Chapter Text
Player hasn't had a good sleep like that in weeks. It seems unreal; everything that happened last night. They want to feel it all again, taste it all again. They want to be able to hear it all.
But they feel a small twinge of guilt when they wake up to see Griefer below them. They roll off of Griefer, careful not to wake him. But of course, they fail.
Griefer wakes up and turns his head to face Player. The two lock eyes for a few seconds before Griefer slowly rises out of bed, leaving Player alone. The warmth is escaping them, quickly. They want to cry.
Am I wrong? How does he feel about me? Did he only do it to make me feel good? Was I dreaming? No, no way I was. That was real. But does he want something real? I need this. I need to know. He should just tell me something. I should tell him. Get it all over with. Keep that in the back of my mind for the rest of my life, never tell anybody, never do it again. It's for the better.
Player slips out of the covers and sits on the edge of Griefers bed, twiddling their thumbs, something they did when they used to get anxious. Which, mind you, doesn't happen much anymore, since anxiety is connected with fear.
But Player can't help it. They feel lost, out of touch with anything. They just want to feel Griefers touch again. That's all they can focus on. It's only hitting them hardly now because Griefer is gone.
He walked out, they think. He doesn't feel that way. He doesn't love me. He doesn't want anything serious. He walked out on me. He fucking walked out on me. I should know what that means.
Player hasn't had a single positive thought since waking up. All they can think about is how Griefer abandoned them. They try to cling on to that thrill of Griefer below them, kissing them like there was no tomorrow. Like it was the last thing he wanted to feel before the world ended.
But, of course, that's stupid, isn't it? No way. It's just some fantasy that they can't help but hope to come true.
Please, love me. I need it so badly. I need him so badly.
Player feels tears escape their eyes. They know it should be a good feeling; knowing they finally got to do what they've always wanted to do with him. But it isn't. It only makes it hurt more.
...
It's been about ten minutes. Player's been counting. Griefer still isn't back. Has he left for good?
Please.
Player can't stop hoping, but can't stop crying either. It isn't anything loud enough as the violent sobs they let out yesterday in Griefers arms; but god, do they wish they could do that again...
They couldn't believe anything was happening, and for good reason. It won't happen again.
Player hears footsteps. Shit.
He isn't gone. He didn't leave me. He's coming back.
Pull yourself together.
Without a second thought, they slap themself. It wasn't exactly pleasant, but hey, it helped them to start thinking rationally again.
Player doesn't exactly know if Griefer can see them yet, but they can sure hear him coming. They shoot up and start to put the mattress back to where it used to be, when suddenly, the footsteps stop.
Oh god.
Griefer is standing there, near the doorway of his bedroom.
"UM..."
Player turns to face him, eyes wide, heart pounding.
"D0 Y0U W4NN4 E4T S0M3TH1NG?"
An uncomfortable silence fills the space between them.
"Sure..." They say, timidly.
They grab the empty cup from the water Griefer had given them last night and walk out, behind him, but not too close.
"1V3 G0T... UH..."
"Hm. That seems..."
Another awkward silence, seeming it was going to last a long time before Griefer cuts through it. "FUCK. W3 NEED T0 T4LK, D0NT W3?"
Player is speechless. Griefer stares at them in a way they've never felt before. Not glaring. Not rude. Not just when they're talking casually. It feels completely different this time. Softer, kinder.
"I..."
Griefer looks more sad now. Player's ruined it, haven't they? They ruin just about everything. He takes a step back, begins to talk more about breakfast before Player cuts them off.
"Why'd you do it?"
"WH4T?"
"Why'd you let me kiss you?"
"WHY D1D Y0U L3T M3 K1SS Y0U?"
"Cause, uhh..."
Player purses their lips. They want to speak, but they can't. Something is holding them back.
Because I love you.
Just those four words will either ruin it all or change it all into something more serious.
"PL4Y3R?"
"I don't... Uh..."
"1 KN3W 1T."
"What?"
"TH4T W4SNT EVEN Y0U, R34LLY. N0B0DY TH1NKS RAT10NALLY 4T M1DN1GHT."
"I thought the exact same thing."
...
"I-"
"C4N 1 S4Y S0M3TH1NG STUP1D?" Griefer blurts out.
"You aren't stupid." Player states, more seriously.
"1VE, UM..."
Griefer sits back on a chair and sighs. It seems as if he's struggling to speak just as much as Player is.
"F0R 4 WH1L3 Y0U M4DE M3 FEEL, UM... SH1T, H0W D0 1 PUT 1T..."
"What? Weird?"
"1 ME4N, 1 GU3SS S0? 1 DUNN0 H0W T0 D3SCR1BE IT." Griefer says, staring at the floor.
