Chapter Text
Kita knows she should be satisfied with this new arrangement, she really should be. It’s been almost a month since she and Bocchi started walking to the train station at the end of the day, holding hands and talking, just taking their time and (in Kita’s case, anyway) enjoying the feeling of Bocchi’s hand in hers. It’s more than she could’ve hoped for, it’s more than someone like her – hopelessly in love and unable to say anything about it for any number of reasons – deserves.
It’s nowhere near enough. She wants to touch Bocchi, to be touched by Bocchi, in ways that aren’t just twining their fingers together. It’s ironic, Kita thinks, because the whole point of asking Bocchi to walk to the station with her was to serve as a sort of pressure release for the way she feels, to make the yearning a little less painful, and instead it’s becoming something that is… well, it’s great, really, but it’s also making everything worse. Is it better to have this one thing and know it can’t be more? Even worse, Kita’s starting to wonder if maybe the others know.
PA-san knows for sure – Kita’s caught something like amusement in the sound-tech’s eyes more than twice when Kita’s bounced up to greet Bocchi on days where the guitarist comes in late. If PA-san knows, Kita reasons, then that also means Seika knows, because PA-san and Seika are so obviously together and Kita assumes that gossiping about the members of Kessoku Band is one of the many hobbies the two share. Heck, Kita talks about who loves whom with her friends all the time, love gossip is one of her go-to topics when she’s out and about! Then again, if Seika does know, it’s a wonder that Kita hasn’t been pulled aside by her and given a stern talking to about what will happen if she (that is, Kita) does anything to hurt Bocchi. The manager’s protectiveness over Hitori has always been plain to see. Endearing, in a way, although less endearing if Seika gets the wrong idea and decides to break Kita’s fingers to teach her a lesson.
What catches Kita off guard completely, however, is when it turns out that Nijika seems to know. Well, “seems” is putting it lightly, because what actually happens is that while the two are on break one evening, the drummer, seemingly unprompted, asks, “Hey, do you think that inter-band dating is a bad idea?”
Kita freezes for a second and considers the merits of sprinting out the door and disappearing, but then again, she’s Kita Ikuyo, social butterfly, and she knows a thing or two about how to handle a social situation. Even if that social situation seems to be the band leader trying to suss out if you and the lead guitarist are practicing fingering things other than guitars.
“I’ve always heard it’s the quickest way for a band to break up,” she answers back airily, before asking a question of her own. “What’s got you wondering about that, of all things,” adding, because turnabout is fair play after all, “thinking of breaking the ‘no bassists’ rule?”
Nijika makes a face at that. “Gross,” the drummer says, although her voice has a slight shake to it which suggests she’s definitely thought about it. “I was actually curious because,” her voice drops low, “there’s a rumor that Kikuri and Shima started dating.”
Kita, who knows this is absolutely not true, because if anyone was going to know about romantic intrigue in Sick Hack or any of the other bands in Kessoku Band’s orbit it was going to be Kita Ikuyo, pretends to give the idea some more thought. “I don’t think Shima would ever agree to date Kikuri unless she stopped drinking so much, to be honest.”
“Yeah, I don’t think it’s true at all,” Nijika hastens to agree, either because that’s not what she asked the question for in the first place and she wants to get to the point already or because now she thinks Kita knows that the drummer is in fact thinking of dating the bassist and wants to get past the idea, “It just kinda got me wondering if there’s ever been like, a band that survived its members dating.”
Kita, who has gotten far more knowledgeable about bands than she once was but not that knowledgeable, shrugs. "If there is one, I don’t know about it.”
“I wonder,” Nijika says, with a thoughtful hum, “if maybe the reason nobody knows about is because the only ones you hear about are the messy breakups. The ones where it isn’t a problem are just quiet about it.”
Kita’s traitorous mouth is already moving before she can stop it, “Well then I’ll be sure to keep it quiet if I start dating one of you.”
That gets her a look from Nijika which the drummer quickly covers up by laughing, because hey this is all a joke, and neither of us are about to start dating anyone in the band, neither of us are thinking about that at all no sir. “Well I would appreciate a heads-up of some kind,” she says, and then, deliberately shooting wide of the mark, adds, “if only so I can keep Ryo from stealing all your money.”
Kita laughs too, relieved that the two have kept their respective secrets safe (even if they are clearly not very secret) for now, and gives a mocking salute. “Yes ma’am, Miss Band Leader.”
Njika giggles, grins, and returns the salute. “Yes, very good. You may continue your duties, Private.”
Whew, both think, dodged a bullet there.
