Chapter Text
Hyunjin was sitting in his office, elbows on table face burried in his palms like he is trying to disappear into them.
The room around felt very blue- not the colour. It's the feeling like an abandoned playground where even ghost don't bother haunting. There's probably one or two floating around still.
Hyunjin would like to ask them to take him to the afterlife with them. It didn't feel like living is worth it anymore.
Everytime he closed his eyes, he could see Felix's face. That look of betrayal. His voice still ringing in his ears- all the accusations settling between them and he? He couldn't even open his mouth.
Not like he had something to say
The door opened loudly without any knocking
“Yo, what did you do now? ”
A voice, Lee Minho's voice called out from the door
“Felix hates me” Hyunjin muttered without looking up
“Took him long enough”
“Hyung!”
Minho spinned the chair once before sitting backwards on it. He didn't look worried or sad, if anything he looked entertained.
Lee Minho, alpha, was a business partner to Hwang Architects as well as a friend to Hyunjin, unfortunately.
He is not a bad person, if someone is struggling around him he would help it's just- he will laugh at them first before helping.
And despite all the teasing, when things go wrong he is still the first person Hyunjin will go to. So when Hyunjin called sounding like he is having a stroke Minho didn't waste any time.
“So what happened exactly?” Minho asked casually
Hyunjin sighed finally looking up, his eyes red and puffy
“He- he found out ”
“Found out what?”
“That I... Knew him before...”
“Oh.”
“And he also... saw the photos i took of him”
“Did he say something?”
Hyunjin shook his head, “Nothing much he just - he just left”
Minho was silent for a few seconds, a lazy smirk appeared on his face
“Yeah.... You are fucked”
_________
The first time Hyunjin saw Felix it was from across a corridor far away from him. But the distance didn't matter, even from afar Hyunjin could tell that was the most beautiful human being to ever grace the earth.
It was summer, around two years ago. Hyunjin had officially joined his father's company, it was a great achievement of his life- joining the company, becoming a member of the board of directors.
And to welcome him, his father decided to throw a party.
“You can plan it however you like” his father had said
“Really!? Whatever i want?”
“ It's your night I want you enjoy. You have earned it my son”
So Hyunjin did what anyone else would do and went to the best luxury event planning company. If he is doing it might as well do it correctly
A beta named Jeongin got assigned to him. He was good, polite and efficient, explaining every details with patient even when Hyunjin looked half asleep.
He wasn't disinterested he just- didn't know what to show interest in.
just as his eyes were becoming heavy and mind almost drifting off to sleep- somewhere in the middle of Jeongin explaining something about lighting arrangements, the door shifted slightly. Enough to notice the movements behind it.
That's when he saw him. Standing with hands in his pocket.
It was just a stranger, a beautiful stranger but a stranger nonetheless, standing far away from Hyunjin. It shouldn't matter he shouldn't care about whoever that was and yet- yet he found himself sitting on the same chair the very next day eyes drifting towards the corridor more than he would like to admit.
And his wish was fulfilled, when the beautiful stranger from yesterday walked passed him.
“A omega” Hyunjin's brain supplied. It was not the scent, there no scent. Probably using a blocker like most people in the building. And still Hyunjin could tell
“Sir?” Jeongin's voice snapped him out of his trance
“Yeah- sorry. What were you saying?”
Jeongin followed his line of sight and grinned like he was waiting
“Oh that's Felix”
‘Felix’ Hyunjin repeated in his head
“You will probably see him a lot during event, he handles most of the execution. He one of our bests”
Hyunjin nodded storing the information away. Something settling deep inside him and it made him come back- again. Then again.
Each time with a new complain, ‘the theme feels dull’ ‘we need to change the flowers’ ’I don't like the centerpiece’. They were just cheap excuses for him to keep coming back.
And everytime, Jeongin stepped away he would find himself beelining Felix's office looking through the glass windows. He started waiting near the elevators pretending to be on his phone- all just for one glimpse of the most beautiful omega he has ever seen.
