Chapter Text
Leo met Sangwon in the most embarrassing way possible.
It was a winter evening. He finished eating his dinner and was throwing out the trash. He was wearing a Hello kitty shirt which was a gift from a friend, he hated it ofcourse but couldn't let it go to waste, so he wore them.
He just took anything he found in his closet before heading outside. It happened to be a black leather jacket which he wore only once before.
After he threw the trash, he saw a boy sitting alone on the far bench, his knees pulled up and hoodie pulled low. It looked like he had run away from home. Leo didn’t know why he approached the boy. He just did. He sat down on the other end of the bench, leaving a careful distance. He didn't say a word.
The boy was shivering. His shirt too thin for the cold. Leo didn’t think twice, he just shrugged off his jacket and draped it over the smaller shoulders. Only then did he realize the Hello kitty shirt was now fully exposed under the street lights. God, he must have looked ridiculous. He felt his face burn.
The boy looked up, clearly startled. Their eyes met for the first time. Sangwon, though Leo didn’t know his name yet, blinked animatically and then let out the smallest, surprised laugh. Leo noticed he had only three incisors. How cute.
But Leo wanted to disappear into the ground. Was the boy laughing at his shirt?
Sangwon pulled the jacket tighter around himself, the oversized sleeves swallowing his hands, and murmured a quiet “Thanks.”
They sat like that for a while. No names were exchanged that day. Leo didn’t expect to see him again.
But fate is really funny.
A few weeks later, He saw Sangwon in the hallways of his high school, one year below him. Leo recognized him instantly. The jacket was gone, instead he was wearing the basic school uniform. But Sangwon was still shining brightly.
Sangwon probably thought of him as the quiet senior who barely spoke. Leo wasn’t quiet by nature, he was nervous. He didn't know why though. He wasn't like this with others. Words got tangled in his throat whenever Sangwon was near.
Sangwon was a mystery Leo couldn’t solve and didn’t want to stop trying to.
They started talking in fragments. About what they ate or about the science homework. A shared complaint about cafeteria food. Leo held onto every word.
When they both got into their dream university, Leo didn’t think twice. He grabbed Sangwon’s hand in the middle of the cracked pathway and squeezed. Sangwon squeezed back. They jumped together like kids, laughing, breathless, and for one perfect second Leo thought: This could last forever.
But doubt crept in slowly, the way mold grows in corners.
Sangwon loved him, he knew that. The way he looked at Leo sometimes, soft and unguarded, made it impossible not to know. But Leo started wondering if he was the only one trying.
Does Sangwon not like holding his hand? Was his palm too sweaty? Did he scare him when he gave up the Australia scholarship just because he cried that one night? Was cutting his hair because he once said he liked it short too much? too obsessive? too desperate? Does he think he was nuts?
No. Sangwon wasn’t like that. He never judged. He never pulled away. Still, Leo felt it, the quiet imbalance. The fear that he was pouring everything into someone who might not need him the same way.
He didn’t know exactly when Sangwon became his everything.
Leo loves watching Sangwon dance.
Leo had no business being there. He’d slipped into the back of the university dance club practice room, hiding behind the doorframe like a coward. He just wanted a glimpse, wanted to see Sangwon move with the music.
Sangwon was beautiful.
Not in the performative way. In the raw, most honest way. Every step looked like it came from somewhere deep inside him, like he was saying things with his body that he never said out loud. Leo couldn’t look away.
He stayed too long.
Someone started speaking behind him which made him flinch.
“You’re not subtle, you know.”
Leo turned. A boy with sharp cheekbones and big round eyes stood there, arms crossed. It was Zhang Jiahao. One of Sangwon’s dance group seniors.
Jiahao tilted his head toward the practice floor where Sangwon was still moving, oblivious.
“You come here a lot lately,” Jiahao said, his voice low and calm, “For him?” Leo felt his ears burn. He didn’t answer.
Jiahao only shrugged. “He’s good, isn’t he? Makes you want to stay and watch forever.”
