Chapter Text
Saku was holding onto that bag like his soul was inside it. His knuckles bared themselves pale clutching onto its handles, trying his best not to destabilize it and its goods. There was a lot of self-inflicted pressure for Saku to get over if he wanted to do this correctly, but he figured he could at least start with the bag.
It didn't carry anything particularly special, just half a dozen donuts.
That was more than enough to make this feel 'real' to him.
I can't ruin them.
The walk from the train station to the café was anxiety-inducing on another level for poor Saku. He couldn't afford to accidentally jumble up or otherwise mess with his cargo.
The donuts were a surprise for Subaru, after all.
I can’t mess this up.
He finally realised what Subaru’s words truly meant at the beach. Throughout his experience on being her ‘test dummy’, he really thought that this is only her solution to be more comfortable around men.
While it originally is, he didn’t catch the fact that she has fallen deep into him. Her genuine tears, her messed up face…
She was truly honest about this.
“You’re not my test dummy anymore.”
I’m sorry that took so long.
But don’t worry, I figured it out.
I hope you can tell me that there’s more that I can be than just a ‘test dummy’ to you.
I know you wanted more… than that.
The café loomed over him, painting him in dreadful shade. This was an important café for Saku and Subaru. He could recall the comforting chime of the doorbell as their first real day out together began, the faint smell of coffee grounds as he read a passage of his book over and over again, even the way the sun filtered through the window panes, catching slightly on Subaru's features.
And so, despite the worries in his heart, he pushed the door open to the familiar chime of the café's doorbell.
Saku looked around. He didn’t take long to find Subaru already seated at her usual spot, seemingly lost in thought. It was a bit faint, but he swore her eyes had a dull swathe beneath them, as if she were covering up eyebags with makeup. If he would have to guess, she might be thinking about their last time they met on the beach.
That must’ve hurt her alot.
I’m so stupid.
I can't keep doing this to her.
I need to make it right for her.
It’s time to hear what he had to say…
Honestly, it was a bit shocking when he said he felt like telling me so soon. I really thought he'd need more time.
Glad he figured it out sooner. You guys make me feel anxious.
Maybe it would've been easier if you lent me some help.
I could feel my eyes burning.
Sorry about that. It's just… what if he spent all that time just to reject me? What if he doesn't actually like us back?
You shouldn't let those sorts of things dictate your entire demeanor around him, you know. It's already awkward enough that we've confessed. I don't want to know how much weirder it would be if he went through all this trouble just to reject you. From the way I see it, there’s zero chance he’ll do so.
You might have a point. Let's just… try to be normal today. Whatever that looks like. Deal?
Let's do our best.
Oh, that's the doorbell.
That’s him.
Good luck, Subaru-chan.
"Hey," Saku waved, setting the box down with a gentle thud.
"Hey."
“…”
“…”
Awkward silence.
“S-sorry.”
"It's fine," Subaru said, her voice fragile. "I know I was a little forward the other day."
Saku took a deep breath, trying desperately to reach out to the words he needed.
"I… got you donuts."
Subaru sighed. "Thank you. I appreciate it."
The box sat on Saku's side of the table, entirely untouched.
"Can I… be honest, Hoshina-san?"
"Of course," Subaru replied. "Please be honest with me." I don't know if I could handle it if you weren't.
“First off…”
“I’m sorry.”
“I was so stupid back then at the beach.”
"Truth be told, I don't think I ever would've been prepared to hear those words, but that's no reason for me to behave the way I did. I didn't think I'd hear something like that from you. I guess I was wrong to assume, though. I wish I could slap myself for it."
“I mean… I hurt you. It felt awful from me too, having to see you cry like that in front of me.”
"So I just… really want to say sorry. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."
Saku did his closest attempt at a bow sitting in one of the cafe's seats.
"…I accept your apology," Subaru vowed. "It really wasn't your fault, though. I shouldn't have put you on the spot like that."
"I'm sorry for making you cry like that," Saku apologized once more.
Subaru looked at Saku through her peripheral vision, a thin yet noticeable smile forming along the edges of her lips. "It was a bit nicer than usual. Your shoulders felt good to cry on."
Saku was a bit taken aback. "That’s one hell of a compliment…”
“Hehe, not expecting that, did you?”
“Well, at least I’m relieved knowing that you have shoulders to cry on.
"That aside, there's… more I want to talk about."
"Honestly, I wasn't always this… dense."
"I'm not sure exactly when it started, but I guess I just can't really keep my mind off from you."
"Maybe it was when we first met? Maybe it was after we made up? Maybe it was after the T University mock exams? I don't know exactly. It's all sort of blurry in my head at this point."
“But what I do know is that you’re stuck in my mind. Always there, like a priceless piece of art.”
“That… might be why I started being so wary of you. Worrying that I might break the ‘painting’. I have unintentionally hurt people before, but you might be the one that I don’t want to hurt the most.”
"Guess I should've known I was just using the 'painting' as a facade."
"The truth is, I know how I feel about you is way more than how I should've felt at the time. It's been that way since forever now."
“And I didn’t express how I felt because I’m afraid of hurting you.”
“Turns out, it was the opposite. Kind of funny how that works out, no?”
"But now's not the time for that."
“Now’s the time that I give you my heart.”
…
Saku took a deep breath and stood up.
“I love you, I really do. So much, it's almost pathetic.”
“I can’t believe it took so long for me to actually figure this out. I mean, the whole 'test dummy' thing was probably really obvious. I was just being an idiot.”
“I guess… it’s actually safe for me to say what I want now.”
“I want you, Subaru-san," he confessed, her first name flowing effortlessly from his lips. "You're the greatest woman I've ever met.”
“Will you go out with me?”
It was like a dam being taken down.
Hoshina Subaru immediately broke into tears.
Not tears of sadness, mind you.
They were tears of euphoria. Of release.
"It'd be my pleasure, Saku-kun."
“I love you too.”
All the pressure has been released.
Natsusawa Saku has had his heart beat faster a lot over the years, courtesy of his unrequited crush.
But it isn’t unrequited. It's real now.
His heart felt warmer than it had ever been before.
"Then… I suppose that makes me your boyfriend?"
“Yeah. And that also makes me your girlfriend.”
"I like that."
“I love that.”
“I love you.”