Chapter Text
Today is the only day the Land doesn’t let us have sun. I suppose it’s to keep us humble. To show us what we’d live through without its generosity. There's no school today either. I’ve never understood why. It’s the middle of the week, and it’s not even near the beginning nor the end. Others call it the day of true sun, or just Sunday. I've never understood why, isn't it the opposite?
Today holds an important day to the church. There's teachings, and a ritual. The ritual, when done right, deems if we're accepted by the land. I personally despise it. It's never been the greatest to have to slit your wrist frequently just to put them in water from the moon. It stings, and they add dirt to it as well. But it cleanses us. Our blood can never pollute the water, and it fizzes anytime they're underwater. The pain is almost worth it. You can leave afterwards too if you've heard the teachings. It's something we're encouraged to invite too, which is a pain for me. Despite my kindness, I usually avoid people. Most are insufferable, and I can never understand why they do what. There was somebody CLAIMING to be devoted to the Land, but then missed a protest because their grades were supposedly abysmal? The Land doesn't deserve to pay the price for your stupidity you selfish idiot! I don't have a 'spark' with anyone either. Most people are the same, and all of this feels like just too much for company. I only care now because of invitations. I have trouble
talking to a lot of my family. My parents don't worship the Land, and are hesitant when I bring it up. I thought they were nice people, but now I know where they're going. Up, where they belong, with the rest of the sinners. Wayne at least listens, despite how stupid he is from time to time. I'll ask if he wants to come. If the worst happens? I suppose I can find others. People don't usually say no to me anyways.
“Ahem. Wayne?” I place a hand on his shoulder, watching as he turns to me with his commonly tired expression. It’s almost like he’s ungrateful to be here…I push that thought aside to finally ask him what I wanted to. “You wouldn’t mind coming with me to the ritual, would you? As you know, it’s quite important.” He seems to hesitate at first before he regained his indifferent look. “I wasn’t…planning on it? Of course, I’d come, but I-“
“Don’t make up excuses, Wayne.” I cut him off, taking note of how his gaze went from me to the grass, then back to me again. “It’s a simple yes or no.” Wayne would stay quiet for a few seconds, seemingly thinking about what to say. Knowing him, he’d probably say yes. He crumbles easily.
“..S-Sure, sure…I’ll try my best to come, okay? I just gotta finish some things. I-I’ll.. see you there..” He gave me a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Either way, he was coming, and that was good. “Great. I’m glad you made the proper decision.” I gave his shoulder a pat before walking past him, making my way to the building that awaited me. The Land’s church. I’ll ask a bystander on the way to come too. More the merrier. Knowing him, this will probably be the last time he comes. He doesn't seem like the type to accept the injury done in the ceremony. He'll get worried, then say I should leave. But it's only a tiny prick, and our blood especially helps plants grow. Even if it hurts, knowing I help the land is one of my greatest honors.
Wayne should be following me, but I suppose he's late. I should've known. I don't usually see him late to things but there must be a first for everything. I sigh, and look around. Asking a random person to come to a ritual may make me seem like a madman. But...
what else can I-
"Hi Winston!!"
Oh Land.
"I brought the book I told you about yesterday! We can look at it while we're waiting for the others! I was kind of worried, I mean usually people invite people and I didn't have anyone to, but then I realized you probably didn't either? I mean, I could probably apologize, a lot of people I know got infected with something... we don't know what it is yet though but I think it's spreading around school. Makes you think- how wasn't I infected?" She finally asked.
She said a lot of things, most of them I don't care about. She should've gotten what her friends have. Then this holy event wouldn't be tainted with her presense. But does she really think I'm so lonely I need to be friends with her? Or that I'm oh-so lonely and won't have anyone to invite? Who does she take me as? Land give me patience... but she's trying? The book hardly interests me. I can go outside the walls when I please, why couldn't I have just said that so she doesn't have an excuse to talk to me? I suppose I do have to respond to her at some point though...
"The Land blessed you so you could go to this event, though I was able to invite my brother, unlike you." I responded. "The priests have to understand though..." If she's seen as similar to
me in church, they'd cut her some slack for her work. Even if they're stupid for even comparing us. I'd get over my ailment to come, unlike
her.
She kept walking with me. "Yeah, they have to! Can't just ignore being sick right?" She said. "And, Winston... can you do me a really huge favor?? It'll get you some reputation with the priests too!!" She asked me.
The last part of her sentence piqued my interest. "What might it be?" I asked. I shouldn't make this a habit. It'll just be one time, and it won't be much anyways.
"Could you say you invited me? Then I'll get a pass for not inviting anyone because I'm invited! Then you can invite more people, and I don’t have to invite anyone.!”
Her idea wasn’t bad, but why couldn’t she admit she had nobody to invite.
I ignored it and smiled, “Good idea.”
I had finally arrived, and it was the only time I wasn't early. I had two volunteers and an excuse. It'll be fine.
Father called me to the front, the water resembling the waterfall from the moon, and he stared at me.
"My child, you know what to do." He whispered while staring at me. He stepped away from me, and got a knife from the table. I unbuttoned my sleeve and raised it up, and opened to where my palm would be.
We always did this ritual inside, and it was dark. I was the only one illuminated. The air was heavier to breathe, and my hand began shaking.
I extended my other arm, and he gave me the knife. I take the knife, and look at my wrist.
I still have scars, they're like the guidelines of what to draw.
I take the knife, and slowly drag it along the scars, opening them back up. Carving the symbol of the land onto my wrist, and watching the blood drop into the water. Bubbling, sizzling. Cleansing it.
My lines were jagged, my arm kept shaking, and the knife cut too deep. I felt the urge to scream, but I bit my tongue before opening my mouth. There was hardly even a noise. I'm not even halfway done, and I feel myself about to cry.
This is my dedication. This is my life, and this is for the land.
I stare at my arm, and I inhale, bite my tongue more, and keep carving. Once I finished, the blood was pooling down. My sleeve was stained, and my arm wouldn't stop shaking. I plunged it into the water, the pain feeling like my arm was on fire, and it felt like it was attacking me.
Father took the knife from me, and I couldn't stop smiling. The ritual, it contributed to my growth the most. The growth of the land. It was my greatest honor.
"Thank you."
"I understand you're busy, leave, and spread our word." He said, and dismissed me. I tried slowly walking outside so I wouldn’t draw any more attention.
After the doors closed I looked at my arm. It still hasn’t stopped bleeding. What’s wrong with it? I reached for the door but I know it’s too late to go back. I didn’t do anything wrong, did he use a different knife? What did he do to me.
Luna walked out of the church, she saw me staring at my wrist. Hers wasn’t bleeding. Her sleeve wasn’t even rolled up.
“O-oh my god. Are you-“
“I have it covered, Luna. He just made a mistake.” I said. “Go back inside, it doesn’t look like you’ve gone yet.”
“I’m not going back inside! I’m not doing that!”
“You’re turning your back on the land, and for what? Fear? Worry that it’ll hurt?”
She paused. “For you.” and I could hear the church door creak open. She was going back inside.
For me? Me and the Land, beings of equal importance. To somebody as dedicated as her.
I started walking back home. I thought of going outside the walls, but I’d be noticed. Some blood was creating a trail behind me, and I know Luna would try looking for me. Wayne would ask about the ritual too, I couldn’t explain that.
After getting home, I went to the attic. I used my blood to bloom a flower of mine. A Neviltis. It was a rarer one, it only blooms in the dark. I found it outside of the walls, it’s beautiful. My blood is all that feeds it, unlike the others. This plant almost always kills itself despite its beauty, just to have us live. I’ll make sure it doesn’t.