Chapter Text
“One becomes two, two returns to one.”
Lux remembered those words well. They were the first ever spoken to her, long ago, when the world was nothing. When she was nothing.
She had stumbled out into Ether, bare and alone. Nothing to call her own but a face. Eyes and ears and a nose and mouth; a painted face connecting to cords beneath flesh, and soft limbs strengthened by framework. Her chest rose and fell to form a beat, but what for? Eyelids fluttered open to reveal shining dark pupils darting about, but what was there to seek? Living was hers to feel, and she couldn’t find a meaning to it. Absence was her foundation, absence was all she ever knew.
Then there was the Ether. The silent, breathing space surrounding her entire vessel. It was incapable of sound, but perhaps thought, as she could feel sparks and clues towards a greater purpose. It was too soon to know. She clung to it still, in hopes that something would happen.
The marionette recalled those seven words, the voice she heard. She did not know what a voice was before then, let alone the idea of another being. And when she looked, there was no trace of it. She was always alone. Was it her who said it? No, she had yet to say her first word. There was nothing worth speaking for yet.
It had been hours until she felt something again. It could’ve been days, weeks, years, who knows. Time was still fresh and strange, aligning with the beats that kept her body in still motion. But one thing was for sure – there was something holding her hand.
When she turned her head, slow and stiff, the sight was burned into her eyes. What a marvelous thing! A face, of equal size and shape, glowing in the abyss, watching her. She had never seen another face before. Not even her own. But there was the other, sharing her warmth, observing her quietly. There was something so calming, so wondrous about being perceived. She wasn’t sure how to interpret it.
Then the other face smiled.
She felt the rhythm beneath her ribcage pause. The shining eyes, the rosy cheeks, all for her… it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. An eternity of absence simply couldn’t compare – so much so, that she felt her eyes widen and set upon the other half. It only gave way for more surprise when the being spoke, her face ever so sweet as she let the sounds ring.
“Lux… You are most beautiful when the light shines upon you.” The being before her whispered. Despite these words being her first, they were as soft and natural as though she had been longing to say it. “I shall be Nox, for the light I carry is not nearly as brilliant when it’s away from you.”
Just like that, they had both been given names. Lux and Nox. The former repeated this in her head a few times, letting herself remember the new sound. In turn, a string of words formed, a feeling worth speaking for.
“We are connected, by thread and soul.” Lux’s voice was quiet, unfamiliar. She didn’t know she could sound this way. “Nox… I want to be by your side, for all eternity.”
And, when she thought Nox couldn’t smile any brighter, she did. Her eyes gleamed as tears formed, her hand squeezing Lux’s ever so gently.
“I would like that.”
Lux had long forgotten that exchange. Though it marked the beginning of the universe, the first breath she took, she had buried it beneath all the memories of the Constellation. She had discarded her connection to the others, her capability to love. She had forgotten that she, too, was once a mother. Their first child, who had journeyed so far to stay with them, had been turned away. Their youngest, so innocent and ready to learn from her, were abandoned.
Most of all, she had destroyed the first and only love she knew. She had forgotten the feeling she hid beneath that promise, that desire to stay together for all eternity.
It was only when she lay in that same space, half awake and in agony for the final time, that she was brought back.
“One becomes two, two returns to one.”
Nox was there, as always. Her silver hair surrounded her face like a curtain, hiding her smile, as she sat close by. Time had changed her – a scar marked her lips, streaks of black hair replaced what had been torn out… there was even a faint star on her back. It didn’t seem to burn her, the way it burned Lux once, but she knew where it came from. They had each left their mark upon each other, for better or worse.
“Do you remember those words?” The woman, once suspended by thin lines, moved freely as she faced her other half. “I know you don’t like to remember, but I do. I remember when there was not one star in the sky, when we were all alone. Save for the Ether, of course.”
When Lux didn’t reply, having no energy to find the words, she continued. “We were the Ether, at one point. We were one. It was only when we split that I was able to see your lovely face, and you said to me that you wanted to stay by my side ‘for all of time.’ As much as you want to let go of those words, I can’t find it in me to do it.
“I still love you, you know.” Nox leaned forward, reaching out to brush aside locks of hair from Lux’s bloody face. “I know it didn’t seem that way, with all those times we met in the spire. I didn’t feel myself, you were struggling with the waters… But you know, more than anyone, that despite everything… I still love you.”
“Please…” Lux’s voice was hoarse when she found it, the little air she used coming out rattled and slow. “I don’t… I don’t want to do this again…”
“I assure you, this will be the last time.” Nox whispered. In the empty space, once void of light and stars, the mirrors reflected the gleam in her dark eyes. They weren’t supposed to look that way. “You won’t have to suffer any longer. I’ve found a way to make your promise come true, and return to the ways of old.”
Her hand intertwined with Lux’s, and despite Lux struggling to break free, she couldn’t. Their palms were nearly sealed together, pressing so firmly that it was impossible to feel. She couldn’t tell which hand was hers.
“It began like this, didn’t it? When I opened my eyes, you were there, and I took your hand.”
Nox hovered over her, their hands pressed to the floor. Not even death could wipe the smile off her face, in direct contrast to her lover watching in terror. She appeared to be completely enamored by the sight of it, blood and all, her breathing slow and steady with each word.
“You were so beautiful, illuminated by my light, and all I could do was smile at you.”
Her body was flush against Lux’s chilling flesh, and as the latter tried to move her face away, Nox dipped her head and pressed fleeting kisses to her cheek. Thinly veiled desire lay beneath them, almost hungry for more. The mere sensation terrified Lux. She couldn’t feel where one face began and the other ended.
Slowly, in the same manner she once drowned, Lux realized they were becoming one. Her body was losing its ability to move, her soul losing its sense of self. She had pushed away the latter all this time, forgetting what it meant to be a god, and only now did she realize how much she needed it.
“Then, once we were given names… you made that promise to me.” Nox paused, and with their faces mere inches apart, Lux was sure the woman shed a tear. “I’ve kept it with me ever since. In every drop of blood, and every beat of my heart.”
Her smile never faded. But Lux couldn’t find the strength to be afraid any longer, her eyelids heavy with each second watching her. Drowsiness washed over her like the spire waves, falling into the familiar touch of her other half.
She didn’t even feel like they were two parts of a whole anymore. Their bodies shared one sense, one vision, one mind. Her desire to be free, her ability to see the other face, was slipping away.
“Goodbye, sweet Lux…”
The half named Lux made a sound, a string of words in a voice now lost. Not a soul heard or understood it.
And when the darkness fell over them, over her, there was only one sight left to behold. A star, four-pointed and shining in the fleeting soul, making itself known one last time.