Leo looked back at Sangwon, sweat dripping on his neck, hair falling into his eyes, completely lost in the music.
“Yeah,” he whispered. “He really is.”
Leo was relieved that it was Jiahao who caught him that day.
Jiahao didn’t make it weird. He even urged him to confess. He didn’t laugh too loud or tease mercilessly. He just smiled that knowing smile, leaned against the doorframe, and said, “You’re not the first person to stare at him like that.” Then he let it drop. No judgment. No gossip.
Jiahao was kind. He was also an incredible dancer, fluid, confident, the kind of person who made the room feel alive without trying too hard. They clicked almost immediately after that. Jiahao knew Leo’s embarrassing secret but he kept it lowkey. Never brought it up unless Leo did first. Leo was grateful for him in a way he couldn’t quite put into words.
Maybe, Leo thought, Jiahao could be a bridge. A way to talk to Sangwon about dancing without sounding like he was trying too hard. Leo always felt too boring next to Sangwon’s passion. Sangwon burned bright when he moved, beautiful in a way Leo could never match. So when Sangwon asked one lazy afternoon, “So you like dancers?” Leo quickly said yes. A little hopeful. He hoped Sangwon would catch the hint, would see that the answer wasn’t about dancers in general. It was about him.
But Sangwon changed after that.
He stopped meeting Leo’s eyes for longer than a second. His smiles turned polite in a way. He was always busy, always on his tiptoes, rushing off to the library, head down, phone in hand. Leo knew Sangwon loved books. He knew the library was Sangwon’s safe place. But this felt different. It felt like Sangwon was hiding. Like he didn’t need Leo anymore.
Leo missed him. Missed the easy afternoons on the couch, missed the way Sangwon used to lean against him without thinking, missed the stupid arguments about what to eat. He kept insisting on staying home whenever they made plans because he knew Sangwon would change his mind, would come over anyway, would chase him a little. Leo liked being pursued. It made him feel wanted.
But Sangwon stopped chasing. Messages grew shorter. Replies slower. Sometimes no reply at all.
One evening Leo went to the dance studio again. He told himself it was just to check if Sangwon was okay. Sangwon wasn’t there. The practice room was half empty, music still playing, but no sign of him. Leo turned to leave and ran into Jiahao instead.
They ended up sitting on the bleachers outside, sharing a soda from the vending machine. It was too sour. Leo winced after the first sip. Jiahao laughed. “You always make that face. Man up a little." Leo huffed a laugh. They sat in silence. finishing the drink. Jiahao had the can beside him. When Leo stood to leave, he reached to take the can with himself to throw it in the trashcan. Somehow their necklaces caught together, tangled within a second. Leo tugged his head too fast. The chain snapped.
He stared at the broken pieces like they were blood droplets falling from a cut.
Jiahao’s rushed to apologize. “I’m so sorry-shit, Leo, I didn’t mean-let me fix it or buy you a new one"
“It’s okay,” Leo said automatically. He forced a smile. “It’s just a necklace.”
It wasn’t just a necklace. It was their necklace. The matching one he and Sangwon had chosen together years ago. The crescent moons that used to feel like a secret promise. Now it lay broken in his palm, and Leo felt something inside him crack along with it.
When he and Sangwon finally met again, at his apartment like always, Sangwon asked the question.
“Where’s your necklace?” Leo’s heart started beating fast. He couldn’t tell the truth. Couldn’t say he’d torn it, couldn’t say it happened because he’d gone to watch Sangwon dance. So he lied.
“It’s in my drawer. Forgot to put it on today.” Sangwon nodded. Leo didn't notice the way his mouth tightened for half a second before he smiled again.
Sangwon became even more distant. Leo hated himself a little more that day.
He didn’t know how to fix it. Didn’t know how to say that he still cared, still cared so much it hurt but that the space between them had grown too wide for him to cross alone. He didn’t know how to admit that maybe he’d been waiting for Sangwon to chase him forever, and when Sangwon stopped, Leo didn’t know what to do next.
So he stayed quiet. Kept the broken chain in his pocket. And let Sangwon slip further away.
