Chapter Text
Yuuji woke up.
He groaned, his head hurt, he wondered if he finally managed to pass out in bed instead of the floor, since he felt the soft cushion under him.
“The hell…” He muttered, for some reason, he felt energized, not in the way of feeling optimistic, oh no, Yuuji hasn’t felt that since Megumi…
He felt as though he had gotten some rest, considering that his eyelids don’t feel heavy when he blinks, how’d he even manage to get into bed?
But then, everything came back to him as though a brick had fallen down and hit him in the head, the events of the previous day.
He had the urge to snort when he remembered what Gojo-sensei said,
“What could I do in possibly a second?” “More than a million things,” Yuuji bit back, “But I’ll continue,”
He was back in the past, he found his Sensei and Megumi, he got a hug from them.
And oh god, they saw who he was and then—
…Gojo hugged him once more? He didn’t want Yuuji to leave them, he wanted to know how Yuuji got here, probably.
Yuuji got up and realized why he was on a bed in the first place. Gojo-sensei rendered him unconscious, it was probably pretty easy for him, because the only rest Yuuji gets is when he’s passed out from taking a high amount of alcohol. Which his goddamn immortal body quickly dissipates, much to Yuuji’s annoyance.
Because when he takes too much alcohol, the world stops. And then he can blur into the world.
And just for a while,
He can forget everything.
And now— Yuuji becomes aware of his surroundings, he notices that this isn’t his younger room, back in Jujutsu High, this isn’t Nobara or Megumi’s either.
Then it hits him.
This is Gojo-sensei’s room.
Everything is posh, pristine, and screams wealth, makes sense. Gojo-sensei is rich as hell.
He remembers the testament.
Originally, it was meant for Megumi to have all his wealth when he perishes, though that changed and then Nobara and Yuuji were added as well.
Yuuji hasn’t used a single yen. He just can’t bear to think about it, let alone look at it.
All of the money he spends in the casino is what he gets from his paycheck of being a sorcerer.
He notices that his clothes have been changed, he’s now in a hoodie that feels too big for him.
Shit. The person who changed him, most likely Gojo-sensei saw his body, he might have seen the scars all over Yuuji’s body. He might have seen the scars on Yuuji’s arms.
Ah, his heightened senses still work. He picks up on a certain, familiar set of footsteps approaching his door. He readys himself for what’s to come.
“Ah, glad to see you awake, thought you were dead, sleeping like that,” Gojo said, one hand on his hip in a sassy manner, carrying a bag that he slung on his shoulders in the other.
“Gojo-sensei,” Yuuji looked straight ahead, he couldn’t look at him, not yet, that was too much, yesterday was too much.
“Can you look at me? Yuuji-kun?” Gojo took a seat by him, his voice was so soft and sweet. Guilt comes crashing down, even though he spent years numbing to it. What did Yuuji do to deserve this? He failed his Sensei. He failed Megumi. He failed Nobara. He failed everyone.
Yuuji screwed his eyes shut, he bit his lip as he shook his head, he just couldn’t. “Sorry..”
“That’s fine, Yuuji-kun, it’s okay, you don’t need to apologize,” Gojo said quietly, as if that would help calm Yuuji down.
It didn’t.
Yuuji doesn’t want Gojo to talk to him so politely, as if he didn’t die. As if everything was fine and Gojo didn’t die at the hands of something Yuuji could have prevented if he was stronger.
Stronger.
If Yuuji had been stronger.
Everyone would’ve been alive, Junpei and his mom would have been happier, Nanamin— (Crap, Yuuji doesn’t deserve to give him a nickname), Nanami-sensei could’ve had a vacation in Malaysia, Principal Yaga and Panda could have grown up together.
Those civilians at Shibuya.
Oh god, Choso.
Choso and his brothers Eso and Kechizu.
Gojo-sensei.
Tsumiki, Megumi’s sister.
Grandpa.
Yuuji feels sick, he can’t do this anymore. The guilt is coming back to him, he feels like he’s drowning.
He’s drowning.
He feels movement from above the water, but he doesn’t have the strength to swim up and identify it.
He feels more movement. As if tempting him into seeking out the surface above.
Eventually, after an agonizing amount of time, he hears something—
“I love her, but she really needs to sort out her obsession with trying to overcharge my card, oh, there you are, you remember how you are? Ah, nevermind that, You're Itadori Yuuji, who looks to be around age twenty-three, and you're in my dorms inside Jujutsu High. You with me, Yuuji-kun?”
