Chapter Text
Lilac Love Potion
Chapter 3 Part 1: Lilac
Time is precious, be careful with your time.
That was the lesson Lilac’s mother constantly hammered into her head. Being part-Veela and witches meant that their lifespans were significantly longer than muggles, but it was still limited and could slip away. Lilac could hear her mother’s haunting words repeat in her head, her voice sharp and sagacious.
Bear in mind, Precious Bloom, the vast majority are akin to mere flies. Even those of fairer visage, such as the butterfly, remain, at their core, flies. Their peregrinations are unknown, and it is entirely conceivable they have been mired in the most unseemly of circumstances. Thus, dismiss them with haste, lest you find yourself besmirched by their potential defilement. Allocate your invaluable time solely to individuals of merit and those you love.
Of course, Lilac dismissed her warnings when she was an ignorant 1st year student, excited to finally have her own wand and meet all sorts of potential friends. Lilac was shocked by the realization that most people sucked the life out of you. With her Veela charms, Lilac garnered the attention of everyone, and they greedily tried to occupy so much of her time that she hardly had time for herself. She did disagree with her mother about one thing, that people were like flies. They were more like moths to light. Tiring, but harmless save for an unsavory few.
Thankfully, Lilac came up with a system of conserving her social energy and spending it wisely. The outliers were her friends. With them, Lilac hardly felt drained. Despite her busy schedule of classes and studying, she allocated quality time with them.
The activity of the current meet-up was knitting.
Lilac sat outside with her best friends, Dorcas Meadowes and Mary Macdonald, underneath the beech tree near the Great Lake. Her pet rats, Nibbles and Wiggles, were curled up fast asleep in her lap using her pinafore as a blanket. The autumn sun was occasionally covered by clouds littering the afternoon. The breezy weather was perfect to bask in.
The friend group was in their usual knitting circle, each focused on their craft. Today was Halloween, so they decided during their last meeting for their creations to be Halloween themed for the fun holiday. Dorcas was taking her time with her pumpkin doll while Mary was speedrunning another candy corn plush. Everyone was doing what they previously agreed upon except for Lilac. She was in the middle of knitting something using dark emerald green yarn, the ball of yarn spinning inside of her wicker basket.
Lilac was enraptured by what she was making, her head in the clouds floating with Severus.
His expression when she gave him her prized Transfiguration book was etched into her memory. How his cheeks turned a light shade of pink, the softening of his midnight eyes, the way he hugged the book. All aspects of his reaction were perfectly preserved. She wanted nothing more than to shower him with gifts. The only problem was that she used up most of her allowance already. Maybe this gift that she put her heart and soul into would be enough for now. Maybe she would finally see him smile.
Lilac giggled to herself, imagining Severus’s surprise. She would give it to him late at night, the full moon shining brighter than the shimmery stars. The more romantic, the better. He would open the gift and be so happy. So full of lust! Fireworks will erupt in the distance. Severus would wrap his slender arms around her waist and then lean in for a —
“What’s you making?” Mary asked, breaking Lilac out of her daydream.
Lilac frowned. She was at the best part of her musing.
Mary was as curious as ever. She was her more hyperactive friend. They’ve known each other since before Hogwarts. Her strawberry blonde hair was brushed back by the orange knitted headband Lilac made for her. She wore braces with headgear that fitted it into place.
Lilac was so confused when she saw the strange contraption last year. Mary told her with a puff of her chest that they were to fix her annoying underbite.
Since Lilac’s dad was a muggle, she thought she knew all about the muggle world from him. Lilac was often proven wrong by Mary. Who would have thought braces could be so invasive and painful? Lilac knew about the dentist since her dad insisted she goes at least once a year even though her teeth were healthy. She laughed when she remembered her parents bicker about it whenever it was time for Lilac to go. Her mom insisted it was “superfluous” since they could easily clean teeth with magic. Her dad argued that a “simple wave of the wand” couldn’t be as thorough as a toothbrush and floss. Lilac just liked going to the dentists for the compliments of how perfectly straight her teeth were, pearly whites having hardly any plaque and no need for braces. Those were the days. How Lilac wished to return to those happy times.
