Chapter Text
But I continue away until I get it together…
Some women have a body men will want to see
So they put it on display,
Some people play a fine guitar,
I could listen to them play all day,
But anyway, I'm trying to tell my story
-
Nothing could have prepared Lance for this, the shock that rang through his very being, it rattled his bones, the groaning and crunching of metal, the dirt that filled the cabin and smacked him in the face as they skidded across the unforgiving ground at full speed, every metre ripping part of her away, killing her in an unceremonious ending. When they finally stopped, everything was quiet. But Lance wasn't. He only dared to open his puffy eyes when the alarms stopped ringing in his ear, and the last light of the cabin died away with her.
“Blue?”
He choked, biting his lip. He was so used to her presence in his mind, always there, always gentle and comforting. It was gone. Steam gushed from the walls around him and when he looked around, the cabin was almost unrecognisable, it was caved in, all the drawers popped open, and it was dark, oil slicked on the floor and wiring hanging exposed from the ceiling. Just the sight made him tremble. Lance lightly ran a hand over her dashboard, it wasn't alive anymore, it was just a husk, without her.
“Blue...oh, Blue.”
He sniffed and wiped his face with his wrist, trying to keep his pained breathing and sobs down. She was gone, but he was still here. What hurt even more, was that she went quietly. For something so full of life and pride, she didn't even scream or cry out as she rocketed into the hard face of the planet. It shouldn't be like this, they should never have come here, he should never have found her so long ago, then she might still be alive.
“B-Blue, I'm sorry...I-I'm so, so sorry.”
Lance slumped forwards and collapsed against the dashboard, his arms wrapped around the console as he sobbed into it, ignoring the pain that stabbed into him with every hiccup, cry and shake, ignoring the fact that his tears were getting into the cracks and dips of the console. Lance was alone, he was so, so alone.
How long had he been out for? Minutes? Hours? Days? It didn't matter anymore. Lance blearily opened his eyes, and then cried out in pain as he slumped back against the ground, pain shot up from his legs, and he could barely move them. Lance could barely breathe, it was like a weight was sitting on his chest, suffocating him. He had to get out of here, he couldn't bare the thought of staying inside Blue's husk. Not without her in it. Lance propped himself up with his elbows, and tried to reach for his bayard. If he was getting out of here, he needed his only source of protection. The action made him grit his teeth and cringe. His hand was bloody with a burn on the back of it that was raw and red, and his fingers shook and trembled. A slash that ran from his temple to his cheek stung and bled as he moved his jaw, the red rolling down his neck. Lance gave himself a quick run down: there was nothing penetrating through his torso at least, but his legs...he couldn't even bring himself to look at them without wincing. Even through the armour, he could tell that his legs were misshapen and bent at awkward angles, and he could feel something sticking out from his foot. This was bad. This was really, really bad. He let himself fall back, and reached above him for the contents in the drawer that was popped out, that had Coran's bag that contained everything of his. Blue landed at an awkward angle, so her maw was open just enough for him to crawl out, but even that would be a challenge. Lance gritted his teeth and pushed himself using his arms.
“ Fuck...no, hnng…”
He clenched his eyes as his arms forced himself forwards, towards the opening. There was a drop from that to the ground. If he could just reach out, he could hang for a bit, then get the boosters on his back to lower himself to the ground. It seemed good enough. But he checked his comm first.
“Th-this is Lance Fuentes...Blue, B-Blue, she...p-please...just come find me.”
Lance's voice shook and trembled, and he had to stop the message before he burst out into tears again. Lance kept pulling himself forward, digging his fingers into the bends in the metal, as much as he hated it, using the torn metal along the walls as hand holds, pushing his mangled body until his torso was hanging out from the small crawlspace. Lance stretched his arms up to grab onto the edge of her maw, and biting his lip to not scream or cry out, he pulled his legs out, and he bit down on his lip so hard a metallic taste filled his mouth. He had done step one, hang on an angle, now for step two. The boosters on his back activated with a command grunted out and he sluggishly allowed himself to slide down the cool metal. Once his feet touched the ground, he shrieked and let himself fall into a crumpled heap, leaning against her maw. Lance took a deep breath and bite onto the strap of the bag, pushing himself out of Blue's jaws, using the boosters to gently push him, as well as digging his fingers into the dirt until his nails were split and cracked. Once he was a few feet away, he could bring himself to rest, lying with his cheek pressed against the ground, blood and dirt caking in his hair, his muscles burning and his chest aching. He wanted to be as far away from Blue's...body, as he could, but he didn't want to leave her there either. This distance was good, not great, but good enough. As good as good can be in a situation like this. It took a while for his heartbeat to become even and slow, and even longer for the constant buzzing in his head to stop. Lance wasn't sure when he blacked out, a cocktail of pain, sadness and stress knocking him out cold.
