Chapter Text
I nervously swallowed when I saw Izzy. I had no reason to be nervous. It was not like I had done anything wrong and yet the sight of my sister dressed surprisingly like our mother made me nervous. I shook off the feeling as I approached her. She looked at, like she was studying me. It was uncomfortable. Suddenly I feel my headache return. It had become a dull throb by the time I left Magnus’. Now it’s back.
I stupidly told her that I had not done much sleeping last night. Realizing how that sounded I quickly clarified that I had been helping out. Her disappointed sigh catches me off guard. I am surprised that she would do anything to imply that my staying with Magnus last night had been anything other than me doing my duty. When I asked her what she meant by that sigh she nonchalantly said “Nothing”.
Feeling the need to tell her something more yet not disclosing every detail I tell her that Magnus had made cocktails. Not only was it true but given the state of my headache, it would become very obvious that I was not on my A game today. She listens and instead of asking any of the questions I had predicted she would asks she tells me that I do not talk to her enough.
I hate that she’s right. She does tell me everything. It’s not been something that I can do too because my situation did not allow me to. She tells me that she’s ended it with Meliorn. I can see why she’s making these changes and I tell her she can’t change herself. I appreciate that she’s trying to help, but it does not change anything. As I make my way to my room for a much needed shower, she follows me.
I know Jace is not back yet and I tell her that is going to get me into trouble. She tells me that won’t happen because it’s Jace. It’s true but I need her to leave me alone to my thoughts for now, and so I leave. I realize that I should probably start talking about Magnus to her. After all she could help. With that thought I went ahead and enjoyed a nice shower, temporarily allowing myself to forget everything that was going on and thinking of just Magnus.
The events of last night and early this morning had me forget a pertinent fact. I am to be married. My parents had not yet informed me. For now I took solace in that fact, but it did not change the fact that it was to be my destiny. With a deep breath I returned to work.
My morning peace was disrupted when Jace called and asked for Izzy and me to meet him at the precinct. They said they had the Cup but lost it. When we got there they tell us we what had happened. It was a mess. As Jace was trying to come up with a plan, Clary haf asked if Magnus could portal us inside. Ha! That was not happening. My short and rather curt “No” received yet another quiet whisper from Izzy. She elaborates on my very short answer but I see that her initial reaction has everyone curious.
I needed to talk to her about not making anything painfully obvious. So a plan was made and for that reason Izzy and I had to walk into the building in full sight of mundanes. I never liked not using glamour. As we stood looking around I took in the place, entrances and exits all the usual things.
Then we had to distract a cop. She was a in her late forties by the looks of it. Izzy turns to me and tells me to go distract her. Like I had any idea what to do. I tell her as much but she brushes it off like it does not really matter and starts unbuttoning my shirt. I stop her. This is her thing not mine. She tells me I am more type. She quietly adds that this would be good practice for asking Magnus out.
I must have looked at her like she was crazy because she looks me in the eye and reassures me that I have got this. So I go ahead and disaster ensues. I have no idea what I am saying. I have no idea how to say anything and make myself seem attractive. She looks bored. I thank Raziel that this is a mere mundane I will never see again. If this is so bad how much worse would it be with Magnus, someone I was actually attracted to.
After I make a mess of things, somehow we manage to get past the cop. We find our way to the basement where we cut the power. Izzy and I meet both Jace and Clary out the precinct. They have the cup but now we were being chased by demons.
We managed to get away from the demon infested precinct. As we entered a basement, I realized that someone would have to stall the demons in case any had tailed us. I decide to stay back to fight off any demons to buy enough time for Jace, Clary and Izzy to get back to the institute. Nothing mattered more than getting the Cup safely to the institute. When I voice my decision to hold off the demons Jace quickly disagrees. I assure him it’s a one man task and Izzy backs me up. He reluctantly leaves.
I was confident that this would not be very difficult. A few minutes after they left the first demon came through the door. I nock my arrow and shoot. This was easy. Shooting arrows is something I could do in my sleep. After a while there are no more demons and I see Luke come through. Together we head in the direction they had left in earlier.
We find Clary first. She looks terrified. She looks at us with uncertainty in her eyes. Something clearly happened, I had no idea what. Luke tries to calm her down and reassure her that he really was Luke. I see ichor on the ground. She must have killed a demon. Once she believes Luke, we head back to the institute. Jace was running around making everyone work on tracking Clary. He was so engrossed in his task that he had not realized that Clary was right there.
I can see his eyes soften when he see her. He’s posture changes, suddenly he seems more relaxed. I see them speaking but I can’t hear anything. I see Izzy standing beside me, watching my reactions. I cannot turn away. I know I should. This is a moment between the two of them. I assuage my guilt by telling myself they in the center of the ops centre. I see Clary drag Jace’s lips to meet hers. They kiss. It’s full of passion and longing, like they have wanted to do that for a long time now. I feel a dull pain. It hurts to watch the man you’ve been in love with for your whole life kiss someone else. To see what it’s like to be kissed and never feel.
I finally tear my gaze away from the couple still embraced in a lip lock. I need to go, get out of here. I hear Izzy call out to me as I walk away. I know she wants to comfort me but I don’t want it. I want it to hurt. I need to feel the pain so I stop. I need to get rid of these feeling I harbored for Jace. It was ridiculous. As I make my way back to my room I know that it will take some time before I will stop being affected by Jace and Clary.
I take my clothes off and get into the shower. The hot water massages my aching muscle and washes away the events of today. As I get into my bed, I think of Magnus. I idly wonder what it would be like to kiss someone like him. Someone so beautiful and experienced. Would he laugh or find my inexperienced attempts endearing? Something tells me he would be a good teacher. Those are the last thoughts that cross my mind as I fall asleep.