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with spring came warm weather and flowers, so i’ve been seeing butterflies everywhere lately.
a monarch accompanying me the way home. the glimpse of a swallowtail flitting past as the both of us embark on our busy days.
but most notably, the frantic beating of a pair of wings caught between a window and the blinds. one i didn’t actually see.
they remind me of you, the way you were everywhere in my life. you’d trail after me just like a butterfly — curious, but always a little hesitant to approach. you were always near, even if i couldn’t see you, and your presence soon became a sense of comfort and safety for me. and when i do see you, your appearance would be unexpected but still very welcome; you always did wonders for my mood.
and seeing the smile on your face, i knew you must’ve felt the same too.
so i allowed you to infiltrate my life. i let you in with open arms, embraced you, and resigned myself to you. relished in the way you melted in my arms, and allowed myself to relax into yours. you took control over my conscience with your every word, every gesture an act of utmost devotion, lulling me towards you even if my heart was never fully convinced.
just like that, i allowed myself to be blinded by the security of your loving arms, allowed you to clip my wings and ruin me in the most tender of moments, reducing my life to one i could only witness through a glass window — so gently that i don’t think either of us realized until the very end, when i finally tried to fly away.
what you’ve done to me, what you’ve diminished me to, perhaps even without meaning to.