Chapter Text
May 3rd
Jiaoqiu opens the library door, fixing his cap and sunglasses on in order to return home. He still struggles with sunlight even until now. He's currently a senior in high school, his graduation date is in a month from now. Lately his biggest troubles are studying for finals alongside other projects. Since his second year of high school he’s been also taking classes at his local university which inevitably has been taking a toll on him mentally.
“One more month and summer will be here,” He sighs, shoving his hands inside his hoodie’s pockets. To be honest, he’s been in a really bad mood these past couple of days. His only saving grace is the fact that he’s meeting up with Feixiao and Moze later, despite all this stress those two will always find a way to cheer him up which he feels eternally grateful for. He expects to see Moze there already because he’s always the first to be there at their hiding spot.
Feixiao is in her second year while Moze will be in high school next school year. He feels a little sad over not being in high school at the same time as Moze but he knows Feixiao will keep him company.
Speaking of Feixiao, she’s relatively popular in her school even people from other schools know about her. It makes sense however because of how athletic she is, she dominates every single sport she plays which as a result they dubbed her the nickname “Merlin’s Claw”. Which, according to Feixiao, the Merlin is apparently the school’s mascot and claw because in her exact words, ‘the grip she has on other schools whenever she’s playing’. Jiaoqiu laughs to himself while reminiscing.
He eventually reaches home and goes upstairs to rest a bit before wanting to make some food to take with him later for the two. He plans on just making a simple egg sandwich since he feels a bit exhausted.
Jiaoqiu lays down on his bed out of exhaustion and feels his eyes become slightly heavy. He doesn’t want to sleep that long however sleep gets a hold of him, the moment his eyes closes he slips into sleep unwittingly.
A knock wakes Jiaoqiu up suddenly and he slowly opens his eyes to see Feixiao and Moze staring down at him behind the window. Jiaoqiu quickly gets up to open the window to let the two in.
“I was wondering why you didn’t show up, turns out you fell asleep.” Feixiao sighs, “We were both super worried y’know? normally you’re the second one here and if you can’t make it you leave a message.”
“Have you been sleeping well?” Moze asks, equally concerned.
“Normally I’d lie and say yes but since you two caught me like this I can’t get my way out of this one haha…” Jiaoqiu sheepishly says. “To be honest, school’s been keeping me up a lot lately because of all the projects I have to do on top of finals, also I just found out that I’ll be picked for valedictorian this year so I gotta prepare a speech to read in front of thousands of people.” Jiaoqiu doesn’t know why he’s telling them all this, normally he’d just lie or keep it brief. Could it be that the exhaustion is truly getting to him to the point where he's airing out all his grievances? He doesn’t really like this feeling at all.
He continues, “at the same time I’m stressed out thinking about life after high school. I already never liked being younger than my classmates by a whole two years. Once I start university, the age range there is vast. I won't be able to fit in at all.” Jiaoqiu stares down at his hands and fiddles with his fingers after speaking.
He feels the mattress dip down a bit, indicating that someone has sat down next to him, and he feels it a second time. Both Feixiao and Moze were there beside him.
“Jiaoqiu… I understand your worries, really anyone would be hella stressed because of it but you’re still doing well despite it all.” Feixiao says while taking his hand. “I really admire you y’know? All the times I've seen you having to pick studying over doing something you love, you still manage to stay positive.”
“Yeah Jiaoqiu, times might be a bit stressful right now but we’re always here for you if you ever wanna unwind. You’re really cool and like what Feixiao said earlier I admire you too! I would love to help with your assignments if it’s something I can do.” Moze pats his shoulders giving him a toothy grin.
Jiaoqiu smiles, “you two really know how to cheer me up, I’m grateful to be friends with you guys.” He wraps his arms behind their neck and pulls them into a hug. “I’m feeling hungry after my nap. What do you two wanna eat?” Jiaoqiu stands up and turns to face them.
“I like anything you make!” Moze quickly says before shooting a glare at Feixiao after she coughs.
“Haha alright I’ll make us something, I’ll be back.” Jiaoqiu takes off the hoodie he forgot to take off and puts his hair into a messy bun which has strands falling off the sides. He’s been wanting to cut his hair for a while but never got the chance to due to being extremely busy this month.
