Chapter Text
The morning sun seeped through the window, light falling in long strips over the floor and furniture, painting everything in its path with a gentle glow. Warmth crept over Nagi as he fluttered his eyes open to a new day. Hm..everything is nice and shiny today..like Reo.
Reo.
He was going to see him today. Maybe that’s why the morning was so soft and shimmering. The chirping birds outside were as happy as his heart. Do these birds have their own Reo too? Everyone deserved their Reo.
Not my Reo though, they could find their own…
He brushed his teeth and got ready slowly..slowly..was time even passing? Did it conspire to go slower today to make him long for Reo more?
When he went to dress, he scanned his closet for something good enough to wear. I really need to buy some new clothes..Stuff Reo likes..
Ahh..what a pain..
He flipped through them until he found a nice cardigan he hadn't worn before, “this will do it.”
The weather was lovely outside, and the forecast said there would be no rain; a perfect day to meet up with Reo..though, every single day would be better with a Reo meetup.
During the bus ride, he put on his headphones and his thoughts drifted to Reo. Traces of subtle sadness drizzled on his heart as he thought of what Reo had said. Maybe this was all just to post a picture and promote their channels. But whatever, it was still a date...to him at least. He’d jump into any hole if the promise of seeing Reo awaited him at the bottom. The thought of seeing that beautiful smile in person today ebbed all negative thoughts away. Just seeing it on the screen last night cracked his brain and implanted itself in every little blank space and corner. Nothing else mattered. There was no denying their bond, no matter what Reo said..it was probably just an idea and not the sole purpose of meeting up..he knew that much.
And when he called him “good boy” last night...Nagi almost lost it. He had to mute himself to stop the boiling words flowing through his veins to erupt. If he had opened his mouth before he extinguished those embers, then he definitely would have ruined the friendship. Though, sometimes “ruining the friendship” presented itself on a golden plate he craved to take a bite from. Just once..and then, he would appease this hunger for more.
As he neared the bus stop near the coffee shop where he was meeting Reo, the dreaded sound of rhythmic tapping on the bus’s roof was heard. Is that..but..it was so sunny this morning..
What a pain..I don’t have an umbrella.
Raindrops continued to strike the roof, lightly at first before pouring all at once.
The forecast lied I guess..just great.
Once he arrived at the stop, he got out of the bus, unable to shield himself at all. Not only did he not bring an umbrella, he also didn’t wear a hoodie to try to put on something nicer. Now, both his clothes and hair were drenched.
What a pain, what a pain, he kept muttering inside his head as he walked towards the coffee shop. First time slowing down this morning, now the weather, it was like all components of the universe were colluding with one another, and he was their target. Did they do this on purpose to keep him away from Reo? Not a chance. He’d swim there if he had to.
When he saw Reo standing outside the door, hiding under the awning, he understood why the weather turned on him. It wasn’t some conspiracy. The sun went into hiding behind the clouds, making way for the light beaming in Reo’s radiant smile. “Nagi!”
He was about to walk towards him, so Nagi ran fast, reaching him instead. “Hey.”
“You’re drenched!” Reo frowned, ruffling his hair. The frown then melted into a little grin, “heh.”
Nagi tried to act like Reo’s touches didn’t make his heart grow wings, “hm, what’s so funny?”
“Nothing..” Reo looked away, turning on his heel to head inside, “come, I have a spare hoodie in my bag, I always keep one, just in case.”
Reo’s hoodie huh..Hm..maybe the universe was actually doing me a favor.
Nagi made a mental note to forget to return that hoodie later, “yeah, thanks..”
“Cute outfit by the way!” Reo smiled, “I only get to see you in stuff other than your black and grey hoodies in person huh?”
Cute huh..you’re the cute one..the culmination of all things beautiful and bright. “Reo looks great today, uh..every day.”
Reo turned around, walking straight towards the coffee shop’s bathroom, “well aren’t you quite the charmer today.”
Nagi figured out he was blushing. Quite the paradox, that Reo. Compliments himself, beams with pride, yet turns into a cute dainty rose with certain words.
“Alright,” Reo said as they stepped inside. It was a small washroom with sinks along the wall, and two doors leading to the bathrooms.
Reo slipped his bag off his shoulder and reached into it, pulling out his dark purple hoodie, “here ya go.”
“Thanks,” Nagi uttered before immediately starting to undress. Then, he instantly heard a flustered splutter, “woah woah Nagi! Change inside the actual bathroom!”
“Is there a problem,” Nagi asked, pretending to be unaware.
Reo faltered, rubies searing across his cheeks. His lips remained parted, unable to string proper words together nor close them. “Nagi, uh..” he eyed the ceiling, but his gaze kept dropping back to Nagi’s torso, before snapping away again, “just be quick with it!”
Heh, Reo’s so cute..
