Chapter Text
It had only been a month since the incident, for the most part everything seem to be slowly getting back to normal. Steve even though he was mad about needing to do tune-ups on the S-1 earlier than he could have liked, but really he was just glad everyone had made it back safe. Even if he didn’t always know how to show it.
Arthur was still on bed rest and probably would be there for another month if he wasn’t careful. With Grandsanta's head injury, bryony twisted ankle and dislocated shoulder. Arthur had somehow managed to get the worst of it. From something minor as a bruised back and twisted ankle, to actually serious medical issues like cracked ribs and a fever that spiked 110.
*That first week*
Those first days had been the worst in Steve’s life. Watching as the medical elves run themselves ragged tending to Arthur. Arthur struggling to even stay conscious enough to answer their questions. They had poked and prodded him so much he would cry at any slight touch, being so delirious he couldn’t tell who’s hand were who’s.
By day 3 Steve was ashamed to say he finally lost his cool. He wanted to busy himself with fixing his S1, updating the security system, anything so he wouldn’t have to think about his frail brother suffering in bed. After another failed attempt at distraction himself, he had sighed in frustration before throwing the wrench he been working with.
“Oh Steve dear are you alright? I heard a crashing sound.” Margaret walked into the room worried her oldest had hurt himself.
“Yes mother, I’m alright. I just lost my grip on the wrench” lied pointing to said wrench.
Margaret looked at him, her worry still not alleviated.
Walking over to her son. She could see how tried he looked, how disheveled his hair had gotten. His usually well kept goatee now looked more like a messy beard rather than the signature tree shaped.
“Oh honey, when was the last time you slept?” she asked placing her hand on his cheek, watching as he relaxed into the touch.
“There’s too much to do right now.” He sounded so tired.
“Steve honey, you need to sleep. There’s nothing so important that can’t waiting till morning.” She rubbed his head, she knew the tricks that always got him to sleep.
Steve was wise to his mother’s tricks and quickly sat up.
“Maybe, but I can’t take that chance. I’m sorry but I need to get back to work” Turning back to his work bench, half finished projects and blue prints littered the table.
“And what are you working on exactly?” She looked over one of the blueprints, understanding it was some update for the S1, maybe smaller version of the flight craft.
Steve didn’t answer just looking forward, his mind drifting to that night.
“Steve you can’t blame yourself for what happened. None of us knew what was going to happen.” Margaret place her hand on his back rubbing softly.
He let out a broken sigh, his hands began shaking and vision blurred. Touching his cheeks finding them wet from tears, this feeling so foreign to him. He hadn’t allowed himself to cry such in a long time he didn’t know what to do.
“Oh my poor baby” Margaret pulled him into a hug, holding him as tight as she could, her own eyes filled with tears. “Let it out, let it out.”
Steve hiccupped, burying his face fully in his mother’s blouse. Letting out all those pent up feelings he didn’t allow himself to feel that anger he had for everyone that night, including himself.
If is father had just admitted he messed up instead of trying to pushing it all on him. If he hadn’t tried to take the S1 without even knowing how to operate it, damaging it and costing them time. If Grandsanta hadn’t been so focused on his glory days he’d never had taken advantage Arthur’s need to help. If he had listened to Steve and retire his sleigh they wouldn’t had even had a way of leaving.
And Arthur….If Arthur wouldn’t have been so hardheaded and gullible to fall for Grandsanta’s lie, so determined to get that one child her gift. If he didn’t believe someone hard in the magic of Santa he’d never would had been attacked by a maniac with a gun, wild animals, stranded on an island. He’d never almost be beheaded by a runaway sleigh, or had been shot down by the military. If he hadn’t done all that he wouldn’t be in the hospital fighting for his life, but there was a chance that if he hadn’t done all that a child might had lost hope in the Christmas all together. Knowing Arthur that would cause the same amount of pain he’s feeling like right now.
And Steve, if Steve hadn’t left his own stubborn and hardheadedness get in the way he could had found a way to get that gift to her. If he had listened to Arthur when he asked for help he wouldn’t had to wait to track is location. If he had just been a better brother he wouldn’t still be having nightmares about the blown up sleigh and losing half his family in one go.
He let out another cry, those events still fresh in his mind. Clinging on to his mother tight like he was a child again. He was so worried about both those idiots, Grandsanta was slowly making improvements to his memory but he still had ways to go, but Arthur still had such a high fever that wasn’t going down fast enough.
