Chapter Text
GENJI: and that's when he stabbed me
D.VA: no shit?!
GENJI: absolutely serious
D.VA: dude
D.VA: not cool
HANZO: Why are we still talking about this.
ANA: it's funny shit
GENJI: rude
ANA: what
ANA: your suffering amuses me
MERCY: If you'd seen the state he was in afterwards, I doubt you'd have the same outlook.
GENJI: lol yeah
GENJI: i was all 'look at me i have no limbs'
MERCY: Actually, you were unable to speak.
MERCY: And you were crying.
ANA: pussy
GENJI: say what you want
GENJI: you're not a cyborg ninja
ANA: shit u right
[REINHARDT] joined [WHO THE FUCK TOOK IT I SWEAR TO FUCK]
REINHARDT: oh shit a chat room
REINHARDT: since when did we have a chat room?
LUCIO: since junkrat stole hana's mountain dew
LUCIO: and she put everyone here to interrogate them
REINHARDT: well that explains the chat name
GENJI: i think we should keep the chat though
ANA: i agree with robocop
GENJI: scuse me
D.VA: having an overwatch chat would be fun
HANZO: Would it.
GENJI: Hanzo.
HANZO: Genji.
GENJI: Handsoap.
HANZO: No.
REINHARDT: ...anyway
REINHARDT: an overwatch group chat would be AWESOME
SYMMETRA: It would certainly be useful for quickly exchanging information.
ANA: i think you mean it would be dank as fuck
SYMMETRA: Phrase it how it pleases you.
WINSTON: ytyou dop laflk rreal;sie ahst tship wiaoil emnsd imn diasaetate
GENJI: what
MCCREE: woah there
ANA: u ok harambe
ANA: what's that? you've been shot?
[D.VA] pinned the message [WINSTON: ytyou dop laflk rreal;sie ahst tship wiaoil emnsd imn diasaetate]
WINSTON: My apologies.
WINSTON: I was practising with a normal keyboard. I meant to say
WINSTON: You do all realise that this will end in disaster?
ANA: if i didn't realise that i wouldn't be encouraging the group chat
REINHARDT: personally i just want to watch Genji and Hanzo argue
LUCIO: it can be quite entertaining...
D.VA: you're goddamn fucking RIGHT
76: Language
D.VA: jesus dad do you just have a sixth sense for swearing
76: Don't call me that, Hana.
LUCIO: dad
GENJI: dad
MCCREE: dad
76: Stop
TRACER: dad
ANA: dad
REINHARDT: dad
76: Ana and Reinhardt, you're both older than me
ANA: pensionersayswhat
[GENJI] renamed the chat to [Jack's children]
MERCY: What even is Overwatch
76: It defies explanation.
[PHARAH] joined [Jack's children]
MERCY: Good afternoon Fareeha :)
PHARAH: To you too Angela :)
ANA: oh boy
PHARAH: Hello mother.
ANA: waddup bbygirl
PHARAH: Hello to everyone else, too
GENJI: yo
76: Hey.
HANZO: Greetings.
D.VA: WHAT
D.VA: THE
D.VA: FUCK
D.VA: IS
D.VA: UP!!
LUCIO: chill
D.VA: bite me
LUCIO: is that optional
ANA: children
ANA: shut the fuck up lol
D.VA: rude
MERCY: How's your leg, Fareeha?
PHARAH: Quite sore
PHARAH: But much better thanks to you :)
GENJI: so subtle
D.VA: what happened to your leg?
PHARAH: I got hit
PHARAH: By one of Hanzo's scatter arrows...
HANZO: What
ANA: is that so
GENJI: brother
HANZO: Brother.
GENJI: was it not enough that you murdered me
GENJI: now you want to murder Fareeha too
HANZO: My apologies; it was an unexpected outcome. The trajectory of the scatter arrows is unpredictable.
HANZO: Also I did not murder you. I simply attempted to.
GENJI: oh ok that's fine then
[ANA] went idle.
MCCREE: oh boy
MERCY: Uh oh
HANZO: What.
GENJI: i could stop this
GENJI: but i won't
TRACER: good luck hanzo. Someone threw a stone at Fareeha once and Ana broke their legs.
PHARAH: Twice.
TRACER: TWICE
D.VA: gg hanzo
[HANZO] went idle.
GENJI: lol
MEI: will she hurt him? :'(
REINHARDT: undoubtedly
MCCREE: he'll probably survive though
[HANZO] is no longer idle.
HANZO: HEY I'M HANZO AND I KILLED MY BROTHER FOR POWER
GENJI: me too thanks
PHARAH: Oh lord
HANZO: SIMPLE GEOMETRY
HANZO: THE DRAGON HUNGERS
HANZO: RYUGA BOOGABOOGABOOGABOOGA
GENJI: accurate
MERCY: Ana, don't hurt him unreasonably. Remember it was an accident.
HANZO: I know lol
HANZO: I just sleepdarted him and I'm going through his search history
D.VA: TELL US EVERYTHING
LUCIO: EVERYTHING
GENJI: EVERYTHING
SYMMETRA: I am intrigued.
D.VA: wait for real?
SYMMETRA: Of course.
D.VA: i don't even know what to think of that
HANZO: oh
HANZO: my
HANZO: FUCK
GENJI: what is it? hentai?
HANZO:
GENJI: What
GENJI: explain this
HANZO:
LUCIO: what
HANZO: HIS COMPUTER IS JUST FULL OF THESE
HANZO: HE'S JUST BEEN JUDGING US ALL AND MAKING MEMES ABOUT US
D.VA: omg
GENJI: somehow i'm proud
HANZO: same actually
SYMMETRA: That was unexpected.
HANZO: shit he waking up
HANZO: time to SKEDADDLE
PHARAH: Mother
GENJI: I love overwatch
D.VA: it's beautiful
MERCY: To be honest, with all that's already happened in this chat...
MERCY: I don't think anything else will even surprise me.
[SOMBRA] has entered [Jack's children]
SOMBRA: Lol