Chapter Text
**Thame's POV**
A plastic bottle is pushed against his mouth, the liquid smashing against his sealed lips. Thame opens his eyes slowly. His vision is assaulted by the bright artificial light bouncing on the surrounding walls.
“Come on. Drink a little, buddy.” An uneasy voice he barely recognized came to his ears.
Thame blinks repeatedly to adjust his eyes to the light. They focus on his savior. The most annoying of all his bandmates, Jun.
Knowing it’s a trustworthy person, he finally accepts to open his mouth and let the water quench the dryness of his throat. He slowly raises his hand to take the bottle from Jun’s, sitting back up under his bandmate’s worried eyes.
He finished the bottle in one go. Jun waited for him to be done before starting his questioning.
“So? Who caused the crisis this time? You or them?”
Thame tries to formulate an answer right away, not linking the accusation hiding behind Jun’s words. But his vocal cords aren’t cooperating, leading to a coughing fit.
Jun taps his friend’s back. “Do you want me to bring you another bottle? Are you having another one?”
Thame shaking his hand while fighting his own body. “No-o.” Coughing some more. “I’m f-fine. It’s j-just the afterma-ath.” He tries with difficulty to explain himself.
A tight smile appears on Jun’s face. The young idol isn’t convinced.
“I just got surprised by the intensity of this crisis, that’s all. Nothing to worry about, Jun.” Thame’s voice is still rough, but at least he can make a complete sentence without his throat gnawing at him.
“It’s my right to be worried when I chance upon the main vocalist of my band unconscious in a fire exit. What will MARS do if you completely lose your voice one day, hum?” Jun says, bluntly.
Right, this superficial, flirty boy could only be worried about the future of the band, tightly linked to the future of his personnel carrier. Is everyone at ONER the same kind of egoistic person?
Thame gets back on his feet, holding on to the wall for help, refusing to let Jun touch him again. “Thank you for your help. My voice is fine, really. I can still reach higher notes than you, thank you very much.”
Jun rolls his eyes at that comment. “There is enough of one grumpy cat unable to take criticism in this band, please. I was actually searching for Dylan when I found you…”
“Well, go search for him. I’m fine, see you tomorrow.” Thame takes two shaking steps to reach the door. However, instead of pulling the handle to get out of the fire exit, he lets his forehead rest on the door. He tries to gain back enough energy to put on a mask and hide his condition from the people he will cross paths with after leaving this secured place.
Jun makes a disapproving ‘tsk’ sound before sliding his bandmate’s right arm on his shoulders. “Let’s get to the archives, I think we have things to talk about. Sorry, we have to take the stairs. We can’t let people see you like that.”
“The archives?” Thame simply asks dumstruck.
“Yeah,it’s my napping spot. No one will find us there.”
“But… Dylan…”
“Come on, he is a grown-up. He can take care of himself. And right now, you, you can’t.” With that, Jun half carries Thame to the stairs going down. “Let’s go slowly, no need to break a bone in this state.”
I need your eyes
[J'ai juste besoin de tes yeux]
Their spark in the night
[De leur éclat dans la nuit]
You know maybe I won't live long
[Tu sais j'finirai p't'être pas vieux]
But together we'll make noise
[Mais ensemble on fera du bruit]
**Jun's POV**
Jun drops Thame on a pile of cushions he had gradually brought to the place, stealing them from break rooms or filming sets, one nap at a time. The weak boy makes himself comfortable, adjusting the cushions to support him in a sitting-up position. He is still looking at Jun as if the other is a potential threat trying to get through him by acting falsely caring.
Jun does what he does best, ignoring the unpleasantness and putting the attention on another triggering point. He leans on a shelf next to his main vocalist and stares back at him with nonchalance. “So? Are we going to talk about what just happened? Or am I supposed to forget what I saw?”
Thame breaks their eye contact, turning his head and giving his answer to the wall. “There is nothing to talk about. Just another soulmate crisis that I handled badly. Thank you for your help, now leave me alone.”
Jun shakes his head. Thame may have chosen to isolate himself from the rest of them since their debut, but the brown head still remembers their old friendship. This is ridiculous how Thame could be this predictable still now when he has been trying to change himself for months now.
So Jun squats next to his former best friend with a knowing smile. “So what you are saying is that what you have just experienced is a normal step 1 soulmate crisis and that I shouldn’t worry about it?”
Thame turns his head back at him right as the words ‘step 1’ leave Jun’s lips. “I am at step 1. And you shouldn’t worry because that’s my business, not yours.”
“I may not have soulmatism, but I’m not stupid, I have eyes. I never saw a step 1 have such a violent reaction to something happening to their soulmate, except if they are on step 2 or 3.” Jun counterattacks. “Did Pemika make you sign a contract saying you shouldn’t pass another step, so now you try to hide it?” He doesn’t let the concerned party answer. “I knew she was evil, but this is another step… no joke intended.” He smiles mischievously.
Thames eyebrows knitted even more than before. “I am at step 1.” He justifies himself. Seeing his bandmate only raising his eyebrows, not convinced, he continues. “What happened is half their pain, half my panic. I was so angry when I met Pemika's new pawn I didn’t see the signs. Usually I can prepare myself for a crisis because the pain is gradual. But today it took me by surprise, in front of random ONERs workers, and my panic fed on the pain, or maybe the other way around. I don’t really know. Everything got mixed up. That’s why the symptoms got tenfold." Thame’s eyes search around the archives room’s floor for something to anchor him as the memory makes his throat tight again.
Jun places his right hand on the other’s shoulder to bring him back to the present. Watery eyes meet his. He pulls his former best friend into his arms in a reassuring hug, his hand abandoning the shoulder for the top of the head.
