Chapter Text
Wake up.
It wasn’t loud. Not shouting. Just close – too close – like someone standing right beside him, speaking directly into his ear. Mike frowned, trying to turn his head away from it. The movement felt heavy, like his body was sunk deep underwater. The words echoed again, overlapping each other.
Suddenly he wasn’t in the room with his son anymore, he was in that night again. In the car driving home from the party. The car lights blurred. Red turning to white, white stretching into long glowing lines. The road outside the window smeared into nothing. For a second he thought Lucas had sped up – that they were driving too fast – but the dashboard was gone.
The seats were gone.
The music was gone.
Mike blinked hard.
Darkness pressed in around him, thick and unfamiliar. He pushed himself upright too quickly, lungs dragging in air that felt colder than it should have been. His heart started pounding before he understood why.
“Lucas?” he said hoarsely.
No answer.
“Mike, if you can hear me, you need to follow my voice.” A familiar voice spoke.
Mike did so. He started walking unsure and confused as hell. Just darkness around him. Nothing else. It felt like he was in a very weird dream, but it also felt so real at the same time. Step after step and a dim light suddenly appeared in front of him. He saw himself. Laying on a bed. Not moving. But how? Everything felt so real. He lived a life. He broke Will’s heart and his own, he graduated, got married, and made a family. Every single day he would curse himself for how his life ended. How every day felt like a never ending cycle, how he became like his father. Every tear, every loss, everything was not real.
“Micheal. You can’t be here” a deep voice spoke from behind. It was Vecna.
Mike didn’t turn back, he started running like he knew what he needed to do. He ran toward the light as fast as he could. And then –.
The darkness shattered.
“Mike! Mike, can you hear me?”
Air slammed back into his lungs. Sound rushed in all at once – shouting, footsteps, someone crying. Nancy’s face hovered above him, terrified.
“Jesus, Mike,” she breathed, pulling him into a tight hug. “We thought we lost you.” Mike clutched her sleeve, shaking. For a long moment, he couldn’t tell which world was real.
slowly , almost afraid to move too fast and break whatever fragile reality this was, Mike turned his head searching for Will. and there he was, standing across the room. No bruised knuckles. No shattered expression. No door slamming shut forever. Just Will – pale, worried, eyes wide, hands hovering like he didn;t know if he was allowed to come closer. Mike’s chest tightened so violently it almost knocked the air out of him again. For a second he couldn’t separate memories from reality. He still felt the ghost of glitter on his skin. The sound of the punch. The words he wished he could take back.
I lived thirty-two years without you.
Mike pushed himself upright too fast. Hand tried to steady him. “Easy” Eleven said softly beside him, her voice trembling. “You were gone.”
Mike looked at her. “How long?”
El swallowed. “Almost two weeks.”
“How- i. I don’t understand.” Panic stirred in Mike again.
“Mike. He had got you. You were trapped under Vecna’s curse. We tried so many things to get you back, we almost lost hope.” El explained, her face a little worried.
Mike’s vision blurred again, and he realized – distantly – that he was crying. El put a hand on his shoulder. “What happened?”
How could he explain it?
That he’d watched their entire lives fall apart.
That he’d grown old missing Will.
That he’d believed he destroyed everything.
Mike shook his head quickly, like he could throw the memories off. “I thought–” his voice cracked. “I thought I lost all of you” his breathing quickened.
“You’re safe now.” Nancy tried to calm him down. “Maybe tell us what you saw?”
Mike swallowed, taking a glance at Will. “I. I need some time to think.”
After everyone left the room, Mike was left just by himself, with his thoughts. He doesn’t know how to even start explaining. Maybe he should just not say anything. He spent all his life believing he messed things up. He was too afraid to show his feelings. Too afraid of what the society would think about him. After all, he wasn't like all the people. If he doesn’t say anything, his life will seriously end up that way he saw it would. He has to speak. He must.
Mike stood up and invited everyone back to the room. “I’m ready” he let out a long breath.
Everyone sat, all eyes looking at him. Is this how Will felt when he came out? Mike was afraid to speak. He didn’t know how to begin. Maybe he should start with El.
“Um so, you guys can’t judge me, you have to understand that I lived a lot through and now realising that everything was all just a dream is hard.” Mike started.