What Lance knew:
1) He was on a planet in the Angoria Rispa galaxy
2) His legs were severely broken, and not even that miracle liquid helped it much
3) He was alone
Lance counted what he knew on his fingers (he could almost hear Coran saying “ it's more of an art than a science, really” ) and stayed in one spot the whole time. Exhausted and in great pain, physically and internally, he could barely move an inch without crying out. The air at least was breathable, and the sun was warm against his back, but the entire planet seemed to be made of the red gravel and dirt, like something out of Star Wars. When Lance peeled his boots off, one foot had a dead white bone sticking out of his ankle like an icicle. He puked to his side at the sight, even though he had barely anything in his stomach. With the gauze, the circulation in his legs was staunched a little by tying the fabric around the base of his thighs, but it didn't stop the fever that broke his forehead, that sweltered him into a sweat and left him gasping for air and water as his throat felt like dry sand. Even so, he still found himself talking to Blue. It was like talking down to a grave, comforting in the least, and it got a lot off his mind.
“Blue...am I gonna die here?”
Lance sniffed and lifted his head up to get a better look at her, but the motion made him see stars as blood rushed to his head, and he laid back down instead.
“Wouldn’t it be fittin’...if we died out here...together? Cliche, but it would be, right? Right Blue?”
No. She would want him to fight through this, until he was safe and sound. With every passing hour, a little bit of hope slipped from his fingers. He left the comm on at all times, for someone to hear him and pick him up, but also to record what could be his final moments.
“Blue...wake me up in the mornin’.”
It was still in the afternoon, but Lance was exhausted. He swallowed drily and let sleep take over.
It was the smell that woke him. Foul, sickly, and it burnt his nostrils like gasoline. Lance looked down, and almost gagged at the sight. Infection. His legs were still misshapen, but there was no mistaking the redness around his destroyed foot, and the greenish yellow pus that oozed from the wound and dribble down the bone. If the injury did not kill you, the infection probably would. The burn on his hand had blistered into a yellow bubble the size of a golfball. If help didn't come soon, he probably would die out here. Lance pressed the comm button again.
“Th-this is Lance...Lance Fuentes.”
He needed to tell them what he wanted done with him.
“I-I’m situated in th’ Angoria Rispa galaxy, w-we crashed and...and B-Blue is gone, she’s dead. She...she did it to avoid capture from Zarkon...and I-I’m not too g-good either...guys, i-if anyone’s hearin’ this, if I w-were to die...please, bring my body back to Earth...I love you guys, y-you’re my family...be strong, please...jus' find us.”
Lance sniffed and turned it off when his voice got too strained and frantic, he didn't want them to panic too much if they indeed got his message. He may never see them again. And he loved them like he loved Blue. If he were to die here, he wasn't even sure if he wanted them to pick up him and Blues' bodies, mangled bone and flesh, torn and ripped metal, that would surely crumble to dust if they were to even touch them. Lance shuddered at the thought. He sighed and stared up at the sky, it was early in the morning, and the deep blue sky was starting to lighten up a jade green, like the Altean sky in Blue's dreams, and the stars were scattered and littered over the sky, shining in ripples of colour that reached far beyond the horizon. The soft early rays of dawn glistened off Blue's metal, silhouetting her gigantic crippled shape against the horizon. If there was one thing he could do, he could smile at the sight. Beautiful and vast, and it reminded him of Blue. Lance stared until the dawn broke through and the stars stopped shining.
Corans bag had enough cotton pads and tape in the first aid kit, enough for him to dab a few drops of the miracle liquid onto the gash on his face, and patch it up as best as he could without wincing. He did a pretty good job, considering that he didn't have a mirror or anything to help him see it, and with his spit on his fingers, he wiped and peeled away the dried blood that crusted around his neck and the notch where his collarbones met. A few drops of the miracle liquid on his burnt hand helped the swelling, and it couldn't hurt for him to pry off the armour encasing his legs. He was terribly wrong. It hurt. A lot . Lance winced and cried out, the split in his bottom lip splitting open again as his lip trembled.
“Fuckin'...hah, jesus...nnng.”
Lance's breathy moans only alerted him how exhausted his body was. For all odds, he should have been dead, it was impossible for him to survive a crash at that speed into solid ground. But he was not dead, he was still breathing, but a part of him wished he wasn't.
“Okay...okay, okay, okay.”
Lance gulped and threw his head back. He just needed to peel away his leggings to take a look at the damage, and they were all crusted with blood and pus, it would be better for them to be rolled up. Lance took a roll of gauze and bit on his hard to muffle his screams, as he took the hems of his leggings and pulled them up, his heart racing and adrenaline flooding his veins. Once one leg was painstakingly pulled up to his mid thigh, did he allow himself to look. This was amputation level bad. There were knobs of bone pressing against his skin, and his kneecap looked to be shattered. A splinter of thighbone was sticking out from the top of his knee like a needle, and the skin was bruised, swollen, and heavily infected, the veins running a sickening green, the fact that he could even see his veins through his brown skin, terrified him to his core. Lance bit harder onto the gauze, wincing as he dropped the miracle liquid onto the exposed flesh, and his stomach lurched as runny pus oozed out of it and over his skin. The sheer pain made his vision blur and lights dance before his eyes. One leg was enough, Lance was sure that if he were to do the other one, he would black out.
“Fuck...did it. Blue, I did it.”
