Chapter Text
Will walked up the tight stairwell of his aging building, it was a prewar 5th floor walk-up, when he’d first moved to the city with Mike they didn’t mind the stairs; but nine years of stairs was still a lot. It was home, and it was safe. Just being within the brick walls, he felt safe from the outside world, but he knew that he would feel even better once he was snug inside of his small bedroom. His, well theirs. Sometimes he couldn’t believe that he was able to live with Mike, as if it wasn’t just a dream of his as a teenager, this was real, and it was happening to him. As he dragged himself up the remaining floors, the tightness within his body slowly started to release, and as he slid his key in the door, he could take a breath.
As he opened the door he was greeted by the warmth that always radiated out of their home, their home, Will always felt giddy when he thought about it. Taking a breath, and relaxing his body for the first time all day, he moved into the small shared space. Placing his work bag and shoes next to the door, he could hear the quiet hum of Radiohead coming from their bedroom.
“Michael”, Will spoke into the soft hum as he walked through the doorway of their shared bedroom. “Hm” Mike turned around to face Will, he always looked slightly older on Mondays, as if the relaxation from the weekend was all but massacred by the hordes of 16 year olds Mike taught. Will moved forward toward the desk where Mike’s grading lived, “I missed you.” Will let the words flow out of his body as the four walls around them comforted him just as well as any hug could. Will liked moments like these, just the two of them; safe and together.
Collapsing on top of the perfectly made bed, Will let out a content noise safe and at home he thought. He loved being close in this way, just being near Mike was enough for him, never mind the fact that he got to have a life with Mike. “How was your journey today?” Mike spoke, not looking up from his current grading victim. Mike would try and ask questions everyday, Will knew he meant well, but the bile of anxiety rose in his stomach as he thinked about being outside. Will didn’t think there was an issue with liking to be home, where it is safe. “It was… okay, my phone died before I got on the train home.” He closed his eyes as he talked, it felt like somebody was punching him in the abdomen repeatedly. He was safe, he was home, he didn’t want to think about outside. His hands started to tingle, like they did when he started to panic, Will’s eyes snapped open, if he looked at the four walls of their room it would stop, it had to. “And how did that make you feel?” Mike turned in his chair, looking at Will square in the face. How did it make him feel? Godawful, but he couldn’t say that. It was something silly, he survived the journey home, he lived to tell the tale, and he made it home.
Sighing as he turned to look at Mike, their eyes locking just for a moment before Will clamped his own tightly shut, “It was okay” a moment passed, “I mean, I’m here… aren’t I?” he let out a laugh that had no joy behind it. Mike made a small “Hm”, and rose from his chair. Moving slowly toward where Will lay with his eyes clamped shut, and palms so sweaty. “Can I join you here, William?” Will nodded, eyes still closed, but a ghost of a smile on his lips. It was so silly that being called his full name made the punches in his stomach turn to a swarm of butterflies.
Feeling the mattress dip beside him, Will opened his eyes just slightly. The mess of dark hair making a home on the pillow beside him, he tried to forget about the fact that their outside clothes were touching their clean bedsheets, just the top blanket, his brain tried to remind him. Will spoke softly, his voice cracking as he tried to get his words out, “Thank you for being here.” His face heated up as soon as the words left his mouth. He always felt so silly when he wore his heart on his sleeve, Mike knew him, and had known him for over a decade. Sometimes he couldn’t believe how lucky he had been to meet Mike, his Michael.
Growing up in the same rural small town had been awful, but at least they always knew where the other was coming from. When they had met in the film club in the 11th grade, Will could have never imagined what Michael Wheeler would become for him. Hawkins was not a safe and accepting place, and the entire town and all of its inhabitants had clocked Will’s queerness from the moment he could form a sentence. It was a miserable adolescence, a miserable life. He’d read in the newspaper on the breakfast table about how there were people like him, and they lived not great lives, but better than he had in Hawkins. So he set goals, he wanted to get the best grades he could, he joined art club, and film club, he did everything he could so he could get the hell out of here.
Meeting Michael Wheeler was just a bonus.