“This is… so…hard.” Thame mumbles into his bandmate’s shoulder. “I’m so tired…”
If Jun is known for his flirty and annoying personality rather than his empathy, it’s totally because that’s how he wants to be perceived. He masks. He shields. But here, seeing his “used-to-be” friend breaking down in his arms while the last few months only drew them apart, sanitizing them slowly, something broke in him too.
Jun accepted their uncomfortable situation because he thought it was for the best for each of them. Yes, they were all sacrificing something in this. But if it was beneficial for their careers and futures, it was just a price to pay. Holding the shaky boy in his arms, he is starting to see through his own lies.
- Thame is promised a great future, MARS only being a springboard for his career. For that he unintentionally sold his soul, and with it, his soulmate’s. They became a mere marketing tool for ONER. Was it beneficial? Yes, it was. Thame is the most popular among them. His solo fanbase is strong enough to support him through any trouble coming his way, be it him forgetting lyrics on stage or MARS disbanding. Was it worth it? Jun thought it was, but he wasn’t so sure anymore.
- Pepper let the band leader position go to Thame when he has always been the more mature and competent among them. Yes, Thame is doing his best to deserve this title he never wanted. No, the band wouldn’t have made it this far if Pepper hadn’t been helping in his shadow. It wasn’t fair for either of them. That’s why Jun doesn’t hold it against him if he distances himself more and more from the band, accepting as many MC jobs as he is offered.
- Nano let Thame be put at the center of all their choreographies when he is clearly above them all in terms of dancing skills. The younger one is made to be on stage, his natural aura bringing the audience’s attention to him. So ONER made him more invisible song after song so he wouldn’t outshine their protégé. Nano is too nice, and maybe too naive. He let himself be put in the shadows without any fight.
This choice made one of the band’s detractors’ biggest arguments, being "this band has such easy dance moves, little kids can cover them for their next school show and do better than the og”. And Jun couldn’t refute this. He knows what acrobatic moves Nano can do as if it was just breathing to him. He had witnessed the younger member secretly training at somersaults and other figures that would have led anyone else directly to the hospital. He used to do it after the training hours, but he hadn’t for a few weeks now. The poor boy seems to have finally let his dream go and was actively searching for a new passion.
A true case of talent being murdered in the name of capitalism.
- Dylan may be the most complicated case among them. He is so secretive that even a good observer like Jun couldn’t clearly see through his mask of nonchalance. If he doesn’t have the inside of the rapper’s mind, he could still see his situation from a purely logical point of view, and even with his little information, it is still rational to understand why this one would distance himself the most from the rest of the band. It had always been clear that the gray-haired boy had never joined ONER out of passion for T-pop. His playlist is only composed of underground rap songs criticizing society, which clearly doesn’t align with working for one of the biggest companies in the entertainment industry. And this observation is based on the few lyrics Jun heard leaking from the other’s headphone when he was close enough.
Dylan spends most of his days writing and composing songs on his overused MacBook, but none of those songs ended up in MARS’ hands. Jun is almost sure he had seen some of the lyrics he had secretly spied on in the grumpy boy’s notebook in other ONER artists’ mouths, but never was Dylan credited on them. The usually always complaining boy never mentioned it, so either Jun hallucinated this or he was fine with it. Which doesn’t sit right in Jun’s opinion, it just doesn’t sound like a reaction Dylan would have to the theft of his own creations.
This wasn’t the only illogical feature of Dylan in Jun’s mind. He just couldn’t understand the intensity of the rapper’s hatred for Thame’s condition. It seems like it gets worse each time their leader’s soulmate is mentioned. Like earlier with Po, Dylan just had to attack the poor soul just because he is going to play the role of Thame’s fake soulmate? Jun had thought it was just classical hatred against soulmates, which still doesn’t fit Dylan’s ‘society is wrong’ persona, but Thame and Dylan used to be close before the band’s debut. So now Jun is inclined to think that Dylan may have developed a crush on the soulmate boy. He has always been the first to openly criticize the grumpy boy, finding his reactions quite entertaining, but he had never qualified him to be an idiot. Their snob and creative lyricist being dumb enough to fall for someone who has soulmatism when at least ¾ of the population is free from this condition and has a free heart wasn’t in Jun’s bingo.
This introspection led him to rethink his own position in this complicated situation. If they had all sacrificed something in the process of religiously obeying Pemika, he must have too. He realizes almost instantly what has been yanking his heart for weeks. His own sacrifice manifests in seeing them building walls around themselves, witnessing their shared house losing its life, and not being able to reach them anymore. No one has lied as much as he lied to himself. No, he wasn’t fine with it. He does miss them, each one of them. He misses MARS.
Jun instinctively holds Thame tighter. This is meant to appease both of their hearts. “I’m sorry, Thame.”
The leader pushes Jun away carefully and analyzes his face as if to make sure of the other’s sincerity. “Why would you be sorry? This isn’t your doing.”
“I may not be the one behind our group’s fallout, but I didn’t really help to prevent it. I mean, clearly MARS has been dead for months now. We are a zombie band right now.” With this empty joke, Jun makes a zombie sound with a funny face to lighten the room’s atmosphere.
Thame’s facial expression doesn’t move, but he straightens up, increasing the distance between the two idols. “What the fuck are you on about, Jun? This isn’t funny.”