“Hey Jiaoqiu, why don’t we treat you this time,” Feixiao suggests, with Moze nodding,
“Hm I'm fine with that but I’m worried about your cooking skills,”
“We’ve been learning,” Feixiao responds while wrapping her arm around Moze’s neck.
“We??” He turns his head towards her.
“Shut it.”
“Well if you two insist then sure, but I’ll supervise just in case.” Jiaoqiu hums, finding all of this somewhat amusing.
“Don’t worry we won’t burn down your house! Leave it to us.” Feixiao quickly says while she drags Moze downstairs with her, whose eyes are slightly pleading Jiaoqiu for help.
Jiaoqiu slightly laughs to himself and lays back down on his bed, it felt nice to be treated like this. However, his relaxing time was short lived because of the smoke alarm going off. He sighs and stands up, making his way downstairs when Feixiao speaks up on the last step.
“Don’t worry Jiaoqiu, nothing's burning!” Feixiao yells from downstairs.
“Yeah stay upstairs, we'll be done soon.” Moze adds.
Jiaoqiu sighs and returns back to his room going to his desk instead and pulling out his laptop.
The two end up coming back to his room a couple of minutes later with a plate of an egg sandwich.
“We both worked super hard for this.” Feixiao grins while Moze is nodding quickly beside her.
Seeing the two together makes him think of how they have to be somehow related the way they’re so alike.
“Thank you for the meal, and the talk today.” Jiaoqiu smiles and takes the plate from her.
The three spend the rest of the evening talking to each other with Jiaoqiu occupying his desk while Moze sits on the floor and Feixiao on his bed. Then it came time for them to go home. Feixiao left first leaving Jiaoqiu and Moze behind.
“Hey are you going to stay over tonight?” Jiaoqiu asks. He turns his chair to fully face Moze who’s still on the floor.
“Yeah my dad has been acting odd lately, I don’t want him to randomly lash out on me,” He says solemnly.
“Alright then no going home for you this week.” Jiaoqiu says and takes Moze’s hand, helping him stand up. “Let’s get ready for bed. We have a long week ahead of us, it's only Monday." He smiles gently at him.
The two moved to their usual spot on Jiaoqiu’s bed. The first time he let Moze sleep with him he noticed that Moze wasn’t really that comfortable with it. Moze told him it was due to not sleeping alone for once. Gradually as time went on he became more comfortable with sleeping with even to the point where he stopped facing the wall every night. Although Jiaoqiu suspects him to be a bit embarrassed still because the tips of his ears turn slightly red possibly due to them being older now and not young boys no more not knowing the real reason why.
Jiaoqiu feels Moze wrapping his arm around him in a hug which certainly surprised him. Moze’s always been clingy in his sleep but not when he’s awake so he’s done this on purpose.
“Jiaoqiu, I know what it’s like to not fit in at all. I spent a lot of my younger years not having any friends my age because everyone thought I was some boy who always causes trouble. It didn’t help the fact that there were rumors about my dad which made it even worse.” He mumbles. “But, after meeting you and Feixiao I stopped caring about whether I fit in or not with my classmates because at the end of the day I always had you two and that was more than enough for someone like me.”
Jiaoqiu's eyes slightly widened, he certainly didn’t expect this from Moze, the same boy who’s always too shy to express himself to Jiaoqiu. He feels a weight lift off his shoulders and chuckles to himself while hugging Moze back and pulling him close.
“Moze you’re really cute you know that?” Jiaoqiu lets out a hearty laugh “Thank you for these words, they really made me feel better.”
“H-huh cute?? Where’s this coming from.” Moze stammers while breaking free from Jiaoqiu’s grip and scoots his back to the wall.
“Just like that,” Jiaoqiu laughs, he imagines that Moze’s ears are red at the moment, which he wasn’t wrong at all.
“Alright enough jokes goodnight Moze and thank you again.” Jiaoqiu smiles.
“Good night… “ Moze mumbles back still embarrassed.
May 20th
Jiaoqiu glances at the clock, the clock strikes 5 in the morning. His project broke the day before it was due so he’d been spending all night working on it.
Exhaustion creeps up on his face. He stands up to take a short break while drinking water to keep himself up.
“Two more hours before I have to get ready for school… ugh why does this class have to be the first one of the day.” He groans and runs his fingers through his hair, pushing his bangs out of his face. He glances towards his empty bed. Moze isn’t there tonight which he feels slightly relieved about; he didn't want Moze to see him like this—a mess.
