Chapter Text
"Kacchan, Kacchan! Here!"
Katsuki looks up from his cell phone, seconds away from sending Izuku a message to see him jumping excitedly on the booth at the very end of the coffee shop they chose to meet at. He is smiling that megawatt smile that makes Katsuki's insides twist and turn and looks the dorkiest of men alive in brown tacky overalls and a hat.
It is ridiculous how much Katsuki wants to run and hide and gush about the freaking shit show happening in his heart because Izuku is just /that/ adorable! And at the same time, he wants to run /into/ him and bask in his attention, given so freely and openly.
Katsuki has it bad and it has taken him only one single text from Izuku to realise meeting him again not only meant reconnecting with a stranded childhood friend but also, reigniting the old flames of his long-buried crush and source of all his teenage insecurities.
Which, unfortunately, was also the reason they fell apart in the first place.
On the very same day of Izuku’s exhibit, Katsuki had sent him what he thought was an inconspicuous message, just so Izuku had his number saved.
Izuku though, answered him almost immediately, teasing him for not even giving it a night. Truthfully, Katsuki could barely wait to leave the bar he and his friend dined at; it was the sheer embarrassment of acting so desperate that had him waiting to get home to send the message he had written a thousand times to get it perfect.
In the following days, they texted back and forth, poking fun at one another and making small talk about their work and lives until Izuku suggested grabbing a coffee.
There were clips of Katsuki hitting a lamppost with his phone in hand from that day. Kaminari shared it on his socials. And as embarrassing as it was, Katsuki hadn’t felt happiness like that from a single text in far too long.
He only ever wanted to be able to apologise, to see Izuku one more time and try and redeem himself. Seeing him smile at him and beckon him further into the coffee shop for what could be nothing else but a date, is past Katsuki’s wildest dreams.
He makes his way to the seat in front of Izuku, and a black, simmering mug of delicious-smelling coffee is pushed in his direction as soon as he sits.
“I hope it is still how you like your coffee.”
It takes him one gulp and a deep breath to be able to speak, his mind still a whirlwind and heartbeat a mile per hour.
He expected this to be more… awkward, for them to feel the distance all the years put between them, but surprisingly, if one were to ignore how anxious he is, it feels, normal.
As if this is where Katsuki was supposed to be all this time.
“I don't remember us ever getting coffee together before.”
Izuku clearly grimaces and shifts under his stare, a blush taking place under his /adorable/ freckles. Geez, he has it /so/ bad.
“But I do recall one noisy interviewer getting that information out of me, just last year if I’m not mistaken.”
He lowers his mug with his signature shit-eating grin and preens at Izuku’s obvious annoyance and eye roll.
“Well, I can’t see why /how/ I got this information is important to the conversation, but if it makes you happy, as if you still had any doubt, yes, Kacchan, I do watch your interviews. All of them.”
It does make him happy, very, ridiculously happy. And it makes something flutter in his chest, and as much as he wants to hate it or pretend it is not there, the ghost of so many years without Izuku doesn’t let him.
He is happy to be there, to be able to have coffee with Izuku, to see him laugh and smile at him as if he wasn’t the main reason… hell, the sole reason most probably they fell apart in the first place.
He feels happy, he feels lucky and for once, he isn’t afraid of showing it. He allows himself to get comfortable in his seat and his feet meet Izuku’s under the table.
“Indeed, it does.”
A soft blush takes place on Izuku’s cheeks, highlighting his freckles in the process. It’s a sight he hopes to see more of. He hopes even harder to be the one to cause it.
It’s strange how he feels so calm while accepting all the repressed feelings he had long buried 6ft down.
“So, how have you been, nerd?”
Izuku smiles, drinking from his overly sugary drink before humming.
“Good Kacchan, you should know it. You gave me enough liberty, and I've been talking non-stop for the past few days about anything and everything. I hope you don't mind.”
Katsuki only shakes his head. How could he mind? Izuku has been the breath of the freshest air he ever had in his life for the past few days.
His messages alone lift his mood after shit patrols and report-filled days.
“Nah, you can blabber all you want. I can't always answer, though, you know that as well.”