“Hello?! Earth-tph to Lilac!” Mary scowled, her headgear making it difficult for her to talk. She often slurred her words and drooled, especially when she was excited.
“Oh, um. A sweater,” Lilac said before clearing her throat.
She caressed the knitted collar, remembering Madam Pomfrey’s teachings about clearing her mind and her mother’s insistence on her learning occlumency to hide her trauma. Either way, Lilac reminded herself how those happy moments with her parents were gone, family damaged beyond repair. She should instead focus on the positive like making new happy memories with her best friends and even happier ones with Severus. Those torturous moments were over even though their effects persisted. No amount of musing could change the past.
“If I work on it a little every day, I’ll finish it in time for Christmas,”
“A sweater? How sweet,” Dorcas mumbled, not looking up from her work.
Dorcas was Lilac’s more laidback friend, and she looked the part. Her waist length cornrows were decorated with rainbow beads, walnut brown skin beautifully glossy. She wore large peace sign earrings, and her arms were covered in handmade beaded bracelets. Her honey brown eyes were misty due to how much weed she smoked. The sweet earthy scent of it was calming to Lilac. Dorcas even let her try a puff once, but she gagged, the smoke burning her lungs. Lilac was fine with just the smell from a distance, learning her lesson.
Lilac ran her finger over the amethyst friendship bracelet that Dorcas made when their friend group formed in second year.
“Who's the lucky fellow?” Dorcas asked.
Lilac felt her cheeks heat up and she tried to cover her face with her knitting.
“H-how do you know it's for my crush?!” she sputtered.
“Lilac, you are practically glowing,” Mary giggled.
“Your essence tantalizes me more than usual. If you let me, I would kiss you here and now,” Dorcas mused as casually as commenting on the weather.
“Dorcas!” Lilac gasped.
“Frisky this early in the morning?” Mary teased.
“T-think about Marlene!” Lilac puttered, lightly hitting Dorcas’s arm.
Dorcas showed no sign that she felt Lilac’s attack and sighed, almost whimsically.
“She’d understand. Marlene would snog you if she had the chance. It had been a topic between us once or twice. Just imagine the three of us, together,"
Lilac scoffed and looked away, not answering as she knitted another knot. This made Mary laugh harder, wiping her drool with her sleeve.
“You know I love you, but it is purely platonic! I wouldn't put up with your antics if I didn’t,” Lilac humphed. “Same with you, Mary,”
“I know, but if you ever want to experiment—,”
“Okay, okay. Enough teasing, Dorcas,” Mary said, wiping her watery blue eyes from laughing so hard. “We got to know who Lilac likes before you scare her off!”
Mary put a hand on Lilac’s shoulder to prevent her from doing just that. Lilac shook her off before motioning to the sleeping rats on her lap.
“I’m not leaving anytime soon. Nibbles and Wiggles are knocked out, so I am stuck,”
“Thank Merlin for your babies!” Mary laughed and adjusted her clunky square glasses.
“I just knew something was amiss when you stopped gushing about Count Dracula and Thorin Oakenshield in fourth year. I assumed you started reading erotica and were too ashamed to admit it like a true closeted degenerate! So, who is he? Are you finally giving Gilderoy a chance? He’s been asking you out since first year,”
The thought of Lockhart made Lilac shudder.
“I’ll never read that in a million years. I’m not you! And Lockhart’s so annoying. He is more self-absorbed than Narcissus. Why can’t the guy take no for an answer?” Lilac gagged.
“He’s Ravenclaw. He knows what he is doing. He simply doesn't care,” Dorcas commented, pausing her knitting. “It’s pretty funny to see how guilty he looks whenever he walks past you with his new fling. Like all his girlfriends are just placeholders until he has you,”
Lilac rolled her eyes.
“And that’s why I would never be with him. Treating girls like playthings before throwing them away? We are people! I am not some prize to be won,”
“Welp, that’s all I got for Ravenclaw, and I don’t really interact with anyone in Hufflepuff. Forgettable and weird bunch they are,” Mary commented halfheartedly.
