Chapter Text
Truth be told, you didn’t even want to go to his funeral.
Why bother standing around people who wept false tears? Worse yet, being there meant you had to see real tears. You didn’t need to listen to people talk about how good of a person he was, or how his sacrifice for the scientific community was so noble despite its tragedy—you already knew. You knew everything there was to know about him: each good thing, each bad thing…
…and you knew he didn’t deserve to be dead.
You especially didn’t want to face his parents. But it was required and expected of you to show up, and you didn’t want the world to permanently brand you as a girl who ditched on her fiance’s funeral. So you stood, stone-faced as the ceremonial casket drifted past.
You sucked it up and held his parents’ hands as they wept. “I miss him too,” you murmured gently, “and I’m sure he died happy, following his dreams.” Honestly, you didn’t even know what you were saying any more; at this point you were only regurgitating what other people had told you. After that was done, you high-tailed it off the hill, determined not to cry. He wouldn’t want you to cry.
“Excuse me, Miss? You’re Shiro’s fiancée, right?”
Puzzled with the sudden yell, you turned, facing a young red-faced girl. She had obviously been trying to run after you, but was clumsy in her heels. She caught her breath, bent over on her knees while looking at you expectantly. You nodded warily.
“Yes. Sorry, who are you? Have we met?”
“Katie Holt. And no, but I think you can guess who I am.”
“Ah,” you nodded, remembering the name. In a way, she had it worse than you, having lost both her father and brother. A distant look of muted sorrow passed over your face. “I’m sorry for your loss.
“I didn’t lose anything!” Katie spat, suddenly hostile. Your heart jumped with surprise as she pointed at you accusatorily. “And you didn’t either!”
“I… what are you talking about?”
“Do you really think that they crashed? Do you really think that’s true?”
The answer was no. Shiro was too good a pilot for something like that; but what else were you supposed to believe? Mistakes happened. Especially in deep space. Your gut clenched at the thought, but you grit your teeth and repeated the expression to Katie, who merely scoffed impatiently.
“If you really love him, you’ll believe that he’s still out there. You can feel it, can’t you? They’re still alive, I know it!”
“I do. Love him. Okay? And I hate him for that, and I’m grieving. I don’t need a kid like you to feed me false hopes. He’s gone, your dad and brother are gone, and we’ve got to accept it.” The tears you had struggled to hold back fell freely and you palmed them away, frustrated with yourself for losing composure and frustrated with Shiro for leaving you behind. Katie glowered at you.
“I… I don’t believe it. You’re just going to give up?”
“How else am I supposed to go about it? Fly to the Kuiper Belt and see their dead bodies for myself?” You immediately regretted saying such harsh words to a kid and shook your head instead, diverting your shamed gaze to the ground. “I’m sorry, Katie, but… there’s nothing we can do.”
“Why did you say you hated him?” she asked quietly, the sudden gear change in tone surprising you. Her head had fallen forwards and you knew she was hiding tears under her auburn hair. “You said you loved him,” she pressed in a shaky voice, “and you ‘hated him for that’. What do you even mean by that?”
“He proposed to me just before he left, you know?” you said softly, recalling the memory fondly. “I wanted to kick him in the knees. What kind of guy springs something like that and takes off for a year? But I said yes anyways, because I loved him. I said I would wait.” You sighed and took a step forward, patting Katie on the head. “I hate him because he made me fall in love with him. That’s all.”
“…you’re weird. And I don’t care what you think.” She brushed your hand off of her and wiped her nose with her sleeve, fierce determination alight in her eyes. “I know that they’re still out there, whether or not you do too. I’ll find them. Then I’ll bring my family and Shiro back, so that you can tell him you hate him to his face.” She then turned and stormed away. You laughed to yourself a little, unable to do anything else but stand and stare. You wished you could share in her determination, but you were still left too numb to do anything but hope. Wait, and hope. The sun finally set and you were left alone in the dark, wind tousling your hair, and for a second it felt like when he used to do it. You clenched your fists and looked up.
“Hey, Mr. Perfect!”
Shiro turned to look down at you, looking mildly surprised.
“Me?”
“Yeah, you. Who else?”
He laughed a little. “I’m not perfect. Nobody is.”
“Are you kidding me? You’re valedictorian, an ace pilot, you’re kind to a fault… and you’re cute.”
“…you think I’m cute?”
“Who wouldn’t, dummy?” You looked away to recollect your composure before staring at him determinedly. “So that’s why… I want to figure out if you’ve got any secrets lurking behind that perfect persona.”
Shiro stopped in the middle of the hallway and stared at you, squinting hard.
“Are you… asking me on a date?”
You blinked.
“For a genius, you can be pretty slow.”
“I’ll be rooting for you Katie,” you muttered, yours eyes catching on Sagittarius. Pluto and its moons couldn’t be seen by the naked eye, but for a brief second, you thought you saw something flash at you.