Chapter Text
“Did you hear?-”
“-befriended that girl-”
“-yeah, the weird one. She-”
“Honami?”
“Should’ve known she was still a two-faced traitor.”
“Honami, how could you befriend someone like that?”
Two weeks. Two weeks since Kanade had started hearing the whispers surrounding her. Two weeks since she had walked in on a confrontation with Honami and her “friends”. They didn’t stop, no. In fact, they doubled down.
And Honami agreed to distance herself from her.
Because she was just the “new girl”. Honami had her friends from middle school to hang out with.
“Hey, new girl.”
Almost instinctively, Kanade turned, half-expecting to see one of Honami’s friends. Instead, the girl she spotted was anything but. The girl approached, standing in front of Kanade and eyeing her up and down.
“You’re one of Honami’s new friends, aren’t you?” She asked, one hand resting on her hip. “You’re the girl she was showing around a while ago.”
Kanade hesitated, shaking her head. “Uh- no, we aren’t- w- well I mean we were friends, but I- uhm..we aren’t really..friends, per se..” She offered the girl a nervous smile, choosing to shut up.
The girl raised an eyebrow, stepping closer. She crossed her arms over her chest. “What do you mean, not really friends.” She muttered, her displeasure clear through her tone. She stared at Kanade—who shrunk into herself just a little—for a few moments, before letting out a small sigh, squeezing her eyes shut and opening them again. “She’s doing it again..”
Before Kanade could process the words, the girl grabbed onto her wrist gently, dragging away, as Kande had no choice but to follow. She stumbled into an even pace, slightly jogging after the girl’s faster steps.
Feeling left out of the loop, Kanade frowned, “doing what again? Is something wrong?”
The girl didn’t reply. Once out of earshot, she let go of Kanade’s wrist, stopping in her tracks. Kanade stumbled, caught off guard, taking a moment to stabilise herself. “What’s going on?” She repeated, taking a step towards the girl.
The girl hesitated, then turned to Kanade, one hand curled around the hem of her cardigan. “She left you behind, didn’t she?” She asked, her expression softer now, not as guarded, almost pained.
“H- huh?” Kanade pointed to herself, “left me behind..? Honami..?” She mumbled, lowering her voice to a quiet mumble.
“I..” The girl glanced around, her gaze directed away from Kanade. “Honami..she..” Pressing her lips into a thin line, the girl stared at the floor for a moment, trying to find the right words, then finally looked back up at Kanade. “She..left us behind too.”
Us?
The girl continued, “she..really wants to make her friends happy, you see. And well..it leads to some..instances..?” She frowned, as if questioning her choice of words.
Finally getting it, Kanade’s eyes widened slightly, “Those girls?” She pieced together the pieces, her hands trailing upwards to fiddle with the edge of her shirt. “They’re the ones who..uhm..made her leave you?”
The girl nodded slowly, checking to see if there really was an understanding between them. “Recently..one of our childhood friends returned and we..really wanted to start a band with her..”
Seeing that Kanade indeed was following along, the girl took a deep breath, then continued on with the story, “we..tried to get her to join and I..shouted at her..a little.” A small blush formed on the girl’s cheeks, as if she were a little guilty of what had transpired between her and Honami. “Honami she..she stopped letting us visit her and well..we parted ways again.”
“So..why were you looking for me?” Kanade was a little confused. What did she have to do with all this? It wasn’t like she could go to Honami’s house and corner her into befriending them again.
The girl let out a small, nervous cough. “We..I was hoping you could go and talk some sense into her..maybe.”
Oh.
Before Kanade could answer, the girl continued, “I still know her address. Maybe you could go get her there? Somewhere she isn’t surrounded by her..friends..” The girl finally smiled, small and strained.
“No, of course not,” was what Kanade wanted to say, but instead, her mouth worked faster than her words.
“Of course. She’s my friend too.”
Hearing the answer, the girl brightened up, taking out a small piece of paper, scribbling down the address onto it, handing it to Kanade and leaving before Kanade could take back her words.
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Here she was, standing in front of a house. Honami’s house, trying to gain her courage and knock on the door. Finally, she raised a fist, knocking on the door twice, gently. When Honami appeared from behind the door, hair slightly dishevelled, holding the door open only by a small sliver, Kanade watched as her eyes widened, and she tried to shut the door.
Before she could, Kanade stuck one foot out, wedging it between the door.
Ow. It hurt a little, not at all like the movies.
She tried to hide the wince, though, instead grabbing onto the door with one hand, pushing it open gently as Honami stumbled backwards. Before Honami could run again, she reached out, grabbing onto Honami’s arm with her free hand, holding it as tightly as she could.
“W- wait,,h- hold on!” She called out, her voice cracking as she yelled. She cringed, but didn’t let it stop her. She stepped into the house, letting go of the door and letting it shut behind her. When Honami tried to yank her arm away, Kanade held on tighter, closing the gap between them.
“I’m just here to talk. Th- that’s it.” She pleaded, hoping Honami wouldn’t pull away.
She didn’t move. Good.
Feeling somewhat relieved, Kanade continued, “I just..I want to know why.”