“That’s so rude! You’re weird too?!” Lilac cried. “You shouldn’t discriminate based on someone’s house,”
“I don’t know. You might do it subconsciously,” Dorcas added, smirking.
“I do not!” Lilac rebutted. “I know people in every house,”
“Oh yeah, name one person from Hufflepuff,” Mary jibed with a raised brow.
“Other than Professor Sprout,” Dorcas interjected before Lilac could answer.
There was a moment of silence.
“Well, I am sure I would recognize someone if I saw their face,” Lilac mumbled.
She made a mental note to talk to some Hufflepuffs later. She did share Herbology with them this year.
“Then he must be a Gryffindor! The best house is my house. Dragging you to watch quidditch practice really paid off. So, which of James’s crew is it?” Mary demanded, nudging Lilac’s shoulder.
“James Potter? Sirius Black? You have to get in line for Remus Lupin. He is so hot and reserved. He gives serious werewolf vibes with his endearing conflicted nature. He is struggling with a huge daunting secret like being a werewolf! A real life Bertrand Caillet! So sexy,”
Mary was holding her cheeks with her gushing. Lilac scrunched up her face.
“Isn’t James dating someone?” Dorcas chimed in.
“It’s complicated. Rumors had it they were snogging in some abandoned classroom, but I know Lily isn’t that kind of girl. More like she’s testing the waters with James. They should just date already! He’s been pining for her longer than Gilderoy has been after Lilac! Honestly, she plays too much,”
Dorcas nodded in understanding. “Marlene was like that too before we started dating. Playing hard to get. Must be a Gryffindor thing,”
“Enough about them! Nothing but a bunch of bumbling bullies!” Lilac shouted, waking up Nibbles and Wiggles.
Her pet rats sniffed around her lap to check out what was wrong. Lilac started petting them to calm them and herself down and as a small apology for waking them up. Dorcas and Mary looked at each other before back at Lilac, sharing the same worried expression.
“Did something happen between you and their group?” Dorcas asked.
Lilac nodded.
“They are a mischievous bunch, but they mean no harm,” Mary insisted. “Well, Peter’s a little gross. But Remus is so nice. He helps me with my Defense Against the Dark Arts homework all the time! Were you caught in the crossfire of one of James’s and Sirius’s pranks?”
Lilac shook her head, trembling. She hadn’t told anyone about her altercation with James and the other bullies after Madam Pomfrey’s dismissal. Honestly, she wanted to forget about the whole thing and focus on the excitement of being study buddies with Severus. But there was a nagging feeling that she might become their new target. They might not hex her because she was a girl, but most spells could be used as a weapon if used in a certain way.
“I don’t want to talk about it. I just don’t want to hear about them nor watch their quidditch practice, alright?”
Lilac went back to her knitting, the collar almost complete.
It was not like she didn’t trust her friends. She usually confided in them with just about everything. But she did not want to drag her friends into this.
“Alright, I won’t push. Just tell Professor Flitwick when you are ready,” Dorcas said.
Mary nodded in agreement.
“No more talking about them. I’ll just tell you about my smut hoard!” Mary teased, trying to lighten the mood. “My most recent read was Fear of Flying by Erica Jong. Not my usual monster romance but pretty good,”
Dorcas nodded.
“Thanks for letting me borrow it. Isadora’s story about her sexuality and self-discovery was quite engaging, especially—”
“Nope, not listening!” Lilac shouted, covering her ears.
Dorcas and Mary chuckled. Lilac cracked a smile as well.
“I guess we will never know who Lilac has a crush on,” Mary shrugged, about to go back to her knitting.
“Aren’t you forgetting a house?” Dorcas tutted.
“Dorcas, I already listed the most likely houses. Lilac would never catch feelings for a slimy Slytherin. Right Lilac?”
Lilac focused her attention on the blanket they were all sitting on.
“I told you before that you shouldn’t judge someone based on their house,”
“Oh, hell nah!” Mary cried.
