattered on the ground below him.
He threw the bag away in frustration and groaned "COME ON!!! You've gotta be kidding me!!" He yelled, mostly at Chompy, a little at himself.
-=+=-=+=-=+=-
A million different thoughts ran through Vania's mind as she ran through the palace, her heart was racing and her breathing hitched. By the time she finally reached his room she was desperately gasping for air .
Was it really just a few days ago that she burst into his room in the early morning? Was it really just yesterday she fell for him?
Just yesterday she... kissed him?
The tall wooden doors were far more intimating than they were during Cinder's first official day in Shintaro. Is this really the right choice?
Don't be stupid! of course it is!! I can't just let him leave, I need to explain myself and I-
The doors slowly creaked open, behind them stood none other than the very man Vania came to see, Cinder.
"Vania—" He began, his expression shocked yet... strangely happy.
Vania's faced flushed bright red when her eyes met his, she was really doing it. She acted purely on instinct and hopefulness as she shoved Cinder back into the room and closed the door shut behind them.
"Heyyyyyy" was all she managed to let out as she leaned awkwardly against the door.
Cinder stared at her, wide eyes scanning her over, desperately trying to make sense of the situation "Hi..." he hesitated.
"Going somewhere..?" She asked, a desperate smile plastered across her face.
"Why do you ask?"
"No reason..."
And silence. The tension between them was so thick Cinder almost choked on it.
They couldn't even bear to look each other in the eyes.
Vania was the first to break the silence "I... really misread the conversation yesterday huh?"
Cinder scoffed as he crossed his arms "you really did"
She took in a deep breath "yeah... I tend to do that" she replied with a small chuckle "Hailmar told me you're planning on leaving because of all of that" she looked him in the eyes, much to his dismay "I really want you to stay"
He was stunned.
She wanted him to stay? That's certainly not what he was expecting, he was actually expecting the exact opposite.
"Really?" He asked, his voice coated in disbelief, what reason does she have to want him to stay? As far as he was aware he was a liability to her. Something that distracted her from her 'queenly duties' or whatever.
Vania nodded slowly, pink dusted lightly across her cheeks. "I know I totally misread yesterday and definitely made things extremely awkward but—" she rubbed the back of her neck "—I do think you're a great guy. Although... I guess from your reaction this isn't gonna work out, not to mention we just met!" she swallowed. Hard.
Was her mouth always this dry?
"I just! I don't want things to be weird between us... you're one of the only people I've met that treat me like a person and not like a monarch."
When she went to fix her gaze up to Cinder's eyes again she noticed he was standing much closer to her, And before she could process the sudden proximity, his lips locked onto hers in a gentle kiss.
He placed his hands gently upon her cheeks, caressing them lightly as she closed her eyes, melting into the sensation.
The kiss was over much quicker than she wanted it to. She could still feel the warmth of his lips against hers after he pulled away, one of his hands still lingering on her cheek for a few seconds longer.
"I think you're pretty great too" he said, a small, genuine smile on his face. Cinder's expression quickly dropped before he looked away "but... this isn't right"
"What do you mean?"
He looked at her eyes again, his heart was burning. He knew he had to tell her but... maybe he could live in this lie a bit longer, maybe if he lived in it longer enough it'll become reality.
"Vania..." he hesitated, his hands dropping to his sides "I'm a bad person" there it was, blunt and to the point, it was impossible to misread or overthink.
She stayed quiet, the mood was now changing drastically, from happy to something more sad in a matter of seconds.
"I hurt people, a lot of people" he took in a deep breath, his gaze falling to the floor "I stole from people, I almost killed some too and I... I enjoyed it"
His hands clutched into fists "I regret it, sure, but I don't feel anything else. I can't feel anything else."
"But, you said you helped the ninja—"
" I didn't! I actively fought against them, if any of them were to see me, the odds of a fight starting are more than likely. I hurt them and their team, even their dragon for fuck's sake!"
"But... you regret it, right?"
Cinder paused.
