Chapter Text
There were times in Namjoon's life that he felt misplaced.
When he was a young child, he never cared much for playing outside or running around in the dirt alongside many of his classmates. He hated the way that the dust would gather on his glasses, making it hard to see through the thick lenses. He preferred reading or writing, staying inside only to watch through frosted windows as the other children laughed and smiled. They had always called him nerdy or a weirdo. His parents told him to pay no mind to their comments. He excelled in his academics and taught himself English by the time he was 16. He proved himself to be one of the brilliant minds in his class as they graduated. Yet, he knew that he was a stand alone.
When he was 18, freshly graduated from high school and prepping for college entrance exams, he felt lost once more. His parents had never focused themselves into education, but had put their own lives into creating a business on which their family could be founded. Their goal was to raise a family they would be proud of. They had high hopes that they would be able to run the shop until their son was old enough to take over, continuing the line and furthering the success. Namjoon knew this, and had known his place in the Kim family. Yet, his love for English and philosophy drew him away. His heart was never in business. He couldn't bring himself to subjugate himself into a life of monotony and unhappiness. He told his parents his wishes, and was looked down upon. They didn't approve of his hopes and wishes, and pulled away. He found himself in school with no support system. His own work ethic kept him going.
And once more, almost a year ago, he felt the loneliness creep in and settle firmly into his heart. He felt the heavy shame of being truly left for himself. When Zico passed, he was no longer the same man that Namjoon grew up with and had grown to love. He was no longer the one Namjoon would laugh with at two in the morning over stupid internet memes. Namjoon was expecting to stage some sort of best friend intervention and turn Zico's life around, but instead found himself hiding in the very back of a cemetery while his best friend was buried. His parent's formally disowned him and told him he was no longer their son, no longer welcome into the house he was raised in. He wanted to go talk to them, tell them the truth. He couldn't come close enough to say his final goodbyes or ask the question that burned within him. He didn't understand what he was, what Zico had turned him into. He tried to change himself back, to wake up from the nightmare that had become his life. As Namjoon had watched his skin heal around the circular wound in his chest, he felt like a monster. He was alone in the world.
"Joonie? Will you help me set the table?"
Namjoon snapped his head up, pulling himself from his thought and the novel that had gone long forgotten in his hands.
Seokjin was smiling above him, hair a soft pink glow around a radiant smile. He looked so happy, so alive.
He smiled and bent to corner of the page to mark his spot in the sea of English poetry. He set his book on the couch and stood, taking the stack of plates from his boyfriend's hands. Jin said nothing, but Namjoon felt soft lips on his temple as a wordless sign of thanks. Namjoon began setting the plates. He counted out the settings, making sure each person would have a plate, a glass, and utensils. Namjoon was checking one last time when he knock a wine glass from the edge of the table. Jin gasped as he was the glass falling, but sighed in relief as Namjoon caught it. The taller blushed and Jin shook his head at his clumsiness. Namjoon found himself smiling back. He watched Jin stir the pasta once more before bringing it all to the table. His heart felt warm, seeing the eldest in the kitchen. He looked so natural there.
It had taken nearly 16 hours for Seokjin to wake up that day.
Namjoon remembered it clearly. He had been waiting by the couch, afraid to move. He was afraid to get too far away. He was afraid to breathe, to blink. He needed to be right there for the moment that Jin would open his beautiful deep brown eyes. He needed to make sure that Seokjin knew that no matter what had happened between them, no matter what they had gone through, Namjoon would never leave his side again. He had been so fearful that he had taken too much and that he had come back into Jin's life only to end it.
When Jin opened his eyes, they fluttered as if he couldn't quite bring himself into the waking world. Namjoon leaned in and brought both hands to cradle the porcelain jaw and search for any sign of pain or discomfort. Namjoon held his breath as Jin looked around blearily. He felt fearful that one wrong move would cause the elder to break. He wanted to say something, anything. Yet, he found himself at a loss for words when Jin's eyes met his own.
"Hyung..." was all that he could get out before the tears began.
"Joon-" Seokjin started coughing.
It didn't take long for Namjoon to call out, causing a half-dressed Yoongi to come sprinting down the hall, skidding to a halt as he saw Namjoon's tears. For a moment, Yoongi stopped breathing. It wasn't until then that Namjoon realized how worried Yoongi had been.
"He needs water, food, everything," Namjoon told him.