Jun makes a fake exasperated sigh. He is putting on the idiot member mask again. “I mean that MARS hasn’t been MARS for a long time now. Actually, maybe MARS was never meant to be MARS, just ‘Thame and the boys.’” He realized his poor choice of words when the words left his lips. He used the exact punchline Dylan used when he left the band house permanently. Well, maybe he isn’t playing the band’s idiot member anymore. He just became a truly stupid person while impersonating one…
We'll shout together
[On criera tous les deux]
In the shade of the rain
[À l'ombre de la pluie]
But before that I need to post my story before midnight
[Mais avant faut que je poste ma story ce soir avant minuit]
I let madness slide
[J'laisse filer la folie]
**Thame's POV**
The memory of Dylan throwing at him the notebook they used when they used to write songs together when the band was just debuting, this action followed by the rapper leaving definitively the band house, makes his heart sting more than it should have. The pages had opened in their fall to land on the front page, where MARS was supposed to be written in a stylished front. But now it had been covered by a black ink that had probably pierced through the layers of paper as it had within the heart of the members. Below the dark stain, Dylan had written the same words Jun had just pronounced: ‘Thame and the boys’. Dylan had been the first one to flee their safe zone.
Jun was present that day. Jun had witnessed the whole thing and comforted Thame after it. But today, Jun cruelly chose to throw those words at him again.
Thame distances himself from the other idol, slowly standing back on his feet, trying to contain his hurt-filled anger.
His former best friend must have felt the change in his behavior, because the other’s eyes went all round and pleading. “Thame… that’s not what I meant, you know it.” Jun tries to explain himself as he follows his leader's movement and stands back up too.
Thame keeps staring at him, trying to identify the emotion running through the other’s eyes to separate the truth from the false. His mind couldn't understand how Jun would have such a kind soul to be genuinely nice and lenient with him after everything that went down with the band. But he knows the man in front of him. He knows that this is just a character, that the real Jun hiding under it couldn’t hurt a fly even if he had to. That doesn’t mean that he would naively help him for free now that they weren’t friends anymore. This is obviously self-serving, either to keep the band still brokenly going or to appease a guilty feeling. Jun’s recent Freudian slip only supports this last theory.
Thame may have sold his soul and free will to ONER, he will try to keep the little dignity he has left. “I don’t need your pity, Jun.” he says with his dark eyes locked onto the other’s.
“Thame..” Jun tries to put his hand on his bandmate’s shoulder with compassion, but Thame dodges him. So, after a heavy sigh and rolling eyes, he changes his tactic. “Do you really think I would pity you right now? When we are the ones fighting against your shadow while you so easily shine over us? We are the ones who need pity, not you.” For some reason, those words sound less authentic coming from Jun’s mouth than the comforting ones earlier. “I just want to know what Pemika promised you, or what she may have against you, for you to choose to sacrifice the rest of the band this easily.” Jun accompanies his demand with raised eyebrows, challenging eyes, and defensively crossed arms.
The sting in Thame’s heart only increases as Jun gives fuel to his hurtful theory. If even Jun had lost hope in MARS’ future and was actively searching for a way out that wouldn’t hurt his career, then maybe this band is already dead and buried. ”Why would you need to know that? So you could adapt the character you’re playing to your advantage? Maybe try to be actually true to yourself for once, Jun… Or maybe you’re just scared nobody would accept the real you?” As those words are pronounced, they hurt both the culprit and the victim.
Thame is already regretting it, so he chose to storm out of the room without looking at Jun, making sure he wouldn’t make the situation worse than it already is. Against his better judgment, he stops in his tracks right after passing the door, unable to take any more steps.
He can hear Jun's saddened voice muffled by the slim door: “Just know that you have an ally here. But I won’t meddle if you don’t want me to. Expect no change in my behavior, if that’s what you want, Little Soul Prince.”
Thame hates this nickname fans gave him out of love and compassion, which became a nickname people use as a weapon in the industry. This last treason froze Thame into place. He doesn’t move when he hears Jun’s steps getting closer through the door. He doesn’t move either when a breath of air comes tickling his back when the panel opens to let the second person leave the archive room. He doesn’t move when his former best friend walks past him, shoulders colliding, in the elevator’s direction without looking back at him even once.
From the outside, he is just an immutable statue, when, from the inside, he is breaking down.
With the newfound silence in the empty corridor, Thame finally realizes the interrogation coming from his soulbond. He may not physically harm his soulmate as much as they do, but mentally he knows how guiltily his emotions can hurt the both of them.
“Sorry, soulmate, I’m surrounded by assholes.” He mumbles to himself, well aware he isn’t able to send clear messages to the other yet. He finally finds the strength to follow Jun’s path now that he disappeared inside the elevator.
For you I travel the world
[Pour toi je sillonne le monde]
Chasing your applause
[À la poursuite de tes "bravos"]
Asking myself constantly
[En me demandant toutes les secondes]
What if it's either too late or too soon
[Si il est trop tard ou bien trop tôt]
**Po's POV**
Po is currently slumped on his small two-seater sofa, feet dangling in the air, arms under his head as he stares into the space above him. The new hire is reflecting on this chaotic first day at ONER’s, strategically ignoring his phone vibrating on his stomach. There are just too many unanswered messages and phone calls from Baifern, which he can’t answer to.
He is contractually forbidden to tell her anything, and Po isn’t dumb enough to believe that he could dupe her, even on the phone. Also, she would automatically know he is lying as soon as the news of him being Thame’s soulmate is brought to the public. Baifern has known him since kindergarten. She knows he doesn’t have a soulmate. Even if she falls for it, which she absolutely won’t, his health clearly can’t justify Tahem’s recurrent crises.
Nevertheless, Po has to face reality sooner or later. His best friend isn’t known for giving up. If he doesn’t give her an answer before dawn, there is no doubt she would be at the door of his apartment before he had finished his morning coffee. Actually, him not answering after 2 consecutive failed phone calls is already quite suspicious, and he hasn’t even started to think about an excuse for this part yet.