Nagi put on the hoodie, maintaining a straight face and feigning ignorance, as if he couldn’t see Reo’s eyes that kept betraying him. “Hm..fits nicely..”
Reo finally looked right at him without finding every wall in the room interesting, “you sure you’re fine?”
“I’m fine, Reo, don’t worry.” More than fine..Reo’s hoodie is so warm, smells like him too..
“Here,” Reo took Nagi’s shirt and cardigan, “I’ll put them in my bag. Different compartments, my stuff won't get affected, all good.”
After everything was settled, they sat down to order drinks. Nagi ordered lemon tea and Reo scanned every item around five times before settling on Caramel Macchiato and Tiramisu, “we’ll share the tiramisu,” he told Nagi.
“Hm..never tried it.” Nagi replied, sinking onto the table and looking up at Reo, almost dreamily.
“Heh, up sleepyhead,” Reo smiled, patting his head, “and seriously, you never tried it?”
Nagi closed his eyes, basking in the warmth of Reo’s touch, “hm..looks like it’ll be a new thing I try cause of Reo..”
“Heh, I’ll be happy to show you the world.” Reo smiled, stroking his hair. His hand lingered in those strands before suddenly pulling away, as if he just realized what he was doing.
Nagi puffed, shielding his disappointment as he sat back upright, “so what’s the purpose of our hangout?”
“Hm?” Reo raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to meet his gaze, “must I need a purpose to see ya?”
“But you said yesterday..that we should post photos together and stuff..” Nagi replied.
“Oh um,” Reo cleared his throat, and Nagi saw his eyes widening for a fraction of a second, or maybe it was a trick of his imagination. “Right that, the photos..let’s wait for our order first.”
Hm..Did Reo forget about the pictures? Does he have another purpose behind this date? Doesn’t matter..he’s here in front of me and that’s what mattered..
He pulled on all the strings inside of him to prevent every single wave that was sending signals to his fingers, to walk towards Reo’s hand that rested on the table, to lace themselves with his own, to hold his hand.. “This place..is nice,” he commented, steering his brain elsewhere.
“You like it?” Reo asked, his smile never leaving his face, “didn’t take you for the guy who enjoyed coffee shops.”
“They’re calm..and smell nice,” Nagi elaborated, “and..the company’s nice.”
“So you’d like any place if the company was me huh,” Reo grinned, and Nagi just nodded, not really hiding that fact.
“Yeah, anywhere is nice if Reo is there,” he answered calmly. Reo’s eyes lit up, melting into soft violet rivers that matched the gentleness of the smile painting his face.
“You’re..surprising ya know,” he said, avoiding eye contact and playing with the tissue box on the table, “you’re..good company too.”
“Reo thinks so?” He asked, not really waiting for an answer, “then..let’s always be each other’s company, promise?”
Reo kept on smiling, a smile so warm like jumping into the safety of one’s favorite childhood memories. “Yeah, I promise.”
When their drinks and dessert arrived, Reo arranged them aesthetically on the table to take a photo, “there we go..Nagi, come sit closer.”
Nagi obeyed, sitting close..too close that their heads bumped together. He wanted to hold him, to kiss his cheek, or his lips..anything. But he stifled the urges. Just a quick photo, nothing else-
Hm..?
He felt Reo’s arm drape around him, enveloping him like a cozy blanket, “smile Nagi!” He said, extending his arm to snap the picture.
Nagi didn’t smile, he never did, he just stared at Reo, Reo who had his arm around him almost intimately. What could he lose if he just leaned in and-
“Eyes on the camera Nagi,” Reo chided, “not on my face.”
“But I want to look at you.” Nagi said, taking in the little pink hue on Reo’s face that was barely visible, but definitely there.
“Okay fine,” Reo huffed, taking the photo, then nagging Nagi to look at the camera for another one. Nagi complied, sliding even closer to Reo. If it was possible, he’d gladly sink right into him.
“They turned out great,” Reo smiled, “we should meet up more often and take more pictures.”
“Reo likes taking photos?” Nagi asked, returning back to his original position..as much as it pained him.
“Yep,” Reo answered with a grin, “it’s nice to document good moments.”
“Hm..” Nagi nodded in agreement, snapping a photo of Reo as he sipped his drink.
Reo put his drink down, eying Nagi, “what was that for?”
“Documenting good moments..” Nagi repeated, putting his phone down and picking up his own drink. Reo stared at him for a moment before chuckling softly.
“I better look good in that,” he teased.
“Reo always looks good,” Nagi replied calmly, testing how much he could make Reo blush today, but it seemed Reo was starting to control it more.
As they chatted, Reo paused to take a bite out of the dessert, “mm..this tiramisu is so good!” He scooped up another spoonful, holding it towards Nagi, “here, try it.”
Nagi didn’t even question it, opening his mouth to take the bite, “hm..it is yummy..”
“Right?”
