Chapter Text
JUNE 27TH.
Yoonchae is on the phone with Megan as she’s sweeping their apartment. She has an airpod in one ear while Megan is getting off of work, and right now they are currently discussing what they’re going to have for dinner tonight.
“Do you want Chinese again?” Yoonchae offers.
“I’m not feeling it. My mom has kind of already gotten me sick of eggrolls, which sucks because she always makes some bomb hot oil to go with it but now I just can’t even—ugh! Do you have any other ideas?”
“I would say if we could go out for Korean barbeque again, but I think our favorite spot is closed for the rest of the week.” Yoonchae says with a frown, even though she knows Megan is incapable of seeing her. Yoonchae can hear the blinker of Megan’s car in the background of the call.
“I mean, we could always just make that one ramen you really like. We have some packs left, right?”
“What ramen?” Yoonchae asks as she puts the broom and dustpan away. “We don’t even have any ramen here.”
“You know, the Shin brand, our comfort food?…oh fuck, do you not remember?”
“No…”
It’s silent on the other end of the call, then Megan announces she’s gonna make a U-Turn. Yoonchae asks her for what.
“I’m gonna go buy some so you can remember what it tastes like. At least now we know what we’re going to eat for dinner! Thank me later.”
Which is how Megan ends up coming home twenty minutes later with bags in her hands filled with packs and packs of ramen. For good measure, she had also brought some store-made dumplings.
“I only have the energy to stir-fry and boil water today.” Megan says as she puts the bags of groceries on the countertop. Yoonchae gives her an amused look with her arms crossed as she leans against it. “What?”
Yoonchae shakes her head, “Nothing. Don’t worry about it. How was work?”
Megan lets out a sigh as she turns on the stove and puts a pot filled with water over the cooktop. She turns around to face Yoonchae, “Busy. A lot of mixing and mastering I had to do today. Not a big fan.” She opens the bag of dumplings, “The best part of my job is actually meeting the beats. You know, like, adding the drums and stuff like that.”
“But you don’t have a drum set.”
“Correct.” She puts some dumplings in a pan on the other cooktop. “Because for one, they’re expensive as hell, two, loud as hell, three, I'm not a professional player yet, and four, drum loops and samples exist. They make my life easier.”
“Yet?”
“Manon is teaching me twice a week. We’ve started with simple patterns, of course, but eventually I do want to create my own drum sounds for my music.” Megan starts putting the three packs of ramen into the pot, then pushes down the pieces with her pair of chopsticks. Yoonchae goes to stand beside her and starts turning the dumplings. Their stove heats up incredibly fast, something Megan apparently didn't know when she had first bought it. She had called Yoonchae the day after, all worried about how fast her steak had burned within a few minutes. Megan retold the story to Yoonchae at dinner last night, a tradition of reminding Yoonchae of the past that they do every time they have a chance to eat together. Yoonchae wonders what Megan will tell her this time.
“Do you want to watch a show or movie while we eat?” Megan offers a few minutes later when she puts in the seasoning and vegetable packets for the ramen.
“You mean eat on the couch?”
“Obviously, what else?” Megan teases her. Yoonchae lightly pushes her shoulder. She giggles, her whisker dimples showing.
Yoonchae turns off the cooktop with the dumplings and tries one. It’s hot, and she signals Megan with her hand fanning over her mouth as a way of showing to be careful when eating. Megan doesn’t take her warning seriously though, because she puts a dumpling in her mouth and immediately has to spit it out back onto her palm from how hot it is. She turns around in embarrassment while still laughing at her silliness. Yoonchae tries her best to hide the growing smile on her face even though she knows Megan can’t see it.
When they’re both able to calm down, Yoonchae gets their dishes while Megan is splitting their portions evenly. There’s still some leftover dumplings, so Yoonchae figures that will go towards Megan’s lunch tomorrow. Yoonchae sits their food on the coffee table in front of their big TV in the living room while Megan goes to get cool drinks from the refrigerator.
