Chapter Text
Moonlight shines through the window patterned curtains, creating astral projections, adding a magical feel. The slight breeze brushes against the curtains, making a cacophony of swoosh sounds. On top of your desk lies a few textbooks neatly stacked and a table lamp. Clicking your pen over and over, you sigh and bang your head against the table. Why is this so harddddddd, you whine while crinkling the paper. With one last option left on the table, you knock on the wall and whisper.
“Mhmsnsm? You need help at this hourrrr? Gosh you’re so mysterious and vague…”
“I know you’re wide awake drawing, you always loudly grumble and scream into a pillow about it.”
“Okay, okay! Didn’t have to expose me for that… fine what’d ya need help with?”
“Do you… Ugh, I already hate this.”
“Hurry up! Don’t make me wait for long.”
“Hmmmmmm… Do you remember Toriel’s old diary? The one full of jokes in her room.”
A sound of agreement echoed back.
“I’ve been writing one as well. It would be of my upmost gratitude if you could… explain to me what was going on two years ago.”
“I don’t really pick up what you’re putting down.”
“You know what I’m talking about. I know something was up.”
Melancholic humming came from their side, then the shuffling of paper and pencils.
“Yeah. I’m not sure how this is any help but… You of all people know how different I acted back then. That voice was you, wasn’t it? Asriel is right?”
Nailed it. Trying to distract me isn’t going to work here coward.
“Yes it was.”
“Yeah! So you finally admit it, huh?”
“What you should admit to is being a liar. Everything you’ve done is just to trick us, isn’t it? Acting smug to make them forget your true nature, is that what you’re playing at!?”
“Man, are you always this paranoid? I mean of course you are but ever heard of thinking the best in people? It’s been 2 years Chara, I’ve grown a lot more comfortable around others. I just want to help you with that too…” They were planning to say another word before trailing off.
“Why would you want to help me, why would you want to help anyone? They tried to kill you for angel’s sake and I… Is it just a ruse to get me to like you to fuel your… I don’t know ego!”
There was a long, long pause.
“Because I felt bad, Chara! I’ve found myself thinking of another reason… but that doesn’t matter right now. You’re right, I am pretending.”
You can’t believe it, they just admitted it straight up. Your initial agitation dissipates as you click your pen furiously once more.
“Back then, I could feel my body moving on its own, the fatigue got to me so bad I couldn’t do anything. But what controlled me was just… way better at being me. They— I was confident, I faced dangers with a stone-cold face and I could get along with everyone no matter their previous opinion on me. When I first saw the light of the sun that day, my mind returned to me and my vision was no longer narrow. I could no longer see the numbers you gave me, I couldn’t hear your voice… I was worried, y’know?”
I already know this, this information is irrelevant. It’s clear they’re still hiding something. They dodged my questions like a bullet but I am satisfied with their compliance for now. It’s nice to learn more about them.
“Thank you for the insight.”
“What abou—“
“Goodnight, Frisk.”
————————————————————————
“Heya sans and Paps!” Frisk shouts, waving their hands in the air. Tonight, there was a once in a full moon, late-night event at Grillbys. To your dismay, Frisk and Toriel indefatigably insisted that you joined them with the two skeleton brothers. Though they were slightly hesitant on your reappearance in public, they figured a peaceful dinner out wouldn’t hurt. Oh yea Grillby does dinners now, his establishment decided to broaden their horizons.
Night-time Grillbys had a completely different vibe to it. Instead of the uneven and cranky wooden tables, they were covered in white spotless sheets. Laid out on the sheets were stainless utensils, salt and pepper shakes and a small plate of salted peanuts. The usual wall lamps dimmed down to make space for the glittering chandelier and scented candles. Heck, they even managed to get the boombox working. Though, classical music isn’t exactly your taste. Overall, the sharp contrast in atmosphere was jarring, Grillbys really outdid himself.
Plopped and sandwiched between Frisk and Toriel on the connected chair, you try to get more breathing room. Right across you three were Papyrus and ugh… sans.
Even though you always confined yourself in your room whenever they visited, you could always hear them. Loud-mouthed papyrus would shout messages even houses across the neighbourhood could hear. Lackadaisical sans would say witty puns through his comically toothy smile, starting a cacophony of laughter.
You know that isn’t all to him. You of all people know very well. Does he?