The rest of the evening passes uneventfully, or it would pass uneventfully if not for the fact that Kita now has the distinct impression that Nijika – and by extension, because Ryo always follows the drummer’s lead even if she pretends otherwise, Ryo – would not in fact raise any kind of fuss if she, that is, Kita, were to start dating Bocchi. This means that now the wanting that Kita has been dealing with is sharpened by the dismissal of at least one of the numerous fears she has about raising the possibility of dating, and by extension kissing, Bocchi to the titular guitarist herself. If not for the remaining fears – the fear that this is all one-sided and Kita is reading too much into things, the fear that Bocchi will in fact find the whole idea of kissing a girl disgusting, the fear that in spite of Nijika being okay with it the band would still not survive because she’d fuck it up and break Bocchi’s heart somehow – she'd probably confess to Bocchi tonight and start dating her right away! Unfortunately, those other fears are still there (and totally legitimate), so she ditches that idea pretty quickly.
One less fear’s still progress though, or at least enough progress that now whenever Kita sees Bocchi she feels her heart beat a little faster (it was already doing this, but now Kita notices it), and… well, here’s a problem, she keeps looking at Bocchi’s lips and thinking about kissing them. The only solution to this problem, Kita thinks, is probably to disappear forever, but that isn’t going to happen. Thus begins the creation of Kita Ikuyo’s Date Bocchi Plan, which keeps her occupied for the rest of her shift.
Step one, find out if Bocchi is into women. Kita’s not sure how to do that beyond just bringing it up, but she does have Nijika’s “Shima and Kikuri are dating” rumor to use, so sure, she’ll use that. Assuming Bocchi doesn’t seem opposed to the idea, she’ll know whether or not to proceed further.
Step two, flirt, but don’t flirt flirt. Just hang off Bocchi a little more, find reasons to lean against her, maybe fake trouble with getting the fingering right on a song so Bocchi will guide her hand a little? That seems pretty innocuous, and as a bonus she’ll be able to see if this makes Bocchi blush in a way that suggests there’s at least a little attraction there. Either way it gives Kita an excuse to be touched by Bocchi, which is a win either way.
Step three, confess. Find a good location that’s suitably romantic – but not too much of a pain in the ass to get to, Kita remembers that Bocchi’s not a big fan of long walks – make up an excuse to bring Bocchi there (the band’s been meaning to take more photos, so maybe she can pull Bocchi into a “let’s get some photos of you” type of thing), hand her some flowers, or maybe something more personal? A guitar strap, maybe. After all, Bocchi's not really much of a flowers kind of girl, and a guitar strap is more permanent. Bocchi can get use out of that. Yes, she thinks, I'll give Bocchi the strap.
Then tell her everything – that Kita has grown to love her, that she thinks Bocchi is amazing, that she’s beautiful and wonderful and kind and brave and patient, that she (Kita) is maybe not the perfect match for her, but maybe she (Bocchi) would be willing to overlook that, and they could give it a try, and Kita will do everything she can to make Bocchi happy, more or less forever.
Step four, kiss the hell out of that guitarist. Just really pour everything she’s got into it. Kiss Bocchi so hard she’ll forget her own damn name! Kiss Bocchi so hard Kita will forget her own name too!
Step five, lesbian bliss?
Satisfied, Kita resolves to start working on this plan right away – this very evening, in fact! She can bring up the Shima and Kikuri thing on the way to the station. Perfect! Bocchi won’t suspect a thing.
“Ah, I’ll b-be right out,” Bocchi says, as Kita heads for the door, “I just need to t-talk to Ryo about something first.”
“No problem,” Kita beams back at the guitarist brightly, and heads up the stairs and out. Kita can tell Bocchi’s had something on her mind all day – she’s been trying to come up with the lyrics for another new song (“I tried to write something you’d like” echoes in her head again) and Ryo’s a good sounding board.
Whatever it was Bocchi needed to ask, it doesn’t seem to have been that complicated – it isn’t more than a few minutes before she’s climbing the stairs to join Kita, sliding her hand into Kita’s as if it is the most natural thing in the world. Kita feels a thrill, as she always does, and the two begin walking to the station. They cover the basics of their usual conversation – practice is going well, it was a surprisingly large crowd for a weeknight, etc. etc. Kita waits for the opportunity to bring up Shima and Kikuri, like in the plan, but just as she spots her opening—
“U-um, there’s something I n-need to talk to you about,” Bocchi says, after a somewhat lengthy silence.
“Hmm? What’s up, Bocchi?”
“It’s, um,” Bocchi seems to freeze, which is not that odd for Bocchi, but for some reason Kita feels concerned.