There’s papers scattered around his room, anyone who knows Jiaoqiu well would be alarmed at the sight of his room. Jiaoqiu likes to keep everything neat and tidy, currently his room is the opposite of that.
He returns back to his seat to work on his project. However fate isn’t so kind to him at the moment and he feels his eyes grow heavy. The moment he closes his eyes he hears his alarm go off which startles him awake.
‘Huh it’s already 7?’ His eyes widen at how bright outside is. He ended up falling asleep by accident without finishing his project.
“No, it's 8 am!” He stands up quickly after looking at the clock; he’s late for school. He’s never late for school.
He quickly gets ready and takes his unfinished project grabbing only his hat and rushing out the door.
Jiaoqiu reached the school a lot faster than usual because this time he ran.
‘Ugh I should’ve listened to Feixiao when she suggested that I exercise a bit’ He thinks while wheezing. Jiaoqiu enters the school, takes his late pass and starts walking fast to his classroom. On the way he bumps into another student and stumbles forward, his project slipping out of his hands and denting it.
“Sorry about that,” the other student says sincerely but Jiaoqiu ignores and picks up his project to get to his class.
He ends up being 15 minutes late to his class which is a first for him in this school year. He enters his classroom while someone else is currently presenting their project. Jiaoqiu had to awkwardly place his botched project onto the table in the back of the room and walk back to his seat. The embarrassment seeps in the moment he sees everyone’s project compared to his broken and unfinished one.
‘This is so embarrassing, first i’m late and now my project looks awful compared to everyone else, i’m gonna get a bad grade on this…’ He thinks to himself, the back of his neck turning hot from shame.
Once he got to his turn to present he clearly had done the worst of them all. However he presented his work as if his project didn’t break at all. As if the day couldn’t get any worse, he proceeded to drop his project yet again while trying to pick it up.
Jiaoqiu scrambles to pick up the pieces and put them back into the box, the room was silent the entire time. He returns back to his seat in a daze while the rest of his classmates continue to present. He seriously feels like crying.
Once class was over, his teacher calls him over looking concerned, which makes sense because Jiaoqiu is never late and is never
“Jiaoqiu is everything alright?” His teacher asks.
“Yeah haha… I just couldn’t sleep last night.” He says silently hoping she’d let him leave. He doesn’t want to tell her how his original project broke since he feels responsible for it and doesn’t want her to pity him.
“Given how you were late today and brought a clearly unfinished project to your standards it seems something had happened with your original project?” She inquires.
Jiaoqiu’s eyes widen, she’s eerily spot on. “H-how did you know?” he asks genuinely surprised.
“Jiaoqiu, I've been your teacher for almost a year. Do you think I wouldn’t know how my best student does his work? You’re an exceptional boy who has high standards when it comes to his own work. It's clear whatever happened was out of your control.” She says. “Don’t worry though, I’ll grade you fairly if that’s what you want since your intentions are clear.” She winks at him, obviously lying and sends him off.
Jiaoqiu slightly smiles to himself, he’s slightly grateful that the teacher was lenient to him. However this will be the last time he slips up like this, he can’t act like this in university and expect his professors to be nice.
His day goes by pretty worse than usual. The worst of it being when he fell asleep in class and got called out by the teacher out loud. He could hear his classmates snicker to each other.
‘Don’t cry Jiaoqiu don’t cry…’ He thinks, trying to comfort himself while staring down at his notebook, embarrassed over what happened today. This one specific teacher had a problem with him which he couldn’t understand at all. It seems like Jiaoqiu’s slip up today was the perfect opportunity to embarrass him.
By the time he was walking home from school he was mentally and physically drained from the events of today and to make things worse it’s raining hard. Jiaoqiu didn’t have time to grab an umbrella so he’s currently walking home in the rain.
“As if this day could be any shittier.” He mutters to himself; a rare moment of annoyance. Looking at his phone to see if he got any texts from Feixiao who is currently at practice, presumably indoor practice this time around.
At that moment, a bunch of kids behind him without umbrellas were running home. They bump into him making Jiaoqiu stumble forward, dropping his phone which lands into a sewer grate. He stiffens and crawls over to the sewer grate where his phone fell into the water at the bottom.