“I guessed her crush was Slytherin from the beginning since the sweater is dark green,” Dorcas said simply. “It was funny watching you be in denial, Mary. Listing everyone but the obvious,”
“Fucking hell, Lilac! Evan Rosier might have pecs for days. I know, I’ll admit that I have watched Slytherin quidditch practice from time to time. I have no shame! But he is most definitely a blood purist. He hangs with that arsehole Mulciber. Bothering me about my braces, the twats!”
“I don’t even know who Evan is. Besides, not all Slytherins are bad. Just misunderstood,” Lilac insisted.
“I agree with Lilac on that one. One of my stoner buddies is Slytherin,” Dorcas added. “Chiller than some Hufflepuffs I know,”
Mary covered her mouth and closed her eyes, cringing hard.
“Maybe Lilac’s crush is someone we don’t know,” She said, nearing hysterics. “Some hunky half-blood Slytherin who is not a blood purist. A muggleborn Slytherin would have been killed their first year,”
“And no Slytherin deaths in all the years we have been in Hogwarts,” Dorcas added. “That we know of,”
“So, who is he? Is he handsome?” Mary asked.
“Extremely,” Lilac whispered with a soft bashful smile. “He has striking features, a unique charm. He makes my heart flutter whenever I see him. You guys most likely don’t know him since he’s so elusive. He’s not shy, just introverted,”
Lilac’s friends leaned forward with anticipation, Mary erratically motioning Lilac to continue. The more Lilac expressed, the louder she became, reaching a crescendo with her gushing. She only talked about Severus to her animal friends like Nibbles and the Hogwarts house elves. Sadly, animals hardly show any indication of understanding the depth of her love. Nibbles would mostly stare at her with his black beady eyes, no thoughts behind them as he boggled to her pets. House elves were much more understanding, and she loved their overenthusiasm to listen, but they had their hands full with their never ending duties in attending Hogwarts. Lilac couldn’t keep them from their duties for long; Cosa was the exception with her amazing multitasking skills.
“His skin’s milky and hair glazed dark like an ink bottle, a wondrous contrast. His eyes are ebony, almost pitch black. A new moon in a bustling city sky. You’d easily get lost if you gazed into them,”
Lilac turned to Dorcas, clasping her hands.
“I-I never knew confessing would be so hard. I want to tell him so badly, but the fear of rejection stops me. So many people have confessed to me that I have lost count. I have gained so much respect for them! Did they all feel the same way I do? Did you feel the same way when you confessed to me?!”
“Uh…”
Mary went between Lilac and Dorcas.
“Woah there, Shakespeare! Breathe!”
She made motions of taking deep breaths and Lilac copied.
“In. Out. There we go. We just want to know his name. Just, his name,”
Lilac breathed deep until her erratic heart became a tiny bit calm. She let out a light chuckle.
“You two are a bunch of worrywarts. I won’t have a panic attack over a crush,”
Lilac looked down at Wiggles and Nibbles playing with her twiddling thumbs.
Her intention wasn’t to keep her crush on Severus a secret. She was usually pretty open about her nonexistent love life. That was because all of her previous crushes were fictional characters. She salivated her crush on Count Dracula to Mary for hours on end. Severus was different. He was real. Her love for him was whole and true, not some hopeless daydream. She might not know much about him, but she will learn with time. Even with the brief encounters they’ve had, her heart only grew fonder.
“Alright, I’ll tell you,” she finally said.
She closed her eyes and straightened her back, gathering her confidence.
“I am in love with Severus Snape!”
Dorcas and Mary gasped collectively. Lilac was expecting the gasps. Severus was absolutely dreamy and amazing in every way. What she did not expect were the gagging noises from Mary. Was Mary so shocked by her wonderful choice of a man that she choked on her own saliva? Lilac quickly opened her eyes to find Mary swooning across Dorcas’s lap, her hand draped on her forehead. Lilac understood Mary’s reaction, she almost swooned when she first saw Severus all those years ago.
“Bloody hell! Dorcas, you know just about everyone. It’s not who I think it is. Maybe there is someone in a different year named Severus?”
Dorcas shook her head.
“No,” she whispered, voice cracking. “There is only one Severus Snape,”
Mary let out a blood curdling wail, causing Lilac to flinch and her pet rats to scurry into her pinafore’s pocket to hide.