As much as he wants to confide in his best friend, Pemika’s words, engraved in his brain, were not debatable: “Your close relative will be sent to an official contract for their silence, with a good pack of cash. As for your friends and acquaintances, you’ll just have to tell them that you just lied knowing your soulmate was famous and be as unsuspicious as possible.”
But ONER’s CEO’s outlook on this subject has a massive crack. She hadn’t suspected that Po’s best friend is closer to a sister than a friend to him and that she should be let into the secret, not be one of the fooled ones.
The other side of this issue is the fact that Baifern is a fan of MARS, and not just any fan. What can he do? Tell her and ask for her silence? She takes care of the band’s official fanclub! How could she keep being honest in her fandom while lying to protect him?
Po still hasn’t digested what a hell of a day he just had. His mind just couldn’t wrap around the idea of lying to his best friend, to his first and last true confidant of his lifetime. Each time his phone’s vibration echoes in his lower ribs, his heart breaks a little more. He feels like a traitor to their friendship. Although under duress, a traitor is still a traitor.
Po has a very supportive family, he has to admit. But apart from them, he only has Baifern. No big circle of friends. His second bestest friend must be the boy holding the food truck outside his uncle’s shop. A boy that still thinks he is dating Earn because Po never had the courage to tell him he only needs one sandwich now… But hey, at least he knows Po’s favorite topping.
All that to say that he couldn't afford losing her, not even to avoid getting locked up in Pemika’s basement. Po’s last dike of restraint collapses.
He took the still vibrating device to his right ear, ready to get assaulted by a tide of fierce questions, which he still didn’t have a full plan against. All he knows is if he lets her start talking first, he won’t be able to get a word in edgewise. That’s why he uses his last straw of staunchness to throw his defense at her right away as he drags the green button on the screen, connecting the call.
For you I travel the world
[Pour toi je sillonne le monde]
Chasing your applause
[À la poursuite de tes "bravos"]
Asking myself constantly
[En me demandant toutes les secondes]
Am I getting led up to the garden path?
[Est-ce que ça me mène en bateau ?]
**Jun's POV**
The band house is plunged into a dark and heavy atmosphere at the beginning of the night, frozen at the time of the fracture. This used-to-be home for them would have already become an urbex spot if it wasn’t for the cleaner coming once a week to dust and ventilate the place. Jun has guessed it was ONER’s doing, even if he finds it odd that he saw no cleaner in the first months they spent there as a united band. He had much more important things to think about than this small incoherence. As always, only one room will have the light on in the ghost house.
Tonight, in this very room, the lonely idol is staring at the message he just received from his manager. It’s a simple succession of numbers, making a generic Thai phone number. This shouldn’t be a big thing, but Jun has to admit that he didn’t think Mick would give him his demand this easily. And now he has no excuse to postpone the next step in his plan. He may already have the solution to save MARS in his hands.
He slowly taps on the underlined number with his thumb, still weighing the pros and cons in his head. A pop-up appears on the screen. He ignores the ‘add to contacts’ option to directly hit the ‘call’ button. As the first dial sound is heard, Jun looks up to the ceiling and breathes heavily to chase away the anxiety that has petrified him since he received the answer to his request and to fall back into his usual annoying flirty idol role.
Dial tone after dial tone, Jun’s hope flies away. Maybe it was just too late. After all, Jun has just met him. Maybe he was a severe case of an early bird, while himself has always been a pure night owl.
As he gives up, taking the phone away to end the unanswered call, it finally connects. Jun takes half a second to realize completely before getting his phone back to his ear.
“-it, Baifern? Can’t I just sleep after such a tiring day in this big capitalist company? You will get your answers tomorrow, when I will have gained back my energy. Can you just please st-” A grumpy voice rambles right away through the phone, only interrupted by Jun’s uncontrolled but endeared laugh.
“Wh-” The interlocutor tries to react, but Jun has already set off his ragebaiting mode.
“Wow, you’re not a fan for sure. Do you know how many people in this country would sell their firstborn to get a late-night call from Jun Junn Tangsakultham?!”
“Jun?!” is the only thing Po is able to answer right away.
“Yeah, Jun.” The idol brightly smiles so the energy could be felt through the device. “Don’t look too happy about it! If I had known you would be such a chatterbox, I would have booked a whole day for us to talk. But sadly my schedule is kinda booked right now, so this bedtime phone call will have to do.”
“Errr” Po’s shyness and anxiety are now dripping from his voice. He guesses that’s understandable when you found out a literal celebrity got their hand on your phone number to call you after the sun had set.
Jun can’t help but smirk at the older boy's cute antics. ONER really chose an adorable stray kitten to play the part of the famous idol’s helpless soulmate. They want to play progressive while using methods filled with clichés. Thankfully, Jun isn’t the kind to fall into them that easily, more like he learned how to use them to his benefit. That doesn’t mean he won’t try to play with his prey, as his typical part expects from him.
“Don't fall in love this fast, P’Po. It will ruin the fun.” Jun uses his coat with a honey voice that usually makes fans faint.
This time, he earns a heavy sigh from the other. Maybe Po wasn’t that easy to grasp after all, because this is not the reaction Jun was expecting from ONER’s puppy. Maybe their boss isn’t only using sheep clichés to get to them this time. Maybe they chose Po for his superficial naivety to lull the curiosity of the member while planting an agent of chaos into the already unstable group. Or maybe Jun really has developed paranoia after being under this psychotic company for too long.
If he wants things to go for the best, he will have to believe in the first impression he had of the guy. He shuts up the suspicious part of him and convinces himself that Po is indeed just an innocent pawn in Pemika’s plan. A pawn he could flip against her and save MARS. He just has to be careful while doing it, just in case.
