Chapter Text
Todd's pov
_________
January
" I am that merry wanderer of the night.
I jest to Oberon and make him smile "
I mouth the words as Neil recites them- I know he doesn't need my help, but just in case.
" When I a fat and bean-fed horse beguile. "
I laugh alongside the other boys, I remember helping him memorize,
I always laughed at that one.
The only bad memories of Neil I have are when his dad was over, or when I was too shy to even breathe.
"He doesn't want any visitors." The nurse stated, not glancing up at me and the others. Not even hesitating.
I stare at her, my heart clenching.
Had I done something wrong?
"No– no, that has to be a mistake," I insisted, pushing Nuwanda off of me. "Did you tell him that its the Dead Poets Society?"
"No-"
"Thaen do! He'll want us-" I can hear the other boys trying to shush me. I can hear my own desperation. "Please! Tell him its the Dead Poets Society!"
The nurse rolls her eyes but goes to do it, muttering something about 'he's not gonna change his mind'.
I bite my cheek, i want to just go into the room anyways. But I don't.
Time seems to pass slowly. Im constantly fidgeting, leg bouncing, biting my nails, things id forgotten to do since Neil entered my life.
Carpe diem?
"He still doesnt want anyone."
Something in me collapsed.
I may as well be dead.