“‘m drowning” He managed to croak,
“That's alright, do you have the strength to swim?”
Yuuji contemplates. If he's being truthfully honest, he doesn't want to. He likes the cold of the deep dark waters, because they cause a shiver down his body. They feel like their going to kill him, which would make everything so much goddamn easier,
“How do you feel, Yuuji-kun?”
“Heavy” Yuuji manages,
“That’s understandable,”
That's ... Oddly comforting,
“But I advise we swim, yeah? If you weren't having a mental crisis, I'd call you lazy,”
That last bit sounded a bit like—
“Gram’ps?” Yuuji slurred,
“No, not quite, but I feel honored to be associated with your guardian,” There was a chuckle, “It's me, Gojo Satoru, or how you call me, Gojo-sensei,”
Recognition flared.
“Gojo… Sensei? You're actually here?”
“Yes, of course, Yuuji-kun! Your amazing Sensei is here, right by your side!~”
“You- You aren't dead? 'm not hallucinating again? You're really not going to leave me alone?”
There was some silence. Of course his stupid mind was playing with him. Gojo-sensei is dead. He's been dead for the past 60 years—
“Yuuji-kun thinks I'm dead?”
“Mm, yeah? Gojo-sensei died at the hands of S'kuna because I was too weak and I failed him,” He says, already getting tired, his mind always slows down or gets numb thinking about Shinjuku.
There was some more silence, this feels like a hallucination.
“Wish that finger could've killed me honestly,” He mumbles, oh shit, he knows his mind isn't in the greatest of states right now, but it's probably going to get worse, considering that he hasn't eaten his antidepressants.
“Yuuji-kun,” Is the voice of hallucination Sensei
Yuuji makes a sound of acknowledgement.
“You're safe here, you know that, right?”
Yuuji frowns. No he doesn't. Because when was the last time he was safe?
Jujutsu High. Nobara and Megumi.
“You're safe here, do you believe me?”
Yuuji shakes his head, of course he doesn’t, why does he need to lie to a hallucination?
“Do you think I'm real?”
Yuuji shakes his head again. He's tired of this bull. He's been tired of this crap since the 10th or so time this has happened. And that was a month after Shinkjuku.
“Well I can prove that I'm real, can you turn to your right to look at me Yuuji-kun? “
He wasn't looking at this supposed real Sensei?
He cranks his neck ever so slightly to the left, then a bit more, then a bit more.
More until he's finally moved his head ninety degrees to his left. His eyes catch the faint figure and his brain slowly processes the figure. Oh, this is Gojo-sensei. But he's not covered in blood like he usually is.
“Yuuji-kun, I'm going to keep you safe, do you believe that?” Non-bloody sensei asks, again, and honestly, Yuuji isn't really sure how non-bloody Gojo-sensei can really keep him safe.
“You know how? Because I'm real, and I can prove to you that I'm gonna keep you safe, we just need to make a pinky promise,” Non-bloody Sensei says with a cheeky grin, holding out his last finger.
Yuuji stares at it for a good second, then he slowly feels his arm, he slowly brings it up to Non-bloody Gojo-sensei just to see and…
His pinky touches Gojo-sensei’s pinky.
Yuuji blinks once.
He blinks again.
Oh, god.
His Pinky. Touches. Gojo-sensei’s.
Gojo-sensei is real.
He's real, he's here and he is touching Yuuji.
Yuuji sucks in an audible breath.
“Gojo-sensei's real… He's real and doesn't have blood, that means… I'm not hallucinating… That means… Gojo-sensei's here… But… How…?”
“We can figure that out later, Yuuji-kun,” Non-bloody, real Gojo-sensei said, as their hands switched to keeping them palm-to-palm, “For now, you believe me? That I'll keep you safe?,”
Yuuji looked at him, and back at the palms that were placed together, Gojo-sensei’s fingers were now interlocking with Yuuji's own.
Slowly, he nodded. Gojo-sensei’s here, with him, touching him. Yuuji can feel him.
…
He's feeling tired again.
This is too exhausting.
He needs Ba'ro-san's antidepressants if he wants to stay awake.
…Maybe a bit more sleep would be fine?
Gojo-sensei’s real and he'll keep him safe after all.
Huh. He'll keep Yuuji safe.
“Gojo-sensei’ll keep… Yuuji safe… From the bloody Sensei…”
Gojo's going to kill a man.