He silently stands up and looks at his scarred palms and knees and walks home, letting the rain mix with his tears. His day had been awful from start to finish, combined with the stress he’d been dealing with these past few weeks. Every time he thought his day couldn’t get any worse, something else happened to challenge his thoughts.
Jiaoqiu eventually reaches home, all soaked and a mess. He first goes to the bathroom to shower then lays back down on his bed, dazed over his day. He stays like that for a while before he hears his doorbell go off. Jiaoqiu slowly gets up and goes downstairs. He wasn’t really expecting anyone to come over today and it’s too early for his mom to get home so it must be either Feixiao or Moze. He’s not particularly excited to see either since he’s such a mess right now, he hasn’t even cleaned his messy room since this morning yet.
He opens the door and sees Moze who looks a little guilty.
“Sorry about your project again,” Moze says sincerely, he really feels bad about what happened.
Normally Jiaoqiu would smile and say it’s fine but after his awful day he couldn’t bring himself to speak at all and continued to gaze at Moze.
Jiaoqiu had finished his project about 4 days ago and he was letting it sit on his desk since then. Last night when Moze was over he thought he saw a bug and got scared, accidentally knocking it over. He obviously felt guilty about it and Jiaoqiu didn’t hold it against him at the time because he believed he could get it done in time. Moze wanted to help but had to go home because of his dad, so he left Jiaoqiu to work on it. He realized he had to make a quick stop at the store to buy more materials which took longer to get so he didn’t get to start on his project until after midnight.
Jiaoqiu wants to say something to comfort Moze and cheer him up but his entire day rang in his mind and he couldn’t bring himself to say anything.
“Jiaoqiu? Are you okay?” Moze asks with a concerned look.
“Huh yeah i’m fine, just zoned out a bit haha… come in.” He says and turns to walk back to his room.
He knows Moze didn’t do that intentionally but he couldn't help himself for slightly resenting him.
‘What am I thinking? Moze didn’t mean it.’ He quickly snaps out of his thoughts and feels guilty for thinking this way.
He walks back into his room and remembers the mess he’d left behind and quickly shut the door before Moze could get in.
“My room is a bit messy. Can you give me like 5 minutes?” Jiaoqiu says while leaning on the door.
“O-okay, I’ll just watch tv downstairs.” Moze responds. Jiaoqiu doesn’t move from the door until he hears Moze’s footsteps leave. He pushes himself off the door and turns to stare at his room.
“Ugh I’m in such a bad mood I'm having awful thoughts I normally wouldn’t have. Is this how I truly feel?” Jiaoqiu sighs, he doesn’t like feeling this way at all. He’s always been good at controlling his emotions, even what he’s feeling inside. Jiaoqiu doesn’t like to think badly of others especially his own friends but it seems today just wasn’t it at all.
While cleaning he hears glass shattering downstairs. Alarmed, Jiaoqiu rushes downstairs and sees a broken glass cup on the floor and looks back up to Moze who looks surprised himself. Seeing this scene reminded him of last night when Moze accidentally broke his project which played a part in the awful day he had today. Jiaoqiu felt something snap in him at this moment. His next words came out as a surprise to Moze and to even himself.
“Go home, please.” Jiaoqiu blurts out, a bit shocked by his own words.
Moze stiffens at his words. “Huh?”
“Go home… I’m a bit tired right now. We'll see each other tomorrow right?” Jiaoqiu pinches his eyebrows together with a pained smile.
Jiaoqiu assumes Moze would just leave but he seems to be more insistent. “Jiaoqiu what happened today? You seem stressed.”
Jiaoqiu freezes for a second and turns away from Moze, “nothing is wrong I just want you to go home,” the next words come out strained. “...I just don't want to see you right now .”
The room goes silent for a couple of seconds before Moze walks over and grabs Jiaoqiu’s wrist. “Jiaoqiu you’re never like this what happened? Please tell me, after all you were the one who told me to be honest with my feelings.”
Jiaoqiu yanks his hand away from Moze’s grasp and turns toward him. “It’s all because of you! I spent all night working on this damn project because you broke it. And to make matters worse I couldn’t even finish in time because I accidentally fell asleep at 5 in the morning and slept through all my alarms which made me late to class.” He yells.
‘What am I saying right now? Why am I blaming Moze for everything that went wrong today.’ He thinks to himself but his mouth moves faster than his rational brain.