“No one is going to judge you, MIke” Lucas said with a knowing look.
“I- well.” Mike held his breath. “Everything started when we defeated Vecna. Everything was fine and all, we decided to destroy it upside down with a bomb, there was a lot of other shit we did I can’t exactly remember now. We saved the kids and came back, but the military got us. They wanted El. And El stayed upside down and disappeared along with everything else. She sacrificed herself.” He looked at El with teary eyes. “I lived with so much grief. Everyone moved on and I didn’t, I felt so guilty. One night I almost ended my life because of that. I couldn’t live in the world without you El.” El looked at Mike with sadness in her face and slumped shoulders.
“Life moved and so did everybody else. We, well actually you guys left for college. We used to meet up every summer for a few weeks.” Mike smiled to himself. “But after one party that Steve's friends were throwing, I ruined everything.” Mike looked at Will. “I did some things, I said some things I wish I didn't. Horrible. I broke their heart, because I was too afraid of who I really was. After that day Will and I didn't speak for thirty two years, and the rest of us drifted apart.” Mike swallowed. “At that party, the first time I met this girl Rachel, at first I hated her guts, but life went on and we got married and had two kids, Miles and Laura.” Lucas let out a laugh.
“Dude” Max squinted her eyes at him.
Lucas looked down “Sorry.”
Mike shaked his head and continued. “One day my son wanted to talk with me. He- well. He came out.” Mike looked at Will to see his reaction. Will was concentrated. “I started telling him my life stories and then here I am. I lived a life. A long and miserable life I was always afraid to have, I had become a person I was most scared of to be.”
Will spoke. “He was showing you how your life would be like if you hid your feelings, Mike. He did the same with me.”
Lucas shaked his head. “Man, I can’t believe you’re married now,” Lucas teased.
“Shut up, I said no judging” Mike nudged him.
Joyce sat next to Mike. “How are you feeling? It must be really hard to you”
“It will be okay, now that I’m here with all of you it’s better” Mike gave her a soft smile.
The room emptied slowly, one voice at a time fading into the hallway. A hand squeezed Mike’s shoulder – he didn’t even notice whose – and then the door closed with a soft click. He let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. Images kept flashing behind his eyes – a kitchen that didn’t exist, children laughing, a life that felt worn and heavy with years. Memories that weren’t memories. He won’t let it happen. He will try his best to not have the life he saw.
For the rest of the evening he stayed close to Nancy cause she didn’t load him with questions like others. And he tried to avoid Will. Will tried speaking with him a few times, but Mike made up some stupid excuse not to. He is not ready to face that yet. All he needs is some time, even though he already had enough of it. He still has a lot of things to do and to fix in this life. He should start with himself.
♠
1991 summer
“No, no, no! That’s not fair!” Mike yelled out. “I invited you to help me, not to mess things up!”
“Don’t be a cry baby Wheeler” Max teased him. “Me and Jane know what we’re doing. Right Jane?” Max looked at her for approval.
“I’m good at this. And you should stop protesting” El pointed at Mike with eyeliner pencil. “It looks good. I promise”
“Friends don’t lie,” Mike said, closing his eyes and letting El finish her work.
“Don't blink” El muttered. Steadying Mike’s face while the black line darkened his eyes. Max sat on the floor next to El, legs crossed reading some kind of magazine from time to time commenting about what was written there. “That should be good,” El said proudly. She turned Mike’s face like she was presenting a masterpiece. “What do you think Max?”
Max scooted closer. “Holy shit, now you definitely look like you’re for the guys.”
“What is wrong with you?!” Mike pushed her to the side. “Give me that damn mirror. Be useful for something at least.”
Max mimicked Mike and threw him the mirror. “Never ask for our help again.”
“Thank you.” Mike smiled to annoy her even more. “Woah,” he looked at the reflection. “Okay El, this looks great.” He blinked, moving the mirror closer to investigate her work closer. “You will have to teach me”
“Maybe I will.” she said her mouth full of chips. “Okay enough sitting, we should be getting ready, others are already waiting for us.”