Player pulls a second chair up to be facing in front of Griefer, close, but not extremely. "Me neither." They say, voice barely above a whisper.
Griefer looks up for a second before his gaze begins to falter, looking at all the different places on the Player's face, always coming back to their lips.
"1V3 BEEN TH1NK1NG 4B0UT BR1NG1NG 1T UP F0R 4 WH1L3, BUT Y0UV3 G0T Y0UR QU3ST, 4ND 1T W0ULD BE K1ND4 H4RD T0 M4K3 R00M T0 EVEN H4V3 M3 1N Y0UR L1F3."
"What?!"
"Y0UR3 4LW4YS BUSY 1N S0M3 W4Y. C4NT ST4Y F0R T00 L0NG."
"I can always fit in time for you, y'know."
...
"Don't ever-"
"1 L0V3 Y0U."
Silence. A bit of shock.
"Huh?"
"1SNT TH4T 0BV10US 4FTER WH4T 1 JUST S41D?"
"I mean, in hindsight-"
"H1NDS1GHT? 1VE BEEN TRY1NG T0 H1NT 4T 1T, BUT Y0UR3 T00 F0CUS3D 0N TH0SE QU3STS T0 R34L1ZE."
"Oh. Sorry. I honestly never would've guessed."
"DUMB4SS3S, B0TH 0F US." Griefer states, laughing. Player loves his laugh.
"I kinda wanted to be the first one to say it, though."
"TH4N Y0U SH0ULD H4V3! C0M3 0N."
"I didn't think you'd feel the same way."
"Y0U L1T3R4LLY H4V3 N0 F34R."
"That doesn't mean it's really easy to confess your love for someone."
"H4RD3R TH4N 4 QU3ST F0R F0UR D4MN SW0RDS?"
"...No."
"Y34H. TH0UGHT S0."
...
"S0RRY."
"Sorry."
"C4N Y0U S4Y 1T, TH0UGH?"
Player sighs, laughing. "Say what?"
"Y0U KN0W 3X4CTLY WH4T."
Player sighs. "I love you, Griefer. And I'm sorry for not saying something earlier."
"TH4NKS."
Player reaches out and slips their fingers through Griefers. "You're welcome."
Griefer and Player laugh together. Player glances over to the stove, which still has a pot of water and a bunch of tea leaves on the counter. Without another word, Griefer and Player both stand up in sync. Griefer goes and gets cereal for the both of them while Player makes tea for the both of them. The only kind of tea they have that Griefer actually liked. They don't blame him, they mostly only have it to heal up. Some of it is gross. It also doesn't help that tea comes from, you know, plants. Might be kind of insensitive.
"Here." Player says, placing some right in front of Griefer, who thanks them. Player sits down as well, eating their cereal. They sit in silence together, but this time, it's no longer awkward. It's more warm and comforting this time.
They both finish after a little while. Griefer moves his chair to be closer to Player to very carefully rest his head on Players shoulder. Player can see little flowers blooming on the plant parts of Griefer.
"Never seen this before." Player mumbles.
"WH4T?" Griefer questions.
"Flowers on you. Started to bloom. That's kinda weird; this isn't the conditions they would bloom in."
"EH. 1M W31RD L1K3 TH4T."
"Is it 'cause you love me?"
"WH0 KN0WS. 1M 4 MYST3RY."
Thankfully, there's nothing painful about this. Maybe it's the flowers, or maybe he's just found the perfect part to rest on their shoulder.
"Y34H. PR0B4BLY 1S." He whispers.
And they just sit there, silently, comfortably, and lovingly. Just hours ago they were making out in the dark. Now, it's finally something. Not just a fantasy anymore. It's love. Genuine, obvious, and not ignorable love.
Player moves from Griefer, just enough to lift his head up for him. Afterwards, Griefer holds onto one of their shoulders, the other hand on their cheek. Player moves a hand to the back of Griefers head, maneuvering around the tiny vines entangled through his hair.
"You're a good kisser."
"C0ULD S4Y TH3 S4M3 F0R Y0U."
Player pulls Griefer into a quick kiss, pressing their forehead against his. Griefer kisses them again.
Maybe later they'll both be able to process everything that just happened.
Maybe later they'll look back on their friendship and completely take in that it was never meant to be just friendship.
Maybe later they'll get more comfortable and learn everything about each others bodies.
But they can leave that all for later. Player just wants to kiss him some more. It's definitely the best thing they've gotten to do in a long time.
Maybe it's stupid, selfish, and too fast. But Griefer wants it too, and in this moment, that's all that matters.
"Wanna be my boyfriend?"
"0H, FUCK Y3S."