Chapter Text
1975 - September 6th, Saturday
Regulus was running his hand along the black leather sofa, bored out of his mind. “Barty, quit shaking the settee you fat shit.” He hissed, leaning over Pandora to get to him.
“Reg! Don’t call him that and don’t lean over me to fight him!” Pandora shoved her hand in his face to push him back.
“Oh, well then give me something to do genius! I can’t sit here for an hour.” Barty was also now leaning over her.
“Run around the fucking common room for all I care just quit it.” Regulus had grabbed her wrist so that he could get in Barty’s face.
“That’s boring you idiot! You know what, let's fight right here right now.” He shot up to his feet making his way over to Regulus.
Pandora stood up and got in between them, rolling her eyes at their childish behaviour. Regulus couldn’t help it. Being around Barty was like being around a 3 year old toddler. “Right, why don’t we walk to him instead. I can’t be here another second with you two bickering.” She squinted her eyes at them before grabbing their arms and dragging them out.
Barty kept sneaking his middle finger to him, Regulus just punched him in his stomach to which he dramatically threw himself to the floor, rolling around and clutching his belly. This then led to Regulus being told off by Pandora and her coddling Barty.
Pandora put herself in the middle of the pair as they walked to detention. “Barty, how on earth did you manage to get us 10 house points after losing 100 in 3 days?”
“He got us house points? Since when?” Regulus looked at Barty in complete shock, the only time he’s ever got them house points is when he took credit for Evan’s potion after he swapped their cauldrons.
“Since I threw paper at Zabini and then Evan started throwing some back. Then I threw some of my potion at him but it landed on Zabini. Which was not my fault that he was in the way, should’ve ducked to be fair. Anyways, it wasn’t even that bad I already got the potion wrong so it just sort of made wherever it landed green, which is a cool colour-”
“Barty, the story of how you got house points?” Pandora butted in before Barty spent the rest of the walk rambling on and branching off every sentence.
“Ah, right. Uhh-”
“You were saying how you threw the potion on Zabini.” Regulus helped him to remember a lot, they were sort of perfect friends, Regulus remembered absolutely everything and then Barty remembered nothing.
“Yes, I threw it on him and then Evan got ready to hit me with paper but then Slughorn turned around and caught both of them. He gave them detention and then I started telling him how I’d never do that to him because I respect him so much. I even told off Zabini and Evan for him so he gave me 10 house points. I'm proud of myself to be honest.” He smirked at them.
Regulus shook his head at him, laughing as they turned the corner. “Well Barty, now you're his favo-” He grunted finding himself on the floor.
“Ha, look what we’ve found here. The blood traitors little ickle baby brother and his minions.” Ugh, Rabastan and his little squad of tossers. This is going to be a long day.
“Oh fuck off Ratwatsan, no one wants to be in a 5 mile radius of your stink cloud.” Barty lent down to pick Regulus up whilst Pandora got her wand out ready to fend off these idiots.
“Look here, he even has them speaking for him. Funny.” Mulciber piped up.
Regulus rolled his eyes, “Come on lets just go, can’t be asked to deal-” Pandora was thrown across the empty hallway, Barty was grabbed with a wand up to his neck. Yes, a long day definitely.
Regulus turned around slowly, they’ve done a good job to make him angry but like he said he couldn’t be asked. Maybe he can talk his way out of this.
“I know you all have this pent up sexual tension for each other, but taking it out on us isn’t going to make it go away so just fuck already.” Regulus faced Mulciber and Rabastan, he was not impressed at all by whatever stunt these three were trying to pull.
“You think you’re so funny don’t you Black. Well you aren’t going to be laughing when we start cursing your minion here.” Avery shoved his wand into Barty’s neck resulting in Barty turning to try and bite him like a rabid dog resulting in him getting punched in the face.
“Look I really don’t have time for you guys to try and show off or whatever shit this is, so just move on and we can pick this up some other day.” He went to go walk between Mulciber and Rabastan but they both grabbed his shoulders and shoved him against the wall. “Fuck sake, leave off will you.” He shoved them back.
“No, Black. You’re going to learn that this world doesn’t revolve around you. You may be powerful outside this school, but inside you’re no less than a blood traitor.” Rabastan hissed, Regulus managed to sneak in a punch, getting him right on his nose. Blood started pouring out and then there was a shift in his eyes. “You’re dead Black.” Well shit.