“Hm, just making sure! It's been so fun, but kind of weird, to catch up after so long, hasn't it? I have so much I wanna ask you about but also, your life has been so public, I'm not sure how much you’d like to share...”
Katsuki feels a shift in Izuku's mood. Not just by his trailing words at the end, but he sees his fingers twisting the hems of his oversized sleeves. It doesn't sit well with him.
The Izuku in front of him is miles away from the one that stalked him at the exhibit; it is almost a whiplash. It reminds him of the insecure little boy who made his heart skip a beat in middle school.
He will not be the reason Izuku closes off again, not when he is so undeniably happy to finally be able to hear him.
"I'm willing to share as much as you're interested, nerd, don't think I don't want to know all you've been up to. Shitty hair knew about you, and I had never even noticed someone taking pictures of us before... there's a lot I want to ask too."
To Katsuki it's nothing but the truth and nothing more than just some words, but thankfully, it seems to do the trick; Izuku’s shoulders visibly relax, and he gives Katsuki a small smile.
“So, let me tell you all since high school then?”
Conversation flows easily, one coffee turns into two and then they ask for some lunch. Katsuki keeps hoping his pager doesn’t go off, even if he is supposed to be on call. Izuku’s life sounds so amazing; he has always been destined for greatness and Katsuki regrets ever doubting it.
In reality, it was possibly not doubt but fear. Fear Izuku would go too far out of his reach and he wouldn’t be able to be by his side.
To protect him.
As if he needed it.
Katsuki truly can’t remember the last time he enjoyed himself so fully; he can’t even bother to mind the pictures he knows are being taken.
He doesn’t want people to figure out Deku is the Green hero, but he very much enjoys the idea of people seeing him with Deku.
With time, they get more comfortable with each other, feet sliding even more against one another, fingers brushing on the table on a drink or two.
It takes them time but after lunch, Katsuki can't hold himself any longer and holds Izuku’s hand by the table. It is sudden and maybe a bit unexpected, not unwelcomed though.
Izuku smiles, intertwining their fingers together, both palms a bit sweaty but none too bothered to care.
When it is getting late enough, the servers are giving them side-eyes, Katsuki makes sure to pay their bill and offers Izuku his hand to leave.
“What are you up to right now?”
Izuku is silent for a moment, hand scratching at his neck.
“I actually have to finish packing?”
He sounds unsure, as if he doesn't want to say it. His eyes don't leave Katsuki's, though.
“Are you moving?”
“No, nothing of the sort! I have a... I shouldn't say anything but...”
Oh.
“You don't have to tell me, freckles, that's fine.”
Izuku shakes his head, a determined look in his eyes and a sweet blush on his cheeks. He holds one of Katsuki’s hands with both of his.
“No, it should be fine if it's you. I have a mission, actually, an underground one. I'm travelling first thing in the morning with Hitoshi.”
“Mindjack?”
“Hm, the one and only! We work a lot together, though I still believe he doesn't know who I am.”
“Know the guy. He shouldn't be working before sleeping for at least a month.”
Izuku laughs at him, pulling him down the street to what Katsuki believes is probably the path to his home. Luckily, he is right.
“Contrary to popular belief, he does sleep a lot, to be honest. I think the dark circles are his charm though, that's why he keeps them.”
He rolls his eyes. Charm his ass.
“What's this mission about?”
“A drug ring bust, I will be infiltrating this group that Hitoshi’s agency has been after for a few months now. It should be a week or two maximum. We need more evidence and physical proof before the takedown.”
He doesn't comment more than that and Katsuki understands his reasons even though he wants to know everything. His heart is almost leaping out of his mouth just thinking of Izuku entering alone a drug house.
He hates this type of mission with a passion, and just imagining Izuku working alone to gather intel is making him sweat close to dangerous levels.
Katsuki makes a mental note to track down the sleepless hero later to make sure he will be working with literal sunshine on Earth and that he will be on his watch if anything is to happen.
At least he will have a point of contact. Maybe.
Izuku talks about anything and everything at once until they reach a nice-looking building, flowers and vines surrounding its brick exterior.
"Well, here I stay."
"It is quite beautiful here. Looks like a place you'd live."
Izuku splutters, blushing all the way down to his neckline, waving his hands in front of him.