Leo never drank.
Not really. Maybe once or twice when Sangwon was around, small sips of soju from the same bottle, Sangwon’s laughter louder than the burn in his throat. Leo liked the way Sangwon’s cheeks flushed pink. But alone? He didn’t know how to mourn, didn’t know how to sit with the hollow ache that had settled in his chest like a guest who refused to leave. So when the silence became too loud, he went to the only person he could think of.
Jiahao.
Jiahao opened the door in an old hoodie, hair messy, no questions asked. He listened to Leo ramble about Sangwon’s careful distance, about how he felt like he’d lost something he never even had the courage to name. Leo didn’t know what came over him. Maybe it was the broken heart talking, maybe it was the stupid, desperate need to feel wanted for once. He leaned in and kissed Jiahao.
It wasn’t gentle. It was hungry, messy, lips crashing until they were both breathless and Jiahao’s lips were bright red. When Leo’s mouth moved to Jiahao’s neck, tasting his skin, Jiahao’s hands came up and stopped him.
“Hey,” Jiahao whispered, voice soft, “Not like this. You’re not okay.”
Leo froze. Humiliation burned through him, but Jiahao didn’t push him away. He just pulled Leo into a hug instead. He could hear the Jiahao's heartbeat. It calmed him.
It became a habit. A bad one. Whenever the emptiness felt too big, whenever Sangwon’s silence rang louder than words, Leo would show up at Jiahao’s door. They’d kiss. Sometimes slow, sometimes frantic until Leo could breathe again. Jiahao never asked for more. But Leo could see it in his eyes the quiet question he never voiced.
How much longer are you going to pine after your best friend? Jiahao had no right to say it. He never did. He was just human trying to be kind, trying not to fall too deep while holding someone who was already falling apart.
Then Sangwon walked in.
Leo still remembers the exact sound two soju bottles shattering on the hardwood, glass exploding. He’d jerked away from Jiahao, heart in his throat, and there was Sangwon frozen in the doorway. He told Sangwon they weren't dating. Maybe he should have only then he would have moved on.
Leo couldn’t sleep that night. Leo stared at the ceiling. He kept replaying Sangwon’s expression. Did Sangwon think they were dating? Did Sangwon even care? Or had he already stopped caring a long time ago?
Leo saw Sangwon’s Instagram story. Two matching keychains, cute little bears photographed together like it was nothing. Like it was their thing. The thing Leo and Sangwon used to do, matching accessories, matching cloths, matching everything. Sangwon had replaced it. So easily.
Jiahao watched Leo’s face crumple. He couldn’t stand it anymore. As his friend, not as whatever they’d become in the dark, he finally spoke.
“You are overthinking, maybe buy him something too,” Jiahao said quietly. “Try confessing. Maybe he likes you too.”
Leo looked at him. Jiahao should think about himself sometimes. He should be angry. He should leave. But he didn’t.
So they made plans. They’d go to the jewelry shop together. Leo would find something to give Sangwon. A desperate last try.
But then Sangwon texted. “Hey hyung, My friend's birthday is next week, wanna go gift shopping this weekend?”
Leo stared at the message until it blurred. He already had plans with Jiahao. He’d already dragged Jiahao into enough of his mess, enough late nights, enough kisses that meant nothing and everything, enough guilt. Changing plans now would just be another inconvenience. He couldn’t do that to Jiahao again.
So he replied to Sangwon "Sorry, busy this week. Have fun though." He hated himself for it.
They went to the jewelry shop anyway, him and Jiahao. Leo looked around, restless, picking up chains and putting them down again. Nothing felt right. Nothing felt like them.
Then he saw it.
A pair of rings. Simple silver bands, delicate crescent moons etched into the surface just like the necklaces they’d bought years ago. The same tiny moons that used to dangle against Sangwon’s collarbone when they hugged.
Perfect.
Leo’s fingers hovered over the glass case. His throat closed. He could already picture Sangwon’s face when he gave them, surprised, maybe soft, maybe the way he used to look at Leo before everything turned careful and distant.
