Chapter Text
[Subaru]: Rise and shine, Petelgeuse and cappy! It is complete. I had our best and brightest working overtime, fine-tuning the greatest mayonnaise the world has ever known. I call it "The Chemical mayonnaise."
[Petelguese]: What on our goddess's name is that color?
[Subaru]: Now now, don't judge a mayo by its color. Go on. Try it.
[Capella]: we’re uh, we’re not very hungry
[Subaru]: so much for “we receive nature’s blessings and reaffirm our part in it” but I get it. Now, sure it's loaded with additives, but each one's been approved by the WHO for human consumption, at least the ones that i remember back home. Come on, one little bite's not gonna kill ya.
[Petelguese]: are you sure of that?
[Capella]: you’ll be punished once i claim you as my slave for this, FINE
*munch*
*munch*
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[Subaru]: Well? What do you think?
[Petelguese]: It's... it's... it is perfect.
[Capella]: I Capella would like to issue a public apology
[Subaru]: Right? Right?
[Petelguese]: it still reminds me of those days before, when your….. “rem” was it? Used to sell, somehow, it’s even better
[Subaru]: So, what do you think of our science now? And it doesn't just taste great. You won't believe how cheap it is to make. And because it's pumped up with preservatives, it won't spoil easily in regions lacking refrigerated storage or transportation infrastructure. This bad boy could even solve Africa's hunger problem.
[Capella]: Africa?
[Petelguese]: Excuse me?
[Subaru]: People will no longer fight over food or find reason to hate one another. Mankind will come together, reunited between this white fluffy sauce! Forget Pax lagunicana, say hello to Pax Mayonnaisa!
[Petelguese]: Pax?
[Capella]: Mayonnaisa?
[Subaru]: The knights thought that destruction was the way to free the peoples of the world from the Witch cult imperialism. But this is different. Tackling something head-on just makes for more conflict. Only by uniting the world can its inhabitants truly become free! Having lived as a Japanese parasite for as long as I have, I know what I'm talking about. The Chemical Mayo is poised to become the greatest liberating force the world has ever known.
[Petelguese]: An ethnic liberator... mayonnaise…
[Capella]: you got me intrigued too subaru-chan
[Subaru]:Now all I need is a better brand image, starting with the name. I've gotta run, Cappy, petelguese, i’ll catch you later
[Petelgiese]: is he going to stop hand feeding us?
[Capella]: despite us being chained, i feel quite safe
[Petelguese]: you’re always safe
[Capella]: you’re a finger aren’t you?
[???]: yep, the real one left my body like 2 weeks ago
[Capella]: eh, i think i’ll enjoy myself for a little while, that meatbag will serve me well
tape 4 end
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