“How did you get my number?” Po rightfully asks, pulling the idol out of his spiraling thoughts.
“Oh, P’Po, you’ll learn that when you’re attractive enough, you always get what you want.” On autopilot, as he has played this fuckboy role since his debut, Jun didn’t have to think things through before talking flirty anymore. Still, words taste foreign on his tongue. It’s just muscle memory for now, he still hasn’t lost who he truly is. He hopes that’s the same for the rest of MARS. He hopes that if it’s not too late for him, it’s not for the others either.
This seems to be too much for Po, though, because he makes another exceedingly loud sigh. “Well, if that’s all, I need to sleep now. Can I hang up?”
Well, Jun has to admit that even annoyed, Po still sounds cute, especially while asking for permission when he could simply hang up on him. No one at ONER would blame him for losing patience against Jun’s flirty attitude. “Wait.” Jun makes the lightest laugh possible. ”We need to talk about our shared problem.”
“Huh?” There, he got Po’s full attention back.
“I’m talking about a beautiful mess called Thame.”
Silence fills the line. Jun tries to analyze Po’s reaction to Thame’s mention, but he collides with a technical issue in his plan. He couldn't see Po’s face during the call. Yes, it’s obvious, and maybe he didn’t think it through enough before calling, but it’s too late now to switch to a video call. Po would only get suspicious.
“Oh? Not hanging up anymore?“ Jun teases.
”Tell me what you need to say.” All shyness has evaporated from Po’s voice.
Jun needs more time and, mostly, more assurance of Po’s innocence before going further. “Not here, sweetheart. Let’s meet at ONERS tomorrow after the rehearsal.”
Silence again, this time because Po is considering the proposition. “Where?” It may not be an approbation, but it’s clearly not a refusal.
Taking this as a good sign, Jun’s trained smile morphs into an honest one. “I’ll find you, don’t worry.” With that, the idol hangs up abruptly with the new hire. He now has to prepare his speech for tomorrow before going to sleep.
You see if I play this game
[Tu vois si je joue le jeu]
It's for your eyes to bury the hatchet
[C'est pour que tes yeux baissent les armes]
The time to relight the flam
[Le temps de rallumer la flamme]
If I play this game
[Si je joue le jeu]
It's for your eyes to dry their tears
[C'est pour que tes yeux sèchent leurs larmes]
At the risk to pay for it with my soul
[Quitte à le payer de mon âme]
**Po's POV**
Today is his very first day as a real employee at ONER. Po has been given a badge with his face and name on it, but at the place where should have been his position in the company is vaguely mentioned ‘part of MARS management team’, whatever that means. He is back in the training room, like yesterday, except for the part that today Mick isn’t here and the members are actively ignoring his presence. So, Po chose to sit in the farthest corner of the room, where he wouldn’t risk getting stomped on by one of those five balls of pure energy.
This has been going on for so long, Po ends up lost in his thoughts. He is still questioning Jun’s phone call, especially when he didn’t even greet him today. What could all this fussing be about? He doesn’t have the beginning of an idea about that.
His mind also drifted on the Baifern’s case for a while. Yesterday, sleep won against his better judgment. He ended up not calling her back, just turning his phone off and using his old mechanical alarm clock. This morning, he faced way too many notifications, going from concern to actual threats depending on the moment of the night it had been sent, all coming from the little woman. He feels guilty, understanding that his best friend most probably didn’t get an ounce of sleep that night because of him, while still being unable to say anything to her.
He simply sends her a message before leaving for work to appease his guilt. It hasn’t been very effective, though: “Top secret, can’t answer you. Trust me, I’ll tell you when I can. Just keep trusting me, please.”
Oddly, Baifern left him on read after that. No phone call, no messages, no sticker, nothing. This is so not like her… Maybe Po really did go too far ignoring her for so long. I’ll have to call her tonight without fail if he doesn’t want to lose the only true friend he has.
The choreographer turning the music off brings him back on earth. This pop song has been on loop for at least two hours now and is now engraved in Po’s mind.
“Okay boys, that’s all for today. You’ve got this. See you next time with your stage fit, and… don’t be late, please.” She says the last part with an accusatory stare in Jun’s direction. As a way to answer this indirect blame, the idol just smirks brightly at her.
After a respectful wai to their trainer, each member went to their own bag, scattered around the room. Po realizes too late that he is sitting next to Dylan’s. The temperature drops as the rapper stands one meter away from him. They stare at each other in silence, one side with round and pleading eyes filled with fear and the other with fierce and icy eyes filled with hatred. Then, in the blink of an eye, Dylan reaches for his bag and leaves the room without any comment. He doesn’t take the time to drink or to dry his sweat with his towel. Po is thankful for the gray-haired boy for his self-control when he clearly loathes him to the core.
Nano enters his field of vision, looking concerned. He is followed by Pepper, looking more composed.
“Are you okay, P’Po?” softly asks the youngest.
“I am, don’t worry. Thanks for caring, Nong Nano.” Po’s answer makes a bright smile bloom on the shortest.
“Aren’t you bored, looking at us dancing to the same routine all morning? Didn’t Mick give you a mission for the day?” Pepper enquiries
Po shakes his head negatively. “Actually, he just asked me to follow Thame’s schedule today up until our first workshop together in the evening. I guess he wants me to get closer to him as soon as possible…” As he speaks, Po’s eyes search for his new work partner in the room. Just an instant ago, Thame was taping his towel to his neck, removing the surplus of sweat, while reading something on his phone. But he now had all his stuff folded and shut in his bag on his shoulder while he left the room. Po immediately stands up, ready to follow.