Even after the preparations started Hyunjin lingered at the back, always near Felix just one step behind.
It was not suppose to happen, he didn't mean to click a picture of Felix. He took out his phone to take a photo of the centerpiece and Felix just stepped into the frame- all serious and professional with his hair tied up.
He shouldn't have kept it, he should have deleted it immediately but- he couldn't. He would never see Felix after the event. One picture as a memory won't harm anyone.
If only it was just one picture.
Once you do something you are not supposed to- it's hard to stop. And that one picture suddenly became ten then twenty.....Each time Hyunjin told himself it will be the last one then he would visit the office again- visit the cafe he overhead Felix talking about, wait in the garage with his phone in hand.
He stopped after the event was done. Only because he had no excuse of seeing Felix again. He could not longer stride into the building asking for a revision or ‘this theme is not quite right’. There was no more corridors to linger, no more doors to pause outside, Felix eventually slipped back into the life where Hyunjin didn't belong. And Hyunjin? He adjusted. he made fake social media accounts just to look at Felix, to get little glimpse of his life. It was not the same but it was still something.
And that was enough
He didn't expect to come across Felix ever again, never expected his dreams of staying beside Felix will ever come true. But when on a random Saturday after two whole years he found Felix again, when Felix approached him on his own drunk out of his mind and begging Hyunjin to take him- there was no way Hyunjin could control himself.
Everything else that followed was truly never his intention. It was an accident but if Hyunjin gets a chance to go back in time...he will do it again.
Even when he is sitting like a ghost right now, the time he got to spend with Felix- he would not trade it for anything else in the world.
Minho let out a long sigh after Hyunjin told everything that happened the night before
“Give him some time first, then explain everything clearly. You are mated. It's not like you two can stay away forever ”
“I hope he listens...” Hyunjin whispered, voice heavy
__________
Felix laid curled on Jisung’s bed, the blanket pulled so tightly around him it looked like a cocoon. He hadn’t really moved in the past two days, just shifted from one corner of the bed to the other, from sitting to lying down, then back again. The room felt small, quiet in a way that pressed against his ears.
Jisung had been there, in and out, careful, gentle… kind enough to just let him stay without without asking anything
Felix was grateful for that.
Because he didn’t know where to begin.
Every time he closed his eyes, it all came back— not just what happened that night, but everything before it. Every look, every touch, every moment that now refused to sit still in his memory. It twisted, changed shape, demanded to be seen differently.
’It didn’t feel new for him’
That was the first thought that refused to leave him alone.
Nothing about Hyunjin had felt like it was new to him. Not the way he looked at him, not the way he held him, not even the way he said his name.
It had all felt… familiar. Too familiar. Like something that had already existed for Hyunjin long before Felix became aware of it.
And now- now he knew why
Felix pulled the blanket tighter around himself, pressing his face into it as if it could block the thoughts out.
’Was it really that bad?’
The question slipped in quietly, almost gently
Hyunjin had known him before. Watched him. Taken pictures. Followed him to places he wasn’t supposed to be. That should have been enough for anyone to call it wrong, disturbing, something to run from.
So why didn’t it feel like that?
“He never…” Felix whispered to himself, voice barely there
“He never did anything to me…”
Not once. Not then. Not even now.
His chest tightened.
Then why didn’t he say anything?
Why didn’t he defend himself?
Felix’s thoughts tripped over each other, faster now, messier.
Did he follow me that night too?
Was it planned?
Did he already know-?
His breath hitched.
The bite.
Felix’s fingers curled into the blanket.
Was he sober when he did it?
The question landed heavy, sharp enough to make his stomach twist. But just as quickly, something inside him pushed back
No.
Hyunjin hadn’t looked in control. He had been shaking, barely holding himself together, like he was the one breaking apart. Felix remembered that, he remembered somewhere along the time he was struggling with the bond. He felt that.
So what was the truth?