“Feed me more?” He asked shamelessly, opening his mouth and waiting for the next spoonful. Reo smiled and obliged without hesitation. He kept alternating between bites for himself and feeding Nagi until the plate was empty.
“Hey Nagi,” Reo continued their conversation, “did the chat’s comments yesterday bother you?”
Nagi shook his head. Bother him? He’d be writing the same things. “I mean..there was nothing wrong with them,” he answered, quickly adding an “I guess” after to seem more nonchalant about it.
“Not even the marriage stuff? And saying..ya know.” Reo muttered, not repeating their words, but Nagi remembered them all anyway.
“It’s all fine, really,” Nagi assured him.
It doesn’t bother me at all. They’re not wrong about anything they say about me. I want you, Reo, like the sea longs for the moon, leaping upwards. You’re the light of my life.
But he kept that to himself.
After their coffee shop date, they strolled together on the pavement since it wasn’t raining anymore. Reo kept chatting with Nagi and pausing every now and then to look at the shops. Then, he skidded to a stop, pointing at a ridiculously creepy plush keychain. It was a bear, or perhaps a bunny..Nagi couldn’t even tell what it was. He just knew it was very weird..and the smile freaked him out rather than being cute.
“It’s adorable!” Reo grinned, “I want one.”
“...Really?” Nagi asked, unable to see the cuteness no matter how hard he stared, but Reo seemed to be in love with the little monster.
“Yeah!” Reo insisted, “don’t you think it’s cute, Nagi?”
“It sure is..something.”
Reo picked up a purple one and a white one, “we can match!”
“Oh, the thing comes in colors too..” Nagi tried to maintain a neutral tone.
“Yeah, isn’t that great?”
Reo was too eager and happy, wanting to get something they could match together..how could I say no?
“Yeah,” Nagi nodded, “I’d like the purple one though..”
“Yeah, I wanted the white one,” Reo nodded enthusiastically, rushing inside to buy them.
If it’d make Reo happy, Nagi would put 100 little monsters keychains on his bag. A purple one would be cute anyway.
Reo came out of the store, beaming brightly, “here ya go, it’s a gift from me.”
“Thank you Reo..I’ll treasure it.” Nagi said softly, looking at his little purple monster. Hm..perhaps he is kind of cute afterall.
They continued to walk side by side, and Nagi tried once more to silence the voices begging to hold Reo’s hand. Don’t do that, don’t do that, don’t do that.
“Woah!” Reo’s startled yelp yanked him away from the persisting thoughts. He didn’t notice when Reo had slipped. The floor was still somewhat wet from the rain earlier.
But, Reo didn’t fall right into the ground. He managed to hold himself up with grace, kneeling on one knee, “phew..if my face had hit the floor that would have been painful.”
Nagi looked down at him, a flicker of a smile gliding across his face, almost, but not quite, “heh.”
Reo feigned a glare, “what? People falling amuses you?”
“It was kinda funny..and you’re kinda making the chat’s comments come true.”
“Huh?” Reo asked, before realizing the position he was in, and that familiar red paint spilled over his cheeks again, “wait no! I..I’m not proposing!”
“Hm..I wouldn’t really mind if you do.”
“Don’t mess with me Nagi,” he huffed as he stood up.
“Hm..okay.” Nagi replied, not being able to admit that he wasn’t messing around. He didn’t really picture a future with anyone else, and he didn’t think he ever would.
**
By the evening, Nagi had showered, dried his hair and prepared for his stream. He put on Reo’s hoodie again, not wanting to part with it..probably ever. He’d wear it every single day if he could. Once the stream was set and people started coming in, he had barely gotten out a “hey chat” before messages started swarming:
phxntomthief13: SCREAMING IT’S REO’S HOODIE???
nagireoceo: NAGIREO IS REAL
wcterlilies: yeah he was wearing it in the pic Reo posted earlier too!
iheartreo: HE’S STILL WEARING REO’S HOODIE
seallyy: THEY SHARE CLOTHES!!
bluerainxx: why are you wearing Reo’s hoodie 😏😏
foundnlost: boyfriends core 🥰
nagireo4evxr: nth will convince me these two aren’t dating
Right, the picture..I didn’t see that yet.
“Yeah it is Reo’s hoodie. We were out and it started pouring,” Nagi explained, “I got drenched, Reo had a spare hoodie so he lent it to me, that’s all.”
nagireo4evxr: excuses excuses
whiterabbit33: does bro carry spare hoodies with him all the time or did he wanna give it to u 🤔
venusss18: ok but why are you still wearing it now at home? 🤔
naginoticeme: you’re inside now blud you can wear smth else ya know 😭
Why would I wear something else when this is comfortable..soft and warm, just like Reo.