As Yoongi banged around in the kitchen, everyone began to gather. They all stared at Namjoon who was in the same spot as they had left him. The vampire was refusing to move, holding tightly to the hands in front of him. He wanted to remain by Jin's side as everyone scurried around to get everything together for their hyung. The rest of the day was a blur to Namjoon. He remembered helping Jin get into a bath, washing his newly blonde hair for him. He remembered kissing him every chance he got and never leaving him alone. It wasn't until Jin told him that he was okay, and his vitals evened out that Namjoon felt okay to even let him walk to the bathroom alone. It was endearing how involved he had been.
There was something so fragile about the situation. They were all so quiet and careful as the situation unfolded. Jin was sitting up, leaning on Namjoon and drinking water as Namjoon explained how the night had gone. Jin was explaining to Namjoon how Jungkook was actually the one who remembered something about stasis and the way that Namjoon needed to be woken up. He was fearful that he had hurt his boyfriend and caused him pain with the willow wood. Namjoon explained that he had to feed on Jungkook because of his pain and hunger. He felt awful about having to feed once more after nearly killing his boyfriend.
As they all spoke, eyes began to fall on Jungkook. He was curled into Jimin's side. He looked small, scared, and had been silent through the entire conversation. Jimin was rubbing small circles onto his back in attempts to soothe him.
"Jungkook," Jin started.
He never finished that statement. He saw the first tear fall from the maknae's eyes and he stood, with help from Namjoon, and brought the youngest into a smothering hug. He wrapped his arms around him. Namjoon hugged him as well, arms nearly wrapping all he way around the pair. It didn't take long before every single person, including Yoongi, were enveloping the youngest in as much warmth and love as they could muster. They let Jungkook cry it out until his sobs were nothing but ragged inhales. As they released him, Jungkook tried to explain himself to the best of his abilities. Jimin held one hand, Seokjin the other. As he finished, they were all misty-eyed. They expressed their love for Jungkook and their understanding for his actions, no matter how misguided they were.
It took them all day to stop the tears. Once they did, they ordered in their favorite Chinese food and cuddled up in the living room to watch a cheesy movie of Seokjin's choosing. When the eldest fell asleep on Namjoon's chest, they found themselves at peace. Everyone was back together. Everything was normal. Or at least, as normal as it gets for living with a vampire.
Namjoon brought Jin back to the bedroom, carrying him gently. As they laid into the bed, complete with Princess Peach blanket, he kissed the expanse of tan skin and laughed as Jin explained his reasoning behind the blonde. He expressed his liking to Namjoon's now darker locks. They smiled and giggled at one another, too giddy to sleep. As Namjoon cuddled as close as he could to Jin's body, he sighed at the warmth and comfort. Jin looked up at him and smiled sweetly. He captured Namjoon's lips once more and show him how much he meant. They proven their love late into the night, and Namjoon swore he was at peace. He was resting as though he was sleeping.
He felt whole again.
"Can you call everyone in? It's ready," Jin called over.
"Of course,"
Namjoon came to the first door, knocking before entering. He opened the door to find Hoseok sitting on the bed behind Yoongi, legs wrapped around the older. Hoseok was playing some video came while Yoongi was leaning down in order to type away on his laptop. It was cute. Yoongi looked small and soft in Hoseok's hold. Yet, Namjoon knew that he held most of the power in the relationship. He saw the glint of the light from the television screen hitting the new silver band on Hoseok's finger.
Yoongi had gotten the courage to finally do it last week. He had been holding onto the ring for ages but felt as though there was never a "right time". It was also not the right time to propose as Seokjin was recovering from Namjoon's absence. Now that everyone was back where they belonged, he decided now was a better time than ever. He had planned an elaborate scheme. He told the dancer that he was in the recording studio, bu would be meeting him for dinner at their favorite restaurant. Hoseok should have known something was up, but was blissfully unaware. He went about his day, going to the studio and returning to shower and finding the first part of the scheme. A piece of paper on the mirror (conviently placed by Jungkook). It was sheet music, obviously written by Yoongi. He then got in the car with Jin, finding another paper with lyrics, Yoongi's handwriting. He tried to put the two together, but by the time he could hum a melody, they arrived to the restaurant. He reached the front door to find the last paper with both the music and lyrics put togther. This time, it was titled. "Sunshine". Hoseok was confused, and overwhelmed as he walked in and found the reservation was for many more people than expected. The moment he laid eyes on his parents and sister, he understood there was a plan afoot. He turned around to find Yoongi on stage, but not rapping. He was slightly singing and it was the song. But there was a verse Hoseok didn't have. And it ended with a proposal and a very loud celebration.