“Shhh isn’t ok, it’ll be ok” Margaret did her best to soothe her son, she wish she could just gather both her son’s in her arms and never let go. The best she could do was hold on for dear life while the figure out what to do next.
“Mom I’m so worried about him” he hiccupped sounding more like a child than the leader of the Claus army, but he didn’t care he was safe in his mother’s arms. It was ok to break down that wall he built so long ago.
“mom he’s always been so fragile and now he’s in that bed fighting. And I can’t do anything to help him.” He looked at his mother finally facing her. “He’s in pain and I can’t make it go away. I feel so helpless.”
Margaret held her son tighter, she felt the same way as him. He youngest is so much pain and there was nothing any of them could do. She wanted to fall apart, but she couldn’t her boy needed her and she needed to be strong. She needed to keep it together, at least in front of her boy. If she happened to cry into her husband’s arms later tonight that was nobody’s business but her own.
“If I had been a better brother none of this would had happened. If I just taken the stupid craft, if I had just gone myself. If I wasn’t so focused on getting something I’m not even sure I really wanted” he wept miserably “If I had been a better brother”
“Steve, no don’t say that” holding his face in her warm hand. “Steve I need you to really listen to me, ok?”
He nodded, leaning into the warmth of his mother’s hands.
“None of this is yours, your father’s or Grandsanta’s and especially not Arthur’s. This was a very unfortunate series of events that led to this. If you had taken the S1 maybe it would had went smoothly or it could had blow something getting there. You father could had taken that present, but he could had also trip and hurt himself delivering it.”
“We can’t focus on what ifs, it will do nothing but stop you from growing. Steve you can’t hold on to all that pain, it will eat you alive.” Kissing his forehead hoping he understood what she meant.
“But mom I’m still so worried. I don’t know what to do” he began shaking.
“Steve, have you been to visit Arthur recently?” Margaret knew the answer but she still wanted to hear it.
“I-I haven’t had the time. I-I was working out the kinks for the S-2 an-and I just haven’t found the time” He turned his back to her, he didn’t want to deal with the look she’d no doubt give him.
“Steve, honey I think you sho-”
“I can’t!” He slammed his hands down, getting up to walk away from the conversation.
“Steve” She grabbed his arm stopping him in his tracks.
“I can’t. I can’t see him like that.” He sobbed.
He still remembered the last time he was him, laying there in the bed so helpless. Whining at every touch, and Steve unable to do anything but watch it happen. He hasn’t been back since.
“Steve, I think I would be good for you to see him. At least see that he’s here. He’s here and not out there somewhere lost.”
Margaret tried gently squeezing his arm to keep him grounded while she talked.
“I don’t think I can mother. I’m sorry.” Taking his arm back, signaling he was done talking.
“OK dear, I understand.” She sighed, holding her hands to regain her composure. Turning to leave but not before she got another word in.
“You should know Steve, he’s asked for you. Every time he regained consciousness he asked for you. I think he’s worried he’s upset you somehow.” She then left without another word.
Once the door was completely shut his needs collapsed from underneath him, silently crying once more.
*Later that night*
It took all his courage to make his way to the medical wing, standing outside the door but unable to move another inch.
‘just open the door. You’ve come all this way, just open the damn door!’ His hands wouldn’t move, his feet firmly planted on the ground.
‘He asks for you’ Margaret’s words echo in his head. ‘I think you see should go see him’
‘Come one man, stop being a coward and move!’ gritting his teeth he swung the door open before he could second guess himself.
The sound shocked the view elves that stayed late to watch the injured.
“Oh sir, Good evening. We weren’t expecting anyone visitors tonight.” The main medical officer adjusted his glasses.
“Yes, I’ll admit it was a last minute decision.” He tried to sound normal but his eyes were already scanning the room. Looking for that familiar tuff of brown hair.
“Well it’s a good thing you arrived when you did. I assume you’re here to see Arthur.” He spoke already walking towards the private rooms.
“Yes, I wanted to see how he was doing today.” He was still scanning the rooms as they walked by, steadying his nerves with each step. Then he remembered what the officer just said.
“Why did you say it was good I came when I did? Is there something wrong?” He panicked, was Arthur hurt? Did he need surgery, did his fever spike again? What was happening his his little brother.
“Oh no nothing like that sir.” He chuckled waving off his fears. “Because of all the bumps and bruises. Not to mention that fever is still too high for our liking.” They came to a quiet room tucked away in the corner, lights already turned low.