“Just open Netflix and see what’s on the homepage.” Megan tells her as she logs into their account. Yoonchae sees the faint stain of red on Megan’s hoodie from when she was taste-testing the ramen earlier. She points to it, trying to see if Megan was aware. Megan looks down and sighs, knowing that it’s gonna be a hard stain to get off. She heads off to what’s properly the laundry room and Yoonchae ends up picking Weak Hero. She remembers watching the first season when it came out and the announcement for season two, but not watching the second season. She thinks Megan wouldn’t mind a rewatch, but she’ll ask anyway, just in case.
Megan comes back a few minutes later without her sweatshirt, revealing the loose white t-shirt she has on. Her collarbones are on display, and Yoonchae has to try her best to redirect her gaze back onto the TV rather than Megan’s exposed skin. “What did you end up picking?” She ends up answering her own question before Yoonchae is able to answer, “Ooh! I love this show! We had binge-watched it together when it came out and I cried, like, seven or eight times. Good times.”
“Seven or eight times?” Yoonchae laughs softly. “And what was I doing?”
“Crying or cuddling with me.” Megan says casually, finally sitting down beside Yoonchae and grabbing her plate of food. “You’re not as tough as you think you are.”
“Wow,” Yoonchae says, taking mock offense as she clips on season two episode one. She wraps both her and Megan in the grey blanket that always sits on the couch. They cuddle closer, recapping season one as they eat their ramen (which was very spicy, by the way) and dumplings. At one point Yoonchae stuffs her cheeks full of food, and Megan can’t resist the urge to squish them together playfully. Yoonchae gives her a playful look.
“Sorry, you look so cute, You look like a chipmunk.”
“I thought you said I looked like a cat.”
“Well, that too. The point is, you’re so cute.”
Megan doesn’t see it, but a faint tint of blush begins to appear on Yoonchae’s face. She needs to snap out of it.
JULY 11TH.
Watching k-dramas is now a regular occurrence for them. Every Wednesday and Saturday afternoon, Yoonchae and Megan gather together in their living room with a bowl of popcorn, some juice or soda, and two thick blankets. Megan takes the right side while Yoonchae takes the left, and the bowl sits on both of their thighs. Megan is the one who usually eats most of the popcorn whereas Yoonchae drinks a whole bottle of Fanta. Yoonchae puts her phone face down on the table and turns do not disturb mode on. Megan shuts her phone off.
They continue to watch Weak Hero 2 after Yoonchae really enjoyed the first two episodes of the second season, and right now they’re on the fourth episode where Sieun breaks Seongje’s glasses frames so he can stab him in the foot with it, as they are currently fighting on top of a rooftop. Yoonchae isn’t quite sure how the edge of the tips are able to go though his skin, but hey, k-drama logic, and she can’t quite focus right now. Her attention is mainly on her and Megan’s thighs touching and just about being shoulder-to-shoulder on the couch despite the amount of space they have.
Eventually, their Netflix pauses from the inactivity and they’re both too lazy to grab the remote that is currently sitting on the coffee table. It’s silent, and Yoonchae can hear Megan breathing right beside her. “Yoonchae,”
“Hm?”
“Have you had anything come back recently?” Her voice is low and quiet, and her tone reminds Yoonchae of the first time they met. Well, the second time she had met Megan. The time she actually remembers. Yoonchae can feel Megan’s warm breath on her cheek since she turned her head to face her. “Like, any memories?”
Yoonchae sighs, rubbing her temple when she understands what Megan is asking. There’s been nothing. No inklings, not even a single nightmare about the accident or a tingle of deja vu. She doesn’t want to answer, she probably shouldn’t, but she turns her head to face Megan back. Her eyes immediately drift to her lips. That’s not a good sign. Not a good sign at all. But then she lifts her eyes back at Megan’s, and it hurts her to see how there’s still a shimmer of hope inside of them. Megan is too hopeful. Megan expects the best out of everything.