Namjoon smiled at the now engaged couple and knocked once more, louder.
"Dinner's ready,"
"Ooh! Yay!"
Hoseok nearly threw Yoongi's smaller frame from his lap as he moved. Yoongi shot his fiance a look and received only a chuckle and a sunshine-filled smile in return. Yoongi shrugged and shook his head. His gummy smile visible as Hoseok nearly danced at the prospect of food.
They hopped up and began walking to the kitchen.
Namjoon then moved on to the next door, laughing at the "The truth is out there" poster and glow in the dark stars. He knocked and the door opened. Minjae greeted him with a huge smile and gloved hands. He shook his head and realized that the pair were in the middle of dying each other's hair.
Minjae and Taehyung were such a perfect pair. Where Minjae could be timid at times, Taehyung brought him out of his shell. Yet Minjae was one of the few people in the world that could bring Tae back to earth. They were always up to something. As of late, they had met each others families and talked about getting a dog together. Namjoon was happy to see them find the quirks that everyone else foudn strange and abnormal, endearing and cute. They were often seen on the roof of the apartment complex with the telescope Minjae got Tae for Christmas. They would stay up there looking at stars until Seokjin would scold them for staying out so late. Taehyung had been so nervous after Minjae confessed and told him that he had fallen in love with him. He came running down the fire escape and into Seokjin's bedroom window to ask what he should do. Jin talked to him for a few minutes and asked what he felt. Tae thought for a few minutes before laughing and saying he loved him. Jin told him he should say exactly that. Taehyung nodded before suddenly remembering that he had felt Minjae alone on the roof. It was all quite comedic and they now enjoyed Minjae's presence as another inhabitant of their apartment.
"Timer is done! Come wash this shit out of my hair," Tae's voice came from the bathroom.
"Coming!" Minjae yelled back.
"When you two are all done, come into the dining room," Namjoon reminded them, "Dinner's done,"
"Awesome!"
Namjoon laughed and went to the last door in the hall. It had been some time since he stepped foot in this bedroom, but he no longer felt the nervousness that once surrounded him. He knocked lightly and found no answer. He knocked once more, with a bit more force. He heard a muffled "come in" from the other side of the wood, he entered.
Jungkook was yawning, arms stretched out. His hair was sticking out in every direction and it made him look like a fluffy brown cockatoo. Namjoon laughed a bit and walked over to the bed. Jimin was hunched in a little ball in front of his enormous desktop computer that he had in the corner of the room. It looked more like a space control station to Namjoon. It was clear to him that the maknae had just awoken from a nap, whereas Jimin had been working on his movie once more. Namjoon glanced at the screen for confirmation and sure enough, the animation software was up. He was rendering an action shot of the man on the screen who was running through a city street, clad in all black. Jimin had gotten a spark of inspiration not long after finding out about Namjoon. He began a short movie about a sleek city vampire who falls for a doctor and tries to hide his true identity. It was a cute movie and Namjoon was still shocked at Jimin's drawing skills and his ability to make Namjoon and Seokjin into more beautiful and lithe versions of themselves.
Namjoon came over and slipped the large headphones from Jimin's ears. He looked up and grinned.
"Not bad, right?"
"Looks freaking amazing as per usual, Jimin," Namjoon confirmed.
Jimin stood from his computer and stretched. He turned and laughed at the dazed look on his boyfriend's face.
It took all of three days for Jimin's things to slowly start moving into Jungkook's room. They never spoke about it. It was as though his clothes magically moved into the maknae's closet on their own. Soon his textbooks followed. Then his collection of manga. Finally, Jungkook had come into Taehyung and Jimin's room and sheepishly looked around for a few minutes before clearing his throat. He bit on his lower lip as Tae and Jimin stared up at him. He finally got the balls to tell them both, in a more suggestion than anything else, that it made more sense to bring all of Jimin's things into his room so that Tae and Minjae would have space to themselves. It was a simple idea, but it held more symbolism than anything. Jungkook was a creature of habit and often, solitude. His room was his shelter and his own personal haven. He was strange about letting people into his space, but was now openly inviting someone to share it with him. He had blushed furiously as his hyungs made such a big deal about it. He tried to make it sound as though he was doing it for Taehyung's sake, but everyone knew his true colors. Jimin and Jungkook were so casual with their relationship. They had been friends for so long that everything simply came natural to them. They were easy and happy.