“I don’t wanna change,” he elaborated, even though he felt like he didn’t really owe any explanations, “it’s comfy, smells like Reo too..so it’s like he’s with me.”
kokonupis: ???
hoveringhclo: what a crazy thing to say
nagireo4evxr: bro casually says “smells like Reo” and expects us not to assume they’re dating
akechis: just homies wanting to smell each other <3
purpleceo: I’M DECEASED HE’S SO IN LOVE
nagibunny: he says the most romantic shit with the most neutral face I’m crying
seally: face ain’t neutral though, look at the eyes they literally sparkle anytime Reo is talking or mentioned!!
Hm..do they? Perhaps Reo’s radiance seeped right into them..
Nagi read everything they were saying, not bothering to confirm nor deny. He can’t deny any of it because it was the absolute conviction of his world. Even if everything was consumed by the flames, only one thing would remain: ashes floating around, spelling “I love Reo.”
When the stream was over, he got ready for bed and slipped under the blankets, still wearing Reo’s hoodie. He scrolled on his phone, and of course, he saw many of the fans’ posts about the hoodie and his words today, which means Reo would see them too. I hope he won't be creeped out by my comment about wanting to smell him..but well, it’s the truth..
Then, Reo’s smile illuminated his screen. It was the picture they took earlier, captioned “coffee time with my treasure! <3”
Nagi didn’t even look at himself, gazing at Reo, fingers grazing the screen for a moment. “Reo..” His thumb lingered on Reo’s cheek, wishing it could somehow pass through. He liked the photo, leaving a comment that said “Reo’s smile is lovely” before putting his phone away.
He closed his eyes, curling in on himself and clinging to the hoodie. If only it was you that I’m holding in my arms…
He’d give anything to cuddle with Reo, to touch him, to bury his face in his neck and breathe him in, to fall asleep memorizing the rhythm of his heart every night.
But for now, this hoodie would do. For now, this warmth would suffice.
For now…
**
The next day, Nagi sat by his computer, eagerly counting the hours, the minutes and the seconds until his Stardew Valley stream with Reo. He never saw himself enjoying such games before, but with Reo, everything is enjoyable.
Once it was time, he started the stream logged into their save first, “I’ll get something nice for Reo,” he told the chat, “a diamond or something from the mines..or a rare fish, Reo still can’t fish, his nightmare.”
He spent some time fighting monsters in the mines, and reading the chat’s comments, which mostly consisted of “aww he’s always doing things for Reo” and more dating accusations. Though, they weren’t really “accusations” in Nagi’s dictionary. He was fluent in the language of loving Reo, and to him, they were dating…Reo just didn’t know about it..yet.
“Nagii, I’m here,” Reo’s voice burst into the chat, soothing his ears, “where ya at? I’m joining.”
“Come on in, I’m in the mines.”
“So hardworking aren’t ya, now are you like this in reality?” Reo joked, “can’t ever picture you mining.”
“Well, I can’t ever see you fishing..” Nagi replied.
“Low blow Nagi,” Reo huffed, “I can fish just fine, the rods in this game are rigged.”
“Hm..prove it on today’s stream then. Fish for everyone to see.”
“Hmph. I will.”
Nagi couldn’t see Reo, but there was a tint of a smile coloring Reo’s tone..Nagi could close his eyes and see it right in front of him, for Reo’s smile was embedded into his eyelids, flowing through his dreams.
“I’m in,” Reo announced, “oh, it’s late, Imma stay home and decorate. You mine.”
“Yes boss.” Nagi said, before focusing on what Reo actually said, “wait, no decorating, you always add weird ass stuff.”
“Weird ass? How dare you, they’re absolutely aesthetic!” Reo puffed proudly, “my taste is super elite.”
“Yeah, so is your spending. We need to buy seeds..not decorations.”
“We can buy anything we want! I’ll manage our finances just fine. That’s my specialty so don’t worry! Now hurry back home, I’ll keep the bed warm for ya.”
“Coming back to you..on my way.”
nagireoisreal: now why on earth do they share finances and a bed like a married couple??
noticemenagi: “THE BED” why don’t yall have two? 😭
nagireo4evxr: these streams are like watching a married couple fr, bickering, flirting
purpleceo: nagi mining to bring back diamonds for his beautiful wife <3
“We don’t need two beds cause Reo and I share everything, duh,” Nagi explained as he skimmed the chat, saying it like it was the most obvious thing. Why would he sleep in a separate bed from Reo? He will cuddle with him one way or another. Let me have this at least here man..
“Reo, I’m home,” he said, stepping into their shared cabin, “hm..nice..decorations,” he forced it out. He never understood Reo’s aesthetics, but if it made him happy, he would learn to love it too…just like he would when they decorate their future house together in reality.
“Did ya bring me anything?” Nagi could picture Reo grinning at him as he asked that.
“Yes,” he gave him some diamonds, “picked them all for you..”