He gasped and laid back down, it was a small victory. The only problem, the heat was really getting to him, and it made him sweat more than his fever was. Blue's body had overhangs of shade, and she could provide shelter to the wind and sun. Lance was still in pain, but i was a lot more bearable, and he could probably crawl over to her head, where a third of it was run into the ground, but could provide shade. Her paw was on it's side, curled around slightly, next to her head, so he could get shade and shelter from both sides. How she still protected him. Lance didn't want to stay near her metallic corpse, but he had no choice here. Even the angels above couldn't hear him from here. So he rolled over onto his side, still with the gauze grit between his teeth, and with his broken nails digging into the Earth, he pushed and pulled himself sluggishly towards her, careful not to move or jolt his shattered legs, and after several ticks, he finally found himself resting against the inside of her paw, the bag to his side. Lance gasped and felt himself go slack. A small piece of shade, and it made this day so much easier. His head throbbed, his legs too, but it was cool. He took a few sips of water, and he didn't even care that it stung his lip. Lance brought his hand up to the beads around his neck, clutching them weakly, and rubbing his fingers over the grainy mahogany red wood. This was so much like the Island, but without the water, without the life and trees. What he would have given for them to be on the island right now, alive, surrounded by life and resources, they would have been happy. Exploring by day, walking through each other's dreams by night. The memories made his heart pang in his chest, and a lump settled in his throat. He watched the sun drip into the horizon.
“Blue? What if I die here? I haven't heard them...haven't seen them...they might be in the same situation as us.”
The stubborn lump stayed in his throat, and his heart raced, and his body grew hotter and hotter, and he couldn't tell if it was sweat or tears running down his face. When the stars came back, they felt lonelier than ever, and seemed just so far away.
He did nothing else that night, until the sky was entirely dark blue. Then everything happened.
Just as Lance felt his body sinking into sleep, his comm fizzed and crackled.
“-ance? I can't---'uddy, you there?”
Lance felt his heart drop. The voice was buzzing in and out of static, but he recognised the voice. Lance hissed and pressed the comm button again. Never in his life had been more happy to hear Hunk's voice.
“Hunk! I-I'm here! I'm here, Hunk!”
The line crackled as more voices filled his head.
“Lance! Than--god!”
Shiro.
“Omigosh omigosh omigos----we thought you wer---”
Pidge.
He heard someone crying on the other side, and that was Keith.
“Jesus christ---missed you, Lance.”
Lance felt his lip trembling again, hearing Keith, stubborn broody Keith, openly crying over the comm where everyone could hear him.
“Yeah, I missed all of you too.”
Lance sobbed, his voice barely a whisper.
“We're on our way--think you can hang on---couple more hours?”
Shiro asked him, worry laced into his voice and Lance could tell that he was also on the verge of crying too.
“Yeah, I got time.”
He lied. He might not even have minutes.
“We got your message---what happened?”
That was Hunk. Lance could barely bring his lips to curve and form words and his tongue felt heavy.
“I...don't...Blue, she's gone, but she's here with me.”
He choked out. The line was silent for what felt like a long time.
“Lance...are you okay?”
Pidge's voice wavered. Lance sniffed and his jaw quivered.
“No.”
He gulped and sniffed, it felt horrible, crying out into the comm, making them worried.
“Allura is with us, don't worry, we're here soon.”
Not soon enough, probably.
“Thank you. Please...help us.”
He switched the comm off and rested his shaking hand on Blue's claw, gripping the metal weakly, until he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer.
“...Blue.”
He murmured, as his eyes shot up towards the stars and blacked out.
Music. Music was what woke him up. Long, sad voices, all entwining together in perfect harmony, mournful and raw. It sent a chill running through him, and his eyes opened drowsily. He was on his stomach, barely breathing, as lights dazed him, and his vision was so blurred, but he could make out the castle, barely, and the singing grew louder, drawing him back into the world. Four blurry figures ran towards him, they were yelling, screaming, saying something, whatever it was, he couldn't hear them, couldn't make out their words. But two pairs of strong hands turned him over, and they were lifting them, cradling his frail body, taking him away from Blue.
They were taking him away from Blue.
“Blue...Blue.”
He murmured, holding a hand out for her, the mournful song in his head growing louder.
“Shhh, Lance, it's okay, it's okay-"
“ NO! It's not! We-we gotta take her, we can't leave her here! Please, no! Blue!”
Lance thrashed his body, ignoring the pain that shredded his veins, his arm weakly reaching out to her, no, he couldn't leave her, he promised, after all they've gone through, he wasn't okay with this, he wasn't, he wasn't, he wasn't. Lance screamed and sobbed, hiccuping and choking out the words, pushing against the chest of whoever was holding him.
“Blue! No, please! We gotta take her, she's all alone I-I gotta be with her! Let me go! Please!”
They were silent, and Lance stopped fighting back against them, he was too weak.
“Please...no…Blue”
He whimpered, as his vision flickered and blurred as he was dragged away from her twisted body, in the darkness of the early morning, his eyes spewed out tears, and he stared helplessly at her, until the Castle's doors opened and she was gone, far from him.
“Blue.”
He whispered before passing out again, ignoring the frantic cries around him, and the voices singing inside his head grew louder.