“I came late to class with a shitty project that fell apart the moment I was done presenting and on top of that I got humiliated by one of my teachers for falling asleep.” Jiaoqiu runs his hands through his hair and slightly pulls at it. “And that’s not all, because I had to rush to school I had no umbrella to take home so I had to walk home in this fucking storm and guess what? Some random kids pushed me which made me drop my phone in a sewage grater so now I don’t have a phone on me and won’t for a while.” Jiaoqiu takes a deep breath out. “So yes, I’m pretty fucking pissed right now, this shitty day happened because of—” He freezes once he looks at Moze, who has tears welled up in his eyes.
“I-I’m sorry Jiaoqiu, I never meant to break your project. I'm sorry for being annoying. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry…” Moze mumbles incoherently while hugging himself. He looked terrified. Seeing Moze like this reminded Jiaoqiu of the time he had just met Moze, who was closed off and guarded at the time.
The guilt seeps in quickly and before Jiaoqiu could say anything Moze already ran away.
Jiaoqiu stares at the door thinking about what he had just done and turns to look at his hand where he notices a bloodstain on his wrist. It’s clearly not his so It could only belong to Moze’s. He turns his head towards the broken glass on the floor and notices a bit of blood on the ground.
“How could I not notice this? I was too wrapped up in my own issues, I didn't notice the fact that Moze was bleeding. On top of that he was trying to comfort me while he was in pain. What’s wrong with me? I truly am pathetic.” Jiaoqiu’s voice cracks, his eyes stinging before tears trickling down his face. He wants to chase after Moze and apologize but he doesn’t know where he went to begin with. He doesn't even know where he lives and he can’t really call Feixiao to ask. Besides, emotions are high right now and he’s still physically drained from today.
Jiaoqiu silently wipes the tears off his own cheeks with the back of his hand and sniffs. “I’m an awful friend, I should've kept my mouth shut, why did I blame Moze for everything over the fact I had a bad day.” He quickly cleans up the mess and reluctantly walks back into his room and lays back down on his bed, feeling like shit. “I’ll apologize tomorrow, I don't think he'd want to see me right now.” He whispers to himself trying to ignore the guilt that’s eating him up. He ends up falling asleep in that position with dried tear stains on his face.
May 21
Jiaoqiu's eyes slowly open. Recalling what happened yesterday made him feel remorseful again. There’s a pit in his stomach that he felt since last night. He feels anxious over today, like it’s not going to go well.
‘Ugh I’m so stupid I gotta apologize immediately, what would Feixiao think of this? She probably thinks I’m dumb for that.’
He involuntarily gets himself ready for school and goes on through his normal day but this time a little gloomier than usual. It was pretty noticeable from his classmates so most people didn’t approach him.
After school, he walks with Feixiao towards their meeting spot. Last week they all planned to meet at the tree after school today since Feixiao didn’t have any practice today.
“What’s up Jiaoqiu? you’ve been sulking all day.” Feixiao asks while jogging, she always takes any opportunity to exercise whenever she’s not practicing.
“I did something stupid to Moze yesterday, and I wanna apologize.” Jiaoqiu says while pulling his cap down to cover his face more in shame.
“Huh what did you do?” Feixiao stopped jogging and started walking since she felt this was important.
“I was gonna tell you later but Moze is probably at the tree right now so you should know.” Jiaoqiu sighs and explains what happened yesterday to Feixiao, making sure to not leave out any details nor make any excuses for himself.
“Damn you had it rough yesterday, I can’t blame you for getting angry but at the same time I get why you feel guilty over what happened with Moze.” She pats his back. “I’m sure he’ll accept your apology, I'm sure you two were just super tense yesterday which led up to this, but Moze really likes you a lot he wouldn’t stop being friends with you over this.”
“Yeah… thanks Feixiao.” The lump he feels in his stomach didn’t go away but he certainly felt slightly better.
Once they get close to their meeting spot, Jiaoqiu sees the tree in the distance with no Moze in sight. He unknowingly feels his stomach churning out of anxiety. Moze is always here first, out of the 5 years he’s known him there’s never been a time where Moze hadn’t been there first let alone not even be there at all.
“Oh? Moze ain’t here, that's a first.” Feixiao says. Jiaoqiu can hear the unease in her voice, she must be thinking the same thing as he is.