“Oh Merlin! Not just Merlin. He can’t help us, he’s dead!” Mary cried, eyes teary. “Oh God! Oh Allah! Oh Buddha! Oh EVERYONE! Why him?!”
Lilac put her hands on her hips and scoffed at Mary’s antics.
“You guys are making it sound like a bad thing. Severus is the most attractive man I have ever seen,”
“Um…attractive?” Dorcas asked, tucking her rosy lips.
Mary grabbed Lilac’s shoulders and gave them a good shake.
“Are you mad? Completely barmy?! You can be with just about any man, Lilac. Boys ask me about you all the time. Some are absolutely amazing. You gotta get your eyes checked by an optometrist,” Mary said.
“Those don’t exist in the wizarding world,” Dorcas corrected offhandedly, recovering from shock.
“Fine, a fucking eye Healer or see my eye doctor. She’s bloody great! Are you sure he didn’t spike—,”
“Severus would never do something so horrible!” Lilac argued. “I have perfect vision. You’re the one with horrible vision! And I've been eating all my meals in the kitchens. What you are inferring is absolutely impossible!”
“I might be blind as a bat, but I know ugly when I see it! He’s a goblin drenched in motor oil,” Mary said.
“Completely horrid,” Dorcas added. “Have you seen his teeth? Greasy hair?”
“Basically, a nude dementor!” Mary shouted.
“That’s just uncalled for!” Lilac cried, but her friends completely ignored her.
“And his personality, gah! He is always glaring wherever he goes with his shoulders all hunched like Quasimodo. That Greasy Git,” Mary said.
“Severus got that dog in him; rabid dog energy,” Dorcas interjected.
“I’m done!”
Lilac began to collect her things and put them into her basket before standing up. She barely towered over them.
“You two are being completely unreasonable! Bigger bullies than James and his posse!”
“And Severus is not a bully? He has what’s coming to him. He is literally one of Mulciber’s goons. You know, that slimy Slytherin that keeps harassing me over my headgear?”
“No one deserves to be bullied,” Lilac replied. “Was Severus even there when Mulciber was mean to you?”
“Well, no. B-but he eats with them in the Great Hall! I’m sure he’s laughing with them, calling me and other muggleborns that slur. Maybe even calling you and Professor Flitwick that awful slur for being part magical creature,”
“He’s doing no such thing! I’ve never even heard him laugh, ever. I’m sure he’s absolutely miserable. Everyone is treating him like garbage. How do you even know, anyway? Snape is not a pureblood surname. He’s most likely half blood or even a fellow muggle born. Have you heard him say it?”
“Yes,” Mary said.
Lilac took a deep breath, holding back her angry tears. Just the thought of Severus saying those things made her stomach drop. Of all the time she spent with him, he never seemed like the kind of guy to do that. Sure, he was rough around the edges. But he had a pure heart, she knew it.
“I don’t believe you,” Lilac said.
“There are only half bloods and pure bloods in Slytherin,” Dorcas said, getting up to put a hand on Lilac’s shoulder to placate her. “I know you show kindness to every house, but Slytherins are known to be full of blood purists. Most likely to be Death Eaters. It wouldn’t be surprising that those slurs are part of his vocabulary. Especially around his housemates,”
Lilac couldn’t look her friends in the eye, and she shook off Dorcas’s hand. She was sure Severus would never even dream about joining that vile gang. Everyone was blind, even her closest friends.
She turned around and was about to leave, but Mary stood up and grabbed Lilac’s hand.
“If you don’t believe me. Then I will take you to someone who you will believe,”
Lilac pulled her arm away and glared at Mary, making her take a step back.
“And why would I go with you? With how you've been acting, whoever you take me to is just another bully!”
“No, she is nothing like that. She detests bullies and commonly stands up for people. You will quite like her. I have been wanting you two to meet for a while now, but I know how hesitant you are about new people. You two have pretty a lot in common like you both having flower names,”
Lilac was hesitant.
“How does she know Severus? He is such a private person. I always see him alone,”
Mary again took Lilac’s hand.
“Because she's childhood best friends with him. Her name is Lily Evans,”