“Wh- what..” Honami started, then shut her eyes, taking a moment to regain her composure as she turned back to Kanade, “What do you mean?” She smiled, but Kanade could tell. The smile was forced, strained, even. Kanade frowned, and Honami, seeing that downplaying didn’t work, let the smile fall.
“Why,” Kanade repeated, her bottom lip trembling. “Why did you leave me? Why are you distancing yourself? Did..am I not a good friend?” She sniffles, biting down on her tongue to stop herself from rambling. “I just..” She mumbles, then lets go of Honami’s arm, staring down at the floor instead of at the other girl.
Honami went quiet for a moment, then reached out, gently smoothing out the top of her head. Looking up, Kanade stared at her, but Honami didn’t spare her a glance. “Don’t move.” Honami mumbles, running her fingers through a few strands, then picks out a small leaf, setting it aside. She smiled, gently tilting Kanade’s face up, one finger under her chin.
“I didn’t mean to.” She starts, letting go of Kanade, dusting her hands off on her shirt. “But..I can’t afford to lose my friends either.” She looked away, a sad smile on her face.
“Why not?”
Turning back to Kanade, Honami’s eyes widened, momentarily caught off guard by Kanade’s words. “What..?”
“Why not?” Kanade repeated, as she approached the girl. “Why can’t you afford to lose them?”
“They’re my friends- I-” Honami stammered, stepping back, “They..I’m trying to be a good friend of theirs..”
Shaking her head, closing the gap between them again. “You don’t have to follow along with whatever they say. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
“I’m not following along! I’m fine with it.”
“You aren’t. If you really were, why would you agree to be my friend?”
“W- I just..” Honami looked away, trying to gather her words
Kanade didn’t stop. She continued on with her ramblings, “If you really were okay with it, why would you offer to show me around that day? Why would you have sat with me? What about your other friends, are you okay with abandoning them too?!”
The last question seemed to catch them both off-guard, Honami especially. Her eyes widened slightly, and she opened her mouth to retort, but no noise came out. She stared at Kanade for a few moments, silence filling the room.
“I..” She starts, her words failing her as she tried to find the words to retort. Kanade placed a hand on her shoulder gently, a small smile making its way to her face. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” she repeats, “if they can’t accept your wishes, they aren’t your friends.”
“I’m sorry..” Honami sniffled, and Kanade approached, wrapping her arms around the girl, letting her cry into her shoulder. Kanade smiled, gently running her hands through the girl’s hair.
It was soft, as expected.
Kanade smiled, “it’s okay, take as long as you need.” She whispers, as tears dampened the sleeve of her shirt. “Want anything? Water? Do you want to sit down?” She continued, her hand stalling, her fingers tangled in the girl’s hair.
Honami nodded, the movement almost imperceptible. But then, she stopped, small sniffles escaping her. “T- take off your shoes f- first..I just cleaned..” She sniffles a small laugh escaping her lips.
Kanade stalled, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment as she realised her mistake. “S- sorry..”
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Valentine’s Day.
Kanade had waited for this day since the year started. She had marked it on her calendar with circles, and had been preparing since two weeks ago, scouring department stores for the perfect gift.
If only she wasn’t a bundle of nerves. She had done things that were even scarier, and yet, the simple act of confessing was the thing that did her in. She took a deep breath, her back against the door leading to the classroom, holding a small box close to her.
It’s okay. It’s just confessing to her. The prettiest, kindest, and smartest girl she knew. Yeah, no pressure.
Taking a deep breath, she turned, reaching for the door, gripping onto the handle of the door, her palms sweating.
“Kanade?”
“Wah!” She turned, holding the box behind her back now, her heart rate suddenly spiking. At the sight of Honami, she relaxed slightly, “ah..Honami I uhm..I’ll go in s..” She stopped, spotting the box in Honami’s hands.
Did Honami already have a lover?
Honami, seemingly not noticing the way she had trailed off, smiled, shaking her head. “No. It’s okay, I’ve been looking for you.”
“Looking..” Kanade coughed, one hand gently rubbing her chest, trying her best to calm down. “Ah..y- yeah..what for?”
Smiling, Honami outstretched her hands, holding the box out right in front of her.
Kanade stared at it, then up at Honami, then back at the box again. “Uhm..do you want me to give this to someone?”
Honami’s smile dropped, just slightly, and she raised an eyebrow. “No, no. It’s for you.”
Kanade stared at the box for a moment, processing the words slowly. When it finally hit her, she blushed looking away quickly. “Y- yeah..as a friendly gift..r- right?”
Honami giggled, then pushed the box against Kanade’s chest, and Kanade scrambled to grab it, trying to stop it from falling.
“Well, it can be a friendly gift if you want it to be.” She smiled, and Kanade looked up at her, cheeks still red, feeling a mix of embarrassment and hope. Honami seemed to notice, and she hums, “But I have a feeling you know what I mean.”
Kanade looked down at the box, then nodded, taking the box out from behind her back, handing it to Honami quietly.
Brightening at the sight of it, Honami took it from her, and Kanade hugged the box she had with both hands.
Clearing her throat, Kanade whispered, “So..we’re dating now?”
Honami nodded, gently ruffling her hair. “We are.”