“No,” Yoonchae admits truthfully. “I’m sorry.” It’s not even her fault. Why is she apologizing for something out of her control? She turns away from Megan. “I’ve lost years worth of memories and six months of my life I can’t get back.”
“Is losing six months that bad?” Megan asks genuinely.
“That’s six months of experience of growing and learning I can’t get back. I couldn’t control it. I’m closer to dying. I lost memories, too. You’re the main person affected by this. I couldn’t celebrate my birthday. Are there other things I didn’t get to celebrate?” When Yoonchae looks back at Megan, she sees that the latter has lowered her head to her lap, fidgeting with her hands.
Megan doesn’t say anything.
“Your birthday, right?” Megan’s birthday is February 10th.
“Well, that’s one of them. And yeah, I spent it alone.”
“See what I’m talking about?’ Megan looks up at her again this time, her bangs hovering over her eyes just enough for Yoonchae to get distracted for a moment. “...And, what if it happens again?”
“What do you mean? I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
“Another accident. Or what if my brain is never the same again? I’ve already accepted that I probably will never remember anything I’ve lost. There’s no point in being hopeful.”
Then they sit in silence again. Their thighs are still touching and Yoonchae is trying to not look at Megan’s exposed skin. Damn her and those pajama shorts that she wears.
Megan clears her throat after a bit, “Well, if you ever do…can you tell me? If you remember anything.”
Yoonchae nods, and pats her shoulder gently with the hand that’s not currently underneath the blanket. “Of course I will.”
Megan smiles back, and she shifts in her position so the blanket covers her body more. There’s goosebumps on her skin, as if she had finally noticed the way her and Yoonchae were touching. “Are you ready to move onto the next episode?”
“I’m gonna be honest with you, I zoned out during the last few minutes of episode four.” Yoonchae chuckles. “Do you mind playing it back?”
Megan smiles at her, her whisker dimples showing like they usually do when she finds something funny. She’s seen it time and time again, but now for some odd reason, it makes Yoonchae feel something funny in her stomach. “You just want an excuse to see Baku again.”
“That’s not—”
“True? Yeah I know, I’m just messing with you. Now come here and give me some of your blanket. It’s cold.”
JULY 14TH.
After having to hear about the app for what seems like the hundredth time from her fellow co-workers, Yoonchae gets curious about her Instagram and finally decides to open the app for the first time since she woke up.
It’s not all that surprising that she’s only just now doing this; Yoonchae has always had her notifications off for the app, so she never gets reminders of who was posting. But after seeing how much Megan and the other girls have to use Instagram to promote their work, Yoonchae wants to see what’s going on.
She doesn’t know what to expect. Posts about her personal life or job? How many people will have access to her account? Is her account even public or private? Does Megan follow her?
“Silly question.” Yoonchae mutters to herself as she lays in bed. Of course her own roommate would follow her.
The first thing she sees is the amount of stories her mutual friends have posted in the past 24 hours. Yoonchae isn’t interested in viewing any of them right now, so she skips ahead to look at her own profile. 2 posts. 42 followers, 50 following. Private account. Her bio only says “🍒💞”, which throws her off completely. Why the random cherry and heart? Does she have a secret loving passion for liking cherries? Yoonchae is confused. Her profile picture is a photo of her facing the sunset, which she guesses does match the aesthetic that Instagram accounts usually have.
One of her posts is just a singular photo of a necklace, presumably one that she owns herself. Her initials, JYC, sit on her chest like they were made to be there for her whole life. 60w, the post says, meaning that she hasn’t posted anything new in over a year. She has no clue who bought it for her or why she owns it, but Yoonchae figures she could easily try to find the piece of jewelry somewhere in her drawer.
The second post, however, is more questionable. It’s from 127 weeks ago, and it contains six photos. Image one is the waves on a beach. Image two is a plate of lobster and pasta salad with a soda on the side. Image three is a mirror selfie of her outfit to go walk around the area with something (or someone, but Yoonchae doesn’t consider that possibility) being blurred in the background. Image four is someone’s hand with a silver bracelet on. Image five is a sandcastle. Image six is a picture of the night sky.