Pepper puts a brotherly hand on his shoulder, stopping him momentarily. “I hope your intentions are good. Keep in mind that Thame isn’t a bad person. He has just been in his self-preservation mode for too long.” Po sees Jun leave the room next, but instead of ignoring him like their leader, he sends a playful wink in his direction, clearly challenging him to do something.
Po politely thanks Pepper and says goodbye to the two nicest members, barely registering Nano’s “Good luck” before rushing after Thame.
if I play this game
[Si je joue le jeu]
Me, what do I look like? In the evening I(ve had enough
[Moi de quoi j'ai l'air ? Le soir j'en ai assez]
Gathering the light, coming from old neon light
[Prendre la lumière, des néons fatigués]
**Jun's POV**
Jun isn't dumb enough to approach Po in front of the others. They are now used to him flirting with any human being crossing the band’s path, but him speaking about serious matters with the newcomer would look fishy, and if the members get suspicious, things will go wrong for sure.
That’s why the brown-haired boy chose to ignore the older boy all morning. He needs to speak to him without nosey ears nearby.
Leading to him waiting in a stairwell again. He checks the corridor through the small window on the fire exit door. Actually, Po had been so slow to react to Thame’s departure that the new hire will have no way to know which way the band’s leader went, especially considering that Po still doesn’t know the building that well yet. So he had to make a strategic choice, guessing on which way Po would try his chance.
Really, it wasn’t a completely random choice on his part. He actually followed Thame’s way. Their leader, whom he knows well, always aimed for the drink vending machine in between training sessions to buy his favorite flavored milk. But there is no way Po would already know about this compulsive habit. After all, Po isn’t sharing Thame’s mind.
It seems that it doesn’t take a real soulmate to guess someone's path, because Jun witnesses Po making progress in this very corridor, which Thame crossed rapidly just minutes ago. The older boy is taking a look in each half-opened door, slowing down his progression.
Jun feels pity for the poor boy, being this well-intentioned while being assigned such an impossible task: taming Thame to follow Pemika’s scheme. Po doesn’t know in which mess he sat a foot in, joining ONER. It actually scares the idol how the industry is going to crush this poor soul. Each member had to go through this disillusioning and humiliating process, but at least they were living their childhood dream. It sounded worth it at the time, but Po clearly wasn’t there by passion.
When Po reaches his level, Jun takes a step back, hiding completely behind the door. He waits a few seconds for the other to check the opposite room, whose door has been left fully open. Then, he leaves his hideout, grabs his target's elbow, and pulls him back in the staircase. Po doesn’t make a sound in the process, thankfully.
The door closes off on its own as the victim turns around to meet his abductor’s eyes. Po’s wildly opened eyes and mouth meet the teasingly raised eyebrows and smirky mouth of Jun.
“Huh?” is the only sound he makes.
In response, the idol shakes his hands in the air next to his mocking face. “Surprise!”
Po quickly has a change of expression, crossing his arms and closing his face with a tight-lipped exasperated smile.
I don't care, if I have to burn myself on it
[J'en ai rien à faire, si je dois m'y brûler]
I'll gather the light
[J'prendrai la lumière]
If I play this game
[Si je joue le jeu]
**Po's POV**
Having given up on chasing after his unwilling work partner, Po had accepted Jun’s offer. The charming idol will catch up on everything he needs to know to survive in ONER and especially in MARS’s proximity, starting right now, both sitting on a different step of the fire exit stairs, their backs against the wall. In exchange, Po just had to accept following the plan of Jun’s ‘little side quest’, as he called it. A quest he still had to expose to Po.
Yeah, usually, he wouldn’t have next taken such a risk, saying yes to something he doesn’t know anything about. Po likes his environment to be calm and comfortable. He hates changes and confrontation. The last two days, he has been living in his own personal hell. But he understood one thing: if he wants to survive and not give the trouble to Pemika to hide his body, even if it seems to be in her area of expertise, he needs to make compromises.
Right now, he needs to learn about his new habitat and who can be a predator in this fauna. And Jun just offered him his knowledge on a silver plate. So, accepting to participate in a shady plan doesn’t seem so bad. Plus, the more Po exchanges with Jun, the more he realizes that the flirty idol is just a facade for a very empathic boy. He isn’t one of those he should be scared of. Then again, this is a professional actor, so who knows.
Po looks slightly up to analyze Jun’s expressive face. The other is lost in his presentation of each member of the band, his eyes fixing ahead, sparkling each time an anecdote about his friends comes into his animated mind. Po isn’t sure the other would have noticed if he had slipped away mid-tirade. Jun is truly passionate about his band, which kinda breaks Po’s heart thinking about its current state.
Po listened religiously to each presentation, taking mental notes and comparing it to his own observations. Thanks to the bubbly idol, Po finally feels like he truly knows each member. He now can guess how he is seen through each of their own lenses.
First, Pepper is truly the most mature one, but he also sees situations as mathematical problems. And right now, Po is a new variable, unknown and so unpredictable for him. It’s most probable that while Po was trying to discern which kind of person he was, Pepper was doing the exact same thing back, but more discreetly. Po will have to show through actions how he isn’t a potential danger for the band, one that Pepper wouldn’t have to take care of urgently if something bad happened.
Nano isn’t as naive as he appears to be to gullible eyes. Yes, he could have some childish reactions, but his only aim is to protect not only himself but also others. Po simply has to present himself truthfully, to tell his strengths and weaknesses so the youngest one would have to be scared to get hurt or to be harmful.
For Dylan’s case, ironically this is the one member Jun had the least information on while being the one he has been talking the longest about. Po had to interfere and divert the subject on Thames, using the little time they had left before Po’s workshop as an argument.