-
Janis Ian told it very well,
Janis Joplin told it even better,
Billie Holiday, even told it even better,
We always, we always,
We always have a story
-
Those voices. He had heard them. Lance heard them before. When was it? Oh, yes, when he was finally found. How long ago was it? How was Blue? Where was he? He found himself in pure darkness. The singing...it filled his head, and it was coming from in front of him. Drawn to it, he started running, running towards the ethereal voices, their individual voices and notes all coming together to blend into one shrill, enchanting sound. At once, it was like someone had turned on the lights, and wind blew all around him, tussling his hair, whipping his face, and grass was pressed underneath his bare feet. He'd been here before, the grass, the blue and green sky, the endless rolling yellow hills, the stars that shone so brightly he could reach out and hold them. These were Blue's moors. All the voices echoed around him, and he was surrounded by lions, those beautiful, beautiful Altean lions. They were like Blue, but green, yellow, red and black, and he was standing in the middle of them, them towering above him, their heart-wrenching voices singing to the sky. Their song slowly faded, and all was silent. Then they all looked down at him. They weren't angry, no, they appeared sad. They were just like the way she described them, Red and Green, or rather, Donoma and Abetyu, were smaller and more lithe, Yellow, or Maka, had her jaw crooked, and was was as big as Blue, and Black, Winema, was the largest, but she had two large crimson wings, that encompassed them. Winema crouched down in front of Lance, he was barely up to her nose.
“You miss her too.”
She blinked in response, and the others all crouched down to the ground, lying all amongst each other.
“As do you.”
Winema had a low voice, like a bow along the strings of a cello.
“I'm sorry, I'm-"
“No, you do not have to be sorry.” It was Donoma that spoke, her voice husky, like Keith's. She purred and rested her head next to him. “She knew what she was doing, and she knew what she had to do, and what did she do? She did it.”
Maka curled around Lance's back, and he allowed himself to lean into her downy flank. “We're proud of you, and all we know, is that she is too.” Maka nudged his arm with her nose, breathing warm air into his face.
“So...what'll become of me now?”
The lions were silent.
“We are not certain, you have to find that out for yourself.” Abetyu comforted, joining Maka in the pile of bodies, licking her paw.
“But she's gone, and you know this, what will happen to Voltron? To this whole alien destiny shitshow that somehow...that somehow I became apart of. I was never fit for Blue, but she chose me anyway, why?”
His voice wavered and faltered. Winema sighed and stared at him directly, her large yellow eyes staring into his.
“Do you what Blue stood for?”
Allura was going to tell him, many months ago, but he just had to cut her off.
“No, I was being an idiot at the time.”
He thought she was crying, but she was laughing, a low sound that reverberated through him.
“One thing she stood for was promise. She looked at you in that cave, and she saw someone who had a future ahead of them, someone who could do great things, someone who, yes, may not be the best, but they would be the best. That's what she saw in you, she saw a fighter, Lance, and she chose you.”
All his life, he was being told by others just how lucky he was for things to happen to him, how he shouldn't have deserved them, getting into the Garrison, becoming a pilot, being born. Being told he was something, it was too much.
“Little one, don't cry.” Winema pleaded back.
Lance dipped his head and wiped his eyes. Out of everything to happen in his short life, Blue was one of the best.
“I'm sorry...what if she was wrong?”
“She wasn't, just look at yourself, you've already gone further than most humans have, you already have shown yourself worthy, and you've just travelled half the universe in an alien warship, surviving together against all odds, how beautifully magnificent is that? We would like to thank you, for keeping her happy.”
Lance weakly smiled at that, rubbing his eyes, but still staring at the ground. Abetyu licked the top of his head, and Donoma rubbed her nose against his arm.
“The others will be waiting for you, but for now, celebrate her life with us, you are a part of us, after all.”
The lions all curled around him, sharing their warmth and love, and he leaned back to stare at the stars one more time. Their song resumed, angelic and haunting, singing in a language he would never learn. How strange the sound. It was like gravity, drawing him in, like a lullaby.
Lance didn't want to go.
~
The glass of the healing pod crumbled and flaked off, and air filled Lance's lungs. His legs felt like goop, and his head felt light.
“...Blue.” He murmured and fell forwards.
“Lance!”
A pair of arms caught him and straightened him up. Lances vision spun for a bit, and then righted itself up.
“Sh-Shiro?” Lance was grateful he was here. It was dark, and he was in the healing chambers. Feeling returned to his legs, and he managed to stand up. “Couldn't sleep?”
Shiro shook his head, then pulled him in for a hug. It was nice, human contact, and Lance leaned into his chest and tried to wrap his thin arms around him.
“It's been three weeks.” Three weeks? When he almost got blown apart, he only spent five minutes inside the pod. “You...you really had us worried there, you wouldn't stop screaming, crying...god, it's good to have you back.”
Shiro's voice wavered and he held Lance's frail body closer.
“Can you hear the singing?”
The singing was still in his head, quieter, but it still persisted.
“Not anymore.”
Oh, he was the only one.
“Where's Blue?”
Shiro gulped, but didn't say anything.
“Shiro, where's Blue?”
He felt the man sigh, then break out of the embrace.
“You shouldn't, it's pretty bad.”
“She's already gone, I just wanna pay some respect.”
He nodded in understanding eventually.
“She's not in the hangars, but I can show you where.”
The door slid open, and Lance prepared himself for the sight. He felt nothing. Blue's head was pointed towards them, parts of her lying around the room, almost untouched as when she crashed. Dirt and grime cake her metal, giving it a rusted look. Lance stepped forwards and rested against her nose, hugging her, even though his arms couldn't reach around. He found himself staring into the space between those eyes.