“so, come ‘ere often?” “SANS NO TIME FOR CHIT-CHAT, WE HAVE TO ORDER THE RACING CAR SET MEAL!” Their usual bickering came at that pace, one could barely speak without the other quickly following up. They practically suited each other… a strange feeling gnaws at your heart. Frisk and Toriel could barely keep themselves contained as they threw into a fit of giggles at these foolish antics.
“HEY, OTHER FRISK, WHAT’S YOUR PERSONAL PREFERENCE?” Papyrus suddenly asks you directly. “mhm…” you reply, not even bothering to correct or look at him. Despite how dense he looks, Papyrus picked up your message and boomed, “HMMM… IT SEEMS THIS HUMAN MAY ALSO NEED THE SPECIAL PAPYRUS ENCOURAGEMENTS! NO NEED TO FEAR US MONS-“ Your face morphs into a grimace at the accusation. The sudden shift of attention drives you up a wall.
“No, no, no! They’re quite fond of monsterkind usually… They’re just going through some problems as of late,” Toriel corrected with a slight tinge of apprehension in her voice.
“hey, I get it kid. don’t ya worry, you’ll find some light at the end of the tunnel soon. whether it’s a train or not, cheer up a little cranky-face,”sans advises, shrugging his shoulders. What does HE know?… That brainless skeleton never does anything by himself. You scoff in defiance in which Frisk lightly nudges you and you hiss in response.
In a constant state of motion, Papyrus and sans point fingers at each other while laughing their heads off. That bile takes root within you. Snapped out of your thoughts, Toriel passes you a leather cased menu, with “MENU” written in a fancy font. However, the cover was a facade and opening the menu would reveal the same stained pages served during the day. After you continuously point at the hot chocolate and everyone picks their option, sans pipes up, “guess ya can’t judg-“
You tuned that voice out. sans’ jokes may be nice for a while but too much can be lethal. You know well enough by now that this would start a familiar pattern in which Toriel, sans and Frisk would crack jokes at each other. Resulting in thunderous giggling in the likes of gossiping teenage girls. Then, you would hear a “STOP THIS NONSENSICAL NONSENSE!!” that sent the crowd bubbling with laughter. That was the skeleton brothers after all. The comedic duo that never failed to brighten Tor- the residents of snowdin’s day.
Unsurprisingly, that exact sequence of events occured, prompting you to pull out the tiny notebook you packed into your sweater beforehand. Usually to distract yourself from noise, you would direct your attention to writing. It was pretty much the only way you’ve survived until now. Rummaging through your pocket for it, you open it inside-out to reveal nothing but dust and stapler clips. You already knew who the culprit was.
Underneath the table, you forcibly kick Frisk and whisper into their ear. “where the hell did you put my notebook,” you softly say as Frisk groans in pain. Their once sunny expression creasing into one of guilt. With their mouth shifting into an awkward smile and eyebrows furrowed. You brace yourself for the raging fury that was about to crash into your body.
“I… kinda pocketed it from your sweater cause I was curious… and uh forgot to put it back. Hah, sorry…”
You would say many things. You want to say so many things. Perhaps a string of curses, insults and threats. But, you decided to stop yourself. You wouldn’t want Toriel to be disappointed with your appearance. So with a strained, superficial smile, you kick Frisk under the table again, leaving a slight bruise on their sandy skin. You’ll deal with them later. Those artificial apologies aren’t getting them out of the misdeed this time. Frisk pouts their lips.
After a prolonged, tortuous, considerably long period of time passed, your meals finally arrived served by the man himself. Grillbys was not only wearing a high-quality and well-tailored suit, he was also well-mannered. A little over dramatic, but it adds a flair. You each receive your own plate, sans with a plate of fish and chips, papyrus with a plate of spaghetti (or more likely spiced pasta), Toriel with ((I have no idea)), Frisk with a plate of steak and you…
You don’t order a lot, maybe just small sandwiches are good enough. Ever since your revival, your appetite remains stagnant and low. At first, you even considered not finishing the sandwiches. Though, Toriel intensely eyeing you must’ve sealed the deal.
Papyrus glowers at his pasta and inspects it thoroughly, picking apart small leaves and brought one strand to his mouth. Holding it in the air vertically, the strand fell into his mouth right as he opened it. Interestingly, he gritted his teeth, making grinding sounds that make you want to rip out your ears while pondering deeply.