He blinked and then he was on the floor, his jaw hurt too much to move. It was agony, his head throbbed and he could feel the trickle of warm blood falling from his nose, which was most definitely broken. There was Barty shouting in the background but it was too faint for Regulus to be able to hear over his ears ringing, his vision started to blur as well. He then received a blow to the stomach from one of their boots, he clutched it rolling over but it was no good. They were now just kicking him, laughing and taunting either him or Barty, though he couldn’t understand any of it.
The last kick caused him to throw up, it hurt to do so. His face was most definitely broken and being sick just caused his jaw even more pain. They were still laughing, pricks.
Regulus was trying to catch his breath but he was hauled up to his feet, he tried to use the wall to lean against. His vision was still blurry and he couldn’t open one of his eyes, these tossers were going to pay for this, just not yet because Regulus then got punched in the face again. At least his ears stopped ringing.
“Look at you. Not so powerful now Black.” There were 4 of Mulciber and Rabastan, he couldn’t tell who was saying what.
“Oi you pricks, come over here! I’ll fucking beat the shit out of you!” He barked, Barty was being held by Avery, who was struggling to hold him down. Where was Panda? She was here a minute ago.
Regulus looked back up but only Rabastan was there. Someone had dived onto Mulciber and was now beating the shit out of him, which really entertained Barty because he started howling with laughter and encouraging them. Barking at Avery in between his fits of laughter.
“BEAT HIS FUCKING ARSE UP MATE! LET ME AT ‘EM!” Barty was now violently throwing himself at Rabastan. But Avery had done something causing him to just float in the air, not being able to move forward.
“Seems like your baby brother couldn’t defend himself, you like what we did with him?” He smirked at Sirius grabbing Regulus up by the collar, Barty was now growling.
“No, but I’m gonna like what I’m gonna do to you.” He balled up his fist and it went straight into Rabastan’s jaw. He grabbed his cloak and then threw him into Mulciber who had scrambled up to his feet, sending them both onto the floor.
Barty made a disgruntled noise as he fell flat on his face, Avery had lifted whatever curse he put on him. He scurried up to his feet, looking down the hall with a gasp. Pandora was there, sitting up and completely out of it. Her head bobbled as if she couldn’t even lift it up, her leg was swollen and bleeding. “You’re fucking lucky.” He turned to Avery before sprinting down to kneel beside Panda.
Regulus was still leaning against the wall, the hall was rocking back and forth, he couldn’t keep steady on his feet. Rabastan and Sirius were both on the floor rolling around, exchanging punches and kicks.
“REG! GO GET HER OUT I’M FINE!” Sirius shouted at him before slamming Rabastan into a bench.
He hesitated but Sirius was holding his own pretty well, Avery was just standing there not doing anything so it should be fine, right?
He stumbled down the hall trying his best not to topple over, which was actually really difficult. He made it to Panda, she was whimpering as Barty tried to help her up.
“Hey, hey Rhino. Look at me.” She looked up at him, lip quivering. “You’re okay, alright. Me and Reggie are going to get you out. Can you walk on it?” She shook her head and he interlocked his fingers in hers. “Reg I’m gonna carry her to the common room, hold on to my shoulder yeah I don’t want you going down too.”
Barty lifted her up gently, muttering a string of apologies and flinching whenever Pandora yelped when he touched her leg. He waited for Regulus to hold onto his shoulder before making his way to Dorcas, matching Regulus’ pace.
************
“This was all you and your crackhead boyfriend’s fault. I didn’t even do anything.” He snapped as they shuffled out the potions room.
Evan laughed, “Well you should know Babyni, you don’t get out of the way of me and my boyfriend’s antics then you get the consequences.”
“Ugh, are you lot really going to keep calling me that? It happened like 2 years ago and it was Barty’s fault!” Zabini snarled.
“Yes, but it’s still funny. You were so pissed you didn’t talk to us for like a whole month.” Evan’s lips curled as he thought back to it.
“No, I just don’t speak to you guys.” He raised his eyebrows.
“Oh, but we know you want to. You give us that look.” He smirked at Zabini, hitting their shoulders together making Zabini blush slightly.
“Anyway. Have you even said anything to him? How you even like a rabid animal like that is beyond me.” Evan was a little shocked, they never really spoke, let alone about this type of stuff.
“Well, a guy likes what he likes. I don’t even know if he is… y’know.” He tilted his head forward.
“Oh please, have you seen the way he looks at you? There’s so much sexual tension I’m surprised the two of you haven’t jumped on each other yet.” He chuckled, Evan’s face went bright red.
“W-well guess what, it’s called a friendship. Not that you’d know what that is.” He squinted his eyes at Zabini, but that just made him laugh more.