Now you may think what the hell happened? Well… No one died. No one said anything. Happily they defeated Vecna and closed the gates destroying everything as long as the military. Sadly El lost her powers, but maybe it was for the best. Now she can live a normal life she always wished for. They graduated high school and started studying in college. Mike didn’t become a writer, but he's studying literature at college. El and Mike broke up. Well. It was for the best. She dumped him after saving the world. They decided that they are better off as friends. She wanted to live an independent life and to learn what she really likes. She wanted a fresh new start, so I guess Mike had to go to the friend zone.
Mike focused on himself, trying to grow as a person even though it was really hard. He realised that he wasn’t fully straight. He came out to his friends as a bisexual. Everyone was very supportive. He didn’t really have any time for dating, so he was single. Well there were a few parties where he had hooked up with one another, but we don’t talk about it. The party stayed close, even though some of them studied in different cities, but they kept in touch. Of course they decided to meet up every summer and have some fun. What about Will? They stayed as friends, Will helped a lot with the whole coming out thing. Will was the first person Mike came out to. Mike tried to play it cool, whenever Will’s gaze lingered too long. It meant nothing. That’s what he told himself. He never mentioned it. He knew it was too late, that all the things he was feeling were only one sided. Will moved on, maybe Mike wasn’t too honest, he should've spoken sooner, like in California, but he was still so clueless, he wouldn’t ever admit these things back then. Mike figured the things about painting. El told him that she never commissioned it, that it was all coming from Will. Mike was mad at the time that Will let him believe that El needed him, but now when he thinks about it, it made more sense that it was coming from him and not from El.
There’s a small party happening tonight and they are all getting ready to go there. Will, Lucas and Dustin are already there. Max, El and Mike will take his car and drive there. El did eyeliner for him. He thought he could experiment a little. He stood in front of the mirror longer than necessary, pretending he was just fixing his hair when really he had no idea what he was supposed to do next. The black shirt took him three tries to put on properly. First it twisted at the back, then he buttoned it wrong and had to start over, fingers suddenly clumsy. Jeans. Easy. Safe. He exhaled a little relief while putting them on. His Converse waited by the door, familiar enough to ground him, and he showed his feet quickly, like finishing that part fast would make the rest easier.
He looked up at the mirror again and he immediately wished he hadn’t. Too plain. The perfume bottle sat on the dresser. He picked it up. One quick spray – then he coughed slightly when the scent hit too strong. “Okay,” he muttered to himself, waving the air like that would fix it. His fingers hovered at the buttons of his shirt. He undid one. Stared. Did another – then immediately panicked and reddit it. Then undid it again. He decided to put some glitter on. He tapped a little onto his finger, froze halfway to his face, then awkwardly dabbed it onto his cheek. Too much. He tried brushing some away and only smeared it farther. Now it was uneven. He looked nervous. Obvious. Like someone pretending to be confident and failing at it.
“..What is wrong with me? It’s just a stupid party” he whispered.
He grabbed his jacket before he could change his mind again, and headed out of his room.
“You guys are ready?” Mike asked.
“Oh me, oh my Wheeler.” Max looked him up and down. “Trying to impress someone tonight I see?”
Mike shot her a mad glare. “No. I feel stupid already. Shut up please”
“Ready!” El shouted leaving the bathroom.
Mike drove them to the party. The rest were already there. When they arrived Dustin and Lucas came to meet them. Max immediately jumped into Lucas arms, she didn’t see him for half a day, can we blame her? Dustin hugged El and Mike around their shoulders.
“You look nice tonight,” Dustin said to Mike.
“Where’s Will?”
“I said you look nice tonight,” Dustin teased.
“Oh, yeah, thanks. Just trying out something new.” His eyes drifted to the door.
“Everyone’s ready? Let’s go.” Lucas encouraged.
The house was packed with people, even though it was supposed to be a small party. Nothing new. A boring party where everyone is either drinking or making out in the corner of the room. Max and Lucas disappeared somewhere in the house. Dustin took El to try out some drinks. And once again Mike was left standing alone. Third time this summer. Rude. He went to the counter and poured himself some punch. Emptied one glass and poured another one.
He dropped onto one of the stools by the counter, elbows resting against the sticky surface. He looked at the dancing crowd. Still no sign of Will. Or maybe he’s blind like always. Mike sighed to himself and decided to go dancing. Somewhere in the crowd he saw Max earlier, plus it should be fun to loosen up a little. Mike pushed himself off the stool and let the music pull him toward the dance floor. He pushed through the crowd, shoulders brushing strangers, colored lights sliding across his face. At first he moved awkwardly, unsure where to put his hands. But the longer he stayed, the less he thought about it. Mike danced with his eyes closed, his body moving to the rhythm of the song. It felt good to finally feel free, until he accidentally bumped into someone spilling their drink. Wouldn’t be Mike.