“You don’t think he’s trying to avoid me?” Jiaoqiu murmurs, his anxiety coming back.
“No he’s not.” Feixiao quickly retorts.
“But he’s not here. I must’ve hurt him too much.” Jiaoqiu starts tugging at the ends of his hair anxiously.
“Don’t say that.” Feixiao snaps, “Actually, he came to my house last night…” She confesses, quickly following up before Jiaoqiu could interject. “He told me what happened, he doesn’t blame you at all, in fact he wanted to apologize to you again.” She turns to him. “Him not being here is weird…” She ponders for a bit before her face slightly stiffens. “...Do you think it has something to do with his dad?” She asks anxiously.
Jiaoqiu had to gloss over the former part of what she said since the more pressing matter came from the latter. His stomach churned even more at the possibilities.
“...Feixiao, do you know where he lives?” He asks slowly. Jiaoqiu had known Moze for 5 years, however he never knew where he lived. Moze would actively prevent them from finding out where he lived, and now it came to bite Jiaoqiu in the ass,
“I’ve seen where he lived once but that’s when I first met him… If I'm around the area, maybe I can remember what house—follow me.” Feixiao recalls something and starts running with Jiaoqiu following suit.
Jiaoqiu had never been athletic, he knows this. He'd always been weaker compared to Feixiao and Moze. But despite that, at this moment he ran the fastest he’d ever run. His lungs and thighs were burning but the adrenaline prevented him from slowing down.
Feixiao was ahead of him by quite a lot but he could still see her. He was led to this apartment complex in an area of town he’s never walked to.
He spots Feixiao running up the stairs to one of them, once he got closer he could feel his stomach ache even more. The origins of his anxiety must be here. He hears yelling as he’s going up the stairs which makes him even more anxious. Once he reaches the place he hears the sound coming from he’s greeted with a sight that makes his stomach drop.
He sees a very tall man with the same dark gray hair color as Moze, lifting him up by his neck. The man looked beaten up and there Moze was, coughing, trying to breathe as the taller man choked him. As Jiaoqiu’s gaze moves down he sees a lot of blood spilling from the both of them. Two stab wounds on the taller man’s sides, and a knife lodged into Moze’s abdomen. Jiaoqiu froze at the gruesome sight—he couldn’t move.
“Let go of him!” Feixiao shouts and uses her entire body weight to shove the man which makes him let go of Moze and stumbles down with Feixiao.
That snaps Jiaoqiu out of the initial shock, he runs over to Moze on the ground; who’s all beaten and bloody. A bruise has already formed on his cheek, he must’ve been hit hard. There’s also a bit of blood on his forehead, indicating he probably hit his head. As Jiaoqiu’s eyes trail down towards the knife lodged in his stomach he hears a small groan from Moze.
“Haha Jiaoqiu I never wanted you to see me like this…” He says while letting out a pained chuckle.
“Don’t talk, you’ll mess up your wound.” Jiaoqiu grits and applies pressure to the knife wound. It’s never good to remove the knife so he applies pressure around to prevent more blood from spilling.
Jiaoqiu can feel his eyes stinging but he doesn’t try to fight it, his hands are already bloody. He glances over to Feixiao who’s fighting the man, she has the upper hand since she’s not injured and the fact the man didn’t seem to be coherent, he reeks of alcohol. Jiaoqiu turns his head back to the injured boy in front of him.
“Y’know I wanted to apologize again today but this happened…It must’ve looked like I was running away huh?” Moze chokes out a little bit of blood.
“What are you saying? this is all my fault I should’ve never said that to you.” A tear from Jiaoqiu falls onto Moze’s face. Moze takes his own hand and wipes Jiaoqiu’s tears, accidentally smearing blood instead.
“Ah… I put blood on your face sorry…” Moze tries to laugh but coughs in pain instead.
“Shut up!” Jiaoqiu yells, "I don't care about the blood! I don’t care about anything right now…I just want to see you healthy and safe. Please stay awake.” His voice cracks as he speaks. “I’m sorry for yelling at you Moze, I’m sorry for telling you to leave, this is all my fault you don’t deserve this. I’m sorry I’m sorry…” Jiaoqiu weeps.
“Jiaoqiu, I don’t like seeing you sad… Can you smile for me?” Moze says slowly, it’s clear he’s fighting to stay conscious, the blood loss was too much for a kid with his stature.