“Wow, you really like him. Just look for the signs he likes you back and play into them, if he flirts back, then shoot your shot.” Evan shoved his face in his hands.
“I can’t, we’re friends and if I mess it up I lose him. I just- I can’t do that.” He fiddled with the sleeve of his shirt as he tried to keep in his emotions.
“You never know til-” He gasped as he tripped over, grabbing onto Evan ensuring if he went down they both went together.
Evan hurled himself up, turning back to see a crumpled, mangled guy on the floor. A tangled mess of black hair, with a mix of blood and bruises.
“Fuck, Sirius. What the hell happened?” He crouched down to drag him up to his feet. It was pretty bad there was quite a bit of blood but most of it was from his fists.
“Those little shits were beating the fuck out of Reggie and threw some curse at Pandor-”
“Is Barty okay?” Evan blurted out before his cheeks flushed again. That was embarrassingly desperate.
“Ugh, yeah? He got them out.” Sirius raised one of his eyebrows at him and smirked as if to say I know exactly what you’re thinking.
He cleared his throat and stepped back to let Zabini take over. It was so stupid. There was no way in hell that Barty liked him back and that was even if he was… well like Evan. He shook his head, he shouldn't even think about it.
************
Zabini shuffled forwards, lowering himself to Sirius’ level to get a good look at the scrapes and bruises surfacing his face. It was all quite disgruntling. He helped the boy onto his feet and supported him as they made their way towards the Gryffindor common room.
“No, no.” Sirius spluttered, “I need to go–” He paused thinking carefully about what he was about to say.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to go anywhere else, not now anyways.” Evan offered, guiding them towards the tower. He obliged, but was clearly hesitant, where did he want to go?
They clambered up the moving staircase, jolting every time it swayed them about. It turned out that despite how thin Sirius seemed, he was still very difficult to haul around, especially due to Evan’s lack of help, and he ended up leaving to find Barty anyways. They managed well enough to make it to the portrait. The Fat Lady was hesitant to let the pair through but after allowing her to sing to them for 10 minutes straight, they were finally in the common room.
It was very different to the Slytherins, their coaches were red and cushioned with a material that looked more comfortable than their black leather ones. They had a cosy fireplace, and the room itself was very open. They had windows, and balconies, and they only had one table. The rest of the seating were armchairs, sofas and beanbags. He could actually get quite used to it.
Miles set Sirius down on the main sofa, opposite the fireplace. He sank into it for a minute before Zabini joined him.
“You mind telling me what happened?” He asked, with a tone of judgement.
“I don’t know, I mean I had to stop a bunch of Slytherins from hexing a second year Hufflepuff girl. Then I ran into Reggie being beat up by a bunch of low-life pricks.” He sighed, holding the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb, “I got him out of there, of course, him and his two other friends. Y’know the rabid one and the girl with white hair?”
“Barty and Pandora?” Zabini clarified.
“Yeah, them.” He nodded, “Well, I had gotten my upper hand on Rabastan and Mulciber, then Avery played dirty and used a bunch of curses and shit. Still managed to send them running though.” He bragged, smirking.
“Where did you want to go?”
“Hm?”
“Earlier you said you wanted to go somewhere else.”
“Oh, yeah. That was nothing…don’t worry about it.”
“Fine. Here, this’ll help.” Miles pulled out the Murtlap he kept in his robe, it was only a tiny moment, but it was made into a healing paste so he could make it last. He opened it slowly, dragging some along his fore and middle finger. He went to apply it on the bruises and cuts that swirled a long Sirius’ face.
“Woah–what are you doing?” He held his hand out cautiously.
“This’ll help, just keep still.” He demanded impatiently, when Sirius did as he asked, Zabini dragged the cold cream along his forehead, then spread it along his cheeks, nose and eye. There was a cut on his lip too, Miles made sure to note that to do last. His thumb hovered over it for a while, then he placed it on Sirius’ bottom lip, dragging it over gently. He didn’t stop him, his mouth even twitched a little into a slight smile.
For a moment, they sat there together, Zabini’s hand still placed on Sirius’ jawline. Neither moved, they just stayed still. It wasn’t long before the two edged towards one another, it was slow, timed. Then their lips met, they kissed leisurely, taking in every ounce they could get from each other. The other boy’s hand cupped his cheek.
He found his way tumbling on Sirius, and there they laid, nestling into one another. He kept him company in the common room for a while longer, but curfew had long since passed, and the only thing fending Filch off would be his prefect status.
“Goodbye, Black.” He smiled. “I hope we can meet like this again.”
“Bye Zabini.” Sirius grinned back. Miles didn’t know what it was, but something felt special about him. Something truly magical.