“Hey! Look where you’re going”
“It’s not my fault that you’re drinking at the danc–” Mike’s words cut of when he looked up to see who it was. Will.
“Mike.” Will looked like he had seen a ghost.
“I’ve been looking for you all the evening, thought you wouldn’t come”
“I did, with Lucas” Will narrowed his eyes.
“How come you didn’t come to see us?” Mike asked.
“I was dancing… Lost the track of time.” Will gave a cold smile.
Weird. He’s not dreaming. This is real life. Then why is Will acting like this? Like Mike did something wrong, when clearly he didn’t say a word to him. “Is everything okay?”
Will took a sip of his drink. “Great. Why would it be not?”
Mike opened then closed his mouth. “Sorry, I remembered, Dustin is waiting for me. We have to try some drinks out.” Mike smiled and left. He walked up to the counter where Dustin and El were trying out those weird drinks. El was clearly disgusted by them, but still agreed to taste another one when Dustin offered.
“Mike!” El yelled out. “Come here!” She shouted over the music.
“Having fun?” Mike asked.
“Yeah dude. Want some?” Dustin pulled the cup right in front of Mike’s face.
“I will pass.” Mike smiled. “Um hey. What is Will’s problem tonight?” Mike asked, confused.
“I dunno man. Better stay away, he was an asshole all day. When we arrived he left us and went drinking. Problems in life maybe.” Dustin shrugged his shoulders.
Problems in life? Bullshit. What kind of problems? It’s summer, which means no college. Maybe at work, but c’mon why by like this to everybody. Something is clearly wrong. Mike knows Will too well. Maybe they weren’t as close as before, but they were still friends and Mike will figure out what is wrong. Mike sat onto the same stool he was sitting before. Grabbed another drink. Fingers tapping against his glass, while he was lost somewhere in his thoughts. Someone sat onto the stool next to him, pulling Mike back from his mind.
“Why did you run off so fast?” Will asked, smiling.
Mike turned his head to Will’s direction. “Dustin was-”
“Avoiding me?” Will tilted his head.
Wha? What is this behavior? “Could say the same about you”
Will shook his head. “It’s about you”
What does he want to say with this? That Mike is avoiding him? He is not. Not tonight. He was looking forward to hanging out together like old times. After when Mike woke up from the curse, yes, he did try to avoid Will, cause he didn’t want to tell him what he saw that included him. He was afraid that if he did, Will would drift away. Even though he never told the story to Will directly, he figured it out from others, since then things were… intense between them. They just never mentioned it.
“New style?” Will looked Mike up and down.
“I wanted to try something new. El did the eyeliner.”
“Cool.” Will’s eyes lingered a second too long on the open collar of Mike’s shirt, on the faint glitter catching the light every time Mike moved. Mike suddenly became very aware of himself. On the way he was sitting. Of how close Will was.
“You look different,” Will added, softer now.
Mike let out a small laugh. “That bad?”
“No.” Will shook his head quickly. “Just… different.”
Mike turned slightly on the stool so they were facing each other more fully. Their knees brushed by accident and neither of them moved away right away. Heat crawled up Mike’s neck.
“You’ve been weird tonight,” Mike said carefully. “Did I do something?”
Will stared into his drink, rolling the plastic cup between his palms. For a moment Mike thought he wouldn’t answer. “You ever feel like,” Will started slowly, “someone changes… and you don’t know where you fit anymore?”
Mike frowned. “What do you mean?” He knows exactly what he means.
Will shrugged, but it looked forced. “Nothing. Forget it”
“No,” Mike said, leaning closer without realizing. “You don’t get to do that. You start something, you finish it.”
Will huffed a quiet laugh, eyes flicking up.”You always hated unfinished stories."
“Yeah, well,” Mike muttered, “I study literature now. Occupational hazard.”
That earned a real smile – small, but real – and for a second everything felt easy again. Familiar. Like being kids sitting on a basement staircase instead of strangers balancing around something unspoken.