“How can I smile at a time like this? You’re dying in front of me.” Jiaoqiu responds, his voice occasionally cracking.
“I’ll be fine…don't worry.”
“Don’t you dare fucking die on us.” Feixiao rasps as she comes over immediately, she’s also sobbing.
Jiaoqiu glances behind her and sees the man that’s currently passed out, unlike Moze’s wounds his own wounds didn’t seem that deep.
“Feixiao I won’t die I promise...” He heaves—he’s struggling to breathe.
“The ambulance will be here soon! I called them before I came. They'll be here soon and you’ll be okay right?” Feixiao pulls at her hair, “You’ll get the help you need and recover and then everything will be back to normal right?” She says with a broken smile.
Jiaoqiu looks down at Moze who’s struggling to keep his eyes open, “Jiaoqiu…Feixiao… I love you two so much I’m happy to have met you two.” He takes a deep breath, the blood loss is really affecting him now. “Please stay happy forever.” He tries to raise his hand but drops it due to the lack of strength. Feixiao takes his hand and grips it hard with tears streaming down her face.
Jiaoqiu hears a siren from the distance and turns his head towards the direction, the ambulance must be here, Moze will be saved and will be fine again. When he turns his head back Moze’s eyes are already shut and there’s barely any movement in his chest which indicates that he’s not breathing. Jiaoqiu freezes, he wants to check his pulse but he’s already applying pressure to the wound.
Feixiao starts bawling when Moze wouldn’t respond to her pleas. Jiaoqiu is in shock to even cry.
The paramedics quickly put him inside the ambulance and applied first aid. While a second one took Moze’s dad. A couple of police officers were there to question the two on what happened. Feixiao was too shaken up to say anything so they both turned to Jiaoqiu who was in a daze.
The person speaking to him is a lady, she asks gently, “Hey you two are good friends, you both saved the boy.” She starts the conversation with that, Jiaoqiu simply stares at her because he doesn’t think Moze survived that.
“What happened between them? Can you tell us what happened here?”
Jiaoqiu just feels empty right now and stares absentmindedly. He looks down at his bloody hands and is reminded of what he did yesterday. He finally breaks and starts crying again. “It’s all my fault, this happened because of me I killed him.” He covers his face with his bloodied hands and starts sobbing.
“What the hell are you saying! It’s his dad that stabbed him, not you!” Feixiao yells, she's furious at him.
“If I didn't get mad at him yesterday he wouldn’t have been here!” Jiaoqiu snaps back at her. It’s been years since they’ve had an argument where they yelled at each other.
The officers turn to each other and nod in understanding. The lady says, “What you did yesterday is unrelated to what happened today. You weren’t the one who stabbed your friend, in fact, it’s a good thing that you put pressure on his wound otherwise he wouldn't have been conscious for that long.” She pats his back and hands over a piece of cloth. “She’s right you’re not the cause of this, his dad is. All you two did was save him.”
Hearing this made Jiaoqiu cry even more, he felt his legs give out and collapsed to the ground. Although what they said was true, a small thought in his head kept telling him otherwise.
Eventually both Feixiao and Jiaoqiu’s mothers came over visibly in shock. They both hugged Jiaoqiu and Feixiao. Since Jiaoqiu had no physical injuries he was free to go home. Feixiao on the other hand stayed longer since she fought the man, they were trying to make sure she didn’t have any internal or external injuries.
On the car ride with his mom home the car was completely silent, Jiaoqiu could feel his mom’s looks towards him. It’s clear she wants to say something but she doesn’t know what to say. He’s never really seen his mom this shaken up. Jiaoqiu’s not surprised because who wouldn’t react like this if they saw their son with bloodstains in a house where a man tried to murder his own son.
Jiaoqiu felt numb again. He isn't surprised anymore over the fact that things can get worse from here.
“Hey mom, do you think Moze is okay? Aside from his aunt that lives in another country he doesn’t have any immediate family members here. I hope he isn’t alone right now.” Jiaoqiu says while staring out the window. He spoke up to slightly indicate to his mom that he's still here.
“I’m not sure…We can try seeing if we’re able to visit him once he’s stable if they’ll let us in.”