The only thing stopping him is that he doesn't know who to kill because nobody has done anything (“Go kill the higher ups” his brain told him, That'll cause more problems, right now, he needs to be here for Yuuji, He responds back).
The problem is that Older Yuuji, the one who'd been desperate for a hug, who'd hadn't got one (A damn hug!) in god knows how long.
This Yuuji is scared, traumatized, and broken. His eyes were the windows to something nobody should go through. With such big eye bags under his eyes Gojo honestly thought that some child had painted the underneath of his eye with black paint and smudged it all over his face.
One week.
Yuuji slept for one week.
That's how damn tired he was.
What's worse is that he looks so young. Which means Yuuji has been suffering for a long time and it started when he was young. Maybe the suffering has started now itself? Gojo Needs to check on his Yuuji too.
And Yuuji couldn't even look at him because he might've broken down. God, Gojo's heart broke.
And then, Yuuji spaced out, and his eyes, the sort of changed shape, they were still empty, but somehow, it was like—
Like looking at a child.
He may have been looking at a case of De-Aging. Gojo had heard of cases of sorcerers that had happened due to the amount of trauma they had faced.
Oh his poor, poor baby.
How can Gojo help him without himself breaking down?
Those sluggish, slurred words that came out of Yuuji's mouth in the sound of—
“You- You aren't dead? I'm not hallucinating again? You're really not going to leave me alone?”
“Mm, yeah? Gojo-sensei died because of S'kuna because I was too weak and I failed him,”
“Wish that finger could've killed me honestly,”
God, Gojo's going to cry. He's going to cry because at some point in the near future, he's going to leave his babies. And Yuuji's going to carry that guilt. His baby is tired of living. He wants to join Gojo. That's the opposite of what Gojo wanted if he ever died when his kids were young.
Gojo felt some sort of pride at when Yuuji acknowledged that he'll keep him safe. At least that got through his head, but that was short lived when he realized that he was asking Gojo to keep him safe from a bloodied version of him, essentially, a damn hallucination.
Then, Yuuji's eyes started closing again. And before he knew it Yuuji’s upper body fell to the side.
Gojo had risen in an instant, holding Yuuji's head and pulling him close. He checked for his pulse.
Strong. Steady.
…In a way that too was uncomfortable.
Six Eyes obviously picked up on something off about his heartbeat. It was too functional. As if nothing could stop this beat.
Gojo realized what Yuuji's dealing with around an hour into Yuuji's sleep the first time Gojo's fingers pressed to Yuuji’s temple a week ago.
Regeneration. And possible Enhanced Soul Strength.
That way Yuuji won't be able to die easily, which is probably how Yuuji went so long without sleep and nourishment.
And Six Eyes also caught something else.
Under Six Eyes, he looks to be… Old. Not to mention the white hair his pink changed into. He looks really old, around eighty?
That's when Gojo also realized something else.
Immortality.
…
To be fair, Yuuji didn't really have Immortality by the looks of it, it's more of an increase in life span. Which makes some questions in Gojo's head answered. Also tore his heart into shreds even more with the fact that Yuuji has dealt with this for probably… 30 years? No.. Probably more.
For now, he put Yuuji back on the bed again, he was careful since Yuuji was still light as hell.
It's been an hour.
Yuuji stirred.
He groaned as he rubbed his head and then stared at the ceiling.
He didn’t move, he probably noticed but didn't care about the man who was sitting next to him.
After a good fifteen minutes, Yuuji opened his mouth, “What’s the month?” His voice was rough, hoarse. He wonders how long he’s been out.
“It’s July,” The white haired man responds,
“Ah,” Yuuji didn’t move,
…
“Gojo-Sensei,”
“Hmm?”
“Leiri-san met another sorcerer around a year back, her name is Ba'ro Ojicha, she has a dream of starting her own pharmacy, she succeeds in the future, and her daughter Ba'ro Unno is now head of a very successful company with branches all over Japan,”
“I see”
“Ba'ro-san created antidepressants for Jujutsu sorcerers, specifically me, I need those,”
“I understand,” Gojo said getting up, “You want me to send her here?”
Yuuji nodded, he can’t really do anything, and his mind is getting worse, by the second, in about two minutes he’s going to go into a depressive episode.
Shit.
Yeah that’s one way to describe his life, but for now, he needs to wait for Ba'ro-san. He doesn’t know how long he can digest waiting though.