“We'll meet again, in some other life...I promise.”
He whispered and kissed the metal before heaving himself off.
“That's all?”
“Anythin' else I needa do?”
“...not really.”
Lance took one last glance at her before the door closed behind them.
Him and Shiro found themselves in the kitchen. Food goo never tasted so good.
“What went on out there?”
“You first.”
Shiro looked taken aback for a brief second.
“Me and Keith crashed together, on a Galra controlled planet. We were okay though, and we managed to escape. It took about two days flying East until we found Hunk, who was already making a name for himself on an inhabited planet. Pidge found us a week later, she was shaken, but relieved. It was then Allura was able to locate us. We couldnt find you though, believe me, basically turned the galaxy upside down. We gained some hope though, a hermit on a planet, cant remember the name, had said he had seen you two weeks before, and you were heading to Zafrani. We were obviously too late. We were barely there when Hunk detected a distress beacon from Blue. Did you set it off?” Blue must have, he definitely didnt do it. Lance shook his head. “Well, we found it, but it didn't look too good. On the edge of the galaxy, we got your messages-"
“All of them?”
Shiro nodded.
“And you didn't sound too good either, we took out a few Galra fleets before we found you and Blue. We thought you were dead.” Shiro bit his lip. “Honestly, you were so...so...I can't even say it, but honestly? We thought it was a body pick up.”
“For Blue it was.”
Lance added bitterly. He stared down at the green goop and saw his own reflection staring back at him, hollow and drowsy.
“What makes you say she's dead?”
At least Shiro was a good listener, and wouldn't call him crazy.
“I would...but I would like to tell everyone, it's a long story.”
Shiro smiled softly, ever so understanding and respectful.
“Where did you get those beads from, anyway?”
He was still wearing them? Lance reached up and touched them again.
“I got them from Blue. I dunno how she did it, we were dreamin', an' she was with me, on Earth, we were at home, in Cuba, doin' silly things, eatin' fruit an' ice-cream, visitin' family, and I got her some beads in my dream, woke up, and I was holdin' them.”
Lance clutched them closer to him.
“You must think I'm crazy.”
“What? No, that's beautiful.” Lance didn't look back up at him. “Did Winema ever talk to you?”
Shiro gave him a look of confusion. “I'm sorry, who?”
Lance guilty looked back down.
“Tell you guys in the mornin', I'm tired.”
“The others are still asleep, see you in the mornin'?” Shiro got up and pushed his chair in.
“Yeah, oh and Shiro?”
“Yes?”
Lance hesitated, he didn't think his words through, but he had to say what hes been wanting to say for a while. “I just wanna say thanks, thanks for puttin' up with me, sorry for actin' like a dick to you since I got out o' the pod, you honestly don't deserve to be treated like shit. You're like a second dad to me, and...I never got to thank you for that. I mean, you've listened to my bullshit, you've always given me good advice I almost never listen to and a shoulder to lean on, and I guess...I guess I never really said thanks.”
The older man seemed frozen, not expecting Lance's confession, but then he gifted him a reassuring smile.
“Thank you, and I guess I could say...thanks for being like a son to me.”
Lance half smiled, Shiro leaving through the door with a thumbs up.
Lance never remembered his heartbeat being this slow.
When he got up in the morning, the first thing he did was stare into the en-suite mirror. He had no idea what to expect, his eyes were sunken in more than the last time he looked, and he looked hollow, and his skin was darker, and he had more freckles that splattered his nose and cheekbones, and a long bumpy pale peach scar ran from his temple to the hollow of his cheek. Lance didn't feel anything when he stared at his reflection in the first time for what felt like forever, instead, he felt as hollow as he looked. He went into the unknown, and came back changed. Of course he was gonna look different. He sighed and pulled on his jeans, which were folded neatly in the drawer of his wardrobe, and a teal blue tank top that was folded underneath it. Corans bag was on his bed, just as he left it, and the flower seeds from the island were still in their pocket, as well as the mango stone. He took the mango stone and slipped it into his pocket. When he pressed the door plate, everyone was waiting outside his door. It took two seconds for it to click in for them, standing frozen just looking at each other, before they all cried out his name and almost crushed him in the largest group hug he was a part of. Even Allura and Coran were there.
“Guys, I'm still here! I'm not dead yet!”
“Oh, we know you're here, god, it's been a while!” Pidge laughed and wrapped her small arms around his middle.
“Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod you're alive!” Hunk held him close to his chest, planting small kisses on his head. Lance laughed and let him, he was his best friend after all.
Keith stood in front of him, his lip trembling. He didn't say anything, but leaned in to hug Lance, pressing his face into the crook of his neck.
“Yeah, I missed you too, Keith.”
It was odd, seeing Keith actually showing raw emotion around Lance for once, but he didn't even feel like teasing him for it, because god knows it he missed Keith too.
“Lance!”
Allura and Coran cried out together, both pressing themselves against his sides. Shiro snorted and also wrapped his longer arms around all of them. His friends-no, his family.
“God, you guys...I love you all, you know that?”
Lance found it in him to laugh, and let them smother him in their love. He wasn't sure if he would ever get to experience it again.
