Chapter Text
DATE: February 24, 1988
ENTRY TITLE: Response to Henderson’s assignment
I am not in school. This was not assigned to me. I am an adult who works a full time job. But I saw Henderson’s English assignment and it was too sweet not to write my own response (do not tell him I said that.) Plus, Joyce tells me I need to start talking about my feelings more, and Claudia has been nagging me to start writing in a journal. So win-win!
I think the kid’s prompt was something like, what does having a sibling mean to you, or whatever. Which is an interesting prompt for an honors English class, but Dustin told me it was to understand the characters better or some bs. I guess it does give a chance for good reflection.
So here’s my stab at it.
I grew up in a family that was never really a family. I didn’t have any siblings, my parents were always gone for work so they stuck me with nannies and shit, so my entire childhood was just me by myself. When they were around, my dad would drink and my mom would smoke and the only times we talked our voices were way louder then what a normal, loving family should be at. Then as soon as I graduated they all but left Hawkins. Hell, I haven’t seen them since a couple days after my graduation.
So yeah, I’ve never had a family. I didn’t really have friends either (or at least any that mattered). I drove the people who actually meant something to me away. Loneliness was my only friend, I guess.
Then one day, when I was trying to be a better person and bringing over flowers to apologize to Nance, some short, high pitched, nerdy little middle schooler comes over to me and dragged me to help him deal with some monster he had irresponsibly lost.
That was the best day of my life.
Because this kid, who was absolutely nothing like me at the time, became the first real friend I’ve ever had. And I guess, since I’m writing this, the kid became my brother.
Dustin Henderson. Nerdy, kind, stubborn, super smart, obnoxious, and brave. And so much more then I can even express. And somehow he chose me, who was a huge asshole at the time, to be the person he looked up to.
It never really felt like having an annoying kid following me around, because said kid made me laugh, and was incredibly genuine, and actually cared about my wellbeing. He wasn’t focused on my social status or my hair or some dumbass reason like that, for some reason he actually liked hanging out with me. And I liked hanging out with him too.
There was a lot of shit that happened between then and now that I don’t want to get in to. I don’t think this journal has enough pages for it. But against all odds, against the shit me and Henderson went through in these four years, we ended up even closer, and I think for the first time I really had a family. Have. Because he’s still here.
What was the prompt again? Oh yeah, what having a sibling means. Basically, what does having Dustin Clarence Henderson in my life mean to me?
Well, it means having someone who genuinely likes me. Having a best friend that thinks I’m cool aside from my hair and social status, or laughs at my jokes even if they’re kinda stupid, or still likes hanging out with me even though I’m really not as cool or badass as the kid originally thought I was.
I guess it means having someone who wants to know my favorite band and movie and flavor of ice cream. Someone who will just follow me around and talk. Someone who actually cares enough to come over when the house is empty. Who wants to hear about my nightmares.
Having a younger sibling, specifically, means having a purpose outside of high school. Because this kid needs me. He’s needed me for a long time, and protecting him is honestly what drives me. Making sure he doesn’t get himself hurt, holding him after a nightmare, just letting him know how important he is. Because it’s true. He's the best thing that ever happened to me.
It’s hard to describe. It’s mostly a lot of overwhelming feelings, and a lot of it makes my life worth living because of the fact that he’s here, that he chose me as his family.
I dunno. I guess it summary, I love that guy more than I’ve ever loved anyone. Which as Dustin loves to tease me, is super corny. But I don’t care because we’ve all about died a million times and there’s no use not saying it.
So, Dustin, if you’re reading this, first of all why are you looking through my stuff?
Second, I’m so thankful that you chose me as your brother. I’m so fucking proud of the person you are. You’re gonna change the world and I’ll get to brag to everyone that that kid’s my little brother. I couldn’t have gone through what we have if I didn’t have you right there beside me.
And lastly, I love you kid. Thanks for being my family.