The thoughts wouldn’t stop. They circled, collided, contradicted each other until Felix didn’t know which one was his anymore.
He dragged a hand through his hair, breathing uneven.
“I don’t- I don’t understand…” he muttered, more to the silence than anything else.
A soft creak broke through the room. The bed dipped slightly.
Felix didn’t look up, he didn't need to
It was Jisung.
“I was trying not to ask” Jisung said quietly, his voice careful, like he was stepping on thin ice
“I thought… maybe you needed time.”
Felix’s grip on the blanket tightened.
“But it’s been two days” Jisung continued, softer now
“And you’re not getting better. You’re just… sinking.”
That made something in Felix’s chest crack.
Jisung shifted closer, his hand hovering for a second before resting lightly on Felix’s shoulder.
“I want to help you” he said
“But I can’t if you don’t tell me what happened
Please, Felix… look at yourself. You don’t like yourself like this. You’re worse than before.”
The words hit harder than Felix expected.
Worse than before.
His vision blurred before he even realized it.
“I-” His voice broke immediately, and that was all it took.
Everything he had been holding in for two days collapsed at once.
Felix bent forward, the blanket slipping as his shoulders shook, quiet sobs turning into something uncontrollable. It hurt his chest, his throat, even his head as if all the emotions he had been forcing down were clawing their way out at once.
“I thought” he tried, gasping between breaths “I thought it was real…”
Jisung didn’t interrupt. He just pulled him closer.
“I was happy” Felix continued, words spilling, messy and broken
“I was- I was so comfortable, Sungie… I didn’t have to think, I didn’t have to doubt anything. I just-” his voice cracked again “I just felt okay for the first time”
His fingers clenched into Jisung’s shirt.
“I thought… maybe this is it. Maybe this is where I stay. Maybe this is what my life is going to be from now…”
The future he had quietly built in his head felt so far away now it almost didn’t seem real.
“And now I don’t know anything anymore,” he whispered, face wet with tears
“I don’t know what was real and what wasn’t”
Jisung’s arms tightened around him
“You’re in love” he said softly.
Felix froze
The words settled into him slowly, heavily.
“You didn’t expect it” Jisung continued, brushing a hand through his hair
“You didn’t even realize it was happening. So now everything feels worse than it is.”
Felix let out a shaky breath, eyes still wet.
“What do I do…?” he asked, almost helplessly
“I- I want to see him. I want to ask him why… I want to-”
His voice muffled as he burried himself deeper into Jisung's chest
“I want him to hold me again… I want his scent… I-”
He couldn't finish as he broke into more sobbing. Jisung just held him tight, his hand moving slowly over Felix’s back.
“Then talk to him” he said quietly. “Not like this… not when you’re hurting this much. But when you can breathe again.
We can’t really do anything else” he added, more carefully now “Not when you’re… mated.”
Felix closed his eyes.
Everything just felt terrifying.
__________
The days passed quietly. Not the peaceful quiet just the kind where nothing really changes.
Felix stayed at Jisung’s place. He helped around the café sometimes, mostly small things. Refilling jars, wiping tables, handing drinks when it got busy. The routine helped a little. It kept him a little busy.
He asked for a vacation and Chan was more than happy to grant it. He was worried but didn't push him either. So is Jisung. After that night he only checked in on his health lightly squeezing Felix’s shoulder, a soft “you okay?” that didn’t require a real answer.
Most of the time Felix just nodded.
The storm from those first two days had faded, but was replaced by more emptiness, a hollow feeling sitting somewhere deep in his chest.
The bond didn’t ache the way it had at first, but still hurt sometimes.
Hyunjin hadn’t contacted him.
Felix noticed that more than he expected.
A small part of him had been waiting for it- a call, a messages, maybe a desperate knocking on Jisung’s door. But none of that happened. The silence stretched day after day until Felix realized Hyunjin was doing exactly what he wanted
When he left that day he was serious about not wanting to see Hyunjin ever again but as time passed the absence of Hyunjin made him feel heavier
It was strange. It was terrifying
Exactly two weeks after Felix left, his phone buzzed while he was sitting alone in the café after closing.
