Chapter Text
“So, you three are protectors of, and draw power from, a mystical force called the Honmoon.” Started Luz.
“Well, the Honmoon’s more like a barrier, but yes.” Said Rumi.
“And HUNTR/X’s fans help power the Honmoon.”
“Precisely!” Added Zoey.
“And you three also hunt down demons who want to destroy the Honmoon and feast upon the souls of the living.”
“Yeah, pretty much.” Finished Mira.
“So, you guys are essentially Kpop Demon Hunters?” Said The Collector chipperly.
“...Yes, that's what we’ve already established. We’re Kpop Demon Hunters.” Responded Mira, one of her eyes subtly twitching.
“You should also tack on ‘Somewhat Overzealous’ to that descriptor, buddy.” Said Aster as he and Hunter finished boarding up the last window. “Seeing as tall, mauve and broody here nearly gored Blitzo when we first met.”
“Well, to be fair to Mira, Blitzo stood out like a sore thumb compared to you Charlie and Vaggie.” Replied Zoey. “We thought he was a minion of Gwi-Ma!”
“Well, he’s not.” Said Charlie. “He’s one of my good friends, like the rest of I.M.P’s workforce.”
Amity looked between Charlie and Blitzo, before a look of confusion crossed her face. “Him?” Said Amity, a hint of skepticism in her voice. “How’d that happen?”
“Eh, she, and her father saved me from getting my fucking head chopped off in front of my coworkers and daughter when we were put on trial by her aunts and uncles.” Blitzo briefly explained. “Talk with Aster about it, he and his buddies were somehow able to watch the courtroom’s broadcast, despite being on Earth.”
“Now, we need you to set some things straight with us, Luz.” Began Vaggie. “First off, you’re saying that the reason why there’s a zombie apocalypse going on outside is because your world’s ruler, who’s actually a centuries-old witch hunter who feasted upon living wood carvings to stay alive, at the cost of becoming a rot golem in the process, pretty much threw a tantrum because he realized that people have moved on from hunting down witches?”
“Correct.” Answered Luz. “Belos believes that this is what humanity deserves for ‘becoming too corrupted’”
“Secondly, how the hell did you become a Titan?” Added Charlie. “Because when my dad used to tell me about them, he said that they were wiped out by The Archivists.”
“Ok, for future reference, I’m a half-Titan, not a full one.” Corrected Luz. “But, pretty much, I got stuck in a dimension between dimensions after explaining to my mom why I couldn’t accept her promise to stay here in the Human Realm. I almost went completely nuts from the isolation, but luckily, I was found by Orion, the spirit of the Titan whose corpse makes up The Boiling Isles itself, and is also King’s dad!
And I guess also my dad as well, in a cosmic metaphysical way? Anyways, he’s the one who gave me my new look, and sent me back to The Boiling Isles with one mission: Defeat Belos once and for all!”
A pregnant pause fell over the cafeteria. “Well?” Said Vaggie. “Is there anything anyone else wants to add?”
“Nah, we’re good.” Said Rumi, gesturing to Mira and Zoey.
“Same here.” Added Masha.
“Ditto.” Continued Aster.
“Got it all on lock, Luz!” Stated Bobby, gesturing to his head.
“I’m sorry, I’m still focused on Lilith cursing her sister.” Finished Blitzo.
“Aw come on, man!” Exclaimed Amity in frustration. “She’s already redeemed herself!”
“In your eyes, maybe, but down in the depths of Hell, it’s gonna take more than fucking off to Satan-knows-where, or, hell, splitting said curse to become redeemed. And believe me, my boss is all about redemption!” Retorted Blitzo. “And besides, like, I hate my sister, but I wouldn’t go as far as curse her into becoming a monster! Though, if the roles were reversed, Barbie would definitely pull something like that…”
“Ok, Blitzo,” Said Raine, pinching the bridge of their nose in exasperation. “if you were in Eda’s shoes, how would you react to learning that your sister cursed you?”
Without hesitation, Blitzo pulled out a revolver and pointed it at Lilith’s head. “Don’t test me, poindexter,” Seethed Blitzo. “I will not hesitate to pop one between your eyes.”
“...Mr. Blitzo, this entire situation is stressing me the fuck out as is.” Said Lilith. “So please, don’t do anything that’ll make me angry.”