The smile suddenly disappeared from Will’s face. Will stood up abruptly. “I need air.”
“Will. Wait”
“I just need some air,” he repeated.
Before Mike could answer, Will disappeared into the moving crowd. For a second Mike stayed frozen on the stool. Mike stood up quickly.
“Hey, where—” Dustin started from somewhere behind him.
“Outside,” Mike muttered, already moving.
He pushed through people toward the front door. Then– Cold air hit him. The night had turned dark and wet. Rain poured steadily, soaking the driveway, streetlights reflecting in long trembling lines across the pavement.
And there was Will. Walking away from the house to the street. Shoulders tense, hair already plastered to his forehead, shirt clinging to him.
“Will!” Mike called, stepping out immediately. Rain soaked through his clothes within seconds. “Where are you going? It’s pouring, you’re gonna get sick.”
Will didn’t turn at first.
Mike walked up from behind. “Seriously, come back inside.”
“I’m going home” Wills words melted to the sound of the rain.
“What? It’s like eight kilometres, you’re gonna be soaked.”
“Go back inside Mike, I’m serious.”
Mike grabbed Will’s wrist. “Did I do something?” Will turned to face him.
“Leave me alone” He slipped out of Mike’s grasp, the loss of contact sudden and sharp. Will turned his back to Mike and continued walking. For a moment Mike stood there frozen on the spot. His mind was spinning to a million places. He didn’t do anything wrong. Mike thought of everything he did tonight and wondered where he did wrong, but then he remembered that Dustin told him that Will was like this all day. Now thinking about it… He was acting strange since he came back for the summer. He didn’t want to hang out with anyone and when he did he stayed closer to Max and El. He tried avoiding Mike. That’s what Mike thought. Or was he avoiding him?
“Will! Don’t be like that!” Mike spoke up, but his words bounced to the wet pavement, getting soaked up there like a sound never left his lips.
This feels very familiar. Suddenly Mike was in that bedroom again, his jaw blooming with pain. His lips swollen from Will’s kiss, his eyes full of tears. Will ran away because Mike said horrible things to him. Because he was too afraid of who he was. Because Mike couldn’t explain that feeling to him. That his body and soul aches for him in every way possible. Because Mike learned how to read too late. How to read what was written in the sky a long time ago. But he won’t let Vecna’s prediction come true. He won’t let that happen. Not in this life. Not in any other universe. He never had the courage to speak up about his feelings, but maybe it was time to do that.
That summer after graduating high school the Party decided to make the most memorable summer of their lives. They wanted to make new memories, good ones. Their whole childhood was ruined by these shitty monsters and saving the world. Everyone survived that time differently. Their childhood was stolen from them and that was not fair. They never asked for this, but the trauma brought them closer, even though it sounds insane. That summer Will got accepted to an art program he always wanted to go to. So he insisted on drawing everyone’s portraits, because he only had half of the summer to be there together with everyone.
“Can you draw us together maybe?” Max asked Will.
“Make me look jacked,” Lucas joked. “No. Don’t do that Will, you’re going to regret it after.” Max warned him.
Will had an idea. “Or maybe…”
Everyone sprawled across the backyard in uneven circles, talking over each other, laughing too loudly. Will decided to draw everyone at once. This was his way of keeping them together.
He sat in the shade with his sketchbook balanced on his knees, pencil moving quickly. Mike sat closest, pretending to be focused on skipping rocks but glancing back every few seconds. Dustin dramatically posed until Lucas threw a piece of grass at him. Max laid on Lucas' legs looking at the clouds. And El sat beside them, quiet but comfortable her knees pulled close as she watched Will draw.
“Are we done yet?” Dustin asked for the tenth time.
“Almost,” Will said, though he kept adding tiny details. He was the most focused now on Mike’s face. The way the sunlight reflected on his freckles, on his pink lips, dark curls. The way clouds reflected in his dark eyes. For once everything was okay, he wanted to hold on to that moment, this was their last time being kids.
Nobody noticed how quiet he’d become, or how carefully he worked, trying to hold onto this moment. Because soon he would leave, and they wouldn’t all be in the same place like this anymore. But on the page, they were together – laughing in the endless summer afternoon – and they always would be.