Steve stepped ahead pulling the curtain back, the room filled with light. There he finally saw him, laying there still being tended to by the other elves. His eyebrows knitted in discomfort, teeth gritting so hard Steve feared he’d crack a tooth.
His feet moved on their own, side stepping any lingering elves that in his way. Once he made it to the bed he really got a good look at him brothers injuries.
His face that had swelling was alright gone down. He couldn’t see if torso but he could assume the bruises were still there and as painful. Look towards his feet he saw the ankle being elevated but pillows, the only minor injury Steve could see.
Arthur’s breathing was a bit ragged, no doubt from the cracked rib and flu combination he had.
“Here you go sir, please sit. Maybe with you here he’ll have an easier time resting” A different elf offered him a chair, probably the one his mother sat in that very morning before coming to find him.
“Has he had trouble sleeping?” He asked pulling the chair closer to the bed.
“Yes I’m afraid, with the fever and the damaged ribs it makes laying down a bit difficult. We do everything we can to keep him comfortable.” He handed Steve his chart, looking over all they’ve tried.
Steve scanned the documents still listening as the officer spoke.
“With all the blood work and IVs we’ve had to give him its been a bit difficult to get him to properly rest. I’ve had resorted to giving him some strong pain medication in order to get him to sleep through the night” He said already holding the vial for Steve to see.
“But that too gets to be difficult. He’s figured out what time we give it to him and he starts struggling.”
“No, I don’t want it” Arthur muttered miserably, eyes not opening but already pulling his arm away.
“Hey it’s ok” He placed his hand on Arthurs forehead, he frowned at how warm he still was.
“No!” Arthur yelled turning away from the touch.
“This is also what I was gonna talk to you about. I seems he doesn’t like being touched.” The elves already gearing up to hold Arthur down to administer the pain meds.
“He’s never like shots” Steve standing up blocking the others from approaching them.
“Shh, its ok. They won’t do anything” He said gently remembering how his mother had dealt with a sick child.
“No. No more” he whimpered hiding his face from them “no more shots”
“I know buddy, I know. No more shots tonight I promise “ He patted his head, trying to calm him down.
“Sir, I know its unpleasant but he really need to rest”
“Is it necessary tonight, I can stay and call if your needed.” He didn’t take his eyes off Arthur, already feeling horrible for how he’s been treated lately.
“Sir, I really recommend he continue to-”
Steve glared at him ending all discussions on the matter.
“Ok sir, but please call if he’s in any pain.” The elf sighed ushering the rest of his team out before they anger their boss anymore than they already did.
Arthur to relax a bit but still refused to turn towards Steve.
“Hey Arthur, can you look at me? Please?” The younger man slowly turned towards him, eyes struggling to stay open.
“Steve?”
“Yeah its me. I came to see you.” He gently placed his hand back on his forehead, softly stroking to soothe Arthur.
“I’m sorry I worried you. I shouldn’t have left without telling you” Arthur struggled to speak clearly, still drowsy from the fever.
“Oh Arthur, no. You did nothing wrong.” He tried
“No, If I hadn’t been such a walking disaster maybe-”
“Arthur no, stop” He signed, doing his best to speak softly.
“Arthur, I need you to listen ok. Blaming yourself is not
going to help. We both messed up yes and we’ll fix it
together.”
Arthur was already starting to fall asleep, just that short conversation taking too much if his strength.
“Ok Steve. Can you stay till I fall asleep?” He reached to grab his brother’s arm weakly, attempting to keep him from leaving. “I don’t like when they poke me. Makes we feel weird” He was fighting sleep, Steve could see that. Arthur didn’t want to sleep until he was sure Steve would stay with Steve.
“Yes Arthur I’ll stay. Nobody is gonna poke you as long as I’m around.” Rubbing his head to soothe his worry.
“I promise your big brother won’t let anything happen to you”
He watched his brother’s eyes slowly fall, then his breath softening to a light snore. ‘I won’t let anything happen to you.’
He stayed till morning, watching Arthur sleep. Checking every sound he made, everyone new beep the machines made. He held Arthur’s hand when his nightmares became too much.
Each time an elf came to check over his vitals Steve had watched them intensely. Every new elf that came into the room left shaking in terror. It had gotten so bad they sent for Mrs. Claus to go calm her son.
“Hello dear, how are you doing?” she walked in carrying a large basket and a familiar pair of slippers.
“Hello mother” He looked at the sliders puzzled “how many of those does he have.” Looking at the almost identical pair Arthur had lost that night.