Then Yoonchae reads the caption she had written: Out of all the constellations in the sky, my favorite was definitely the one who was standing beside me the whole time. Love you.
Huh. Odd.
Then, Yoonchae decides to go look at Megan’s profile. She’s almost the exact opposite of Yoonchae, actually. 68 posts, 3,281 followers, 482 following. Her most recent post is from this morning, which makes sense due to her using her account to promote her music or just give life updates. Most of her posts are photo dumps with an occasional behind the scenes look of new music she’s working on.
Yoonchae clicks on her most recent story, which was posted an hour ago. It’s a photo of her monitor with a new project opened up. You can see Megan doing a peace sign in the reflection of the screen. She also has comments enabled, so Yoonchae scrolls through the comment section, various replies like new personal music coming soon??? with thirty-four likes or 🔥🔥🔥 with twenty-seven likes, However, when Yoonchae scrolls to the very bottom, she sees a comment unlike the others with zero likes.
Megan, how come you archived so many posts and highlights? You never do this, even for when you release music
Then four replies:
from what i remember, i think she archived stuff from her personal life. there were three highlights with a pink heart emoji. I cant remember what posts tho
— maybe a heartbreak?
— we shouldn’t speculate. we don’t know what goes on in her personal life
— we’ll figure it out when that EP drops LMAO
JULY 28TH.
Yoonchae comes home exhausted one afternoon from physical therapy, ready to complain to Megan as soon as she walks through the door then jump into bed for the rest of the day, but her plans are put on hold when she’s greeted with the sight of Megan in her glasses pacing around their living room, one hand buried in her hair from stress, the other holding her phone against her ear. Oh. She’s on call with someone right now.
Megan gives Yoonchae a half-hearted grimace and wave when she finally notices her, then continues pacing around, biting her nail after her hand that was previously in her hair gets moved. “I already told you, it’s not a big deal, I’ve been managing perfectly fine.”
There’s chatter from the other end of the line so Megan stays quiet, and then, “Mom, okay, look, listen. I appreciate it. I really do. But I’ve been so damn stressed with everything, you know how I am! I have to keep up with the demand, pay all the insurance, look through the car market every day, make sure I take my medicine at appropriate times and have the right amount of doses. And mind you, I have to do all of this on my own. And on top of that, you know how—” Megan pauses for a brief moment, a sharp exhale coming from her mouth as she looks at the concerned Yoonchae in front of her. “Nevermind. I don’t wanna bother the girls right now, and I know you just had a rough flight, so I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? Goodnight, I love you.” She hangs up the phone and groans loudly, throwing her phone on the couch as she sinks to the floor, burying her face in her knees.
“Megan?” Yoonchae carefully approaches her, sitting down beside her. “Is everything alright?” No, it clearly isn’t, but Yoonchae isn’t sure on how else to start the conversation.
“Nothing is alright, Yoonchae.” Megan mutters under her breath. “I feel like everything I do just gets rewarded with another fucking punch in the face.”
Yoonchae’s stomach twists with anxiety. “Hey,” She rests a hand between her shoulder blades as a form of comfort. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
Megan takes off her glasses to clean the lenses, then puts them back on. “Everything is just a pain in my ass.” She grumbles. Megan’s staring at her own knees now, arms tight with tension, “I just keep getting constant reminders of how shitty everything is going right now and nothing is getting better, or easier, and I’ve been hearing the same shit again and again, and I can’t even fucking sleep properly! I haven’t gotten a proper sleep since, I don’t know? Before you fell into a coma! And whose fault is that? It’s—” She gets too carried away, her voice rising to a yell, so just rubs her temple with her hand and takes a shaky sigh. “I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry Yoonchae. I’m such a mess right now and—”
Yoonchae takes in the trembling of Megan’s shoulders, her crumpled posture, and shrill voice. “Hey,” She wraps an arm around Megan’s shoulders, cautiously holding her loosely. “Don’t say that. I know you’re going through a lot right now, aren’t you? Like that check-up you had today?”