He told them everything. About him and Blue, hearing their gasps and watching their awe. He told about the Island, how it was toxic but they would be dead sooner without it, how they drifted through space for what felt like days, he even lifted his shirt and rolled his jeans up to show the bumpy scars, and Hunk stroked the bumpy pale one that ran across his cheek, joking that him and Shiro could be twins in facial scars. They froze when he mentioned that him and Blue were talking to each other, making conversation.
“She...she did that?” Allura stammered.
“Yeah, and we were dreamin' together, sounds weird. But it was nice. She showed me her home back in Altea, before her life was put into Voltron, and I showed her around my home.”
“Earth?” Allura guessed.
“Yeah, Varadero beach, in Cuba, I grew up there before I got into the Garrison. We just did silly things, talkin' and eatin' fruit and ice-cream, and she got to meet my mother and sister, but look, look at this.” He lifted his neck up to show the beads that hung around his neck, earning a gasp and awestruck murmurs from everyone. “She got me this, from the dream, oh, and she got me something else-"
He dug his hand into his pocket, and pulled out the mango stone.
“How, how did she do that?” Hunk gasped, staring at it with his jaw dropped.
Lance turned it over in his hand, studying it. “I don't know.”
Lance handed it over to Coran and Pidge, who studied it closely.
“Lance, you said she was talking to you, none of the lions have ever done that before, not even to me.” Allura looked wondered and happy at that. “She may have found her perfect paladin!”
She smiled and laughed softly, like a bell tinkling.
“Why doesn't Red ever talk to me?” Keith deadpanned and folded his arms.
“Oh yeah, she told me about you, Keith, you and Red specifically. Red loves you, believe me, she does. Blue said...she said that her and the lions talk to each other, and she said that Red really loves you, sure, she won't admit it, but Blue said that it was pretty easy to just notice it. Like, you two have a lot in common, both broody, hell, you were both probably born in a volcano. Try callin' Red Donoma next time you're with her, she'll like that. I think.”
The look on Keith's face was priceless, like someone had just given him a compliment he wasn't expecting.
“Thanks, I-I'll remember that. And I am not that broody.”
Lance winked at him, snorting when Keith groaned.
“Oh, oh! Did she say anything about ol' Yellow?” Hunk bubbled, his fists over his mouth.
“She sure did! Yellow is the mother hen, and she was lovin', carin', generous and great with kids, and she said that with you pilotin' her, it was like having two Yellows around instead of one."
Hunk smiled so hard that if his smile stretched anymore, he would be the cheshire cat.
“And Green! Don't forget Green!” Pidge reminded Lance.
“Okay, so Green was the most youngest and most energetic, and she had a habit of wandering off, quite a lot apparently. Green's curiosity always got the better of her, and Black 'had to drag her back by the tail'.”
“Yeah, that sounds like us.” Pidge laughed and crossed her arms.
“Oh, and she told me about Black too, Black is, like, this super motherly figure who always gives advice and treats anyone younger than her like her own cubs.” Shiro threw his arms up in the air with a sigh of resignation, and a giggle from almost everyone. “But!...Blue said that she was a born leader, and she was gentle, and she was proud...dude, she even has wings , two massive feathered red wings. Blue sorta mentioned that Black looked after her when she was a cub, and gave her that best bit of advice she ever had; 'there's only one way to save the world...be yourself'.”
Lance felt his voice waver and falter on the last words. The room also had a silence settle on it. Blue followed that advice until the end, and even though it was good advice, even the thought of it made Lance's heart drop and a lump settle in his throat.
“It's okay, you've told us all there is to know.”
Shiro comforted and rubbed his shoulder. He really didn't want to say what happened after that. Didn't want to bring up the details, reopen old wounds, think about the time spent all alone with only her mangled body for company.
“Yeah, not much happened after that.”
He lied. If the others could tell, they kept their mouths shut.
The following days were spent quietly. Lance went around the castle, thanking everyone, hanging out with them, resolving old problems. He didn't want to leave with any hard feelings, no matter how trivial. Everyday, he felt his heartbeat grow weaker, getting slower, and it showed. How whenever he was training with Keith and he got light headed and ran short of breath after only five minutes so they were forced to sit down for a few minutes, he blamed it on his legs ('healing pods, right?'). When he was cooking with Hunk, and how he would often blank out like a zombie until Hunk splashed water on his face ('Sorry, just got a lil' woozy, I'll be fine, don't worry!') Even talking with Pidge tired him out, and she ended up repeating almost everything she said more than once ('I'm alright, you just got smarter, that's all!') and even hanging out with Shiro, no matter what they were doing, Shiro ended up carrying him to his room whenever he lost his footing again ('Sorry Shiro, it's not you, I'm just outta it lately.' 'I understand.') Lance found himself venting with Coran a lot more, thanking him for the bag that saved his life, and reminiscing about home, while Coran shared stories of Altea. Lance let Coran ramble on about his life back home, boot camp, serving under King Alfor, and his own long-gone family. Lance actually learnt quite a lot, and he found himself listening to him more and more out of fascination. Lance also spent more time with Allura, helping her out with the castle, and talking about Blue. She also felt it when Blue died, and they both shared that emptiness, the emptiness that felt like a part of your very being was missing.
