Chapter Text
Several weeks passed. Lord Yagura, after donning a disguise, healed as many of the injured soldiers as he could before leaving. Kakashi recovered his strength and resumed his usual duties. Fighting drills took place daily as the soldiers became familiar with their outpost and new commander.
It was easy to say they were too busy to see each other, but Ao caught Guy’s eye and saw his own worry reflected there. Kakashi and Mei were avoiding each other. It was unclear to the men why or how it happened.
It was normal, of course, for Mei to return to her duties, especially considering how they’d multiplied. The informal dinners in the kitchens were a pleasant memory. With the militia moved in, meals had become bustling affairs in the great hall. Hired staff from the village hurried about, doing chores the trio used to handle themselves.
Mei had removed herself from the regular fighting men but would still occasionally spar with Guy. Meanwhile, Kakashi became like a shadow, doing his work faithfully but vanishing the moment Mei appeared. Guy attempted to speak to them separately about it but Kakashi ignored him and Mei became overly formal, brushing him off with excuses.
Then one day, Yagura returned for a visit, a grin on his face.
The young noble had much to report, including his pending marriage. He realized his error in announcing this first, as he was soon swamped with well-wishers. He swept his sister into her room as soon as he was able. It felt like they were kids again and he had a secret he was bursting to tell her.
“I’ve made inquiries,” Yagura began, nearly rubbing his hands in glee.
Mei frowned. “I don’t understand, into what?”
“You had written that Kakashi’s concern is that he is not your equal? I thought it would interest you to know that The White Knight occupied himself with farming when not on active duty. He worked a subsection of Lord Aye’s estate. That land was to become Sakumo Hatake’s own in the event of his lord’s death.”
Mei’s body froze. “What?”
Yagura nodded, finding joy in his sister’s hope. “Kakashi is a landowner and therefore a Lord of the Kingdoms by law.”
Mei was flooded with such feelings of elation that she could hardly stand it. Tempering her joy was the knowledge that Kakashi was a lord and she’d nearly wed another. She should have never accepted Lord Han’s offer. She should have expressed her feelings to Kakashi before, they could have been engaged by now! Lord Han would have backed down if she was already betrothed, she hoped.
Mei frowned. “But why this obstinate behavior? Kakashi was estranged from his father before his death. Is it possible he doesn’t know?”
Yagura shook his head. “I rode out and spoke to the…estate manager.” Yagura wasn’t sure what to call the man. He’d settled on estate manager but that seemed both too high and too low of a title. Too high because it wasn’t so much an estate as some farmland with a house on it. Too low because the man had clearly taken on all the duties of caring for the place himself and was doing it admirably. “Kakashi was aware of his holdings and refused them. The man, Yamato, was very pleased to hear that I’d seen Kakashi and had news of him.”
Mei thought of a conversation she’d had with Kakashi, it felt like a lifetime ago. She’d accused him of being a vagabond, of having no home. He had not disputed the accusation exactly but she now saw the reason for his evasion.
Mei clasped her brother’s hands. “Yagura, you’ve saved me again. Please excuse me.” She ran out.
000She’s the Beast000
It didn’t take Mei long to find Kakashi. It was only she that he avoided. Anyone else could tell her where he was to be found. Mei stepped over and around the drying vines in the squash field. She marched straight at Kakashi, not giving him the chance to get away.
Sensing conflict, everyone else working the field shifted away as if Mei and Kakashi were oil to their water. Gords were quickly loaded into baskets or wheelbarrows and hurried back to the cellars. Kakashi glanced over to see why everyone was leaving their work. He quickly turned his attention back to the vines when he spied Mei.
She arrived at his side and put her hands on her hips. Kakashi continued to harvest the squash as if she didn’t exist. “You’re Lord Hatake?” Mei accused.
Kakashi froze, but did not look up when he spoke. “I am no lord, my lady.” His words were cold, overly formal.
“You own property,” Mei pointed out.
“My father was gifted an inheritance upon the death of his lord.” Kakashi let that sink in. His shoulders slumped as if he was already wearied by the conversation.
“Your father was not responsible for-”
Kakashi suddenly straightened, eyes hard. He focused on a spot just past her left ear. “He let his lord die and then benefitted from it? No. I refused the land, refused the title, refused my father’s farm, refused my childhood home to which I can no longer return.”
Mei straightened her back as she absorbed his angry words. “Why couldn’t you return?”
Kakashi’s voice softened. His eyes met hers and they were like the wells of despair she’d sunk into when she’d arrived at the castle. “I refused my inheritance Mei. It was good farmland. They weren’t going to let it lie as wasteland. No doubt the property was reabsorbed by Lord Aye’s kin. I was happy for it. It was what little I could give back after my father,” he stopped himself. His eyes found Mei’s again and that gave him courage. “I was willing to wander until the earth reclaimed me.” He wiped his dirty hands on a towel. “Then I met you. You made me regret a past I thought I’d buried. If I had accepted those holdings, meagre though they were, then, at least by law, I would be worthy of you."
“What makes you think I find you unworthy?” Mei’s heart was heavy at his sadness.
“The world isn’t as simple as what you think of me,” Kakashi said. “My reputation is not what you deserve.”
“And mine is what you deserve?”