"Wha-what do you mean?"
"Hm? Just that it matches your green hair freckles, what did you think I meant?"
He is met with the cutest pout he has ever seen, and it takes a gigantic effort not to bite it off.
"Mean?"
"Just messing with you, and you know it."
Izuku smiles, and as much as Katsuki wants to stall, he knows this is goodbye. For now, at least.
Hopefully.
"Take care of yourself yeah? And... and if you can, send me some news?"
"I will, I promise. I'm not sure about sending messages, but... I will try to let you know, somehow. Ok?"
Katsuki nods as they turn to the gate. Izuku also seems conflicted with their parting, and the air around them becomes charged with... something. Their hands are still connected, and Katsuki wonders how much longer he can hold on without blowing them up.
"So... hm, thank you for today, Kacchan and... I hope to see you soon? Maybe some other coffee sometime?"
He says it with hope laced in his voice and a wobbly smile, it is as enticing as it is heartbreaking because Katsuki wants to dive in and hold him close, never letting go at the same time he /needs/ to let go.
So he does the next best thing.
He kisses him. Pulls him close by their joined hands and wastes not a second to hold freckled cheeks with careful fingers, holding his breath and hoping for the best.
Izuku's lips are soft under his, and a soft, sweet gasp escapes him before he, too holds on to Katsuki. Small, strong hands grab at his waist, pulling them impossibly closer.
It seems like a lifetime later when Katsuki separates them, regretfully, in dire need of air, resting their foreheads together.
"It doesn't seem fair that I just found you and now I don't get to see you."
Izuku is the one to voice his thoughts first, but they are one and the same.
"Just... just two weeks yeah? Take care of yourself, Nerd, please. I will see you soon and take you out on a real date. How does that sound?"
"It sounds wonderful Kacchan. I will see you soon."
---
Soon isn’t two weeks. Soon hasn't been an update for over twenty days now. Soon is not being able to gather any single information out of anyone due to stupid "clearance" and "confidentiality".
Fuck that and fuck this, mostly fuck everyone. Katsuki is on his wits' end and about to blow up something, someone, anything.
Izuku had been true to his word; he couldn't send Katsuki messages because his personal cellphone got held up on the way to the mission. But he was versed in Morse code and managed to send a short message upon arrival.
/Hi, I'm safe/
That was all Katsuki needed - at the time.
Three days later, his antics were making everyone else’s problem. Three days more and his boss was strongly considering putting him on leave to avoid dealing with him.
Izuku managed another message only a week in, just a single "safe".
It wasn't nearly enough, but it was better than nothing. Katsuki desperately tried to hold on to the notion that Izuku was still alive and well and hopefully out of harm's way. It was maddening, He felt like slowly losing his sanity through nights he barely slept, and food so bland he mostly tossed it around.
Even his idiot squad had stopped pestering him for the time being. In the end, this proved to be even worse, because he had one less thing to worry about and more time to create all the worst possible scenarios for Izuku's demise.
With the two-week mark passed, Katsuki stopped being worried and became petrified. Not a single word was heard from the operation anywhere, not even his higher-ups had any information, and he was blocked from investigating further.
He was put on indefinite leave and sent home to calm down and stop causing trouble to everyone else. Katsuki hated to admit but he knew he was being careless on the scene, mind completely elsewhere.
As if waiting for Izuku to come back at any moment, Katsuki took his time to clean his house spotlessly, cook for a whole battalion of people and try and fail to occupy his mind with anything available at his home.
On his second, and last, video-game controller broken, he admits defeat and calls his merry bunch of idiots. If they could keep him occupied for a few hours longer, he knew Izuku would be coming home.
Not his home… not yet. But still.
Kirishima doesn't take long to appear with all the others in tow. Mina brings all her skincare products, while Denki brings his own controllers and new games. Sero shows up with unhealthy snacks that in any other opportunity would never enter his home, and Kirishima just comes with his whole sunshine personality which is a whole thing on its own.
"So… are we talking about the elephant in the room or, just face masks today?"