One night, Lance went back down to the basement, where Blue's gigantic body was resting. He quietly padded through the halls, and opened the doors. It was dim, and there were no windows. Whenever he was around her, the singing in the back of his mind grew louder, and it was almost comforting to listen to. He found himself leaning against her closed maw, fingers rubbing circles along the dented cool metal.
“Hey Blue...I know y'can't hear me anymore.”
He sighed and bit his trembling lip, shivers running amok up and down his spine.
“But we had a lotta great times, didn't we?”
It was like talking down to a grave, all he needed was a bouquet of flowers, lilies would be nice, and some rain pouring in the background, but here in the castle, it was quiet apart from the constant hum of the Castle's engines, and when you stripped the scene down to its bare essentials, it was a boy sitting against the body of the one he mourned.
“Y'know, I never expected any of this. If you were to tell me a year ago that one day, I'd be a defender of the universe, I would be your paladin, and I would see the universe, I would have laughed. Jus' look at us now, man.”
Lance sunk down a little closer to the floor, his heartbeat slow and heavy, and it seemed to sink along with him.
“Out of all the people in this universe, trillions of people far more better than me and you chose me...thank you.”
Lance shuffled over to Blue's paw, lying on it's side, curled up in a ball into it, his chin resting on his knees.
“And now that I've met you, and you've been a part of me, and now you're gone...I don't know what to do. We were jus' gettin' started, there was still so much more ahead of us, so much more we could've done.”
Lance blinked and sighed, reaching out and wrapping his hand around one of her claws. It was quiet, and the singing in his head was like a lullaby.
“I miss you.”
He whispered.
It took ages for them to find Lance in the morning, until Hunk had the idea to go down to the basement, alone. When he opened the doors, he sighed sadly to see his friend curled up on the floor next to Blue, still holding her claw tightly.
“Lance, you gotta get up.”
Hunk padded over and crouched down, cringing when he held Lance's shoulder and he could feel bone. Lance was skinny, but never like this. When Lance opened his eyes slightly and peered up at Hunk without moving his head, Hunk felt like crying. Lance's eyes were yellow-ish, his face was hollow, and his body was still so frail, even after a more than a week in the healing pod. Lance was dying. His friend was dying.
“Lance.” Hunk said it in a quieter voice this time and scooped up his friend as carefully as he could.
“Can't I stay a lil' longer?” Lance stretched and rubbed his eyes drowsily. He was so light and fragile in Hunk's arms.
“Buddy, this is unhealthy. You're not well, you know that.”
Lance sighed in defeat. “I know...I should've died out there.”
Hunk knew that Lance meant that he honestly should have been dead. Lance shouldn't have survived that long, so sick and broken. It was only a miracle they found him barely hanging on for life. Maybe that was why he was given a second chance. To say a proper good-bye.
“You survived for a reason, Lance.”
Lance tried his best to smile, but even Hunk couldn't smile now.
“You're too good, Hunk, you know that?”
“Yeah, you told me, like, four times this week.”
“I did.” Lance stared back at Blue. “You and I both know, I'm not gonna make it.”
Even healing pods, in all of their technology, couldn't heal Lance.
“I-I know.” Hunk's eyes felt glassy, and he looked away.
“I'd like to go back to Earth, y'know? It would be nice...to see the rest of my family.”
Hunk swallowed thickly. “Okay, we better get outta here though.”
Lance nodded. “Seeya Blue, see ya 'round.”
It hurt, seeing your friend accept defeat after getting so far, seeing them die slowly, day by day. They left the room quietly, leaving it in the state they arrived in.
“Hunk? Did you find him-?”
Pidge cut herself off as she saw Lance being cradled by Hunk, the others also dropped what they were doing and ran up to them, they didn't even need to speak, their downcast faces said it all.
“Guys, I know I'm hot, but if you look any longer, I'll have to pay for your burnt retinas.”
Lance joked, a weak smile forming on his face. Hunk carefully helped him to his feet, and still Lance leaned onto him for support. The silence in the room was deafening.
“So what's gonna happen?” Keith broke the quiet.
“I...I'd like to go back to Earth, y'know, see my family...I miss my mum's hugs.”
Shiro nodded. “I'll ask Allura, I'll ask her what she can do.”
“I'll come with you.” Lance stepped forwards, holding onto Shiro's arm.
“Okay.”
Allura was in the control room, tinkering away at something with Coran.
“Lance! Shiro! You're-" Coran took one look at Lance and he couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence, tapping Allura's shoulder, and she was equally speechless once she set eyes on them.
“Allura, Coran, think you can open a wormhole for Earth?” Shiro asked with a hint of desperation in his voice.
Lance didn't even have to explain. Allura instantly nodded and walked over.
“Lance, you're-"
“Dying.”
Her hands were cupped around her mouth, and she leaned down to hug him closely.
“Of course, that can be arranged.” She wiped her eye and smiled weakly. “I can set up a ship, who's going with you?”
“I'd like everyone, but…”
Coran and Allura had to stay with the castle, so they couldn't come with.
“We have a ship big enough for five, get the others, I'll be in Hangar Bay One.”
“Thank you, Coran.” Shiro finished, Coran nodded and ran out the door.
“Hey Allura? Thank you, I'm so happy I got to meet you.” Lance even had it in him to wink at her, and Allura at least pretended to look amused. “One last hug?”
