Chapter Text
Phil buried his head in his hands and groaned. He ripped the sheet from the wall, teared it in half and threw the little pieces in the nearest bin.
It was the fourth time he'd had to see that picture, printed out multiple times and stuck to his desk, Dan's desk, and the office walls. It was a screenshot of their video—it'd gone up to the Buzzfeed channel a few hours before—specifically the part Dan filmed them in bed after sex. Phil was naked, barely covered by a thin blanket, and looked completely debauched and tired out for the world to see.
He wished he had tried to have some more control over the final product, because Dan had essentially ruined his reputation of being almost a saint, both among his fans and coworkers.
Phil looked up from the floor just in time to stumble on someone. Great. He was running face first into people who had seen his post-sex expression… Then he noticed it was Dan, who not only had seen his post-sex expression on video, but also in real life.
“Hey,” Dan chuckled. He wrapped his arms around his waist and Phil found he didn't mind his touch at all. “Enjoying our newfound popularity in the office?”
“Not only in the office,” Phil said and grimaced. “Did you see this?” He pulled out his phone and typed something. Then he showed Dan a tweet.
BuzzFeed France @BuzzFeedFrance
Congratulations to our brit friends @danisnotonfire & @AmazingPhil on getting laid! Love really does win…
It was complete with a gif of Sherlock knowingly smirking at the camera. Dan laughed.
“News travel fast, you know. Actually, the Brazil guys just tweeted me, which is why I came after you. I want to tweet a couple selfie back at them.”
Phil's heart fluttered at the word “couple” but he was determined not to let it show. He sneaked closer to Dan and stayed still as he snapped a photo of them, uncharacteristically curling up into each other's touch.
“Hang on, how do you say thank you in Portuguese again?” Dan asked.
“I think it's like, gracias,” said Phil. Truth was he had no idea, as his English was already rusty since he graduated, let alone his horrible knowledge of other languages.
“That's Spanish, you spork. Nevermind, I'll just use Google translate. You're useless.”
Phil put on his best exaggerated pout. “Am I really? Alright, I'll just leave now.”
“Of course you aren't,” Dan said. He pressed a kiss to the top of Phil's head and smiled. “If you were useless, we wouldn't be married.”
“Oh, we're married now, are we?” Phil teased. “Didn't know we'd made it official. This is the most backwards relationship I've ever been in.”
“We did get married. The entirety of the office clapping and whistling at us the moment we came in was the ceremony.”
“Speaking of which, they hate me. All of them. Everywhere I go there's a damn screenshot, pardon my language, of me. In bed. After sex. Why did I let you edit this?” He whined.
Dan giggled. Phil tried not to swoon when he noticed Dan had picked up his own habit of covering his mouth whenever he laughed.
-
The last suitcase hit the floor with a loud thud and Phil wiped the sweat off his forehead. This was tiring and he hadn't properly thought the logistics through, but it was worth it. Dan sat on the floor and sighed. The enamoured look he shot at Phil was heartwarming.
“Okay, let's get unpacking these bags, should we?” Phil said. “Jeez, how many things do you own? Why do you need all of this?”
Dan raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Should've thought this through before asking me to move in, babe.”