“Heh, why not? Am I not gonna like you when you’re-” Began Blitzo, only for the joke to die in his throat when Lilith grabbed the revolver’s barrel and crushed it like paper in her bare hands, her fingernails now looking incredibly sharp.
“It’ll be the last thing you ever do.” Growled Lilith, her voice sounding deeper than it did a moment ago. And it might’ve been because the lights decided to freak out at that moment, but Blitzo could’ve sworn he saw black spots forming in Lilith’s eyes.
Click! The lights went out, and the only thing everyone could see was each other’s eyes. “And there goes the power.” Deadpanned Aster.
“Well, let’s hope the power comes back on, soon.” Said King.
“Uh, not to burst your bubble or anything, kid, but odds are, the people at the power station are either already eaten, or have eaten their comrades.” Replied Mira. “So the chances of power returning are slim to none.”
“Not to worry, though!” Added Rumi helpfully. “I happen to have a solution! Just let me undress first.”
“The fuck?!” Exclaimed Aster.
“Let me do you one better.” Said Luz. A few moments later, several glowing orbs began floating around the room, lighting it up. It was then that Luz and the others noticed that Willow was crying.
“Captain, what’s wrong?” Said a concerned Hunter as he and the others from The Boiling Isles approached the Plant witch.
“We abandoned them.” Said Willow, wiping her eyes. “O-Our parents, they’re still in the Demon Realm… and we just left them at the mercy of those… things. They’re probably dead by now!”
Amity, Gus and Hunter all donned looks of horror once Willow’s statement sunk in for them. “Willow, kiddo, let me let you in on a little something.” Said Eda, placing a comforting hand on Willow’s shoulder. Luz knew that Eda was being serious, since she referred to Willow by her real name.
“Did you know that, back when I was your age, I was friends with your dads? I mean, sure, Gilbert and Harvey didn’t go to Hexside, but I did meet and befriend them during a school district event, I.F.W.O.T. And from what I saw of their fighting spirit that day, they can definitely hold their own against the zombies.” Said Eda, before turning her attention to Amity, Gus and Hunter. “The same goes for your folks as well. And before you say anything, Hunter, it’s pretty obvious that you see Darius as a father figure.”
“Y-Yeah! And our friends at Hexside can fend for themselves as well!” Added Amity.
“Exactly!” Continued Eda. “Everybody that’s still in the Isles will be fine. Trust me.”
“O-Ok, if you say so.” Said Willow as Hunter hugged her.
“While I appreciate the light show you just did, Luz,” Said Mira. “It still doesn’t change the fact that we have no power here.”
“Not to mention a severe lack of food and medical supplies.” Chimed in Aster.
“Well, lucky for us, I happen to know where to get all three things.” Said Luz as she beckoned everyone to come closer to her. But as he did so, Aster stepped on something hard and sharp, and picking it up,he saw that it was a large, black feather. Aster stared at it in confusion, before shrugging and tucking it behind his ear. Luz then proceeded to pull a map of Gravesfield and a red marker out of her hair (much to the confusion of everyone besides Eda and King).
“Ok, me, Vee, Masha, Mami, Eda and Raine will turn on the power at the power plant and divert it to the school here, Aster, Charlie, Amity, Willow, Hunter, Gus and Steve will acquire food at the supermarket here, and HUNTR/X, Bobby, Vaggie and Blitzo will gather medical supplies at the hospital here.” Explained Luz as she marked the locations on the map.
“...What about me and Collie?” Said King when he realized that neither of them were assigned a group.
“It’s way too dangerous out there for lil’ guys like you.” Explained Luz. “That’s why you and Collie will stay here at the school. But it’s not all bad, you two’ll have Cool Aunt Lilith as your babysitter!”
“Wha-Me?! But why?!” Spluttered Lilith.
“Because I completely forgot to-Why are your tattoos glowing, Rumi?” Began Luz, only to be distracted by the purple glow emanating from HUNTR/X’s lead singer.
“Oh, these aren’t tattoos, Luz.” Said Rumi sheepishly.
“Yeah, we may have forgotten to mention, Rumi’s half-demon.” Said Zoey as she and Mira realized their blunder.
The others looked at HUNTR/X in utter shock, before Blitzo said what was on everyone’s minds.
“WHA-?!”