Megan melts into her touch, sagging against Yoonchae and her voice quivers as she speaks, “Yeah. That’s another thing, too. I got diagnosed with adjustment disorder. It’s where…I wasn’t listening all the way to be honest, which I know isn’t good, but I was on the verge of freaking out. But from what they told me, it’s a medical condition you get from being so stressed about a huge change or event in your life, I’m pretty sure.”
“From what?” Yoonchae asks. “The accident?”
“Of course it was the accident.” Megan tells her, taking off her glasses and setting them on the coffee table. “I hate how…I hate how insane I’m acting about this whole thing. It wasn’t even me who got in the crash and lost parts of my life, you did! You’re the one who almost died, the one who got into a coma, the one who lost all her memories. I remember everything about you, and you remember nothing about me. And you know what’s even worse? Every night when I’m trying to sleep, all I can think of is the moment my heart dropped when I got the call from the police about you getting in the accident, about how they found you laying in glass, how the car was on its side, how your seat was smeared with blood…” She’s shaking, and Yoonchae can do nothing as Megan pulls away from her touch and how her hands are trembling in her lap. “Every morning when I get in the car, all I can think of is you…” She sobs. “Oh my god.”
“I keep thinking about it. How no one knew if you were going to ever wake up again, how your parents reacted when they first heard the news, how I bent the speed limit rushing to the hospital. How I tried to watch you get your CT scan from the window but then the workers pulled me away. How I had to sit in the waiting room for hours, waiting for any news if you were still breathing or not, How I fell to my knees and Sophia had to tug me off the floor when they told me you were still alive but had to put you in the coma to even give you a chance…”
“Megan,” Yoonchae says softly, attempting to sooth her. She strokes a hand up to Megan’s hair and massages the nape of her neck.
“I should’ve been with you. I always drive you to the store because we go shopping together but that day I had slept in since we had stayed up late.”
“Megan, no, come on, don’t say that…” It only results in Megan sobbing harder and curling further into herself. Her knees are just about to her chest. “I’m happy you weren’t with me that day. You could’ve gotten hurt too.”
That sets Megan off, she crumbles and she fully lays down on the floor face first, sobbing into the ground as Yoonchae rubs her back soothingly. “Better than you being hurt alone.” She mumbles, pressing a fist to her forehead as she sobs even harder. Yoonchae wishes she could do more for her. Yoonchae feels ungrateful. She’s lucky to be alive, she's lucky that she doesn't have to remember the trauma the accident could've given her, and she hasn’t taken a moment to think about how all of this has been affecting Megan. Meanwhile, on the other hand, it’s all Megan can think of.
After a bit, Megan lets out a few more sobs, but they’re weak and followed by long, deep inhales. She straightens after a while, wiping her puffy eyes and sniffles. She grabs her glasses from the coffee table and tries her best to not look at Yoonchae. “Sorry. I guess panic attacks always hit me really hard.”
“You don’t have to be sorry for anything,” Yoonchae mutters softly, facing her back.
Megan turns around to face her, and it looks like she might cry again. “Thanks, Yoonchae.”
“Do you want anything to eat? I can cook you some ramen if you want.” Yoonchae offers, relieved to see how Megan’s muscles have now relaxed. She wishes she could do more for Megan. She likes helping Megan. She likes making Megan happy. She likes—
“I gotta shower before I even think of putting anything in my stomach.” Megan looks a little embarrassed, as if she should feel ashamed of crying about Yoonchae and how her coma affected her. She smiles anyway. Yoonchae hums in acknowledgement.