The one thing about the gray boy that stuck in Po’s mind is the apparent fact that the rapper can’t stand the band’s prodigy, like a physical allergic reaction if he stays near him for too long. Which is weird if you think about it since they have opposite roles in the band. Also, if he really cultivates a profound hatred for their leader, his behavior towards the new hire can’t come from a protective reaction, which is what Po thought at first.
When it comes to Thame, Jun chose not to enumerate fun facts and personality analysis. He starts by relating their encounter from yesterday, from the soulmate crisis in the staircase to their exchange about the leader’s condition in the archive room. Po can see through Jun’s voice and expression how genuine he is about helping Thame. He doesn’t see their leader as someone different from the other members, but his clumsy use of words clearly didn’t help.
Thame is a complicated case, obviously used as an experimental money magnet by ONER at the cost of his mental health. Po may not know how it feels to be soulbound to someone else, but he had lived with someone having this condition for years. And if MARS’ leader isn’t lying about being step 1, his crises are very concerning for his and/or his soulmate’s health. Is he even seeing a soulmate specialist? The company should be looking into it to preserve their protégé’s life, not be looking for a beautiful cover-up for the public’s eyes.
Thame’s furious reaction to Po’s encounter is totally valid in the light of Jun’s shared information. He really feels sorry for the treatment the boy received from the very people that should have protected him. You can’t be angry at a stray dog for biting a newcomer when you know how much it had been betrayed by so-called benevolent strangers before.
Then, Jun continued on enumerating what each member had sacrificed for ONER. Po’s heart breaks little by little at how inhuman Pemika could be. Thanks to the flirty idol’s complete presentation, Po now knows so much about MARS members that he truly feels one-sidedly connected to them. Well, each one of them except maybe the one sitting right next to him.
“And what about you?” Po finally interrupts Jun.
The idol looks down at him with a dumbstruck look. “What about me?”
This is funny to see someone who spends his life observing and cataloging others not even assuming for one second that someone might be interested in understanding him. The more he talks to him, the more Po sees how different the real Jun is to his made-up annoyingly self-centered persona. It’s a night and day situation.
Po smiles at him softly. “What did you sacrifice for ONER?” Jun doesn’t answer right away, his eyes filled with shock, so Po tries something else. “Or maybe you’re just too selfish to sacrifice anything? Letting the others suffer for your benefit, huh? I’m so disappointed in you, Jun.” Po jokingly pouts to soothe the atmosphere.
It immediately works: Jun straightens up, acting fakely offended. “P’Po! How can you be this cruel!” He pushes lightly the older one, who, overdoing his reaction, mimes falling down. But quirky Po gains back his seriousness when he realizes that Jun really doesn’t consider talking about himself after exposing all his members' strengths and weaknesses.
Jun is already going soft for him because all it took was Po raising insistent eyebrows from the idol to loosen his tongue.
“Me? I have everything anyone would want: a singing career, an acting career and my solo fandom is the second biggest one after Thame’s! There is nothing to feel sorry for with me.” Jun’s voice and smile are crackling.
Po doesn’t believe a word that he just heard. He slowly put a hand on the other’s knee. Jun’s eyes fall on the foreign touch. The masking and embellishment the idol usually never removes suddenly all fall off. His eyes and face are now tainted with innocence and a profound pain.
Thame isn’t the only stray dog in the band. Jun is one too, just a different kind. The kind that abandoned the idea of being cherished a long time ago, not choosing aggressiveness when it lost hope but choosing to help the ones that still deserve this love it feels unfit for. This simple gesture from Po unsettled Jun’s perception of his world. Jun did sacrifice something for ONER. He sacrificed himself, only living for the others and not for himself. And this information really breaks Po.
He won’t ever be able to look at Pemika again without wanting to burn the whole building down. Po was never someone to act. He was usually part of the shadows. But empathy can be stronger than anxiety, and those boys had suffered enough.
He is taken out of his introspection by Jun’s weak voice.
“Acting has never been my plan A.” Silence. “MARS is and has always been my plan A.” Po respects all the painful silences Jun lets drip in between each sentence. “Sure, I have always loved watching TV-shows and movies, and I used to be a theater kid.” Jun’s eyes were previously staring ahead, but since he started talking about himself, his stare fell down to his hands on his lap. “If I’m honest, what I love about filming isn’t really the acting part. I love learning about a new character, his personality, and why he reacts that way and not another way. What’s fascinating is how relationships are constructed within a group, how interactions evolve depending on each character.” … “Sure, I’m so grateful for the opportunities I have thanks to the company and Pemika. I’m not naive enough to believe that I deserved most of the parts I got recently. There is just so much talent being discarded in the name of unworthy idols like me.” … “But a boy needs to eat, and with MARS falling apart, this seemed like the most logical way out.” ... “I wasn’t going to stay behind while everyone left the boat at the next halt, just because the band is the most precious thing I ever had.” … ”This isn’t a band anymore if only one person stays.”
The silence settles in the staircase. Po doesn’t know how to react to this long and painful confession. He doesn’t want to rush the poor boy, but he also can’t ignore that they are running out of time. Po has a workshop with Thame in like fifteen minutes, while he heard Pepper talking about a song recording with the four other members earlier.
Before Po has the courage to bring Jun back to earth, the other’s voice breaks the silence.
“But now I know how stupid I have been. I was blinded by pain and betrayal, feeling like running away was the only correct answer to the toxic atmosphere ONER put us through. I didn’t realize that we all had the same path of throughts. We are all victims of ONER’s manipulations.” Jun looks up, not to Po but to an unknown aim in front of him, with glassy eyes. “MARS isn’t dead, because we still hold a part of it precious in our heart. We need to bring us all back together. Bring MARS back together, truly, not only for the cameras. We need to really talk to each other again, to pour our passion into our choreographies and lyrics, to stop ONER from controlling us.”