1975 - September 7th, Sunday
It was a full moon last night, Sirius watched it from the window in the common room with only the stars to keep him company. He waited until it rose, he waited until it fell and the sun came shining through, ridding them of the night. All he could think of was Moony in that shabby shack, he’d stupidly missed James so he couldn’t get to Remus on time. He hated himself for it.
He must’ve gotten through at least one and a half packs of smokes just to try and get his mind off Remus. It didn’t help–not one bit. His thoughts always wound back to him, always. There was no escape, no hideaway in his mind, nothing. There was no stopping it. And it killed him. It killed him because he knew Remus didn’t feel the same way. He was broken, wrong, poisoned. But Moony, he was right in every way you could possibly be.
Sirius banged his head on the stone frame, he would usually go to Mary or Marlene, but Mary had been sleeping in the Hufflepuff dorm room and Marls had stopped talking to him since the Feast. He couldn’t place why she wouldn’t, or even what he could’ve done. They had hardly spoken anyways so he couldn’t have upset her, could he?
“Black, you okay?” A warm voice softly called.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” He responded, fighting back a yawn.
“Y’know as your prefect I am meant to take those and report you to Minnie, right?” Frank chuckled lightly. He was in his red and gold striped pyjamas to show off House Spirit now that Quidditch had come back into motion.
“Yh, I know.” He said, tiredly. Longbottom came and leant against the cold wall opposite him.
“If you’re worried about something, like the Tournament, you know you can always speak to me, Sirius.” A look of motherly concern plastered on Frank’s face as he examined him.
“I’m okay, promise.” He smiled weakly. As much as he wanted to, there was no way he could tell Frank. It was plausible that their prefect might already know, he was always advocating for magical creatures like werewolves, but Sirius was certainly not willing to risk finding that out.
He smiled and squeezed his shoulder before wandering off to get ready for practice. The portrait opened and in came James and Peter. They were a sweaty mess, panting as they staggered into the common room. Pete was the first one to lay eyes on Sirius.
“Blimey mate, where’ve you been?” He gasped, “We could’ve done with having you there, y’know Moony prefers Padfoot anyways.”
James held on tight to his thigh as he wobbled towards the stairs.
“What happened?” Sirius asked drearily, “Are you guys alright?”
“Yeah, yeah.” James waved off his friend’s concern and continued to hobble up the winding staircase to their dormitory. “S’just a cramp.”
Skeptical, but too exhausted, Sirius accepted his disregard and began to make his own way to the infirmary to see Remus. Before he could leave through the portrait, he felt a sudden pull on his arm yanking him backwards.
“Sirius, look, it wasn’t that bad.” Peter looked around wearily at his surroundings, leaning in, and hushing his voice, “Moony tried to playfight with Prongs like he does with Padfoot. Prongs just couldn’t keep up and he took a blow is all. The cut wasn’t deep, it didn’t even bleed much, so we don’t need to worry about it, just try and make sure you come to the next moon.” Sirius nodded, but felt the guilt take clutch in his gut.
– – – – – – –
He was lucky Madame Pomfrey let him in so early, it had just barely been sunrise. He was too busy preparing himself for what Remus was about to say to him that he almost missed the brand new scars that wrapped around his right arm. It made him feel nauseous, knowing that this was all his fault, and that he was to blame for the pain Remus was suffering.
Nothing berated him more than seeing his best friend lying there, asleep, and hurting. Murtlap couldn’t heal these scars. They would be there forever. An eternal reminder, plastered onto Remus’ body of how Sirius failed him. His eyes floated helplessly down his friend’s wrangled body. He watched as his chest rose and fell, his breathing was steady, he looked so peaceful.
Remus’ lips parted slightly, as if he was trying to speak. Sirius allowed himself to get closer to hear what he was saying. “Si–sirius” He whispered softly. His eyes remained sealed, his breathing faltered before fluttering back to how it was before.
“My dear,” Madame Pomfrey chirped, ripping Sirius out of the haze he was in, “Mr Lupin will be quite alright, you know, he is a strong boy.” He nodded politely, but she seemed to have caught on that something was not right.
“The scars are not as deep as some of the worse ones. They will heal quickly, and will most likely fade.” She offered kindly, rubbing his shoulder.
“Do they hurt?” He asked, “The scars, I mean. Do they hurt?” The mediwitch examined him with an odd look.
“Some may, more than others, but they will heal.” She reassured.
He nodded in acknowledgement, far from comforted. She just didn’t understand.