Katsuki wants to say no. Wants to just grumble and fill his body with greasy food and kick all their asses in whatever game they put on. But maybe, just maybe, if he talks about Deku, it's easier for time to pass by. Maybe if he says his name enough, he will come back sooner.
"Deku is… out of contact. He said he would be off for two weeks… It's been almost four weeks now and I have zero news. I know it is not his fucking fault and, fuck, I'm worried sick."
Mina looks at him funny. Shit, this looks like he is being ghosted, doesn't it?
"He is not ghosting me, he is… let's just say he is working. You guys know what he does. And he is under the radar."
"Yeah, ok, let's just say we believe you. Why are you so cranky, though?"
In place of not blowing up his apartment, Katsuki only side-eyes Denki, who is currently trying to fix his controllers so all of them can compete on Mario Kart.
"Our blasty boy is missing his bae, that's why!"
"I'm not… fuck you! I am missing him, for fucks sake, just don't say it like that!"
Mina falls into a fit of giggles as they all make fun of him. It is light and although not a distraction as he intended, he welcomes their silliness and chaos.
They spend the night at his home, all spread out on his couch and spare room. It is way past his bedtime when he finally falls into his bed, away from the mess he is sure to still find the next morning. At least he can justify pancakes for breakfast with all of them there.
It seems like he just hit his head on his pillow as he is awakened by a commotion in his house.
"Kats man!"
His door is suddenly slammed open and Kirishima enters frantically followed by none other than Shinsou himself.
"The fuck is happening?"
He glances at his bedside clock to see is a little past three in the morning, and his mind takes a second to get his gears going. Shinsou is still in his hero attire saying something he can't comprehend.
Till he can.
"YOU! What are you doing here? Where's Deku?"
"Finally you caught up. Get dressed, I came to fetch you. Green wants to see you."
He is out of his bed and in civilian clothes before anyone can tell him twice, his friends on his tail, back and forth, grabbing all their stuff to tag along.
"If you guys can go any slower, not like I still have to fill in this mission report or anything…"
"Shut up! I'm ready. Where are we going? Is he at the agency? The station?"
"The hospital."
—
Katsuki doesn't remember anything after that sentence. He is now standing in the lobby of a hospital, which he doesn't quite know; he also doesn't know how long they took to get here, who drove them in which car.
He only knows Izuku is here, somewhere, hurt and he didn't know anything about it until now. He was useless while he was in the field putting himself into danger.
Get it together Katsuki!
Mina is suddenly by his side, holding his hand, while Kirishima puts his hand on his shoulder and squeezes. All his idiots are here with him, waiting for the ok to visit Izuku wherever he is. Shinsou is nowhere to be found, which is understandable - he did what he had to do.
He is suddenly overwhelmed - he is worried sick but also grateful, for his friends and to have Izuku back. What a sap.
"Mr Bakugou? Here's your access card, on the third floor in room 307. You're way off visiting hours, so you should know that." The receptionist looks at him pointedly. "Please keep your privilege in mind; we have a full house tonight."
"Of course, ma'am."
He nods at his friends and follows the path to the internal elevators, his heart lodged in his throat and his mind a mile per second.
In front of room 307, Katsuki isn't sure of anything anymore. If he barely knows how he got to the hospital, now it's clear he has no clue what he will find inside this door, what his reaction will be, what he even wants to say or hear.
Taking a deep breath, he opens the door slowly, hoping that if Izuku is asleep, he won't wake him.
"What took you so long, Kacchan?"
Well fuck.
Izuku is half-sitting on the bed, his head resting on a fluffy pillow behind all the bandages covering his hair and left eye. His hands, one in a cast, rest on top of a comforter.
He looks peaceful, surrounded by small beeps and sounds and just the moonlight illuminating the room. If it weren't for the smell of disinfectant and all the tubes and wires connected to his body, Katsuki would be at peace.
"Nerd…"
"Oh no, don't even start - you can't even begin to imagine the lecture I've heard from Hitoshi already, and tomorrow Mom will be here also, so no, not you too."
Katsuki sighs, closing the door behind him softly with unsteady hands.
"Do I even get to say anything at all?"
Izuku smiles, and even without being able to move his hands, Katsuki knows he is beckoning him closer.
"I mean, you could say how much you missed me?"