“Aww, pretty! Thanks Nagi, I’ll treat you to a beach date-..uh, outing.” He fixed it, as if Nagi and the entire chat didn’t hear that. Nagi didn’t react or say anything, but when he saw the chat spamming “HIS EYES!” and “HIS EYES ARE LITERALLY SHINING” he knew he couldn’t hide the longing and joy that poured out of his heart and overwhelmed every inch of him. Beach date with Reo..in person..I hate the sun..swimming is a pain..but spending time with Reo there, that’d be nice.
He snapped out of his thoughts, reminding himself not to zone out on stream. “Oh we are about to pass out.”
“Come sleep,” Reo said, heading to the bed. Nagi followed him, and they got in together. Well, that’s the closest I’ll get to cuddling with you..
“Rise and grind!” Reo exclaimed as the next day arrived in the game, “today I’ll prove to the world that Reo Mikage can fish!”
“Hm, sure,” Nagi replied, heading outside to water the crops. Reo followed, standing next to Nagi and pouring the water on him instead. He giggled into his mic, “let’s water the Nagi tree!”
“Don’t soak me, I've suffered enough yesterday.”
“Maybe the chat wants to see…”
noticemenagi: we sure would like to see Nagi in a wet shirt
reosponytail: ???
purpleceo: I’d like to see Reo in one.
“No you don’t.” Nagi stated firmly, “no one’s gonna see that.”
“See what?” Reo asked.
“Nothing,” Nagi replied, checking his inventory for seeds to plant. He then accidentally clicked on the bomb, “Oh, no wait come back-”
Boom.
The crops were destroyed.
“Dude…” Reo held back his laugh.
“Let’s restart the day.”
“I may be bad at fishing..but at least I don’t set our farm on fire.”
“I was just giving you a visual representation of how my heart goes when I’m playing with you.”
“It destroys the crops..?” Reo asked cluelessly.
Nagi sighed, “it goes boom..you know..”
“Is that a good or bad thing..?”
“Ah, forget it..”
shadowheartz: reoooo he’s saying his heart goes BOOM for you!!😭😭
nagireo4evxr: F
prplrcses: how is he so romantic and so clueless at the same time
akechis: he loves you bro
“Anyway,” Nagi changed the topic, not wanting to make Reo feel awkward, “let’s go fishing at our usual spot.”
“You go ahead I’ll follow ya when I finish replanting what was lost..” Reo replied.
“I did suggest we restart the day…”
“No. We own up to our mistakes and work hard to fix them,” Reo said with an air of pride and conviction.
“Or we restart the day..that’s the beauty of video games..unlike reality, you can undo the damage done.”
Unlike reality..if I confess to you how I truly feel..and the result is not good for our friendship..it’s not possible to restart the day.
“Anyway,” Nagi steered away from that, not wanting to start dropping philosophies in the stream, “you go ahead instead, I’ll replant. Gives you some time to practice fishing before we go see your skills.”
“Hmph. I’ll show you all my strong skills.”
Once the seeds were planted, he watered them and headed out to follow Reo. Spotting him ahead, he walked closer, using the fishing rod to spring towards him instead of the water, “I caught a Reo.”
Reo laughed, “hey, I ain’t some Pokemon.”
“You’re a treasure.”
Reo’s soft laugh rang in his ears again, “Now I’m calling copyright, that’s my nickname for you!”
“You can get back your claim to it if you catch a fish today.”
Nagi stood next to Reo and started fishing as Reo complained into his mic “what is wrong with this game? It has to be rigged!” “Dammit, stop hiding from me!” “When I catch youuu…” and a string of oofs and ughs followed by a “what a pain.”
“Now you’re stealing my words..” Nagi teased back, “it’s alright Reo..I’ll fish for the both of us.”
“I caught something!” Reo exclaimed, before shouting, “are you kidding me!”
“Hm?” Nagi asked.
“It’s an algae,” he sighed, turning to Nagi and gifting it to him, “here, for you.”
“I’ll treasure it for life..” Nagi assured him, holding onto the algae like it was something precious.
Reo laughed, complaining one last time before accepting his fate, “relaxing game my ass..we grow and learn. It’s fine. I’ll master it like everything else.”
“Teach a man how to fish..” Nagi said, coaxing a snort out of Reo.
“Actually, give a man a better rod.”
After the fishing incident, they headed together into the mines. Nagi stayed in front of Reo, killing the monsters before they could get close to him. “You focus on getting the ore, I’ll kill the monsters and protect you.”
hearts4nagi: peak romance
reosunshine: aww protective boyfriend 🥰
nagireoceo: does he think the monsters would actually harm reo or
“You’d understand if you had a Reo,” Nagi talked back to the chat without elaborating. To have a Reo means to love him, to cherish him and to protect him…even if it was from pixel slimes.
After a while, it was the most dreaded time for Nagi, the end of the stream. He wished he could keep Reo around for longer. “Alright guys, we will see you next time.”
“Goodnight everyone,” Reo said, “and goodnight treasure!”