“ha-ha, I’m not quite sure. The lovely girl Bryony had given them to me once I told her where I was going.” She laughed as she gently lifted the covers to place them on Arthurs feet.
“I’m sure he’ll appreciate them once he’s waken up.”
Margaret looked at her son’s, happily noticing how Steve willingly held Arthur’s hand. It seems he hadn’t got much sleep, but he’s shoulders weren’t so hunched as before.
“I did the elves send for you to replace me.” Steve huffed not getting up from his seat.
“Actually I came to bring you somethings. Sandwiches because I know the hospital food isn’t the best. Some blankets in case you get cold.” She looked through the bag as she continued to list its contents.
“I found you tablet and the charger. A change of clothes, so sweaters for Arthur when he’s ready. Oh and a couple board games once he’s up for it.”
She handed the bag to Steve, grunting once the full weight hit him.
‘How did she carry this all the way here?’ He looked at his mother in amazement.
“Now that I know there’s someone here with Arthur I can go help with supervising the restorations. We’re still working on getting the ice to harden properly and chunks still falling.” She waved her son goodbye and walked past the scared elves hiding behind the curtain.
Steve glared at them once more, before returning to hold Arthur’s hand.
“Sir, it’s time for lunch. We didn’t want to wake him since he finally slept through the night.” The head office spoke, walking in pushing a chart that held a bowl of something warm.
“I’ll do it, I don’t think he’s very fond of you or your staff right now.” He took the tray from them, placing it on the table in front of the Arthur.
“Do call us if you need any assistance.” The elves quickly left leaving the rest for Steve to take care of.
Gently shaking Arthur awake, feeling a bit of guilt when he winced from the sudden movement.
“Come on Arthur, time to wake up. You need to eat.” Arthur opened his eyes, squinting at the bright lights.
“Ok mom.” He grumbled, trying to sit up before falling back in pain.
“No don’t sit up yet. The elves don’t want you moving until you fever goes down” Steve pushed Arthur back down adjusting the pillow behind him.
“I’m sorry.” Arthur coughed, grunting in pain.
“Here, if you need to cough hold the pillow tight. It should help” Steve grabbed the pillow from the chair and gently pressed it against the others abdomen.
“Thank you Steve.” Holding the pillow close to him, already looking tired.
“Here let’s get some food in you, maybe that will help.” He held a spoon out to Arthur, it would look like its just broth today. Something like for Arthur to digest.
“Smells like chicken. But I don’t see any stars” Steve rolled his eyes smiling.
“I’ll talk to them about getting you some stars next time. I’m sure its just so you can digest it.”
“Its just a bowl of flavored water.” He grumbled looking at the bowl like it insulted him.
Steve signed, he forgot Arthur could be a bit stubborn when sick. But right now he didn’t mind, it just meant that Arthur was getting better.
“Come on now, just take a bite. You need to eat something” Steve held out the spoon waiting for Arthur to lean forward to sip.
“There’s no biting involved. Just drinking. Might as well had me a straw to drink it.” He leaned back not even attempting to eat the soup.
“Stop being a baby and eat your soup.” Steve tried again moving closer to Arthur’s face attempting to shove the spoon in his mouth.
Arthur was not budging, lips pressed firmly shut and glared at the broth. Steve sign once again, in all his worry he had also forgotten how annoying his brother could get but he wasn’t about to say that out loud.
“okay how about this, if you manage to eat this bowl and keep it down. I’ll make sure you can get something special with dinner.” He remembered that bribery always worked as a kid, he just hoped it would still work now.
“I can get rice pudding?” Arthur asked, still glaring at the spoon.
“you promise?” Arthur at looked at him, those same big blue innocent eyes.
“yes you can have rice pudding.” Steve would have to check with the doctor first but he’d find away to get it to Arthur.
“Now eat the dang soup.”
The younger man signed before leaning forward to take the spoon. Steve gently tilted the spoon, making sure every drop was eaten.
This motion continued a couple more times, dipping in the soup. Bring the spoon to his mouth and slurping. The bowl was barley halfway when Arthur decided he was done. Steve held out the spoon expecting Arthur to repeat the action, when the brunette didn’t he got a bit worried.
“You only took a couple of bites are you sure you’re not still hungry.” Arthur shook his head, not opening his mouth in fear Steve might shove the spoon in it.
Steve tried a different tactic to get his to open his mouth.
“Come on Arthur, how are you going to be Santa next Christmas if you don’t get your strength up.” Holding out the spoon once more.