“Whats going on in that pretty head of yours?” Mike spoke softly, moving his face closer towards Will’s. “Thinking about how much I love you.” Will said honestly, opening his eyes, meeting Mikes. “Hm, I suppose I love you too” Will raised his eyebrows at this, “You suppose do you?” He let out a laugh as he said it, a real laugh this time. “No, I know I do.” Mike smiled as he said, “God why are you so cheesy today.” Will spoke as he turned onto his side, still looking at Mike. Mike just smiled, “I like making you laugh when I know you had a bad day.” Will didn’t know how he always did what he did, how he could just look at Will and read his mind, or was he just so easy to read that Mike’s years of practice paid off; he could never be sure.
Will sighed, “It wasn’t… It wasn’t that bad, I mean Janet didn’t even force lunchtime chats today, so honestly it might have been a neutral day.” Neutral day his ass, he’d bitten all of his nails down to the quick while he rode the subway home, and he knew that Mike would know, all of his progress, bitten away. “William… Will… Tell the truth.” He spoke back his voice soft in a way that it only ever is for Will, lifting up his hand and moving it to play with the hair on the side of Will’s face. Will blushed deep ruby at this, being caught was always embarrassing, but he just didn’t want Mike to worry. Will took a breath, “It just.. Sucks.” He began biting his lip, “It's embarrassing to feel so anxious and upset over nothing all of the time, I only feel okay here, with you.” Mike smiled gently as he continued to play with Will’s hair. “It's not nothing, not if it's bothering you, that is” he cleared his throat as he continued, “I like being here with you too, but I worry about you everyday because I know how hard it is for you to even leave the house now. It worries me, because I love you.” Will, of course, objectively knew this, they had been together for 15 years, and lived together for 12 of them. But hearing it made him feel knots in his stomach, he didn’t want to feel like he was trapped inside their apartment together, but outside was so scary.
Before everything happened, they used to go out on dates weekly, they would go grocery shopping, go to the park for dinner, walk around the streets of Manhattan and just window shop for hours on end. That all ended when the world ended, it wasn’t safe. The fear was immediate, Will’s building was closed for two weeks while they did safety checks of every floor, so for two weeks straight Will sat in their small living room. The 24 hour access to cable news probably didn’t help. But outside was scary, deadly, horrifying things happened so close to where Will spent eight hours a day, he couldn’t help but feel scared.
The panic attacks started as soon as they recalled the staff, the building didn’t maintain any structural damage, and the air, well lets just say it was still as if a chimney was in Manhattan, but he couldn’t worry about that for long. The pressure to return was too great, and Will knew he had to, but that didn’t help calm his mind. Nothing did, except of course the four walls around him. That’s when it started, at least that's when Mike noticed the shift in tone about leaving the house, about going anywhere at all. After nearly four years, Will remained, stagnant with the same four walls.
“Do you, do you want dinner? I can make us something?” Will opened his eyes, looking across the still made sheets at Mike, “You’re going to make something Michael?” He tried to keep in a laugh as he said it. Mike huffed out a fake annoyance, “Yes, William I can make us dinner sometimes” Mike replied back quickly, with not an ounce of malice in his voice.
“I would like that, a lot.”
They migrated to their too small kitchen, Will setting up shop at their small breakfast table, looking intensely at Mike. It was always fun to just look at him. He had changed so much, they both had, but it always felt like Mike changed more as if he had finally grown into the person he was always supposed to become, it just took a while to get there. It was always pleasant in these moments, being able to share silence together without feeling the need to fill it with conversation just for the hell of it. The silence lasted several minutes before Mike softly opened his mouth, “You know, Will, um, they’re opening a new Korean grocery store 3 blocks from here, and I was wondering if you’d like to come with me.” Will paused for a moment, the anxiety in his chest returning on full blast. “I’m not… I’m not sure Mike, maybe you can just go and tell me about it, you know I’m just so tired when I get home.” Will laughed but his eyes remained panicked, like he was begging for his excuse to stick. Mike let out the smallest sigh, one that nobody else would have noticed, but Will knew how Mike breathed like his own.
“Okay Will, I can tell you about it.”