Chapter Text
Cass is the love of my life.
Okay, maybe that’s a little much to say, but she’s certainly very very important to me. We’ve known each other for forever, and I’ve been feeling all sappy about her for most of that time. She stole my heart and won’t give it back.
She’s not very nice to me, but that doesn’t really matter to me. I still have hope that it’s an act, and she really does like me, at least as a friend.
So that brings me to yesterday. We were taking a field trip with our photography club, and we ended up staying in a cheap motel, two to a room. I was lucky enough to be assigned to a room with Cass. Somehow, I usually manage to be with her for any sort of group thing.
I had ended up making mindless chatter while staring at her beautiful form, walking at her side to our room. As usual, she was full of scorn and nothing else.
“Do you ever stop talking? It’s just yap yap yap with you every time. And it’s almost like you follow me around,” she said. Each word she said seemed to carry no meaning, but they were beautiful nonetheless. Everything about her was, really.
Nevertheless, I made sure to force my lip to quaver a little, as if I was going to cry. Can’t be too obvious about how I feel, after all. And it made her all pitiful, too.
“Just… Let’s get to our room, okay?”
When she wasn’t being harsh, her voice was all the more angelic. I think my heart actually skipped a beat after that sentence, honestly.
I’m good at following her commands, so I quieted down for the rest of the short walk down the hall. I was currently disguising my enamored state by acting like I was thinking about our plans for the weekend.
It’s okay to reveal a little of how I feel, I think. So I ask her, “You really think that’s a coincidence? That we’re always together, I mean.” It got really difficult, for a second, to hold my thoughtful expression.
“Are you trying to say it isn’t?” she asked incredulously. “Who could possibly be conspiring to torture us?”
While I can’t say it didn’t hurt whenever she was so mean to me, her bullying was also magnetic, just like everything else about her.
As I tried to think of a response, we arrived at the locked door to the room. Cass produced a key and let me in, then followed me. I tried to shove all my luggage into the smallest possible area so they wouldn’t be too much of an annoyance for her.
And, wait for it, a miracle. There was only one bed. This is one of those situations you only ever read about.
I tried to be nonchalant, chewing on my lip to look anxious and mumbling, “So, um, only one bed. That might be awkward.” I looked at her. “Cass, what do we do?”
I try to use her name a lot because I read somewhere that it makes people like you more. I really wanted her to like me.
She had a plan for this eventuality, apparently. She bluntly, flatly stated, “I take the bed, and you take the floor. Go try to get some more bedding.”
I pouted, making a big show of it. Maybe she’d find it cute. It was nerve-wracking, but I found the nerve to quietly ask, “What if we shared the bed?”
Both of our faces colored quite a bit, blushes rising at the untoward question.
“Excuse you?” She loomed over me, which was easy for her since she was a few inches taller. It was really intimidating, leaving me feeling like a prey animal, or maybe a deer in headlights.
“It was just… a joke. I’m sorry.” I was feeling pretty bashful. I had, after all, just asked Cass — Cass — to sleep with me. She was right above me now, her face only a couple inches from mine.
“Oh, what, can’t handle it? And you’re the one who said you wanted to sleep with me.”
I’m pretty sure my face got even redder than before, which I wasn’t really aware was possible.
I kind of lost control of my body, stumbling back and onto the bed. Cass was glaring at me, but that also meant she was looking at me, which was both very exciting and very nerve wracking.
She seemed to hesitate, then remembered she needed to be mean to me. “We need to get to bed. Sleep on your luggage. I don’t care.” Won’t she ever just be nice to me for more than ten seconds?
“O-okay. Sorry.” I stuttered. I hate when I stutter, but somehow it’s not so bad when I’m talking to her.
That seemed to activate some kind of prey drive in her, as she tackled me back to the bed, pinning my wrists against it. My heart was beating so loud the whole motel must’ve been able to hear it.
“You want something to be sorry for?” she asked. “Be sorry for what we’re about to do.”
Oh God, this is it. This is the moment. She’s finally falling for me, or at least succumbing to lust.
At the worst possible time, an assistant professor cracked the door open. He surveyed the scene, made a decision, and forged ahead.
“I’m sorry, am I interrupting?” he asked softly.
I quickly blurted, “No!” I’m not sure why I did, but I did.
I was pretty sure it was over then, but Cass licked her lips like a wolf sizing up its meal, focusing on me.
Then everything was really ruined. She got up, letting go of me, and said, “Ugh. Just go.”
That just about broke my heart.
I started unpacking my bedding to hide my tears. But one last desperate bid might help.
“Cass?” She looked at me. “Will we ever happen?”
She looked at me with disgust and answered, “Never.”
That was that. Finality.
I couldn’t stop myself from letting the tears fall as I stared at her.
Her will broke, and she said, “Well, okay. If you make a barrier between us, you can sleep in the bed.”
Olive branch obtained. I grabbed on desperately, cheering up instantly.
Again, I tried for nonchalant, saying, “Hey, thanks. I really like spending time with you, Cassie.” That was a shot in the dark; I had no clue if she’d be okay with the extra familiar nickname.
She was not. “Don’t call me Cassie. It’s Cass, and you know it.”
But despite that, she seemed like she was almost hiding a smile.
Time for another shot in the dark. “What if we had special names for each other? It would be sweet, almost like we’re a couple.”
I waited for a second, but she didn’t respond.
“Hey, y’know they say that love and hate are next-door neighbors,” I stated.
“And how exactly is that relevant?” she scathingly asked.
“Well, I’d like to help you cross over from one doorstep to the other, if we’re to continue with that metaphor.”
“Ugh, shut up. I thought I told you to build that barrier.”
Jeez, I’m so fucked. I don’t know why I thought something so cheesy would work. Nonetheless, I couldn’t stand up to work on that barrier. I was busy getting lost in her perfect hazel eyes, studying the golden flecks scattered unevenly throughout.
She turned away from me, and I tapped her on her shoulder after waiting an endless second.
She rolled back over, asking harshly, “What the hell do you want?”
“I just wanted to see you. I missed you.” Inside thought, inside thought! What am I doing?
“You didn’t even wait one second before making me turn back around. How could you have missed me?”
“Well, you’re just so alluring. I can’t help it.” Fucking hell, my mouth needs to stop running and start consulting with my brain. It really just keeps going off on its own. I can’t even keep the grin off my face as I stare at her.
Fuck it, better capture this moment. I pulled a little camera from my pocket and snapped a photo. That pissed her off. But if I hadn’t, I might never have gotten what came next. The best moment of my life.
“Sarah. Do you really want this?”
“I do. Do you?” I will never give up hope.
“I don’t…” My heart fell. But then Cass continued, “I don’t know.”
“Are you gonna figure it out?”
“Maybe. Let’s see.”
Then she did something I never expected, hardly even dared to hope for. This wonderful woman pressed her lips to mine, carefully pulling me in, and the rest of the night is lost to my memory.