“Hey,” Kita says, keeping her tone light, “you can tell me anything. You know that, right?”
Bocchi nods, makes a small affirmative noise, looks up at Kita with a sudden determination. “I w-wanted to thank you. F-for walking to the s-station with me. F-for being my friend.”
For some reason, it sounds like Bocchi’s getting ready to say they can’t do this anymore. Is that what she’d been talking to Ryo about? Was there some problem? Did Bocchi figure it out? Kita feels like she might start crying if that’s the case. “Of course, Bocchi,” she says, keeping herself under control, “I wanted to walk with you, after all. You’re my friend,” even though that doesn’t feel like enough, she thinks, “and I-I’m so glad I met you!”
Then Bocchi says, “Um, I w-wanted to say t-that I th-think…” she takes a deep breath, and Kita feels panic starting to well up. What is Bocchi going to say? “I th-think,” Bocchi says, again, “we sh-should—”
Kita holds up a hand to stop Bocchi. “Please,” Kita says, and she can feel her eyes starting to burn, “don’t say it.”
Bocchi’s eyes widen, but she shakes her head. “I’m… sorry, but I h-have to. It isn’t… right for me not to. It’s not f-fair to you.”
I don’t care if it’s not fair to me, as long as we can stay together like this, Kita wants to say, but her mouth refuses to cooperate. Instead, what comes out is a whispered, “Please.”
“W-we should,” Bocchi tries again, but now it’s her voice faltering, and she looks like she’s about to fall over.
No, Kita thinks, upon seeing how much Bocchi’s struggling, she’s right. She needs to say this. It wouldn’t be fair to her. She shouldn’t have to worry about this anymore. It was a nice dream, but it wasn’t to be. I’ll get over it, she lies to herself. Kita masters herself, and smiles, even though she’s about to have her heart ripped out, and says, “Go ahead, Hitori. Say what you need to say.”
This seems to unlock something in Bocchi, who stands a little straighter, grasps both of Kita’s hands, stares her in the eyes, and with the same intensity she’d once used to tell Kita that she was surprised at how good she’d gotten at guitar, says, “I think we should date.”
Kita, who was prepared to bury her feelings forever, who somehow in spite of being the most socially aware member of the band managed to completely fuck up her read of this situation, blinks once, twice, and then, with all the grace that has made her a social butterfly at school, says, “Huh?”
“Um, it’s just th-that,” Bocchi drops Kita’s hands, wrings her own together nervously, “I um, th-think I… likeyouasmorethanafriendokayI’msorryImisreadthesituationmaybebutIthought—”
Kita once again holds up a hand to stop Bocchi talking, feels a surging giddiness as her brain picks apart the torrent of words Bocchi just unleashed and returns with good news: Bocchi just said she likes her as more than a friend, and would like to date.
“Really,” she asks, just to be sure, just to check that she isn’t going crazy. “You really… you like me? You want to date… me?”
Bocchi, temporarily unable to speak on account of being terrified, manages an affirmative nod.
“Ask me again,” Kita says, feeling her heart begin to soar. “Can you ask me again, Hitori?”
Bocchi looks a little confused. “N-now?”
“I’m sorry,” Kita says, “I know I’m being unreasonable, but… yes, now. Please.”
Gotoh Hitori takes a deep breath. “Ikuyo,” she says, which is almost enough to kill Kita on the spot, “I like you as more than a friend. Do you want to date?” She doesn’t stutter, or hesitate, or look away even once.
I had a whole plan, Kita doesn’t say. I was going to sweep you off your feet. I had a whole speech I was going to give about how I’ve fallen in love with you, she doesn’t add. It would’ve been incredibly romantic, she doesn’t continue, and I would’ve given you a cool guitar strap as a gift to mark the occasion where we became a couple.
Instead, Kita Ikuyo launches herself at Bocchi, wraps her arms around the astonished guitarist’s neck, and skips directly to step four of the Date Bocchi Plan. She kisses the hell out of that guitarist. A passing motorist honks their horn, and Kita gracefully and politely gives them the finger.
When they break apart, the lead guitarist of Kessoku Band does seem to have briefly forgotten her own name. The lead singer of Kessoku Band, who cannot currently remember her own name either, unleashes a smile that would light up Tokyo.
“Does that answer your question, Hitori?”
Bocchi blinks, processes, smiles in a way Kita has never seen before, and shyly replies, “C-could you maybe answer me again?”
Kita does. This time, when another motorist honks their horn (nosy fucking motorists, Kita briefly thinks, before focusing back on more important matters), Bocchi is the one who flips them off.
Both of them end up missing their trains and get home late. Neither of them mind.