“Oh so that wasn’t a dream” Arthur lowered his head, not adding anything. Steve was alarmed by the comment, he put what was left of the meal on the table. He moved to hold Arthur’s hand before speaking.
“Why did you think that was a dream.” Squeezing his hand reassuringly.
“Because it sounds ridiculous that why.” Arthur chuckled, his gaze firmly planted on his hands.
“Arthur that’s-”
“Its ridiculous Steve. How can someone who’s allergic to snow be Santa.”
“We can get you a mask, or get you some pill to take so you don’t swell.” He offered, not really understanding what Arthur was saying.
“Steve, that’s not the point. Look at me, the first gift I actually delivered and it turned out a disaster. We lost so many reindeer, er were spotted multiple times. Our sleigh got shot down.”
Steve couldn’t help but stiffen at the mention of the sleigh. Gripping Arthur’s hand tighter than he intended. The younger Claus didn’t let that go unnoticed.
“And I caused you, our parents, the entire team so much trouble.” He said squeezing his hand to assure Steve he was still there. “I don’t think I can be Santa when all I did was cause trouble.”
Steve sat with everything Arthur had just said, looking at his brother for the first time in awhile. He still saw that scared little child that clung to him every chance he got. His little brother that would light up at any mention of Santa. He never understood Arthurs love of Santa but that night when they had deliver that missing gift, he finally saw it.
He saw the magic Arthur had seen all those years ago, once he saw that look on his face he knew Arthur was the right choice to be Santa. It pained him to see the man he willingly gave the title of Santa away to, now doubting whether or not he even deserved it. But it hurt more that, that man was his baby brother. The one he loved more than almost anything in the world and he didn’t know to help him.
“Arthur your first delivery was unofficial so that didn’t count.” Steve began steadying his voice. “And your journey was only a disaster before you didn’t have the rest of the team to help you. That and you had a saline old man driving.”
That got a chuckle out of Arthur.
“And as for it you deserve the title of Santa.” Steve tilted
Arthur’s face towards him, making sure their eyes met “That night I saw the magic of a child’s joy. Arthur I was so focused on efficiency that I forgot why I was doing it. Every child matters, and you helped remind me. It is because of your dedication to that cause that you are more deserving to be Santa than I ever could.”
Arthur looked at his brother in amazement, he had never said anything like that to him before. Arthur began to cry almost uncontrollably.
“No don’t cry, you ribs. Arthur please don’t cry” Steve panicked, doing whatever he could to get him to stop crying. He didn’t want Arthur to hurt himself anymore than he already did.
“Arthur please stop crying. The elves will think im abusing you and make me leave.” They could try anyway but he won’t be moved by anyone other than his mother.
“You’ve never said anything so nice to be, and not I’m crying happy tears.” Arthur hiccupped, doing his best to calm himself before he pulls something.
“We both know that’s not true, but please stop crying you’ll wear yourself out again” Steve rubbed his back in a soothing motion, Arthur began relaxing into the touch.
“There see all better now.” Steve tried lighting the mood, but he could tell Arthur was already exhausted again. He quickly checked his temperature with the hear by thermometer, seeing the temperature now read 105. He signed not great but better than the last 2 days had been.
“Steve, I still want rice pudding” Arthur asked drowsily
“Ok, I’ll see what I can do. Now sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up” He softly patted his hair, hoping the motion would soothe Arthur to sleep.
“You promise?” Just like last night, Steve took his place at
his side. Vowing not to leave unless he absolutely had too.
“I promise, now sleep” Arthur began to softly snore.
“I love you” Steve whispered, softly kissing his forehead before leaving to go speak with the doctors once more.
*one week later *
Just as he promised, Steve never left his side. The only tim3 he left was when his mother came to relieve him so that he could shower and catch up on whatever work built up. Thankfully Peter was very eager to please was staying on top of what absolutely needed Steve’s attention.
‘Maybe I’ll give Peter a promotion when all of this is over’
Steve had thought mindlessly during one of those days.
Arthur over those next couple days had made a full recovery, his fever what broke but so were his ribs. He was ordered to stay on bed rest till they had fully healed. And yes eventually he was allowed rice pudding just as Steve promised.
Steve did his best to go see Arthur as often as he could Sometimes twice a day, others he could only see if once every couple day. There was something in Steve telling him that if he didn’t physically see his brother that something might happen.
That’d he’d wake up one day and it would all be a dream, the Arthur never made it home from that night. Both boys knew they really needed to address the issue. For now they were both happy to be each other’s company again, just like when they were kids.