Po now realizes that Jun is presently conscious of ONER’s scheme. He is protective of his members. He could do anything and everything for their safety, even going against a better judgment, even if it brings hatred to himself, even if the others can’t see it, Po can. Maybe if he honestly shares Pemika’s threats to the idol, he would expand his protectiveness to the new hire.
Jun is the best ally he could have found in this rotten company.
“I realized all that just recently, through Thame’s crisis. ONER does nothing to help him, they let him suffer, only taking the good marketable part of soulmatism. This is just inhuman. They say the world’s view on soulmatism has changed, that they now are accepted and free, but this isn’t what I see from the inside.” Jun finally turns in Po’s direction. “Oh, P’Po, believe me. Thame used to be so cute and friendly with everyone. He was so happy and solar during our debut, clumsy in a cute way that made everyone want to baby him. Don’t judge him for who he became because of ONER’s treatment. He is also a victim.”
Po can only nod to the idol’s pleading eyes.
“I just want my friends back. I want my band back. Please, P’Po. Would you help me do that?”
As an answer, Po takes the others hands into his and nods with a broken smile.
Me, I've got all I need
[Moi j'ai tout ce qu'il me faut]
Love from my loved ones, the sun under my skin
[L'amour des miens, le soleil dans la peau]
And when there are turncoat dogs
[Et quand tournent les chiens]
I turn my back at them
[Moi je leur tourne le dos]
**Jun's POV**
To lighten the mood, Po directs the discussion to more cheerful subjects. He asks him random questions like, ‘Who’s the most picky eater in the band?’, ‘Who always forgets the lyrics mid-concert?” or “Who’s the most clumsy?”. To each, Jun has one or more funny stories to tell. The staircase, once filled with a heavy silence, is now bathed in laughs and loud onomatopoeias.
Finally confessing all he had been weighing on his shoulders for months to someone freed Jun’s heart. He feels at ease, joking around with P’Po. He truly believes that the new hire can be trusted now. Because Jun saw the understanding in the other’s eyes earlier. If it was just acting, he doesn’t think ONER would have let such talent go wasted on some side quest for a band they have already given up on.
Also, what comforts Jun into thinking Po is a good person is how the other chose to share his own past after the idol's earlier monologue. Po shares about his past relationship with someone having soulmatism and how badly it ended up. The older one seems really traumatized by the experience, which is understandable.
Po’s words indicate how envious he feels about people with soulmatism. He could have chosen to hate them after what he's been through, like most people would and have. But Po seems too pure-hearted for that because all he can feel is how magnificent and powerful their bond feels from the outside. Even if it hurted him, he can still see its beauty.
And all Jun can think about, hearing him talking like that, is how lucky Po’s future life partner will be. Having someone like Po loving you must be overwhelming in a way you can feel safe and content for the rest of your life without any worry of betrayal.
“Actually, I’m quite happy to not have soulmatism.” He raises his hand to stop Po’s arguments. “Hear me out. I know love is partly something we cannot control, but still, we have a free will they don’t have. You can love someone while knowing how toxic they can be to you and so choose to keep your distance. They aren’t that lucky. I feel sorry for them. They don’t have a choice to make in the most basic piece of their life: love. I could never. I’m a free spirit!”
Po giggles at Jun’s last statement. The idol already knows that the older one has grasped the real Jun behind the flirtatious mask. That doesn’t mean he won’t have fun playing his made-up character around him. He actually realizes how funny being flirty can be without the pressure he put on himself to fit the part correctly.
“If I had soulmatism, I couldn’t be flirting with a pretty boy like you in an empty staircase right now.” Jun lets slip through his branded smirk.
Po rolls his eyes and sighs, fakely infuriated. “I think I prefer the sad and hopeless you from earlier to this.”
Silence.
Then, they both lose it in hysterical laughter, not bothering about keeping it low anymore.
Behind my smile there are your words
[Derrière mon sourire y'a tes mots]
It's for you that I'm reaching
[C'est pour toi que j'tends la main]
When you scream it keeps me warm
[Quand tu crie ça me tient chaud]
I musn't burn before the end
[Faut pas que j'brûle avant la fin]
**Po's POV**
Maybe they laughed too loud.
Maybe they let their guard down while being barely hidden in a not-so-safe nook of the lion’s den.
Maybe they made a mistake.
For all they know, one minute they are laughing heartily, Jun playfully pushing Po’s shoulder while the other tries to grab his wrist to make him stop, and the next the loud squeaking of a fire door strikes chaos in this small space.
Jun, taken over by panic, pushes Po more strongly than the new hire could’ve predicted.
Po, not fast enough to dodge or tank the thump, feels his whole body knocked over with a feather. He is barely aware of the idol’s hands trying to grab his shoulders as gravity does its work.
Everything happens in a matter of seconds, the steps hitting his sides one after another as he rolls down the stairs. Thankfully, Po has the reflex to protect his nape with his hands, folding his arms in a way to also protect his face. He can feel the pain getting absorbed by his wrists, forearms, and elbows. He doesn’t have to take a look to know that this was going to mark and hurt for a few days at least.
As he stays in a fetal position at the bottom of the stairs, he hears the muffled sound of feet hitting the steps to reach him. He barely recognized his name in Jun’s worried voice. The idols slowly turn him to lay him on his back, checking if he is conscious. All Po could say translated to a painful but fully conscious whine.
His vision and hearing gradually came back, just in time for him to catch the loud “What the fuck?!” coming from the top of the stairs.