About twenty minutes later, Megan comes out of the bathroom with baggy shorts, a loose t-shirt, and a towel in her hand to dry her hair and is met with the sight of Yoonchae plating the ramen for her. Yoonchae smiles, and the warmth in Megan’s eyes makes her night.
AUGUST 7TH.
There are some nights where Yoonchae just can’t sleep.
It’s a side effect of the coma, she was told, sometimes waking up multiple times during the night or not being able to fall asleep at all. When this happens, she either A) rolls around in bed wishing for the best, B) scrolls on her phone, or C) takes a walk around the apartment to do something to get herself tired. Tonight, she chose option C, getting up from her bed and grabbing a leather jacket and putting it over her pajamas since it’s a little chiller than usual tonight.
Yoonchae walks out of her room and heads to the kitchen, taking out their gallon of milk and pouring some in a glass to heat it up in the microwave. Megan tells her that warm milk can help with her sleep problems.
Speaking of Megan, the door to her room is open and the light is on, meaning that Megan is not currently sleeping right now. Yoonchae goes to check her room and sees that she’s not there, and as the microwave goes off, she grabs her phone out of her pocket to check her location. It says that Megan is still here. Yoonchae believes that since Megan can’t go anywhere without her phone. Huh.
Yoonchae heads back to the kitchen to grab her glass of milk and as she takes a sip, she sees that Megan is currently outside on the balcony, the sliding door unlocked and the curtains moved to the side. In a quick decision, she decides to join her.
There are many things Yoonchae could’ve expected to see when she gets close to the door. What she sees is Megan leaning over the balcony in her regular pajamas, glasses and messy hair, and after watching her for a few seconds, she sees as Megan moves her arm to rest on the railing and gets shown the cigarette in between her fingers. Moments later, cigarette smoke comes out of her mouth.
Yoonchae opens the door with one hand, her other occupied with holding her glass of milk, and apparently Megan can’t hear the door opening. She watches as Megan takes one last inhale of her cigarette before taking it out of her mouth and squashes the butt into the pavement. She then fishes both her phone and the pack of cigarettes out of her pocket, checking the time to see 3:32 on her screen. Megan pulls another cigarette from the pack, resting the filter on her lips and lights it. She stuffs everything back into her pant pockets and seemingly takes the longest drag her lungs would let her.
“I thought you quit.”
The sudden, startling voice causes Megan to inhale much more than she wanted to. She breaks into a coughing fit like a teenager trying to smoke for the first time. Once she can breathe again, she turns around to see who’s voice it was. Yoonchae watches as a lightbulb goes off in Megan's head, registering that it was Yoonchae who spoke.
“I did,” Megan replies, her voice strained from choking on smoke. “Until recently, at least.” She takes in Yoonchae’s current state, one arm crossed with her hand under her armpit and holding her glass of milk up to her mouth. She tries her best to hide any sort of expression from Megan.
Yoonchae walks up to the balcony to be beside Megan, “What are you doing up?” She asks, changing the conversation.
“Like you, I also can’t sleep.” There’s a tremble in her voice from the cold air. “I’m still no less tense than when I came out here almost an hour ago.” Megan admits.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Yoonchae offers, even though she already knows what her response will be. If she wanted to talk about it, she wouldn’t be outside at three in the morning smoking. She probably would just wait until morning to tell Yoonchae as they eat breakfast, call her mom, or text her friends about it right now.
As expected, Megan doesn’t bulge. “I really don’t want to, honestly.” Taking another drag from her cigarette, she disguises a sigh by exhaling smoke. “Sorry.”
“Stop apologizing to me, Megan. You have nothing to be sorry about.” Yoonchae reassures her. Megan gives her a half smile. Yoonchae holds out the glass of milk, a little bit of liquid remaining. “Take the rest. It might help you fall asleep soon.”
Megan listens to her, drinking the rest in one gulp and hands the glass back to Yoonchae. “Thanks.” Yoonchae nods.