************
His eyes battered open, and he recalled the memory of the shack. The stag and rat were there, but the dog wasn’t. This was the first time in a long time that he couldn’t remember the full moon. Remus carefully inspected the bandages hugging his right arm, then he looked to the left to see a rag of black hair resting on his bed. It was the dog.
His fingers brushed slightly against Sirius’ as he slept soundly. He felt a strange flutter roam in his stomach, he was probably just tired, yeah, tired. The boy stirred a little before lifting his head, his eyes widened, he didn’t think he looked that bad, did he?
“Moony, I…” Sirius breathed shakily. “I’m so, so sorry. I should’ve tried harder to get to you, it’s just so much was happening and Reggie, oh, Reggie was getting into all sorts of trouble. I thought I had time, y’know, I really did and–”
“It’s okay Sirius.” He couldn’t help but laugh, it was quite funny seeing Sirius ramble like that, but he did feel a little bad when his eyes became glassy. “Padfoot, it’s okay, I promise. I’m not upset, I–I would have liked you there, but it wasn’t your fault. Like you said Reg was in trouble and you needed to help him, and that’s fine. Just please don’t be upset.”
He almost reached for Sirius’ face, but quickly stopped himself. That’s not what friends do, Remus reminded himself. It wasn’t normal. Besides, looking at him was enough.
Poppy checked over him one last time before he was finally allowed to leave the infirmary. Sirius in tow, they slowly made their way back to the Gryffindor Common Room where James and Peter were waiting for them.
“Right, breakfast then?” James jumped up from the sofa, wobbling a little, and gesturing towards the portrait. Peter dragged his feet as he wandered towards everyone from the armchair he had just got comfortable in.
“Don’t you have quidditch practice?” Remus questioned, arching a brow.
“Ah, well, you see…” He rubbed the back of his head.
“Jamie here has been forced to take time off,” Sirius threw an arm around James, “you see, Moons, I may have accidentally hurt his leg because I, well, you know me, I’m a Stallion.” He winked, sending hot flushes around Remus’ chest, neck and cheeks, Merlin, he hoped he wasn’t blushing right now.
James proceeded to punch Sirius in the ribs for his crude comments, “I just mean that I am just ten times better at fighting than you so naturally you got injured.” He smirked, knowing exactly what he was doing. Prongs didn’t accept this and got Sirius in a headlock before scruffing his head.
“OW OW NO NOT THE HAIR PRONGS, NOT THE FUCKING HAIR.”
– – – – – – –
Remus wasn’t stupid, he knew James didn’t get hurt from playfighting with Sirius, not enough to miss Quidditch Practice anyways. Merlin knows that it wouldn’t be a good enough reason to suffer from Longbottom’s wrath.
“James! You weren’t at practice today, do you want to waste your life lying around?” His hands were placed firmly on his hips, he could give McGonagall a run for her money. “It only takes one missed practice before you start taking more and more and then suddenly you have no idea how to work your damn broom!” It was even funnier because Frank downright refused to swear, damn was the best you could get out of him, and that usually meant he was furious. At least it was James at the end of his anger.
“And you lot! You're just going to encourage this behaviour!” He spoke too soon, “Show some House Pride and rally him up to get to practice!” With that, Frank spun on his heels and stormed off, Alice was too busy chuckling to catch up with him properly.
James shifted in his seat uncomfortably, his eyes flickering between Sirius, Peter and him. What on earth was his problem?
Breakfast was nice, it always seemed to be after a full moon—Dumbledore was probably behind that. He didn’t mind, it was kinda sweet to see how happy it made his friends. Peter was divulging in his jam and porridge combination, which got him some unpleasant looks from Sirius who opted for a safer option of raisins and porridge. James was ravaging two bowls of porridge and three pieces of marmalade on toast–as per usual.
Lily made her way down the hall, dragging Mary, Lottie and Marlene down with her. They sat in their usual seats, the four of them cornering him, James, Sirius and Peter. Lily next to him, Marlene next to James, Mary next to Sirius and finally, Lottie next to Pete.
“Sooo, what did Frank want? He seemed pretty angry and didn’t even stop to talk to me about-”
“Nothing, nothing. I just missed the practice. It’s fine though, he’ll get over it.” James smiled at Marlene, but everyone could tell something was off. All the girls had their eyebrows raised and were looking at Remus, but the boys refused to even peek at him.
“Why are you all looking at me? And why aren’t you guys?” His eyes darted between everyone trying to see if he could figure it out.
“Nothing.” The three of them said in sync with weak grins. Yeah, something was definitely off.
Remus ignores it, but he was certainly going to bring it up to them, just not yet.