“Ha… we don’t even know what hospital he’s in and he doesn’t have a way to contact us.” Jiaoqiu drops his head from his hand, the realization seeping in. There’s a possibility for them to never see Moze again and whether he’s alive or not.
The rest of the car ride home was silent, neither of them wanted to speak.
——-
‘Ugh my stomach hurts so much…’ Moze thinks. He feels like he’s in a long dream where he can’t wake up at all, it’s lonely. He doesn't like this.
He tries to recall the last thing he can remember but his head is throbbing too much to continue.
‘Why can’t I feel my arms? What kind of dream is this?’ He thinks, confused about his surroundings.
‘Ah the last thing I remember is fighting with my dad… What happened after that though?’ He thinks all pensive. ‘Jiaoqiu and Feixiao were there… Wait, why were they there again? Did my dad fight them too?’ He suddenly feels anxious, he tries to recall more that had happened on that day. He remembers Jiaoqiu and Feixiao crying, why were they crying again? He suddenly feels a wet sensation around his stomach, he looks down and sees blood everywhere.
‘Am I dead? Did my life just end like that?’ He starts to feel alarmed over the situation. He feels a drop on his forehead. ‘Is my head bleeding too?’ He soon realizes that it’s not blood but in fact water. He feels more fall on his forehead. He hears a sound, it sounds like someone crying. His surroundings get brighter gradually.
Moze’s eyes fly wide open, he squints seconds after due to how bright the room is. The first person he sees is his aunt who looks like she’s been crying for days.
“…Auntie is that you…?” He says, his voice hoarse.
“Moze?” She says in a whisper. She reaches out to hug him but stops herself thinking she might hurt him.
A doctor comes back into the room, they check up on Moze and ask a couple of questions to his aunt not in English…? before letting him rest as they continue to monitor his vitals.
“I’m so sorry Moze I failed you, I failed you and your mother I should’ve taken you away from that man a long time ago.” She wipes her tears which doesn’t stop running. “You got hurt because of my negligence, I should've known.”
“Auntie it’s not your fault, If i had wanted to leave earlier I would’ve called you long ago, don’t blame yourself.”
“Why did you want to stay with him? I truly can’t understand.”
“I had some friends I didn’t want to leave, I knew if I told you what was going on you’d take me away and I wouldn't be able to see them anymore.” He says after drinking water, he has to get used to speaking again.
“By the way, what day is it?” He asks.
“We’re at the end of July, you've been in a coma for about two months.” She frowns. “When I got the call about what happened my heart stopped, I truly thought you were dead. If that had happened I would’ve never been able to face your mother.” She sniffs, trying not to cry again.
“I’m sorry for worrying you auntie.” Moze frowns, he feels bad making everyone worry about him. He thinks about his friends and how they must’ve been traumatized over what happened.
He takes a glance around his surroundings, he notices that the sign on his bed isn’t in English.
“Wait where are we?” Moze sits up only to grimace at the pain in his abdomen.
“I had you transferred over to China.”
His eyes widened “H-huh how? and when?”
“Once the case with that man was settled I arranged for you to leave, I’m sorry for not being there for you earlier.”
He just processed her words, that means he left Jiaoqiu and Feixiao without saying goodbye, they probably think he’s dead. But he’s always been a nuisance so maybe they’ll be fine without him…
“Um… what about my dad? Is he in jail?” He asks quietly.
“Yes, I got custody over you and he was taken to jail after he was healed up, I promise he won’t hurt you anymore.” She takes his hand with tears in her eyes again.
“Wait… I’ve been in a coma for two months?” He asks, for some reason it didn’t register in his head until now.
“Yes.” She looks like she’s about to cry again
‘Ah I missed Jiaoqiu’s graduation and Feixiao’s birthday. I hope they’re doing well.’ He thinks, feeling guilty over this.
Once she leaves Moze’s eyes move back to the ceiling. He needed to digest everything he just heard right now.
‘I’m glad that bastard is in jail, ugh I can’t believe those two saw me like this,’ He rubs his hands on his face. ‘I can’t believe I was in a coma for 2 months. Was my blood loss that bad? Ugh I'm tired of thinking of all this I’m gonna go back to bed.’ He gets himself comfortable and shuts his eyes.
Before he falls asleep a pang of guilt hits him. ‘I’m sorry Jiaoqiu and Feixiao for running away like this, we'll meet again someday.’ He thinks it’s probably the best thing for them all.