Then, his face lit up. “HM… HIGH QUALITY I MUST SAY… EVEN IF QUANTITY IS BETTER! I’D SAY YOU DID A FANTASTIC JOB GRILLBY,” he excitedly bellows. Frantically, he holds onto his fork and swirls all of the pasta strands, combining them into one sickly being. Still with his fork on the plate, he brings it to his mouth, drops it and gulps it whole. You wondered for a brief second how this was possible then remembered that he was a skeleton.
This habit unlocked a memory within you. Previously, you never paid any mind to Asriel’s eating habits. Now, it’s one of the only things you have left. From the way he would eat his noodles because he never learnt how to use chopsticks to constantly performing at the dining table, trying to impress Mother and Father. It was like running a show and he was the comedic lead. You let out a soft chuckle.
Frisk and Toriel laugh in amusement as well. Frisk attempting to imitate Papyrus using their hands. Of course, Papyrus accepts the praise and attention, bowing his head dramatically, how pompous. sans, like the brother he is, pats him on the back with a proud smile. Your shoulders tense as flashing memories of Asgore and Asriel haunt you.
“It couldn’t have been that hilarious,” you impulsively grumble, crossing your legs. It wasn’t until you saw disappointed faces surrounding you did realise they could hear you. What do they know… Ugh.
Shifting uncomfortably, Papyrus nervously asks, “OTHER FRISK- CHARA. DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME?” Not you specifically, Idiot.
“What if I do? You’re quite immature and annoying, reminds me of a crybaby I used to know,” you shot back acerbically. It was an especially unprovoked and unfiltered response from you but then again it was to be expected. The idea did hold valid merit however, Papyrus is a wimp without his brother at his side. Way too reliant.
Papyrus of course doesn’t take this well, having a huge blow to his ego. His arms were hanging weightlessly and his mouth creased into a frown. Toriel doesn’t have the best reaction either, she narrows her eyes at you while keeping her performative smile.
Papyrus thinks solemnly for a minute before his eyes practically pop out and he pleads, “I SEE. WELL, WOULD YOU LIKE SOME PEPPER? I HOPE THIS MAKES UP FOR MY HUMOROUS LACKINGS.” His sad attempt at a friendly gesture made a part of your mind feel guilty. Well, too late to back out now, the rest of your mind insists. That bile in your throat aches and yearns for justice.
Without a moments notice, you crossly kick the table leg with a wide smile spread across your face. That one singular shutter sent the table shaking, dropping glasses and utensils. Frisk frantically tries to save them but to no avail, Papyrus is stuck stunned at your horrid act. Oddly enough, sans stays quiet and still, the quietest he’s ever been. He knows that smile.
“Chara Dreemurr, what is up with you! Where are your manners as of late! ” Toriel nastily scolds. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes until her tone softens and she continues, “I thought you could handle it… After yesterday, I was so sure that you’d finally figure your life out. I suppose I was wrong.”
That silenced you for a moment. You could feel a surge of shame flow into your veins. That tone… you already knew how emotional Toriel can act but this was clearly more than just today.
With a hand to her snout, she exempts herself from the scene, “Excuse me, I may have to take a short leave to the… bathroom. I will be back within a duly’s notice.” Still left at a loss for words, you stare as Toriel fretfully exits Grillbys, her heavy footsteps pounding on the hard wooden floor.
The table was once again met with silence. sans still hasn’t spoken a word, no comforting, no jokes, no trying to ease the tension. What is his game at? His uncanny smile remains unaffected, not even a slight change of expression throughout the chain of events. Mingling with their fingers unsettlingly, Frisk perked, “How ‘bout we go get some ice cream, Paps? Heard they have the new Cherry Ripple Chocolate Cornflake Waffle Crunch flavour!”
Now, that brought a slight curve to Papyrus’ mouth. They always know the right thing to say, don’t they? Leaping out of their seats, Papyrus and Frisk march their way out of Grillbys. Frisk left their unfinished food to rot, getting colder by the second. As Frisk sits on Papyrus’ shoulders, they turn around to sign sonething to sans. Unfortunately, that left only you and sans at the table, sitting laterally across each other.