Jisung had already gone upstairs.
Felix almost ignored it. But when he looked down and saw Hyunjin’s name on the screen, his hand froze.
For a moment he just stared at it.
It was not a call. A message.
Long enough that the preview cut off halfway through.
Felix swallowed slowly before opening it.
[Felix.
I’m not sending this to pressure you. You don’t have to answer me. I just thought you deserved the truth]
Felix’s fingers tightened slightly around the phone.
In the Hyunjin explained everything.
About the event. About seeing Felix across the corridor for the first time. About how it started with excuses, complaints about flowers and centerpieces that didn’t actually matter.
Felix could almost see it as he read.
Hyunjin standing there pretending to care about decorations while his eyes kept drifting toward him
The message didn’t hide anything.
Hyunjin admitted to the pictures. The waiting in the garage. The café visits. Even the fake social media account.
He was not defensive. Didn't give any excuses.
The message just showed his quiet guilt
[I know how it looks. I know why it scared you. But I never planned to meet you. I never planned for any of this.]
The message continued, About the club.
About how shocked Hyunjin had been when Felix approached him first.
[I should have told you then. I should have told you everything the moment I woke up that morning but I couldn't I was selfish I was afraid you'd hate me.
Still look what happened, i couldn't stop you from hating me in the end]
Felix’s throat tightened slightly.
The final part of the message was shorter.
[I’m sorry. I was wrong for the photos and the past. I’m sorry for staying silent when you asked me questions. You deserved answers and I froze.
But trust me when I say I love you Felix the days spend with you are genuinely the best days of my life
I am writing everything because I am afraid you don't want to hear my voice. I won’t contact you again if you don't want me to
Take all the time you need.
If you decide you never want to see me again, I’ll respect that.
I just needed you to know the truth]
Felix stared at the screen long after the message ended.
He didn’t reply.
Not that night.
Not the next day either.
He didn't know what to say, what to think. So he didn't
Life continued in the same quiet rhythm. Mornings at the café, afternoons drifting by, evenings spent staring at nothing in particular.
But something had shifted.
Hyunjin’s words sat in the back of Felix’s mind, replaying over and over again.
Not the stalking or the photos.
The honesty.
The way he hadn’t tried to justify himself.
And just like that another two weeks passed. He never replied, never told Jisung or Chan about it either. But he didn't forget it.
One evening, Felix found himself standing outside the café after closing, the street unusually calm around him.
He looked down at his phone again.
Hyunjin’s message was still there.
Still unanswered.
Felix exhaled slowly, running a hand through his hair.
“I can’t just leave it like this” he murmured to himself.
The thought had been growing quietly for days, but now it felt clear, He didn’t know what the future looked like anymore, didn’t even know if he could forgive Hyunjin.
But one thing was certain.
He needed to hear the answers himself.
Felix straightened slightly, the decision settling in his chest with surprising calm.
“I need closure at least”
And for the first time in weeks, Felix replied in their chat
[Meet me at the cafe in one hour. U know which one]
__________
After closing the cafe felt completely different. dim lights, empty tables, chairs pushed in neatly like the whole room had gone to sleep. Outside the windows the streetlights glowed faintly, reflecting against the glass.
Felix sat at one of the tables near the back, fingers loosely wrapped around a cup of coffee that had long gone cold.
Upstairs, he knew Jisung was there. When Hyunjin walked in earlier, Jisung had seen him.
But hadn’t said anything didn’t come downstairs.
He just quietly disappeared, leaving the two of them alone.
Hyunjin stood near the entrance for a moment before slowly walking over. When Felix finally looked up at him, something in his chest twisted.
Hyunjin looked… bad.
Worse than Felix expected.
