Chapter Text
Together Y/n and Ragatha walk down the living quarter hallway heading to a specific room.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Ragatha walked behind Y/n “I mean yesterday we had a bit of an argument and you did too but maybe we should give him a chance to take a break, you know?”
Y/n stopped, a bit annoyed. “No Ragatha, I don’t know. I barely know and this is the only way I will know. I need to talk to Jax and get things straight”
Ragatha sighed “I’m sorry, you’re right but I know how hard it is to actually talk to him.” She fidgets with her hands as she walks “He usually does this thing where you know something is wrong with him but he smiles and jokes like nothing. It’s kinda…eerie.”
Ragatha reaches her own door and y/n stands in front of Jax’s. Y/n laughs softly “Yeah I got a taste of that from yesterday’s adventure.”
Before Ragtha entered her room she smiled and gave a thumbs up for encouragement. “Good luck” closing the door behind her.
Y/n took a deep breath and let it out. She hadn’t realized how fast her heart was pounding. She hesitated but ultimately knocked. The door opened and revealed Jax visibly tired, he looks like he hasn’t slept in days. He notices Y/n, scowls and slams the door.
“No! Wait!” Y/n shouts. She stares at the door for a moment. Something in her mind felt like he was still there on the other side listening.
Y/n sighs “Don’t be mad at Ragtha please. I kept pushing to know what was going on, it’s my fault.” She giggled softly, “There’s another reason to be angry at me.” Y/n sits down and leans against the door. “I’m not sure what it means to abstract but I’m sorry that happened to your friend. I can’t imagine how you feel or what you think every time you see me. Jax please, if I’m going to be stuck in here forever with you at least give me the chance to start over. It’s not fair you’ve judged me before getting to know me. Please…let’s just talk”
Y/n hears the door knob turn, she jumps up from the floor.
“You want to talk? Fine…let’s talk” his voice sounded raspy and exhausted even though he was smiling. His smile alone felt so cold, she didn’t know if that was even possible.
Y/n cleared her throat. “Is there any way I can help you or if it’s more than just my appearance and I did something wrong, maybe I can make it up to you”
Jax leans on the door frame “You just exist and you exist with that look and that…” he gestures his hand in a circle motion, trying to think properly. “…voice” He turns, facing his back toward Y/n “So no, there’s nothing you can do. There’s your talk, now leave me alone.” He closed the door from behind but it didn’t shut. A foot stuck in the middle, stopping the door from closing.
Y/n takes a step forward and into Jax’s room. “My voice?? What do you mean by my voice? What problem do you have with how I sound?” She does her best to keep her composure.
Jax groans “Get out”
Y/n takes a step further into the room “No. Not until you tell me what’s wrong with my voice.”
He massages his head like he did in the past adventure but more aggressively.
“Is it the way I talk?” Y/n eyes express sincerity.
He shouts “$@#%! Shut up!”
Y/n gets louder “No! I'm gonna stop talking Jax! If this is the way to finally get you to talk so be it, Jax”
Jax holds his ears down so he can't hear much other than a slight muffle. “Stop saying my name. Stop saying my name” he hissed under his breath, panicky.
Y/n inches away from him “JAX!” She yelled
“YOU HAVE HER VOICE!” He snaps. Y/n can see him holding back tears. His smile fades, revealing his true emotion. Exhausted, distressed, and full of sorrow “You sound so much like her…” He falls onto the floor and sits. He stares blankly at Y/n's direction but once again it doesn’t seem like he’s looking at her but far past her. “You look, sound, and talk like her. Sometimes I feel like it is you…Nora.” He looks down at his hands, remembering moments he had with her. He glances back at Y/n with a weak fake smile on his face again “There. Is that what you wanted?”
Y/n sits next to him in the silence. She sighs “Jax, I only want to make things right between us so if talking about this would make you feel better towards me. Shouldn't we give it a shot?”
“Talk about what?” He asked, annoyed.
Y/n glances at her hands in her lap before looking back at him. “Nora? Maybe try to describe her to me? Or how you two became close friends-”
“No” Jax cuts her off. “I don’t ever want to talk about her, especially to you” He lifts himself up from the ground and walks to the door.
Y/n gets up, confused and quite upset. “W-What? You know for someone who was supposed to be her friend, you seem very irritated by the thought of her”
Jax ear twitched and his back facing y/n “Get out”
“What? Am I wrong?” Y/n exclaimed
Jax voice got louder “Get out”
“I am the “thought of her” and this is how you treat it. Would she have liked the way her friend was acting towards her? Full of hatred and anger. No one deserves this, she wouldn’t want this behavior from you!” Y/n walks towards Jax.
He turns around and shoves his finger in her face angry “How would you know?! You’re not Nora. You’ve never met her!”
“Sure I’ve never met her, but I think she would be a decent person and she definitely doesn't deserve to be a hard topic for you to talk about.” Y/n walks out of his room leaving Jax alone with his thoughts.
Jax watched y/n disappear from view. He closed the door and he was alone once more.
This was out of “character” for him, he thought. He’s supposed to be the funny one, the one that doesn’t care. Since she arrived everything has changed. When he saw her there with Caine he believed for a second he saw her again. Jax laid down on his bed, his face sinking deep into the pillows. Only her voice echoed in his mind, making him groan and grit his teeth. Trying to get rid of his pain, feelings, and a pounding headache.
This feeling seemed to bother him so much, he ripped the pillows apart. The room flooded with feathers that looked like they were falling in slow motion. Filled with anger he grabbed a hold of a stool and smashed it against the floor. One of the legs was intact and continued to use his room as a rage room. He used the leg as a bat swinging, smashing, throwing, and kicking every single piece of furniture in his room. Till he was finally exhausted. Hunched over, panting, and trying to collect his thoughts. He glanced over to a tall full body mirror. He stared into it, into himself. He didn’t like what he was looking at. A cartoon rabbit stared back, it looked tired, angry, and most of all alone.
He got closer to the reflection “What are you staring at?” He spoke through his teeth. “You never deserved her…she’s gone because of you…and now you’re all alone” Tears showed in his eyes. He closes his eyes shut to prevent the tears from escaping but they do anyway. “She’s gone...because of me”. His fist clenched tightly.
He punched the mirror and shards of glass fell onto the floor and so did he. His tears flooded his eyes, finally releasing and feeling the grief all over again.
The room shook for a moment. Jax looked up and around the wrecked room to find it back to its original form. Suppose that’s the best part about living in a digital world.