Then they watch the peaceful view below them, empty streets with only the streetlights giving the place any life during nighttime. Megan interrupts the silence after a bit, “I’m gonna stay out here for a little longer, okay? Try going back to sleep."
“Fine.” Yoonchae gives in. “But,” She holds out her leather jacket to Megan, signaling her to put it on. She notices the blush on Megan’s face, but she doesn’t say anything about it. “If you’re gonna stand out here in the cold, you’re gonna wear this. I don’t want you getting sick.”
Yoonchae hands her the jacket, and Megan slips it on. It’s definitely too big for her, but Yoonchae kind of finds it adorable seeing her wrap herself in the floppy sleeves of her jacket. Yoonchae would be happy seeing Megan wearing this. She thinks about how she would have no problem having Megan come into her room and opening her closet and—
She needs to snap out of it. Of this.
“I’ll stay on the couch until you come inside.” Yoonchae tells her. “Just in case you accidentally fall asleep out here.” She earns a laugh in response from Megan as she heads back inside, washing the glass then lying down on the couch as she scrolls on her phone.
Yoonchae doesn’t remember falling asleep. She wakes up when she feels herself being lifted in someone's arms as they maneuver their way to the opposite end of the apartment. The smell of cigarettes lets her know it’s Megan. She groans in annoyance due to her slumber being interrupted, and Megan shushes her soothingly as in apology. In little time, Megan’s gently putting her down on the bare mattress in her studio and covering her up with the singular blanket.
When Yoonchae senses that Megan is about to leave, she tugs on the sleeve of her leather jacket. “Stay,” She says, her eyes still closed.
“But—”
“I want you to say. And, this is your room, anyway. Were you about to go to sleep on the couch?”
Megan doesn’t answer. Instead, she sighs and goes to turn off the light. She puts her flash on and carefully lies down beside Yoonchae on the bed. Yoonchae scoots to the side closer to the wall. Her on the left, Megan on the right. “Night.” Megan mutters.
“Night.” Yoonchae says, feeling herself fall asleep again. She’s able to sleep peacefully for the first time in a while. And from what she can tell when they wake up the next morning, it’s the same for Megan.
AUGUST 16TH.
Yoonchae finds herself bored one day and decides to finally look through the stack of boxes in the corner of her closet. From what she was told by Megan, they mainly contain junk and a few memories from parts of her life. Yoonchae hadn’t planned on looking through them after only a few months of waking up from her coma, but she has nothing better to do and wonders if any memories will come back.
She looked through the first few – some toys she had when she was younger, her college diploma and past projects, a few souvenirs from countries she’s visited, stuff like that. She smiles when she looks back on these memories, a bit relieved that she didn’t lose these. Losing memories of other things and Megan was already bad enough.
She reaches for another box that’s near the back of all the boxes, and the top only has a heart drawn on top of it. There’s no other writing on the lid, which she finds strange, especially since she’s always so organized with all of her stuff.
Yoonchae takes off the lid of the box, and she’s met with the sight of stacks and stacks of polaroids. She takes out one of them and sets them down on the floor, changing her position so she’s in a comfortable position sitting down and begins to look through them.
The first few are just photos of the beach, sunset, or a beach house. There’s an occasional sneak of food too, such as crab, as well as seashells with Yoonchae proudly holding them in the background. She smiles at herself from years ago, wishing she could remember these moments…
Wait a second, who took the photos?
Yoonchae gets her answer a second later when she looks at the next polaroid in the stack. It’s a photo of her trying out a bathing suit, smiling so widely at the person behind the camera. Yoonchae can see part of their reflection in the mirror. She brings the polaroid closer to her face in hopes of being able to see their face, but no luck.
She grabs the next one, and it’s a photo of the other person looking at the sunrise with a cup of coffee in their hand and their back turned to the camera. Oh, it’s a woman.
Yoonchae is almost scared to grab the next polaroid in the stack, but she does it anyway.
She finds out who the woman is.