“Goodnight Reo, I love you.”
… Did I just say I love you??
His stomach twisted in something verging on fear, but not exactly landing on it. Why should he be afraid to say what he never hides? But what if Reo felt bad, weirded out, awkward?
Silence stretched, time stilled, unspoken words bubbled in the pit of his stomach, flowing up to the tip of his tongue before sliding back down. They had nowhere to go, hidden underneath the suffocating forces weighing down his love, the love he longs to unleash.
“Goodnight Nagi!” Reo repeated before exiting the stream quickly, no “I love you too”, but he did sound like his usual chirpy self..perhaps Nagi had nothing to worry about.
Then, he saw the messages flooding the screen:
crybabyhero: THE FIRST I LOVE YOU EVERYBODY SHUT UPPPP
iknowtheend: why didn’t Reo say it back???
nagireoceo: AHHHHH!!!
nagireo4evxr: WE FINALLY GOT THE CONFESSION
And an endless swarm of more and more messages kept bubbling.
Confession? That wasn’t my confession..it barely scratches the surface of it..I love Reo, but what I feel..cannot be degraded to words. Words failed me.
The next day, Nagi checked his phone first thing in the morning to see they were trending. Endless posts of “Nagireo canon?”, an article titled “From sharing clothes to “I love yous”: Are Nagireo Together?” and viral posts of his clip saying “I love you” shared by everyone. Some comments were screaming about it, multiple were making their scenarios about them, and others were talking about Reo and why he didn’t say it.
He doesn’t have to say it, Nagi chided no one in particular. He opened Reo’s chat and sent: Hey. I’m sorry if what people are saying is bothering you.
Reo: hm? What people?
Nagi: all the posts and discussions about us online. It just slipped out of me cause well, I do love you..like..you know..love can mean so many things, you know.
What am I even saying…
Reo: don’t worry about it Nagi, all good! Love ya too! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
Then why didn’t you say it? Ah..what a hassle..why did I deny what I meant?
I just don’t want Reo to feel bad..
Reo: oh btw, I’ll be away for two weeks, family trip..
Reo: So I won’t be able to stream with you 🙁
Nagi: that’s okay, have fun.
It wasn’t okay though. One day without Reo was gloomy, how would two whole weeks be? His presence spreads light like the sun that scatters the dreary cold..now it’ll be like an endless winter condensed into fourteen cruel days.
But he wasn’t going to tell Reo that, nor wonder if Reo was avoiding him because of what he said, even if a small part of him did wonder if he had messed it up.
For the next few days, they didn’t talk much. Nagi knew the sensible explanation was that Reo was extremely busy, but there was a relentless, nagging itch he couldn’t help but scratch until it spread, pervading every inch and crevice: what if he was avoiding me on purpose?
He tried to distract himself with streams, but everyone in the chat could tell something was off with him. “He definitely misses Reo,” they’d all say. He didn’t even need to say his name, they could all see Reo swimming in his eyes, floating in unsaid words, for love could never be concealed.
Yeah, I missed him like hell.
He desperately longed for him, even when he was near, even when they sat right next to each other, when his voice was all he could hear. He could not scoop up all his love and yearning and hide it in a secured box somewhere far away in his brain. Love was never meant to be secured, it demanded to be felt, to be seen and heard. Perhaps, he could rain on Reo one last time, to tell him that the “I love you” was not platonic, and then the cloud could either transform into the sun, or disappear in the sky to never be seen again.
He kept passing the time with whatever he could, but Reo’s absence lingered everywhere, even in his gacha games. Every single time he pulled for a character he wanted, Reo was there with him, either on stream, or in the game itself if multiplayer was an option. But now, he wasn’t there, and neither was his luck. It wasn’t just a superstition anymore, Reo had been his good luck charm. Ever since he drifted into his life, he never lost a single 50/50 because he was always by his side. Now, he lost, and the chat erupted, freaking out about it being his first loss in ages. They were all thinking the same thing he was, mentioning how Reo brought luck.
He ended the stream earlier than he planned, wanting to just sleep it away. Sleeping meant tomorrow coming faster, and tomorrow’s arrival meant a day closer to being with Reo again.
As if pulled by an invisible string of thoughts, his phone beeped. His heart leapt up when he saw Reo’s name on the screen.
Reo: tough stream tonight huh
Reo: sorry, couldn’t join but I was watching
Reo: bad luck for the first time in a long time huh
“It’s because you weren’t here,” Nagi sent, staring at the screen like it could make the reply come faster.
Reo: don’t grind, I’ll buy you some gems
Nagi: Really?
Reo: Of course, anything for my treasure! >ᴗ<
Reo: I miss you so much! I think of you all day
Reo: Can’t wait to be back home
Reo was thinking of me as much as I was thinking of him..Reo misses me too.
