Chapter Text
After they ate lunch, they did what they always did. Lucas and Carlton were watching football a match, while Will and Max were tidying up the kitchen.
They came here once every two weeks, and they usually talked on the phone almost every day. Fortunately, he still hadn’t lost contact with them. Sure, he still talks with Dustin sometimes, but their relationship wasn’t like the one he had with Lucas and Max. Dustin was going to college and didn’t have much time to book a two-day flight to come here like Max and Lucas do. They could, since they like in Greenwich, which doesn’t take much time to get to New York — it was barely an hour’s drive. So they decided to see each other twice a month as soon as they could, just to not lose any contact at all.
The first time Will made them meet Carlton wasn’t weird — they didn’t made it weird. Lucas was open and funny, while Carlton was friendly and sweet, so they got along well. And since they were always talking about things that weren’t interesting to Max and Will, they bonded a lot since they were teens. Will never thought Max would be such a good friend. Turns out they never really tried to be close before.
Right now, the two were tiding up the kitchen, but the air was… tense.
Max is behaving strangely today. Always trying not to meet Will’s eyes, distant and avoiding topics — topics they usually talked about. Will had already asked a few times if she was okay but she just brushed it off, saying she was stressed about work. Will know that this isn’t the case this time because when she was just “tired from work”, she wouldn’t just avoid his eyes constantly or act distant. The last time they were here, she was acting normal, so why is she acting strange now? It’s like she wants to say something but can’t — which is strange since they always tell each other everything.
«Max,» he calls her.
She doesn’t reply.
Will shakes her shoulder to snap her out of it.
«Hm? What did you say?» she asks, her voice anxious.
«Max.» he calls her again.
«What on earth is happening?»
«What do you mean?» Will huffs and stops doing the dishes, drying his hands with a towel on the counter.
«Something is clearly wrong and you’re hiding something from me» she opens her mouth, then she closes it, then opens it again.
«I—» she glances behind him, stopping herself once again.
«No excuses» Will crosses his arms, waiting for an answer. Max takes a deep breath.
«Okay, but come with me» Max drags him into his bedroom, looks behind them and then closes the door. Will stares at her, confused.
«They are hiding something» Will’s confused expression intensifies.
«W…what? who? I don’t understand»
«Lucas, Carlton, Dustin, El, Mike —everyone!» Will’s heart skips a beat as he heards his name.
«M…Mike? What do you mean?! Mike and Carlton? What do they have to hide?» Max grabs his shoulders.
«Okay, I’ll try to explain this as shortly as I can»
«Basically, since your birthday is in three days, they are all organizing to do a surprise party for you…» Will stops her.
«How sweet… WAIT, MIKE AT MY PARTY?» he shout-whisper.
«Yes! Now let me explain better» Will nodd, gulping anxiously. He does NOT want to see Mike. Especially on his birthday.
«Lucas and I got this amazing idea to organize a surprise party at this famous bar and invite your friends, Carlton and everyone else…» she pauses.
«Then, we asked Dustin, but when we did, there was Mike with him. We called him right when they met each other. They hadn’t seen each other for two whole months and they had to meet right when we—»
«Short, Max. Short!»
«Yeah, yeah, right, sorry. So Dustin immediately said yes, and then he proposed bringing the entire party together to finally catch up all — which we later found out was Mike’s idea. However, Mike was already saying yes, and me and Lucas couldn’t help but agree» Will’s eyes wide, like he has just seen a ghost.
«What the hell, Max?! You and Lucas know damn well about me and Mike’s relationship, so why wouldn’t you guys say anything?!»
«What were we supposed to do? Say ‘I’m sorry Mike, but we can’t all catch up because Will doesn’t want to see you anymore but that’s okay, right?’ we couldn’t say anything!» Will starts pacing back and forth.
«Okay, so now what should I do?» Max shrugs with a strange expression, like the answer is obvious.
«No. I’m not going to see him again. I can’t see him again. Not after the letters, not after his coldness, not after the last time we talked, not after Carlton! How am i supposed to meet him?!» he starts bitting his nails, muttering something like a mad man.
«Will,» she says firmly, while he kept pacing.
«Will!» she shouts, grabbing his shoulders again.
She probably realizes that her tone was too high so she lowers her voice a bit.
«I know it’s hard. I know that you have to talked to him in three years. I know you’re embarassed about the letters, and I also know you don’t want to see him or talk to him but… what can it do? I mean, I know that you loved him for a long time, but now you’re with Carlton and you love him, right? Am i wrong?» she asks, almost carefully, like she is measuring every word — like she fears that anything she said about Mike could break him.