Jiahao watched him silently. Leo wanted to understand what those eyes meant.
Leo bought them.
He told himself he’d give them to Sangwon soon. He told himself he’d apologize. He told himself this time he wouldn’t wait for Sangwon to chase him, he’d chase instead.
Leo wanted to fix everything before Sangwon’s birthday. He wanted to sit him down, explain the broken necklace, the kisses with Jiahao, the way he’d been too scared or too stupid to say what he really felt. But Sangwon didn’t pick up calls. Messages sat unread mocking Leo every time he opened the chat. Each ignored notification felt like another door slamming shut.
He thought he’d lost his chance. Completely.
It was Jiahao who kept giving him hope, even when Leo didn’t deserve it anymore.
“You’re not done yet,” Jiahao said one night, voice quiet but certain. “Sangwon likes you too. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. This is your last try. Surprise him on his birthday. Do it right.”
Leo felt the guilt twist deeper every time Jiahao spoke like that, still here despite everything. He’d used Jiahao like a drug. A warm body to kiss when the loneliness got loud. A shoulder to cry on when Sangwon pulled further away. And Jiahao never asked for anything in return.
“What would I do without you, Hao?” Leo had whispered once. Jiahao just smiled sadly and said nothing.
So they planned. Leo called Sangwon saying he already had plans on his birthday. Sangwon didn’t reply. Only a few days left until everything will be alright.
When the clock hit midnight, Leo called anyway. He waited through the rings, praying for an answer, for anything. Nothing. The call went unnoticed.
Shit. Is he mad? Leo’s mind spiraled. Should he run to Sangwon’s house right now? Bang on the door? Beg?
He was halfway to grabbing his car keys when Jiahao’s hand closed around his wrist.
“It’s too late,” Jiahao said softly. “Think about yourself for once, Leo. Wait until morning. If he doesn’t pick up then we can think about going to his.”
Leo hated how right he was. He waited. Rearranged the balloons Jiahao had blown up earlier. Stared at the two silver rings sitting on the coffee table like they were judging him.
When morning came and Sangwon finally answered the call, Leo’s hands shook so badly he almost dropped the phone.
Sangwon sounded tired. Saying he was sick. But he agreed to come over. Leo hated that he wasn't with him while he was sick.
Leo couldn’t stop trembling after that. Jiahao moved quietly around the apartment checking the decorations one last time, straightening the ribbon on a small cake, making sure everything was perfect.
When the doorbell rang, Leo froze. Feet rooted to the floor. Every breath felt too loud.
Jiahao came up behind him and gave a gentle push between his shoulder blades. “Go.” Leo opened the door.
Sangwon stood there, eyes a little red, expression calm in that way that always scared Leo more than anger ever could.
“Happy birthday, Won,” Leo managed, voice cracking on the last word.
Sangwon smiled. “Thank you.” Then, without pause: “Hyung... I liked you. No-I loved you. For a long time.”
Leo’s world tilted.
Sangwon kept talking, calm like he’d rehearsed it. “But I’ve finally moved on. I never thought I would say this anytime soon and specially directly to you."
Leo couldn’t breathe. Sangwon liked him? Loved him? When? How long? Why tell him now when everything was already over?
Sangwon mentioned someone else. Someone waiting for him. He smiled again that stupid, beautiful smile Leo had loved since the first meeting at the bench. Leo still liked it. Even now. Even as it cut him open.
Sangwon turned to leave. Without giving him any explanation.
Leo stood in the doorway long after Sangwon disappeared down the hall. The rings burned in his clenched fist.
Jiahao appeared beside him, quiet as always. He didn’t say anything at first. Just stood there, shoulder brushing Leo’s.
His voice soft and sad “Guess you took too long to confess”
A beat.
“Yeah,” he whispered. “Too bad the rings are too pretty.”
Tears threatened to fall. He didn’t let them.
He closed the door. The cake sat untouched.
And Leo finally understood what mourning felt like. Understood that Sangwon really got away.