Chapter Text
CIT princess: *attached a 6 second video clip where Geoff, completely shirtless, plays an off-tune guitar to Bridgette with the only lyrics “I love you, bitch”. Bridgette says “oh my god” and Geoff keeps singing “I ain’t gonna stop lovin’ you, bitch”, still off-tune.
CIT princess: I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.
death metal: do both 😈
CIT princess: Duncan, you’re a menace to society.
goth daria: wait for it
death metal: aww, that’s the nicest thing youve said to me since world tour shitshow
CIT princess: Are you serious right now? That wasn’t even a compliment!
death metal: u dig me :)
CIT princess: Why do I even bother…
goth daria: there it is!
kurt cobain: man, this brings back memories. :’)
X10N: can’t believe that geoff did a vine just to romance bridgette lmao
PARTY: she loved it!!! :D
PARTY: man, i’m a genius!
death metal: still waiting for the “sike”
PARTY: bro, i thought we were bros :((
death metal: correction, i said we could be bros if you can handle my hardcore sarcasm and brutal honesty on daily basis
PARTY: shit ur rite
death metal: of course i am fucker
bookworm: something is seriously wrong with you all.
big O-reos: lil buddy! :D :D :D
izzzy: HEEEEY FLABBY
bookworm: NO
izzzy: imma find you :))
bookworm: NO
izzzy went offline
bookworm: NO LEAVE ME ALONE
bookworm went offline
CIT princess: I shouldn’t find this funny, but I absolutely do.
death metal: you should
death metal: it’s funny as fuck
goth daria: also sweet revenge for fucking up our mojo at the dodgeball bullshit
X10N: technically you were fucked the second duncan joined the game
X10N: we’re like kings at this shit
X10N: no one could stop us
goth daria: well if everything was so great, what happened then?
X10N: puberty.
X10N: suddenly i got boobs and a snatched waist
X10N: plus dunc’s face looked more like dad
X10N: we couldn’t do the switch-a-roo anymore
death metal: tbf i also have a snatched waist
death metal: the thing that fucked us over was i got dad’s fucking dumb jawline and that shit
X10N: t’was a sad day
CIT princess: You do know that adding “t’was” won’t make you sound smarter, right?
death metal: t’wasn’t trying to
CIT princess: Ugh.
goth daria: so you two mean you looked exactly the same as kids
death metal: yep
goth daria: bullshit
death metal: >:)
animal lover: i don’t like that smirk
X10N: *attached a photo of a little boy and a little girl, they appear to be around five or six and their physical resemblances are uncanny. They look almost exactly the same except the boy has black hair and the girl has golden blonde hair*
malibu: omg 🥺🥺
PARTY: duuuuude YOU LOOK THE SAME
death metal: fuck yeah we did
Animal lover: man i would’ve never guess that duncan is a twin
goth daria: alright now i believe it
X10N: our best prank was still when we wore the same clothes and dyed our hair to look exactly the same
queen bee: ugh, exactly what this world needs
queen bee: two fucking terrors being on the loose
Barbie: awww, doug and rhea looks so cute
X10N: …i don’t know how you got my name that wrong, but my name is rikki, not “rhea”
death metal: for the last time, it’s duncan.
CIT princess: Don’t bother.
CIT princess: The only way she really remembers someone’s actual name is if she hates the person.
CIT princess: Lindsay, who do you hate the most in the whole world?
Barbie: Heather.
CIT princess: See?
goth daria: never thought i’d feel good about lindsay getting my name wrong all the time, but now i do
queen bee: watch it. i know where you live, crazy in training
CIT princess: So?
le-sistah: girl, why does queenie know where you live??
goth daria: #stalkeralert
X10N: i promise i didn’t doxx anyone this time
CIT princess: She probably overheard when I told Bridgette where I live…WHICH WAS A PRIVATE CONVERSATION
queen bee: as if anywhere was private on that crummy island
X10N: i still bet i would’ve lasted longer than duncan on the island
death metal: no, you’d get your ass booted on the second day or so
X10N: wanna bet?
death metal: why not
goth daria: pls don’t. i’m tired of all your sick dares and bets
X10N: a lil psa; me and duncan’s bets are not for the faint-hearted. our bets are always hard core
Animal lover: …I take it as we should call an ambulance ASAP then?