Kakashi had no answer for that. “Either way, I am sorry, now. You are the only one who could make me regret refusing my inheritance. I had the key to your happiness, for you’ve made it clear that you want me to make you happy, and I threw it away. So no, I am not worthy of you, careless that I am.”
Mei clenched her teeth. “You should know that I threw away your happiness as well.”
Kakashi frowned at her, but his eyes urged her to go on.
“Lord Han told me, after the war council, that if I didn’t agree to marry him, he would allow the Guthlrel to take the village and castle before destroying them.”
Kakashi went as still as a statue. “And…you had a minimal garrison to defend the villagers.” Horror overtook him. Neither he, nor Ao had known where the enemy was located. Lord Han could have marched them in the wrong direction and they wouldn’t have questioned it. Wasn’t that what a war council was for? Why hadn’t he asked for details then? Lord Han purposely omitting that information was suddenly so obvious, Kakashi berated himself.
“The siege wouldn’t have taken long,” Mei agreed.
Kakashi’s face crumpled, realizing what Lord Han would have demanded, something he couldn’t get otherwise. “Mei-”
She held up a hand to stop him. “I knew what I was doing, what it meant. I think you’d agree our lives are not worth more than the villagers’?”
Kakashi’s sorrowful face remained but there was a glint of steel in his eye. “No.”
“Right,” Mei agreed, nervous, “so-”
Kakashi kissed her, right there in the field with dirt under their feet and the blue harvest sky overhead.
Before she could say another word, before he had to say goodbye, he wanted them to have this moment. It was clear to him now. When she married another, he would make her miserable if he stayed. He would have to go and soon. But if they weren’t to be together, then he wanted her to know exactly how he felt both now and to the end of his days. That was the only thing he could give her, that and his departure.
Mei melted into him, her body at home in his arms. It was their first real embrace and she never wanted it to end. The rightness of it overwhelmed her, the way they fit together as two flawed people that became one.
When her head stopped floating she straightened, unsure when her knees had given out. Kakashi had held her up and she hadn’t even noticed. She did notice that Kakashi’s smile was sad.
Mei put her hand on his chest and smiled up at him. She hoped she could do something about his smile. “Does the name Yamato mean anything to you?”
Kakashi straightened at the name but didn’t speak. It was as if he’d been struck by lightning. His lips parted, his breathing stilled.
“My brother says he’s been managing your property for you since the end of the war.” Mei took pleasure in the gleam of hope in Kakashi’s eyes. “Why would he do that?”
It took Kakashi a moment to find his voice. “Yamato was in the…custody…of the Guthlrel when I found him. Unfortunately, he was the only one I could save. He’d witnessed the deaths of the others.”
Mei almost smiled, despite knowledge of Yamato’s ordeal, because of course Kakashi had saved his life. “Is there anyone you know that you haven’t saved from certain death?”
“I don’t know a lot of people,” Kakashi argued weakly. He was overwhelmed by Yamato’s generosity. What he must have gone through to maintain the land, alone, on Kakashi’s behalf. He would have been working for nothing with no reason to hope for Kakashi’s return, no way to contact him.
Kakashi had regretted losing his childhood home but when he’d gotten to know Mei, that choice had cut to his heart.
“I believe I owe Yamato a visit,” was all Kakashi could utter.
“I would very much like to accompany you,” Mei declared.
Kakashi smiled, the look she gave him softened his whole being. “Your company would be a pleasure.”
000She’s the Beast000
They rode their horses over the bridge, Mei not giving the river a second thought. The couple was on their way to see Kakashi’s lordship acknowledged and then to be married.
“Perhaps you can solve a mystery for me.” Mei began as they left the village behind and continued down the road.
“Oh?” Kakashi asked, giving his horse a scratch.
“When the villagers came to the castle, they spoke of a beast.” Kakashi’s mouth quirked into a smile as Mei continued. “I kept telling them there was no beast. Why are you laughing?”
Kakashi reigned in his mirth. Ever since Mei had agreed to marry him, he’d proposed this time, he wasn’t far from laughter. The joy just bubbled out. “I don’t know how the rumor started but the villagers warned me that a beast lived in that castle. When you sent Guy back to the village, he and I were both under the impression that-”
Mei waited, then became impatient. “What?”
“When we first saw you, felt the room chill at your presence, saw your long hair, we didn’t believe you were human.”
“My- oh,” Mei stared straight ahead for a moment. “Oh!” She began to laugh, the sound twisting Kakashi’s stomach in the most pleasing way. “I’m the beast?” Her eyes shone with amusement.
“You weren’t wrong when you told them there was no more beast,” Kakashi pointed out.
Mei wiped a tear from her eye. “You slayed it, to be sure.”
Kakashi almost objected to that but he thought of the mass of hair he’d left by the riverside. It had looked like a dead animal. “I’m glad you survived.”
“I’m glad you stayed.”
“Yes,” Kakashi seriously. “Otherwise you’d be riding off to marry Guy right now.”
They both laughed as they continued on their journey. There would be hardships down the road. They would argue, make up, fight alongside each other, disagree on how a castle was to be run, but nothing, not a pending invasion nor political repercussions nor illness nor sorrow could tear them apart. They had each other and knew, at the end of the day, to be grateful for every moment.
The End