«Y—Yeah, yeah, of course i love him» Will looks Max in the eye.
«But what if… everything comes back? The memories, the nostalgia and… t—the feelings…?» Max doesn’t even look concerned. It was like she knew he would say something about his feelings toward Mike.
Max knows everything about Will. She knows his feelings toward Mike, who he likes or doesn’t like, what he likes to do in his free time, what kind of books and movies he likes, the things he can or can’t do. Nearly everything. It’s like Max has become one of his new best friends. And with that, of course, she knows about the books and about the letters.
Lucas also knows about Mike, but Will had only confessed to him that he had a small crush on him and then moved on. Lucas replied with something dumb like “I FUCKING KNEW IT!” and it ended there. Lucas doesn’t know how deeply Will had loved mike or about the letters. He didn’t even talk about how uncomfortable he would be seeing him again, so it’s not really his fault. Or Max’s. Nor Dustin’s — Dustin was the only one, besides Mike, who doesn’t know about Will’s love for Mike. And in reality, Will doesn’t blame Mike either. He even misses being friends with him. So, maybe it wouldn’t be strange if Mike wanted to meet again and be friends again, right?.
«Listen, I’m not saying the feelings can’t come back. They could. The important thing is that you keep in mind who this Will — the present Will — likes. You like Carlton. Yeah, maybe you loved Mike but now you like Carlton. Now it’s Carlton who’s the only person in your mind, right?» even though her words are helping Will a lot, her tone is strange — almost like she wants him to disagree. But he doesn’t, because it’s the truth. He slowly nods.
«Okay. Then you shouldn’t have a problem with it. If the feelings seems to come back, just think about what I said. Think about your present feelings, not about the old ones» Will nods again, faster this time, like he’s trying to convince himself.
«Plus, you don’t have to stay hours talking to him. You can just say hi, ask how he’s doing and what he does for a living, and it can end there. You don’t have to become best friends again like before. Oh and trust me — Mike was way better before. Now he has these weird glasses that look like his dad’s and has hair that looks like a middle-aged man’s. He’s alone in his room writing all day, didn’t make any new friends. It’s sooooo depressing» she laughs while talking about the new Mike, playfully, obviously joking, but something in Will’s chest cracks.
It’s probably his heart.
He should laugh with her. He should say something like, “I knew he’d become like his dad,” or “Yeah, so depressing and boring” but he couldn’t.
Because his heart aches at the thought of Mike being all alone, doing nothing but staying in his room. He imagines Mike laying in his bed with headphones on, waiting for Max, Lucas, or Dustin to call him. He imagines Mike sitting at his desk, staring at nothing for an hour because he can’t write anything. He imagines Mike spinning around in his chair when someone finally calls him to meet or even just to talk. He imagines Mike entering conversations awkwardly, trying to make some friends without success.
And… his heart breaks for Mike, once again.
Suddenly, the idea of meeting him again doesn’t sound like a nightmare at all.
Will forces a small laugh, but he’s feeling way better than before.
«And… I’m sorry if he has to come. It’s also our fault for not trying to protest…» she grabs Will’s hand, trying to show she really cares. Will smiles gently.
«Lucas doesn’t know about how much I loved him, so of course he wanted all of us together. But it isn’t your fault either — it would’ve been rude and made no sense to protest. So, don’t worry. I don’t think it’s anyone else’s fault» it’s my fault.
My fault for fearing that the feelings could come back. Because when you’ve truly stopped loving someone, you shouldn’t be afraid they might come back.
Because those feelings belong to the past.
Not—The—Present.
Max returned the smile and hugs him, but she quickly pulls away, putting again her hands on my shoulders.
«Wait — don’t tell Lucas or Dustin about this. if they find out i just ruined their surprise for you, they are so going to kill me!» Will suddenly remember something.
«I… I have to thank you» Max raises an eyebrow, confused.
«For what?»
«For telling me. For not stepping back because of the surprise. Because if they had organized everything with Mike and no one told me, I would’ve had a heart attack the moment I saw him in the crowd. I’d rather know and ruin the surprise than not know and panic. At least now I have three days to figure out what to say. Otherwise I’d have had, like… thirty seconds?» this time, Will hugs Max.
She’s really his best friend.
Suddenly, Will remembers something.
«And to thank you, I’ll give you the gifts I bought for you and Lucas,» Will says, leaving out the part where Carlton actually bought them. But hey, it’s the thought that counts!
«Why did you buy us gifts? It’s not our birthday, and it’s not any holiday» she says, confused but amazed.
«I saw some cute things and I immediately thought of you and Lucas. Come on, I’ll give them to you» and just like that, Will grabs Max’s hand and guides her into the living room.