Namjoon was glad to see them fall together so perfectly.
"Wake up, Kookie," Namjoon came to ruffle his hair, "dinner's ready,".
"Mhmm what?"
Jungkook stared at him for a moment before his stomach growled loudly. He nodded and blinked away his sleep.
Namjoon laughed and walked out of the room as Jimin started to coo over how cute Jungkook was when he first woke up. The vampire walked back into the kitchen and put his arms around his boyfriend's waist. He nestled his chin on Jin's broad shoulder and peered over to watch Jin open the bottle of wine. They were celebrating tonight, as Jin had just gotten accepted into a residency program at the local research hospital. He was not only getting early work in the job of his dreams, but he was now able to provide Namjoon with a few extra blood bags to stock in the fridge. Jin found that any time a blood bag was about to be timed out, the medical waste company came to get them. He found it to be saddening how the blood went to waste, and found himself picking up one or two and stashing them in a cooler in his car until he could bring them home for Namjoon. The process was simple and no one ever asked any questions to a doctor holding a blood bag.
"You want to open the white as well?" Jin pointed towards the other bottle of wine.
"Sure,"
Namjoon busied himself opening the white wine as everyone began pouring into the dining room. Hoseok and Yoongi were getting seated and Hoseok was showing Yoongi swatches of fabric for pocket squares. Yoongi was looking with his eyes raised, not even aware of how much planning went into a wedding, let alone the attire.
Next came Jimin who was smoothing down Jungkook's hair in the back. Jungkook looked newly awake at the prospect of food. He sat down and looked at the spread with hungry eyes. Jin had really outdone himself this time. He made a huge feast of Italian food, one of his personal favorites. He made pasta carbonara, eggplant parmesan, steamed mussels and prawns, and a heavenly looking cheesecake for dessert. Namjoon had already sneezed multiple times at the amount of garlic.There was enough food for a small army, but they were known to put down quite a bit.
Finally, Tae and Minjae arrived with newly matching chocolate brown hair to replace the blonde they had previously tried out. Couple hair colors was their new things, seeing as their fashion styles differed too highly for couple clothing. They came out and were speaking rapidly about some sort of meteor shower that would be happening in a few days. They had plans to bring everyone to the roof to watch together.
"Alright everyone," Seokjin was glowing, "Let's eat!"
When everyone was seated, Namjoon began pouring wine for everyone and sneakily poured a glass for Jungkook when Jin wasn't watching. Jin began to dish out the food, passing the large bowls around the table. Namjoon put a bit of the seafood on his plate. It was safe enough to eat without sneezing and he had always loved the taste. Once everyone was served, the conversations began to flow. Yoongi was asking Jimin about his animation and Tae and Hobi were talking about wedding plans. Minjae and Jungkook were bonding over some online game they played together.
Namjoon made eye contact with Jin and smiled.
There were many times in Namjoon's life that he felt out of place.
He had felt as if he was the only man in the world on a few occasions. Whether it be as he watched his classmates through the window, trading a business textbook for an book of Henry David Thoreau's best works, or when he was stumbling around the Seoul nights looking for something to satiate his hunger that he could not explain. He missed being able to speak to someone who could understand him, sympathize with him, and comfort him. The simple act of a hug was something he never knew a person could crave as much as food and water. There were many times that he felt the people around him were not truly around. His heart would ache for the comfort of a warm embrace and faces who were greeting him with love and a smile. He had found himself wandering the entirely of Seoul for months before finding Seokjin, and what a serendipitous occasion that was.
He remembers his time in Busan and found that, while painful, it was eye-opening.
While he had been on the beach, wallowing in self-pity and sorrow, he found that he felt extraordinary loneliness. It was not because of the pain of losing the love of Seokjin, although that pain was also very real. He found that one of the hardest things to overcome while on his own was the silence and overwhelming sense of emptiness around him. His heart yearned for Jin, but also the apartment. The actual apartment and space meant nothing. What he missed was the warmth. He missed the way Seokjin would greet him and kiss him and make him feel loved. But he also missed everything else.