Mike understands now. That feeling – of being stuck in time while everyone around you is changing, making new lives, meeting new people, going around the world, and suddenly you don’t know where you fit in their lives anymore. He lived with that feeling for thirty two years. He learned how to hate himself for that, that he was broken, because he wasn’t able to move on, to unfreeze the moment.
The rain soaked through his clothes, through his soul. Will was getting further now. Mike didn’t realise how exactly, but his legs started getting closer to him.
“Fuck, Will.” Mike called out. “I love you.”
Will froze. And then slowly turned around to look at him. “What did you say?”
Mike took a step closer and repeated, braver this time. “I love you.”
The only sound around them was the music blasting from the house and the rain hitting the pavement.
“No you don’t Mike, go back inside.”
Something sour twisted in Mike’s stomach. “Stop running away from me!”
Will turned around again. “You don’t get to say that.”
Mike’s breath shook, rain running down his face, mixing with the smudged black lines of eyeliner under his eyes.
“I’m not running,” he said, voice breaking. “I’ve been standing still my whole life, Will. everyone else just.. kept going.”
Will laughed once, sharp and humorless. “Yeah? Welcome to the club.”
“Don’t be like this Will”
“Like what? Huh? You don’t get to do this now.” Will snapped, rain ran down his face so Mike couldn’t tell what was rain and what wasn’t.
“Hear me out, just for a minute. Please. I’m begging you.” Mike sounded strangled and hoarse. He started quietly. “I saw how I fucked up, because I was to afraid to speak up, to ashamed of what others would think.” Mike breathed in. “Look I’m sorry for not telling you what happened to me when I was under the curse. You’re right for getting mad at me for that. You were there and I never told you that.”
“I wasn't mad because of that, Mike,” Will interrupted.
“Please let me finish.” The rain fell harder. Mike stepped closer. “Everywhere I went – every person I hooked up with, even though it sounds sick, I kept looking for you. I would imagine only you.” Mike could feel his heartbeat quicken. “In every person I look for something that reminds me of you, I look for your laugh, or the smile. I feel so ashamed because of that. Not of you…” Mike took a breath in looking now up at Will. “But of myself.”
“Because I finally get it. I didn’t lose you when you moved. I lost you because I was too scared to see what was right in front of me”
The sound of the rain melted, drumming against the silence between them.
“We’re friends,” Will said quietly, almost pleading. “You said that. You always say that”
Mike shook his head. “I don’t want to be your friend, Will.” His voice softened, but didn’t falter. “I don’t want to be your best friend. I want… you”
Will’s jaw tightened, eyes shining with something angry and hurt all at once. “Why are you telling me this now?” he snapped. “After everything? After California? After you and El –” Will shook his head. “You think this is funny?”
Mike couldn’t tell if he was crying, because his tears disappeared with rain drops on his face. “I-”
“No! Mike, shut the fuck up. Okay?” Will’s shoulders shook. “I spent all of my life looking out for you. Being corrupted by your presence, by the way you do things or say. You know how that felt?” Will looked with anger in his eyes. “Being a teenage boy and thinking what the hell is wrong with me? Being in love with your best friend. You don’t know what it’s like being called a freak all of your life, by the town, by the kids at schools. When I came back from the upside down everyone started calling me zombie boy. Hearing those talks from other parents, from grown people, Them saying that I ran away with some other queer freaks, when all I was is a scared kid, missing his mom.” Will was crying now. “Being called like that even by your own father. I had to survive this all alone and when I finally thought I was over you, you come and say these things. That’s sick and twisted. So no. You don’t get it!”
The silence was too loud now. Mike was out of words.
Mike spoke up. “She told me. She told me about the painting when we broke up. That you were the one who made it. That you were the one trying to tell me all along.”
Will went still.
“And I didn’t see it.” Mike whispered. “I’m sorry I didn’t see you sooner. I’m sorry you had to live through it all alone. I’m sorry about everything, okay? If I could - if I could turn the time back I would fall in love with you again, I would open my eyes sooner.’’ Mike took a step closer.
Will’s voice cracked. “It doesn’t matter. I moved on. It’s done. Done, Mike.” But neither of them moved away.
Mike let out a shaky laugh, the kind that sounded closer to defeat than humor. “You keep saying that,” he murmured. “But you’re still here.”