“One last hug.” She stepped over to embrace him again, holding him tightly for a few seconds before she ran out the door.
“All paladins to Hangar Bay One.” Coran's voice called out on the intercom system.
“We better get down there, can you walk?” Shiro held out a hand to assist Lance.
“Can I talk? Yes, let's go.”
Shiro smiled at him, lending an arm as they headed down to the Hangar.
When they got there, a ship was all ready for them. Pidge was already in the pilot's seat. It was similar to the one Coran and Hunk flew in to the Balmera with, just a lot bigger with a few extra seats. Hunk and Keith had already taken two of the back seats, both glassy eyed and tense.
“Coran, I can never thank you enough. Thanks for listenin' to me all those times. Hugs?”
Coran let a few fat tears fall as he hugged Lance for the last time. “One last hug before you go, remember us, boy!”
Lance smiled and nodded, letting Keith help him up into the ship. Coran waved at them, smiling but with tears in his eyes, waving until the airlock had sucked them out.
“Paladins, you have three hours, good luck, and thank you.”
Princess Allura's voice echoed on the comm and a swirling blue and silver wormhole opened in front of them, and Pidge slowly flew in, Shiro at her side. The usual pulling sensation made Lance's stomach lurch, but it settled as they flew out into calm skies, the Earth never looked so beautiful from space. It would be the afternoon in Cuba right now, and Lance gulped, holding the beads around his neck.
“Lance, I'm sorry I was a dick to you.” Keith choked, holding his hand.
“It's alright, we were both dicks, no hard feelin's.”
Lanced winked at him and kissed his cheek. Keith gulped and rested against his shoulder, still holding his hand tightly with his bare hand.
“Oh c'mon, I'm gonna cry.” Hunk sniffed and leaned against Lance's right shoulder.
“Hang on in there guys, Lance, where did you wanna go?”
“Varadero beach, Cuba, thanks.”
Pidge nodded and keyed in a few coordinates. “We'll be there soon.”
They landed on a cliff overlooking the beach, serene and calm. It was more beautiful than Lance ever remembered. The sun was up, the waves were rolling against the golden sand, and the summer breeze felt so lovely on his face. Keith managed to catch him as he fell out of the ship, and Lance uttered a brief thanks. They were all on the verge of tears. This was just like his dream with Blue, everything to the weather and the smell of salty air was just right. Lance kicked his shoes off, feeling the soft green grass under his feet. Lance looked over the roads of the town, finding the one street he knew off by heart.
“There, we gotta get to there.”
He pointed a quivering finger at the street, and his feet started moving on his own, but his legs wobbled and swayed, and Hunk and Keith were at his side in an instant.
“Take it slow, don't tire yourself out too much.” Hunk offered. The sound of the door clicking behind them indicated that Shiro and Pidge were out, and the ship was cloaked thanks to Pidge. “Okay, gentle steps.”
It took them a while to get down off the grassy cliff, but they managed to get down, without Lance losing too much of his breath. Hunk and Shiro ended up carrying him for half of the way, Pidge and Keith talking gently and offering support, saying how much they loved and cared about him. The singing of the lions in his head grew louder, and it was the same song they sung for Blue, a farewell song, their farewell. He felt his eyes well up as they passed house after house. He reached up to touch the beads hanging around his neck.
“Guys, please, let me walk, I see her.”
Just like in his dreams, Rosa Fuentes was hanging clothes up on the line outside their house, strong and bold, her curly frizzy hair in her usual bun, tied back with a red handkerchief, her red checkered pinafore and creamy blouse was the same, freckles on her sun kissed skin and she was barefoot. His newfound family were either holding his hands, or their hands were on his shoulders encouragingly. Lance gulped and slowly walked forwards, pain in every step, as his fingers unlocked the gate and it swung open with a creak, and he was standing there. She was even more beautiful in the flesh. There was a gasp from Pidge as she noticed they were almost the same, same deep blue eyes, same brown skin, and they shared the same smile. Rosa heard it open and looked over her shoulder, locking eye contact with him. A moment dragged out, mother and son, after almost a year, just staring at each other. Lance felt his chin quiver and his eyes water.
“Mama?”
The word was so weak, it may have not been there at all. Her jaw trembled and she sniffed, dropping the wicker clothes basket and running towards him with outstretched arms.
“My baby boy!”
She cried out and hugged him closely, and they were both crying, and they were all crying, and Lance had the ones he called his family all around him, arms and tears all around him and his mother, embracing after so long. Lance felt his legs fail, and they were both hugged closely on the grass.
“Ma...I love you, so, so much.”
“My beautiful Lance, I love you too.”
Lance smiled and took a look at everyone around him, all beautiful people he was just so happy to know throughout his short time. For the last time he smiled, and closed his eyes, in a beautiful moment of pure bliss and joy, surrounded by those he loved.
And he was happy.
-
“Blue?”
“Little one.”
-
And the greatest story that I know is the one that I'm supposed to go out with,
And the greatest story that I know is the one that I'm supposed to go out with,
And the greatest story that I know is the one that I'm supposed to go out with,
And the greatest story that I know is the one that I'm supposed to go out with,
And the greatest stories that we know are the ones that we're supposed out with.