He did regret it. He knew he did. He didn't know why, and deep down he wished he didn't. He hated feeling guilty.
"Does it matter?"
"Of course!" Vania exclaimed "bad people don't regret what they've done!!"
Why was she so insistent on proving his innocence?! Why can't she just accept him as a bad person? That's the truth! That's his reality, something he had to live with now. Unable to feel anything but regret.
"It's different for me! You wouldn't understand"
"Then explain it!" She insisted
"I shattered my goodness! Not a shred of good is left in my body. that makes me a bad person!" he shouted "I focused on strength and threw away my humanity"
He could feel his eyes burning. The more he talked the less he believed his own words, if his goodness was truly gone, why did he care so much?
"Can't it be restored?" Vania asked, her voice weak—she clearly wasn't too happy with all the shouting.
Cinder thought for a second "I- I don't know" he admitted.
Vania stepped forward and grabbed Cinder's hands, holding them to her chest. She made sure to catch his eyes and smile towards him before talking, "anything lost can be found, or restored"
She let go of one of his hands and cupped his cheek, brushing over it gently with her thumb "and I'm finding it really hard to believe you're still a bad person"
He sighed, placing his palm atop the one on his cheek "even if that were true, I still was a bad person"
"People change. They make mistakes... and sometimes they own up to them... not always" she looked away, her expression darkened for a second before returning to normal "but you already admitted to regretting what you've done, that's gotta be one step in the right direction" she said, a gentle smile on her face. It was different than the other ones Cinder was used to, it wasn't a bright big smile of pure happiness or excitement, it was a small gentle one, filled with hope and unsaid prayers.
It was comforting.
"Do you really think I can change? for the better?"
Vania's smile widened ever so slightly before she grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him down for another kiss, a quick and gentle peck on his lips. "I believe everyone can change if they want to, for better or for worse."
"What if I change for the worst?"
She looked him in the eyes "you won't, not under my watch" she smiled at him again. How could he not at least try? He'll do anything to keep that smile on her face.
"I think I have an idea on how we can... begin this change"
"Go ahead" he hummed as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Vania quickly did the same around his neck, making sure to hold him close.
"Stop thinking you're a bad person. Thoughts equal reality, if you keep believing you're bad you'll never change"
Cinder chuckled "are you seriously suggesting I just manifest my goodness coming back?"
She let out a small laugh "more or less"
He sighed and kissed her cheek "if you really think it'll work... I'm willing to try, just for you"
Vania laughed as she playfully pushed him away, her cheeks beginning to heat up "Hailmar will kill you if he sees us like this" she joked.
"I think I'll be fine" he said, his voice playful, before he used his elemental power to appear behind Vania, quickly capturing her in a tight hug, and kissing her cheek once more. "I'm good at slipping away"
She squealed at the sudden embrace, a big smile spread across her face.
There it was, that dammed smiles
She managed to escape the hug quickly and look Cinder in his eyes once more. "Since we're already having this chat... I'd like if you could tell me what you did, the things you consider bad"
"Why? Are you gonna justify them?" He joked, Vania didn't find it funny "No! I'm genuinely interested!" She pouted "I just wanna know more about you and your past... especially since you seem to know a lot about mine"
She wasn't wrong, the queen of Shintaro has been quite the popular character in the Ninjago news paper and channel. Especially after the ninja's visit there and especially especially after the whole "crystal king" thing.
"Well... once something ends up on NGTV news it's kinda unavoidable" he joked. God, he seriously needed to stop making jokes when he doesn't wanna talk about something... the fact that he's aware he's doing it probably isn't making it any better.
Vania gently grabbed his hand and guided him towards the bed. She turned around to face him as they both sat down, Chompy quickly made his way between them.
"Tell me everything" she said softly, her hands gently caressing his fingers. Pained and tired eyes met curious ones "anything you feel like sharing that is" she clarified.
Cinder smiled, small and gentle, an expression that felt incredibly foreign on his face. He squeezed her hands and took in a deep breath. "Alright... Where do I start"