Chapter Text
A couple of weeks had passed since Herman and Robert's adventure into what-the-fuck-can-a-Waterboy-even-eat had occurred, and only a couple things had changed. Robert had encouraged Herm to bring his specific food with him on outings regardless of how much he thought he'd be made fun of for it, and Robert kept finding tupperware labeled "ROBERT" in the fridge that he didn't put there. It usually contained the delicious spicy zucchini noodles, but there was the occasional variance between styles as well.
And today was, unfortunately, another day where the two of them had about ten minutes to eat. Herman rushed into the break room, finding Robert reheating his noodles, and grabbed his usual three protein drinks. Crap, he had to buy more after today. Luckily for him, his zucchini noodles were a cold dish. He would opt to skip lunch, but his high metabolism demanded he eat at minimum three meals a day, in which he usually ate four.
"Thanks for the noodles again," Robert started. "You know, you don't have to-"
He interrupted him between a swig of kind of gross protein drink, grabbing a fork to quickly eat his Greek noodles. It had some olives, cucumber, tomatoes, and surprisingly good plant-based feta that didn't bother his digestion. "If not f-for me, you wouldn't be, y-you wouldn't eat." He finished his first vanilla flavored protein drink, tossed it in the trash, and threw noodles in his mouth. Robert had finished microwaving his noodles and was doing the same.
For about five minutes, it was the two of them quickly eating their zucchini noodles, with Robert rushing because he had to dispatch in five minutes, and Herman rushing because he actually cared about his job. A moment later, Alice and Chad had rushed in to grab their lunch to eat as well.
"Can't believe this shit, I only got five fucking minutes to- now what the hell is that delicious ass food I'm smelling?" Alice had yelled, immediately looking over Robert's shoulder. His noodles had piqued the interest of Chad as well, who had joined her in inspecting the noodles.
Robert had nearly finished his noodles. Herm had finished his other two protein drinks, not wanting to mix the gross flavors with the delicious food. "It's uh… they're zucchini noodles with, uh… shit, what the hell are in these again, Herman?"
And now everyone was looking at him. And by everyone he meant everyone on the team. When the hell had everyone gotten here? His face flushed in embarrassment. "It's, u-uh… they're z-zucchini noodles, with, wit-h uh, a spicy peanut sau- peanut sauce. And tofu."
There was a curious aaaah from the crowd. "What the fuck is a zucchini noodle?" came an aggressive Irish voice.
Robert seemed to decide that he was going to answer the questions so he can eat his mountain of food in peace. "They're noodles made from zucchini, genius." He had gotten up and decided to refill his coffee mug again. "Herm's got a kinda wack diet, so he eats plant-based stuff. He can really cook."
"Oh, I see how it is now," Alice responded. "Robert gets these good ass noodles for free, and we get nothing!" The team began to heckle around him, all seemingly pissed of they don't get plant based noodles too. What the hell was happening.
"Wh- I- Uh-" he sputtered in response. He managed to finish his noodles, but at what cost? "H-He doesn't eat! Unless I, he doesn't feed him, himself-"
They were definitely going to be late back to shift at this rate. Robert must have sensed this, because he started shooing the team away from the break room, to no success. "Alright, alright, now get back out there."
"I can… I can m-make you, you all food! If, uh. If you w-want me too," he found himself saying. He learned a valuable lesson that day: don't make promises to the Z-Team unless you want to continue keeping those promises until the day you die. He took out his phone which was in a Ziploc bag, carefully opened it, and took out his stylus so he could actually type. "I-I need a list of allergies, and, spice tolerance, th-though…"
The team cheered up at that, happy to get a free delicious meal. "Fucking Christ, alright, when you give Herm your allergies you're immediately going back on the field. Let's get this done quick, we're over time already." Herman frantically pulled up his notes app, trying desperately to not get water on his phone.
"Herm, you real as fuck for this," Alice said as she told him her allergies. Herm had a long night of cooking after this.
"Th-This is a one time thing!" he clarified. He did not have the money to do this every day. One extra meal was fine, but ten? No way.
"Yeah, we got it. A once a week thing," Victor responded.
@)---'--,---
This is definitely not happening again, Herm thought to himself as he hauled the two Walmart bags into the SDN building. He trudged up the stairs, past the locker room, and into the breakroom to throw all his tupperware into the fridge.
There was his and Roberts, which were the regular spicy peanut noodles with tofu. Then he put in Chad's and Malevola's, which were extra spicy peanut noodles. Then there were Bruno and Phenomaman's which were no spice, Alice's which were no peanuts (he subbed the peanut sauce for a teriyaki sauce, which was allergen friendly), Colm's which were no tofu extra sauce because he "didn't eat that kind of stuff," and finally Courtney Victor and Janelle's, which were normally made. He had to dirty a lot of pots and pans, but he still found it worth it just to bring his teammates a good meal. Half of them didn't eat lunch along with Robert anyway. And then, of course, he threw in his three nasty protein drinks.
@)---'--,---
Finally, lunch had arrived, and he was thankful he had thirty minutes to eat. Herm went to the breakroom to open the fridge and got jumpscared by the sheer amount of tupperware there were. Oh, right. He grabbed his tupperware and his protein drinks and decided to eat his cold.
"Alright, where are my noodles at Herm?" came Courtney. She looked in the fridge to also be jumpscared by the ludicrous amount of tupperware.
Herm took a bite of his noodles. Delicious as always. "Th-they're labeled, with the uh, tape on them. S-some of them are a little smeared." Oh god, here came the rest of the team. Courtney began putting the boxes aside that weren't hers, which ended up being passed around to their respective person.
"Whoa, party in here," Robert said squeezing in the door. Truth be told the break room was a little too small for their shenanigans. "Do I get noodles too?"
"Yep, here," Malevola said passing him a tupperware.
After a couple moments, everyone had gotten their noodles, and the break room was filled with quiet munching. Half of them opted to warm them up, and half of them just ate it cold. That is, until Phenomaman lifted his head from his tupperware.
"Herman, these Asian-style zucchini noodles with no chili oil may be the best food I have eaten on this planet Earth."
The breakroom was then filled with laughter and agreement. Herman couldn't help but crack a shy smile, happy that his teammates were finally eating something slightly nutritious for once.