"You're such a little shit, I swear."
"You could also tell me all about being put on house arrest?"
Katsuki stops midmovement, halfway into the room, foot still in the air. How the fuck did he already know?
"It wasn't house arrest, for fucks sake…"
He finishes his path beside the bed, hands still somewhat unsteady but itching to touch Izuku in any way possible. All his uneasiness from before faded with each step given.
"And don't try to play me, mister, I know what you're trying to do!"
Izuku has the nerve to smile sheepishly at him, shrugging slightly, to the best of his abilities, given how banged up he was.
"I was… worried sick. Not gonna lie, tried my best to get just about any information I could, but I might have crossed some lines."
With his good-ish hand, Izuku pulls Katsuki forward until he is right about on top of his bed. He holds all his weight so as not to hurt him any further.
"It's ok, you won't crush me, I just really want… No. I really need to feel you right now."
And it is not like Katsuki can deny himself any longer anyway. He holds Izuku with utmost care, almost reverently, wanting at the same time to squeeze him to death and protect him from everything in the world.
Izuku seems to feel the same, sighing contentedly in his arms, trying his best to wrap Katsuki with his bandaged arms.
“I was… so scared. Scared and helpless. A rookie got involved with the group unknowingly, and I just couldn't stand staying still and let her alone, but when I finally got inside their hideout and lost contact with Hitoshi, I realised how useless I was.”
Katsuki freed some space between them to dry Izuku's tears, knowing it was probably the first time he allowed himself to feel everything.
“They started getting suspicious, I guess… but not enough to lock me up or question me still. Every day was a mix of relief at waking up safe and anxiety of what would happen if their suspicions got worse.”
Izuku takes a deep breath, trying and failing miserably at keeping his sobs at bay.
“I felt… I felt like a Deku, Kacchan. I felt… I just wanted to help that rookie; she was so young and was also so scared. But there was so little I could do and I just…”
Katsuki holds him closer once again, wanting to take all the pain away somehow. Wanting to make him better with all his might and at the same time, feeling as little as Izuku had.
“I just wanted you to be there, Kacchan… I wanted to be like you even for just one night. Powerful, fearless… a hero, to save my friends.”
That's where Katsuki decides he needs to draw a line.
“Stop this nonsense, nerd. You were a hero! You ARE a hero! I wouldn't ever infiltrate a drug ring because a rookie made a mistake, what the fuck?”
“We all know you would.”
“No, I would most probably just blow everything up - the hideout and the mission, stop lying to yourself.”
He holds Izuku's face firmly, with utmost care, but giving him no chance of looking anywhere but at him. His eyes burn with unshed tears, of happiness of being with his nerd, of fear, of exhaustion, but mostly, from feeling everything Izuku has been pouring.
“You might not have a quirk, and geez, Izuku, we've been over this, but I will remind you every single day for the rest of our lives if needed. You are much more of a hero than I will ever be. I'm reckless, not fearless. I have a strong quirk that gives me an advantage, but I do not think of consequences.”
“Kacchan…”
“Izuku, your heart is what makes you amazing. I know that rookie, wherever and whoever she is, will forever remember you as her hero. So stop fucking crying and please, let's get some sleep, yeah?”
Izuku manages to give a small, tired smile. He pulls softly on Katsuki's shirt, as if beckoning him to lie down with him.
“No way, I'm not squeezing on this shitty bed, I'm sleeping right there on the couch - I will be here in the morning. Don't you think I will let it slide the fact that you haven't told me how you got this hurt.”
The smile on his face falls instantly.
“There's not much secret, Kacchan, they were about to torture the rookie, trying to get information she didn't have… And I couldn't stand by and watch. The rest you can imagine. Lucky me, Hitoshi arrived at the right time.”
“It seems to me he arrived way too fucking late, but let's go with that.”
With much difficulty, Katsuki frees himself from Izuku and manages to pull the small window sofa closer to his bed. He gets as comfortable as possible, knowing it will be a bad night for his back… but just by being close to his nerd, and having him as safe as possible within arms reach, he can finally feel a good night's sleep coming.
“Wake me up whenever, ok? I'm not going anywhere.”
“Thank you, Kacchan… for everything.”