X10N: rude
death metal: true, tho
PARTY: dude i’m getting the cameras :D
PARTY: …well…
malibu: i mean
malibu: that could’ve gone better
queen bee: that was the most idiotic thing i’ve ever seen
le-sistah: says queenie who drove 24 miles to see this shit going down
le-sistah: ALSO HOW IS JUVIE’S TWIN STILL ALIVE?!?!
doris: beats me
doris: and duncan better change my name back
X10N: dude that was me
death metal: as if i waste my time changing doris online name
X1ON: get ur facts straight, nerd
death metal: AND YOU GET THE FUCK TO SLEEP
death metal: i’m still pissed at the bullshit you just pulled
X10N: ur not mom or dad, u can’t tell me what to do
CIT princess: Rikki, please go to sleep.
X10N: ok
death metal: that little shit
CIT princess: She likes me better. :P
X10N: *attached an embed videolink which is titled “Rage Quit - The Impossible Game” by the user JuvieBoy*
goth_daria: I AM WHEEZING
PARTY: LMAOOOOOO DUNCAN BRO
kurt cobain: my fucking sides hurt so much from laughing so hard
malibu: i’m crying….omg
animal lover: “Swiss Fucking Cheese” - Duncan, 2012
PARTY: i loved the “super square boy” comment, like a parody of super meat boy!
death metal: HOW THE HELL DID YOU MORONS FIND MY VT CHANNEL?!!?
death metal: RIKKI YOU LITTLE FUCKING TURD
death metal: …HOW DID I GET 100K SUBS?!?!
X10N: u welcome bro :)
CIT princess: I never knew that Duncan had a VidTube channel or recorded Rage Quit videos.
X10N: u don’t have a fave quote from his rage quit?
CIT princess: Not really. I was more worried about his blood pressure.
CIT princess: But if I have to pick, then I’d pick where he mocks nerds who beat it in 0 attempts and calls them “losers”, how he didn’t make the goodamn game and doesn’t “give a fuck” and that they shouldn’t “give a fuck either”.
X10N: my favorite was when he got so angry that he started to laugh like a crazy dude. then at the end, he played the entire thing perfectly in silence and then ended the video with “sweet, i beat it”.
PARTY: so what’s next game, dude
death metal: as if i’m gonna tell u
X10N: next game he’s gonna play is called “super amazing wagon adventure turbo”. some sort of 32-bit game, reminds me a bit of oregon trail.
X10N: for future reference, i put up a “suggestion” post on his VidTube channel asking subscribers and followers what game they want Dunc to play next. so there’s a poll every week where u pick between two games of choice. last week, super amazing wagon adventure turbo won the weekly poll
death metal: goddamnit, why did u tell them
X10N: i’m helping u with ur vidtube channel, bro. could be a bit grateful
X10N: i edit ur vids, but i don’t even get paid for it :/
CIT princess: Do you get anything out of this, then?
X10N: i get to guest star in his vids. our minecraft vids are gold, btw. geoff and dj joins us sometimes
X10N: can’t wait for geoff to fall into the lava again
PARTY: not cool, dudette
death metal: u keep falling into the fucking lava every goddamn time
death metal: not our fault u cant see where ur fucking going
PARTY: not my fault there’s lava wherever i do, dudes!!
Animal lover: i mean…
Animal lover: the big lava pit was right there, you made a 360 and walked straight into it
PARTY: wow even u DJ??
death metal: u act like a dumbass, then u get to suffer
X10N: doesn’t help he had the iron, the diamond, the slime and everything important we needed
X10N: and then the fucker walks straight into the lava, so we gotta to start all over again
X10N: whoopee-fucking-doo
death metal: i doubt u suffered, sis
death metal: u were in the nether, kicking ass and taking names
CIT Princess: And where were you, may I ask?
death metal: kicked ass in a dungeon
death metal: thats why u never dig down without diamond armor, diamond sword and lots of food
CIT Princess: And what did you do, DJ?
Animal lover: built our the base for operations. stocked up on food, collected redstone, got the enchantment table up and running and defended the base from monsters
goth daria: so everyone had important jobs and geoff just fucked it up
PARTY: HEY :((
CIT Princess: Seems like it.
goth daria: i want in, duncan
death metal: what’s in for us, then
goth daria: trade u my redstone and emeralds, i’m good at fighting in the nether and mining obsidian
death metal: deal done! ur in, witch.
PARTY: ????
PARTY: what about the 12 tasks?!?!?
death metal: oh thats just u, man
death metal: also my server, my rules
death metal: welcome to chaos, pasty
goth daria: thnx