Relief flooded Nagi in waves, washing away any trace of doubt. His words ebbed and flowed, rippling until they reached the tip of his tongue, only to recede back to the sea of unspoken words. He just sent a simple “I miss you too.”
Maybe once you’re back, I’ll tell you how much I love you.
–
The two weeks crawled by ever so slowly, hefty steps weighing his heart down with every second he spent away from Nagi, but now, Reo was back home. The first thing he did was video call Nagi and arrange their upcoming streams schedule.
There were so many other things he wished to discuss rather than streaming though, something much more important, three words that hovered above him every single day on that trip. He had seen everything people said about Nagi’s “I love you,” in addition to every theory they made about him and his lack of words. “Does he not love Nagi too?”
Ha, you must be insane to think that. Open the door of my heart, step inside, and you’ll see nothing but a portrait of Nagi on the mantel, right above the unrelenting flames of longing.
The reason he said nothing was because it caught him off guard. He panicked and left the stream quickly, unable to muster the courage or command his senses to stop swaying all over the place. That night, he could not even force himself to sleep. “I love you” played in his head on a loop, a sweet melody he desired but did not sing.
Why didn’t I say it?? I love you too! I love you so much!
But..you said you meant it platonically, didn’t you..
He wanted to turn his face away from fear, to throw away every single key, let his words abandon their defenses, and soar.
But all he could do was open that same old group chat with himself, recording to the void.
“Hey Nagi, it’s me again..there’s something that’s been tugging at me for a while now..since our last stream together before my trip. When you said I love you, I panicked and left. I didn’t say it back..then you said that you meant it as in..different type of love or something, and well..that..kind of disappointed me because the truth is, I love you too Nagi, and not in a platonic I love ya man way, but in an I’m in love with you way..I..guess I’m just too afraid to say it to you directly, so I record it to myself..”
He sighed, sending the message to himself, or so he thought.
Oh no.
No. No. No.
Come back!
He had no idea how he missed Nagi’s contact name, treasure, at the top, and when he tried to delete it, it was too late. Nagi was online and listening to it.
Shit shit shit.
He tossed his phone away and shook his head back and forth, like that would turn back time. “It’s fine Reo,” he nodded, pacing back and forth, “it’s fine just..just..let’s stream. Yep. That’ll take my mind off..”
He didn’t even want to say it. If he verbalizes it, he would have to face it…But he was never one to run away from anything. He needed to face it.
He reached for his phone with a shaky hand, lifting it and slowly peeking at the screen.
No reply.
That only worsened his worries.
Did I scare him? Should I text him?
He buried his face in his hands, his mind a panicked clamor. Why wasn’t Nagi responding?
Endless swirls of doubts, fears and questions tangled up in his head, and he didn’t want to unweave them right now. Nagi probably just needed time to process things..
He refused to think of it any further, he should stream something to distract himself. He rarely ever did so alone that the viewers might think something is actually wrong with him. He couldn’t even think of what game to play. Gaming was never something he saw himself that interested in before meeting Nagi… it was Nagi who made everything fun.
He forced his thoughts to stop as he started streaming. “Helloo, short notice I know..”
reomybeloved: more like no notice
purpleceo: what a lovely surprise this evening
kokonupis: no nagi??
“Nah, just me..wanted to chat, and fish, so next time I can surprise Nagi with my skills.” He grinned, opening Stardew Valley. Things were fine, splendid even. They’d play together soon..maybe he’d take Nagi on a Stardew Valley date…or a real date.
He was thankful at how time was sliding by fast as he played and chatted with everyone. It was a good distraction, for a while at least, but his thoughts prevailed. Did Nagi text me? Should I take a break and check my phone? Should I-
The door to his room opened slightly, revealing the familiar mop of white hair first.
“Nagi??” He swung around in his chair, eyes widening, “how-”
“Baya let me in,” Nagi answered calmly as he approached him. “We..need to talk.”
nagireoceo: OH MY GOD??
nagireo4evxr: what in the bl plot?
myloveofsk8boarding: NO WAYYYY
reoglazer: GET YOUR POPCORN GUYS WE ARE ABOUT TO WITNESS PEAK
“Uh, yeah,” Reo nodded, forgetting that he was on camera, his eyes holding Nagi’s, “um..about what I sent-”
“Did you mean it?” Desperation tinged with hope colored Nagi’s voice. He stared at Reo, his gentle and inquisitive eyes searching for the answer they longed for, bright with something fragile that reached for Reo unguarded, unafraid to break.
“I meant every word,” Reo answered quickly, all restraints severed, all fears dissipated. “I love you, I-..the camera-”
The realization hit him, but before he could turn around and do something about it, Nagi’s lips were on his, hands cradling his face with a gentle, yet insistent touch, anchoring himself to Reo like the world would stop if he didn’t.
Reo gasped into the kiss before melting into him, a smile tugging at his lips. They didn’t kiss like it was their first, but like two soulmates who have kissed endlessly before, in every lifetime, and finally found the chance to kiss in this one.