His hair was messy like he was running his hands through it all day. His eyes were red, dark circles sat under his eyes, and his shoulders looked heavier somehow, like something had been weighing on them for days.
Felix suddenly remembered the last time he saw him.
Water dripping from his hair.
Standing in the bedroom. Not defending himself as Felix screams at him
The silence between them stretched until it almost became unbearable.
Felix broke it first.
“I read the message” he said quietly, eyes fixed on the table
“I believe you but- I want to know… would you have ever told me?”
Hyunjin didn’t answer immediately. He stared at Felix for a long second, something complicated flickering across his face.
“Maybe” he said finally
“Maybe not. Having you beside me was like a dream to me. I was afraid it would shatter any moment”
His fingers curled slightly against the edge of the table.
“I didn't want you to hate me… even if I deserved it.”
Felix frowned faintly
“You- I don’t hate you” he admitted, voice uncertain
“Not really. I’m just… I don’t know.”
His words faltered.
“You were the perfect alpha ever but then-”
Hyunjin let out a quiet laugh
“I’m glad you thought that” he said softly “Glad I made that illusion.”
Felix’s fingers tightened around the cup in front of him.
For a moment he just stared down into the dark liquid before asking the question that had been sitting in his chest since that night.
“If- if that day I didn’t approach you…” his voice dropped “Would you have kept watching?”
“Yes” Hyunjin didn’t hesitate
Felix’s breath caught.
“I never planned on actually approaching you” Hyunjin continued, his gaze dropping to the table between them “Ever”
“I know what I did was wrong. Disgusting even. I never wanted you to know me like that”
Felix swallowed.
“Do you regret it?”
“The photos? Me following you?” he said “Yes. Yes I do regret it.”
His voice was steady, but something tight flickered behind it.
“If I didn’t… I could have become the alpha you liked. The one you deserved.”
Felix’s grip on the cup tightened.
“And… and the bite?”
For the first time, Hyunjin's eyes met Felix’s directly
“It was the only reason I got to sleep beside you.”
A faint, almost sad smile touched his lips.
“I’m sorry. I don’t regret it.”
Felix looked down again, fingers pressing harder into the cup as if grounding himself.
The silence returned, heavier this time.
“I need some time.” he spoke again
His voice was calm, but the weight behind it was clear.
“I don’t know for what… but I need some time away from you to think.”
Hyunjin nodded immediately.
“You can have all the time you need.”
He stood slowly, like he didn’t want to push the moment further than Felix allowed.
“I’ll wait.”
A small breath escaped him
“I’ll be selfish again and hope you forgive me.”
He turned, ready to leave.
But before he could take more than a step, Felix’s voice stopped him.
“Hyunjin.”
He turned back.
Felix hesitated for a second before speaking again.
“…Can I have a hug?”
Something flickered across Hyunjin’s face.
Felix noticed
Surprise? Relief? Something else? He is not sure but when Felix stood up and stepped into his arms, Hyunjin froze for half a second before finally wrapping his arms around him.
The hug was tight.
Like Hyunjin was trying to memorize the feeling.
Felix could feel the tension in his body, the way his hands pressed into the back of Felix’s jacket like he was afraid if he loosened his grip even slightly, Felix would disappear again.
Neither of them moved, holding each other like this might be the last time they will ever be allowed to.
____________
Three months passed slowly, like the world itself had forgotten how to move forward.
For Hyunjin, the days blurred into one long stretch of work.
If he wasn’t in meetings, he was sketching.
If he wasn’t sketching, he was preparing documents for the next project
If he wasn’t doing either, he was staring blankly out the window
He laughed less now.
Smiled less.
Spoke less.
Whenever Minho or Changbin mentioned Felix even accidentally, Hyunjin’s shoulders stiffened, before he forced a smile and changed the subject.
He had thrown himself so deeply into work that even sleep felt like wasted time.
But the truth was simpler than that.
When he stopped moving…the room became quiet
The silence was unbearable.
Because the silence reminded him that Felix wasn’t there anymore.