Will swallowed hard, rain dripping from his lashes. “Because you won’t let me.” Will’s hands curled into fists. “You don’t get to come back and change everything.”
“I’m not changing it,” Mike whispered, stepping closer again, close enough that Will could feel the heat of his breath despite the cold. “I’m finally telling the truth”
Will shook his head, but his voice faltered. “You’ll regret this tomorrow.”
“I already regret it every day I didn’t say it.”
Something in Will broke then — anger, hurt, years of silence crashing together. He stepped forward like he meant to push Mike away, but instead his hand caught in Mike’s soaked shirt.
“Why now?” Will whispered, almost desperate.
“Because losing you hurts more than being scared.”
The words hung between them — heavy, unavoidable.
Will stared at him, searching his face, eyeliner running down Mike’s cheeks like dark tears. And then, with a frustrated sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob, Will pulled him forward.
The kiss wasn’t gentle. It was messy, angry, years late — rainwater and shaking hands and everything they never said crashing together at once. They kissed like nothing mattered. Messy, the rain getting into their mouths. Mike’s hands hovered along Will’s side. Will’s hands sliding into Mike’s wet curls, pulling him even closer. Nothing mattered anymore. The rain. The cold. Only them. They pulled away for a second to catch their breaths.
“I can't, I'm sorry” Will said.
“Mike nodded slowly. “Then tell me to leave,” he said. “And I will”
Will opened his mouth.
Nothing came out.
And then Mike stepped closer again and their mouths collided. Their tongues meeting together, teeth smacking messy into each other. “You’re such an idiot,” Will murmured into Mike’s mouth. Mike let out a small laugh. “Yeah. I know”
“Let’s go to my place?” Mike smiled.
“What about others?”
“They can come back with your car” Mike smirked.
And they did so. Mike drove to his place, Will sitting in the passenger seat. Mike’s hand stayed on Will's hip. Mike unlocked his apartment door quickly, they crashed through the door kissing desperately. Mike pushed Will to the wall, kissing him more and more deeply.
He dropped his wet jacket on the floor, slipped out of his converse, everything while kissing. Mike’s tongue moved from Will’s lips to his neck. Pressing harder. Leaving tiny marks of his touch. Will twisted Mike’s hair, making him grunt into Will’s neck.
Mike’s leg made a place in between Will's thighs. One hand sliding up Will’s side, pushing fabric out the way just enough to feel the skin. The wet clothes sticking to their bodies. Their bodies collided again as they moved blindly through the apartment, bumping into furniture, laughing once — breathless and almost hysterical — before the sound dissolved into another kiss.
Mike’s hands slowed.
Not frantic now. Careful.
He traced Will’s jaw, his neck, thumbs brushing under his eyes like he was memorizing him. Will’s breathing hitched when Mike’s fingers slipped lower, hesitating at his waist, giving him time to pull away.
Will didn’t.
Mike swallowed, eyes softening, disbelief still written all over his face. Slowly, gently, he tugged at the zipper of Will’s jeans, stopping halfway, forehead resting against his.
“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, voice breaking completely. “God… I love you.”
And for the first time, neither of them tried to run from it.
♠
“Mike stop, you’re invading my personal space.” Will giggled.
“You like it when I do.” Mike kissed Will’s neck.
Will laid on Mike’s legs. The night is still young, but the stars are shining brightly in the sky. The only sound of the warm summer breeze and crickets in the grass. Mike decided to go stargazing tonight. Will caught a few falling stars in the sky.
Mike played with Will’s hair, Mike propped himself higher on his elbows. He looked at the sky then let himself lean closer, elbows sliding into the grass as he tried to close the gap between them. He gave Will a small warm kiss on his lips.
“I love you.” he inhaled the scent of Will’s body.
“You’re not ashamed?” Will looked to see Mike’s face.
“Of you? Never.” Mike shook his head. “I’m just scared of the future.”
“Me too.” Will whispered.
“But with you by my side everything’s easier.” he leaned in and kissed Will again.
“You’re so dorky.” Will laughed in his mouth.
“And you love me for it.” Mike teased.
"I do"
The stars above them didn’t blink. The world felt paused, just for this, just for them. It is never too late for love, it’s just that sometimes it can be hard to understand when it is in the air. Mike wrote I love you in the stars a long time ago, it just took time for him to learn how to read it.