You could feel the lights dim as darkness encompasses you. Still with that cold stare, Sans looks through you, his left flashing a blue flame. You draw in sharp breaths, your muscles twitching as you anticipate it.
But yet… His pupils returned as he sighed, pushing away the half eaten fries, and noticeably untouched fish. “look kid. I dunno what happened then. I can make as many guesses as I want but nothing will come of it. You know what you did and that’s all that matters. You should really get a move on in life,” Sans wearily continues, “Papyrus and Frisk haven’t done a thing to ya. What exac—“ “It’s not that,” you snappily interrupt, biting your tongue harshly.
Your heart filled with trepidation, you lower your voice and mumble, “I’m not angry about that! Frisk didn’t… I didn’t… You— I. Don’t mention that ever again, please.” You slam your fist onto the table, the result of the impact sending utensils and plates through the air.
Sans until now has been composed. In juxtaposition to your explosion, he sits in his spot reserved and collected. “That doesn’t matter to me. A long time ago, I judged a meek kid in a golden hallway, they may have charmed others to reach here but I knew better. It was obviously just a ruse but what for? That information got me nowhere but threatenin’ children. You know Frisk better than anyone else can. It’s time ya grew up with ‘em,” sans chastises while playing with a singular fry. Still not what I’m upset about, then again I don’t know exactly either.
Slitting your eyelids, you glower wordlessly at sans, that stupid bile blocking any sound from coming out. Frustrated, you turn to the hazy window to see Papyrus and Frisk strolling on the pavement. You let out a sigh of anguish as sans stares alongside you, scratching his smooth head. “maybe one day you’ll get a brother as cool as paps for ya’self. i’m sure they won’t be bone-tired of ya anytime soon,” sans jesters before a deep understanding shone in his pupils. To your surprise, a snort arises from you at sad attempt at a pun.
“nah, I’m just ribbin’ ya.”
“Don’t you have a brother to cheer up with these knee-slappers?”
“nah, no need to be worried, paps is too good for your small pranks. he’s just a little sensitive but theres nothin’ he’s never pushed through before. he’s friendly like that.”
“hey look, cal-see ‘em run.”
Before you processed his words, Frisk and Papyrus bust through the doors, sending a heavy gust of wind enough to mess your hair. On Papyrus’ shoulders, Frisk held a mouthful of ice cream cones in one hand. It was a pretty cold night but you could already see the ice cream dripping and staining the floors. Papyrus hyperventilated rapidly as he put Frisk down and bended to his knees, catching his breath. Beads of sweat trickle down his skull as Frisk passes him a chocolate ice cream cone. It was marvellous to say the least. Wafer cones, pokey sticks and a cherry were decorated on top the two scoops, glazed with chocolate syrup and a pinch of cinnamon.
Enamoured by the sugary sight, your hands grip at your pants, resisting the urge. “HERE, CHARA. I ASKED FRISK ON WHAT YOU LIKED SO I GOT YOU THIS!” He announced with his chest sticking outward while thrusting his arm towards you, a delightful dessert in hand. Your hands instinctively pounce to grab it but stop abruptly. Mustering up your courage, you mutter, “Thanks a lot for this. I appreciate you.” Steely warmth shone in Papyrus’ eyes as he took in the gratitude. Soaking up the sweet moment, you swiped the ice cream from his hand. You could feel Frisk’s proud smirk just behind Papyrus as you gradually lick your ice cream.
In the nick of time, Toriel renters Grillbys, her emotions seemingly washed away and her composure clinging together. You caught a glimpse of her in the sidelines, sombrely smiling as you tease the three with chocolate caking your lips. It brings you back to a memory. Laughing and joking affectionately with the Dreemurr family at the dining table over the most minute of details. Jabs and nudges at each other as you all disgustingly talk with food in your mouth. You couldn’t bring yourself to care about your impressions anymore. The bile plaguing your mind now eviscerated into dust. This was what fun felt like, wasn’t it? I’m… feeling it right now.
“I suppose we must be done now, it is getting relatively dark. I hope you two had a great time with mr sans and Papyrus. It seems my earlier statement was proven incorrect.”
“Wait, we haven’t finished our meals yet!”
“DO NOT FRET MY DEAR FRIEND! I’LL JUST KEEP THESE IN MY HAIRY REFRIGERATOR FOR NEXT TIME!”