“Wait, the camera!” Reo suddenly pulled away, cheeks searing.
“Huh,” Nagi asked, “what camera?”
“I was..on stream,” Reo looked away, rushing to his computer and turning everything off without explanation. The last thing he saw was everyone going insane:
nareville: AM I HALLUCINATING?
nagireoceo: NAGIREO IS REAL!!!
kokonupis: Right in front of us???
cryingin720p: ARE THEY FOR REAL??
nagireocanon: AAHHHH
nagireo4evxr: I’m deceased. I’m up. I’m deceased again.
purpleceo: I WAS BLESSED WITH EYES FOR THE MERE PURPOSE OF WITNESSING THIS
phxntomthief13: THEY’RE REAL, THEY’RE REAL, THIS IS NOT A DRILL
nagireo4evxr: we been known tho
rosiepetals: are they aware we are watching
nagiceooo: THE WAY HE GRABBED HIS FACEEEE
purpledreamsx: damn nagi how long have u been holding that in
silverspringsxx: we witnessed your first kiss you better take us on your first date too
“This is…” Reo eyed the floor, not wanting Nagi to see how red he was. “They saw that..I’m pretty sure it’s not appropriate rules-wise!”
“Well,” Nagi paused for a moment before a ghost of a smile glided across his face, “we gave them what they’ve been talking about for ages. I’d say this is a pretty successful stream.”
Before Reo could say anything, Nagi was kissing him again. This time, Reo tilted his head, deepening the kiss, light-headed and enveloped by the happiness he had been craving for so long. Nagi didn’t waste a single minute, licking Reo’s lips, and Reo obliged, parting them without hesitation. He ran his hand through Nagi’s hair as Nagi released his face to hold his waist and pull him impossibly close, drowning in him. He swallowed every little sound Reo made, not daring to stop kissing him. Reo didn’t want it to end either. It was I love you spelled with their tongues, unspoken overdue confessions, and unbridled passion that finally escaped their hearts, reaching its mark.
It was a promise.
Eventually, their lips parted, and Reo’s giggle slipped out before he could contain it…wait, there’s no reason to imprison anything anymore.
“Can’t believe we wasted all that time not doing that,” Reo grinned.
“Who was the voice message actually for? Like..I know it’s for me, but..you said you couldn’t send it to me..” Nagi’s voice suddenly got smaller as he waited for an answer.
“Oh I’ve..been keeping an audio diary you may say,” he explained, “I record things I want to say to you, like I’m speaking to you..but I send them to myself.”
“Reo’s mean,” Nagi pouted, “all this time..you could have been sending them to me..We could have kissed one hundred more times..”
“Excuse me?” Reo chuckled, nudging his arm, “don’t sulk now you big baby, you could have said something too! And..one hundred times?”
Nagi nodded, “more..I’ll have to kiss you all the time to make up for lost time.”
“Heh, gladly,” Reo smiled, reaching up to softly brush his fingers across Nagi’s cheek. Nagi closed his eyes, leaning into the warmth of the touch.
“Reo,” he mumbled softly, “I don’t think you’re actually mean.”
“Heh, I know Nagi,” he stared fondly at his boyfriend..he could say that now, “I wish I spoke sooner too.”
“I love you, a lot,” Nagi almost whispered, like it was something sacred between them, and them alone. Not even the air around them should hear it. “So much that it..kind of scared me,” Nagi continued, “not that loving you is scary. It is the easiest thing in the world..I just..didn’t want to push too hard or overwhelm you with the intensity of my feelings..cause Reo..my mind, heart and soul are yours..you’re all I think about..even when I sleep, I dream of you. My soul aches when you’re away, it’s bound to yours. You’re the epitome of all beautiful and bright things in this world and..I want to spend every single day showing you how loved you are.”
Reo’s smile trembled slightly as tears shimmered in his eyes, “wow..um..I’m not gonna cry.”
“I hate to see Reo cry,” Nagi said, reaching to wipe away a stray tear that slid down his cheek.
Reo laughed softly, “well um..it’s because I’m really happy so it’s fine..Nagi, I feel the same about you.” He continued to stroke his face as he spoke, “I started playing games because it was fun being with you. Life was so dull before meeting you. You became my partner and my favorite person in the world, coloring my blank pages..I spent all my time searching for something that’ll excite my heart..it’s you Nagi..we’re gonna do amazing things together, and I’ll take you on so many dates and..I promise you endless kisses for all the times we didn’t.”
They held each other, knowing everything had changed now, but at the same time, nothing had at all, it was the same love, only fully unconcealed.
Streams would definitely be interesting, and tomorrow’s feeds would overflow with discussions about their relationship. But for now, they were alone, wrapped in the quiet embrace and warmth of each other, savoring the moment and diving into this new chapter with another kiss.