He missed the way Yoongi would always make more coffee than necessary, knowing Namjoon would drink some. He also missed the way Yoongi would create music with him, helping him grow as a musician. He missed the way Hoseok would dance through the place while he cleaned and loudly sing, no matter how off-key he was. He missed Hoseok's constant laughter and the way he would brighten up any situation. Namjoon missed Jimin's calming presence and the way he would adapt himself to each and every person in the apartment. He missed Jimin's selflessness, no matter the reason. He missed Taehyung and the three am conversations about space and humanity. He missed the mischievous pranks he would pull on nearly everyone. Namjoon found himself missing even Jungkook, as he sat on that beach. He missed even Jungkook who had thrown him out of the place he had grown to call home. He missed Jungkook's way of making everyone laugh over his antics. He missed the way Jungkook would sing late at night when he thought everyone else was asleep.
He found himself at his lowest in Busan. He had gone through a large portion of his life feeling alone and misplaced in the world, but he had finally found his place in that apartment. When he had to leave it, that was the worst pain he had been in. No willow wood could compare. His heart had never ached so much and his mind could never shake the feeling that it was where he belonged.
Now, Namjoon sat at the table and ate seafood as everyone laughed and talked loudly. More wine was poured and the sun began to set in the skyline. Namjoon felt himself a bit more relaxed with the rays no longer on him. He laughed along with everyone as Yoongi hummed his satisfaction loudly around a mouthful of pasta. Jungkook and Jin were doing some weird dance with noodles handing out of their mouths, making everyone bust up once more. Jimin and Tae began to argue over some silly anime and what character was cooler. It was a loud and funny dinner.
Namjoon felt warm. It may have been from the wine, but he personally believed it was from the atmosphere. He was happy, loved, and wanted. In this apartment, he had fell in love. He had found his calling in literature. He had created the best music he ever made. He had laughed, cried, and argued. But above all else, he had found a home. Namjoon had finally stopped wandering and had settled down. In that apartment, Namjoon found his place in the world.
And he had never felt more alive.
"Want something a bit more satisfying?" Jin leaned on him.
Namjoon nodded, feeling a bit of the burn of hunger simmering lowly in his blood. He wanted to ignore it until later, but knew he wasn't about to ask anyone to allow him to feed. He was okay with waiting until much later in the evening if it meant enjoying the company. He liked nights like this where they were able to eat a beautiful meal in their own home, surrounded by friends that felt more like family.
Seokjin stood and went into the kitchen, retrieving a blood bag for Namjoon. It was type O, which tended to be one of his favorites. It was always a surprise as to what underlying flavors would come from the blood within. There was no label for flavor in case of vampire consumption. So Namjoon was left to guess and taste. As Jin came back to the table, nearly unnoticed, he handed the bag and a larger wine glass to Namjoon. He kissed the taller briefly, lips soft and tasting of wine. Normally, Jin would pour the blood into the glass for him, but he was feeling the effect of the wine. Namjoon set to trying to tear open the plastic, but couldn't quite get it. He was afraid pulling too hard might cause an explosion. And while it may be entertaining, he preferred not to make a scene.
Namjoon brought the bag up to his mouth, choosing to forego the cup all together. He let his fangs descend and felt his pupils darken. He hadn't realized the table went silent until he had already punctured the bag. He drank from it as though it was a large juice box, but instead of apple juice, it contained human red cells. He closed his eyes and took the first draw, delightfully surprised to taste vanilla and nutmeg. He hummed a bit and then realized how loud the sound was. He looked up to see an entire of table's eyes on him. He thought nothing of it until Jungkook started to make hand motions. Namjoon watched him for a moment before becoming confused. He couldn't figure out what Jungkook was trying to wordlessly say.
He pulled fangs out of the half empty bag, still dripping.
"What's up?" Namjoon asked, running his tongue over his fangs.
Yoongi pointed casually at the over end of the table. Namjoon's eyes followed the finger and found Minjae.
The man was staring in absolute horror at Namjoon. His eyes flicking back and forth between his mouth and the blood bag he held in his hands. His eyes were the size of saucers and Namjoon raised an eyebrow at him. Minjae was white and he looked at everyone around him. Namjoon took another draw from the bag and looked around once more. He felt as though he was missing something. Namjoon slowly put the puzzle pieces together again and couldn't stop the laugh that started to bubble out from within him. Seokjin began to crack up next to him, leaning on Namjoon for support and he shook with laughter.
"Ah, dang it!" Tae shouted, "I knew we forgot something!"