Felix’s life, on the other hand, was slowly learning how to breathe again.
At first, everything had felt empty.
He avoided certain streets.
Certain cafés.
Certain songs.
Anything that reminded him too much of Hyunjin.
For weeks he convinced himself he was angry.
Angry that Hyunjin had hidden things.
Angry that their bond had made everything so complicated.
Angry that loving him had hurt this much.
But anger was easier than the truth.
Because the truth was that Felix missed him.
Not just because of the bond.
Not just the pull between them.
He really missed Hyunjin.
The way he talked too much when he was nervous. The way he stared at Felix like he was the most fascinating person in the room. The quiet comfort of sitting beside him without needing to say anything.
Little by little, Felix began letting himself remember those things without pushing them away.
And that scared him.
Because it meant something he hadn’t wanted to admit before.
What he felt for Hyunjin had never just been the bond.
It had always been love.
Still, forgiveness don’t come easily.
Felix had spent weeks going back and forth inside his own head.
Some days he thought about calling.
Other days he convinced himself that reopening the wound would only hurt them both again.
But every time he imagined a future where Hyunjin wasn’t in it at all…
Something inside his chest twisted painfully.
Three months was a long time, too long to keep pretending he didn’t care.
The afternoon Felix finally went to see Hyunjin, the sky was quiet and pale. His hands were cold even though the weather wasn’t.
In one hand he held a single daisy.
Simple and white. A small symbol of new beginnings.
Felix stared at Hyunjin’s door for a long moment before knocking.
Hyunjin froze the moment he saw Felix
He looked thinner somehow. Tired.
But the moment his eyes landed on Felix, the world seemed to stop.
“Felix…?”
His voice sounded fragile, like he wasn’t sure this was real.
Felix swallowed.
For a moment neither of them spoke.
Then Felix slowly held out the flower.
Hyunjin stared at it and his eyes started to water. Not dramatically. Just quietly. Like something inside him had cracked open.
“You came,” Hyunjin whispered.
Felix let out a shaky breath.
“I wasn’t sure if I should”
Hyunjin stepped aside immediately, almost instinctively
“Please… come in.”
Felix walked inside the familiar house.
It still smelled like coffee and spice. It smelled like Hyunjin.
“I am still angry” Felix admitted softly
Hyunjin nodded immediately.
“I understand”
“I don’t forgive you completely yet.”
“I understand” Hyunjin repeated.
There was no defensiveness in his voice. Only honesty.
Felix’s fingers tightened slightly around the daisy before he placed it gently on the table
“But…” Felix continued quietly “I also realized something.”
Hyunjin looked at him carefully
“What?”
“If I walk away from the bond.... I will be walking away from you too”
Hyunjin’s breath caught in his throat
“And I… don’t want a life where you’re not in it”
The words hung in the air
Hyunjin stepped closer, cautiously, like Felix might disappear if he moved too fast.
“I’ll spend as long as it takes earning your forgiveness” he said quietly.
“I don’t care how long”
Felix’s chest tightened.
“You might be waiting a while”
“That’s okay” Hyunjin smiled faintly.
“I’m just happy you’re back...”
That was the moment Felix’s resolve finally cracked.
He stepped forward and kissed him.
It wasn’t rushed or desperate. Just soft. Careful like they were both afraid to break the fragile thing they were rebuilding.
When they pulled apart, Hyunjin’s eyes were shining
“Does this mean…” he started.
Felix huffed softly.
“It means we’re trying again”
Hyunjin looked like someone had just handed him the world.
“This time” Felix added, poking his chest lightly “no hiding things.”
“Never again” Hyunjin promised immediately.
Felix studied his face for a moment then smiled a little.
“better keep that in mind”
Hyunjin pulled him into a tight hug, relief flooding through him, it almost made his knees weak.
Felix didn’t pull away.
Three months hadn’t erased the hurt.
But it hadn’t erased the love either.
And sometimes… love deserved another beginning