The polaroid is of Megan drinking a Piña Colada, grinning ear to ear and holding out a thumbs up as she looks at the camera. She looks very pretty. Yoonchae finds herself looking at the photo for longer than she should be. She snaps out of it, reaching for the next polaroid.
Time seems to stop when she sees it. Growing up, Yoonchae didn’t think people could possibly feel like everything around them freezes when something bizarre happens to them. Her reasoning: people just liked being dramatic. But now, at 26 years old, Jeung Yoonchae has learned that it is in fact possible.
The polaroid is a picture of her and Megan kissing on the lips. Megan’s holding the camera towards them as Yoonchae cups her cheek and closes the gap between them, tongue and all.
What the fuck.
Megan, as in, Megan Skiendiel, as in, her housemate, as in, the person who had told her when they first met that they were just friends. Has been telling her they’re just friends for the past few months.
Okay. Sure. Cool. Fun! Yoonchae’s trying her best to not freak out right now. She takes a deep breath, trying to find some logical reason why they’re kissing mouth to mouth in this photo. Haha, maybe it’s a friendly kiss? Maybe they were friends with benefits?
But then Yoonchae flips it over to the backside and sees the following words:
3/17/XX ♡
third anniversary. honolulu. to many more years to come. love you.
Holy fucking shit. That’s why our passcode is 0317.
Yoonchae grabs the next one. It’s another one of them kissing. She moves onto another one. Megan’s sitting on her lap, Yoonchae wrapping her arms completely around her waist as they both look into the mirror.
Yoonchae then practically dumps out the rest of the polaroids in the box, and she’s overwhelmed with the amount of polaroids there are. It’s just them two. It’s photos of them two over the years, as their relationship has progressed. She looks at every single one of them one by one, some being silly, such as a polaroid with them sticking their tongue out as they eat ice cream holding hands, some being wholesome, such as Megan holding a red panda plushie that she won from a carnival, the caption on the back reading i won it for her, she said she’s gonna sleep with it every night from now on and it takes Yoonchae a moment to remember that’s the same damn plushie that’s in Megan’s room right now. There’s also some being more on the explicit side. One of the many polaroids that they have is the two of them in bed cuddling, completely naked, with hickeys all over both of their necks, and Yoonchae feels herself getting hot and decides this is enough.
She’s putting all of the polaroids back in the box, her hands shaking. Yoonchae looks at the last polaroid she didn’t look at, and it’s one of Megan taking a sip of wine at a fancy restaurant. She checks the date,
10/16/XX
romantic dinner together ♡
October 16th. The day before Yoonchae got into the accident and fell into a coma.
Megan has been in love with her for years, and before the coma, it was reciprocated by Yoonchae. They traveled together. They went on dates together. They went through so much together. They lived together. Yoonchae then realizes that Megan has probably seen her fall apart in more ways than one in their everyday life more than the amount of freckles on her face. She probably has Yoonchae's body memorized like her own social security number. Hell, Megan probably knows Yoonchae’s, too. Yoonchae has experienced having Megan’s lips against her, having her body’s warmth right next to her…
She can’t fucking do this.
Yoonchae gets up, leaves her room and storms to Megan’s room. How could she lie to her about all of this? Is this not fucking insane?
The door is already open, lucky for Yoonchae, and she’s about to confront Megan until she sees the sight in front of her.
Megan is passed out on her chair, her monitor having a song project opened up. Her headphones are still on, and she even has that damn red panda plushie in her lap as moral support. She’s snoring peacefully, and on a regular day Yoonchae would take a picture and mutter how cute to herself, but right now she is too upset to even think about that.
…But, Megan is sleeping peacefully, and she would hate to wake her up, having to be immediately interrogated after getting her nap interrupted. Yoonchae sighs and ultimately decides to let her catch up on rest. She hasn’t been able to sleep well either unless Yoonchae is in proximity. She hesitantly turns off the light and closes the door. Today, she’ll just let it go for now.
Megan and I were in a long-term relationship, Yoonchae confirms to herself.