Chapter Text
The bell rang, signaling that school was over. Most students left for the bus or headed to their after school clubs, typically travelling in small groups of friends. Wilson was supposed to have football practise today to prepare for the big game on Friday, but he decided he was going to miss it, & instead made his way to Mr. Small's office once again for a little chat. Since school had just ended, the corridors were still crowded, however as Wilson was made out of paper, he had no problem squeezing past people. He made his way up the stairs as a large group of students, likely all leaving the same class, headed down.
Once he approached the office door, he opened it to find Mr. Small eating a chocolate muffin & drinking some of his usual herbal tea inside.
"Ah, Wilson! You're back!" Steve greeted gleefully.
"Hi Mr. Small, I was wondering if we could have another talk?" Wilson asked, slightly less nervous than he had been the previous day.
"Of course! Pull up a chair & say what you need to say! I don't need to leave until they close the building today, so you can stay as long as you like!"
Wilson grabbed a wooden chair from the corner of the room & moved it in front of the desk before sitting down. Mr. Small smiled warmly, making Wilson feel welcomed once again.
"Continuing on from last time, I never really said this before but I think I've always kind of known deep down that I was queer? Like I've never had romantic feelings this strong for a boy before & I've always been able to ignore it, but now I feel like I can't & I hate that I've been bottling it up for so long. Apart from you & Mr. Corneille, I've only really told Clare about it, & based on her expression I have a feeling she's always known."
"Listen, you're thirteen years old, you don't have to feel ashamed for suppressing your identity. You're at the beginning of your teenage years, this is where everyone starts to figure themselves out," Mr. Small stated.
"Yeah but then there's people like Gregory who have been openly queer since they learned what romance was pretty much," Wilson complained, "I hate that. You know, I really don't like Gregory. Or Gregor, or Greg I dunno, whatever. He's so full of himself, why is it that just because he's openly bisexual does he think he has any right to start assuming how other people might identify? Just today he made the assumption that I liked boys! & like he's right but why does he get to assume that? & he called me hot. He has a boyfriend, why is he saying such a thing?"
Steve paused for a moment & then asked, "who is it that you have your eye on exactly, if you don't mind me asking?"
Wilson's face got very hot all of a sudden, "uh.. yeah, it's uh- I think I like.. Leslie."
"Isn't that who Gregory is dating?"
"Yeah."
"Then, perhaps a lot of your issues with Gregory come from the fact that you have feelings for his boyfriend," Mr. Small suggested, "just some food for thought."
The paper boy sighed, "yeah.. I guess so. I just feel like there's something about him that doesn't sit right with me, & I'm not sure what."
"You said you were kind of jealous that he gets to be openly bisexual. Is it the openness, the certainty in how he labels himself, or?"
"I think it's a mix of both honestly. I don't know what I am but I'd love for it to not be a secret & for everyone to just know. I am terrified to come out as anything definitive, because what if I'm wrong?" Wilson admitted.
"Well, Wilson," Mr. Small replied, "for starters you should try to get your head out of your little Leslie bubble & ask yourself more questions. You know you like boys, but what about girls, how do you feel about them? Is there anything in particular that makes you feel seen? Do you know of any other students you can talk to who might be experiencing something similar?"
Wilson hesitated, "I.. think I do like girls as well. I don't think I've ever had feelings as strong as this for a girl but I don't think I'd be opposed to dating one. Does that make me bi as well?"
"I'm not here to give you a label, as I said yesterday I don't personally like to label myself in that way, but I do think asking yourself these questions is key to understanding yourself better & to finding community. Your feelings may also change with time, nothing is set in stone. Perhaps today you feel more aligned with bisexuality, but in 20 years you might identify more with being gay, & that's okay!"
"Honestly if I had feelings for any other boy, I'd probably just be talking to Leslie himself about this. He's one of my best friends & similar to Gregory, everyone's just kind of known he was gay since elementary school. He gives pretty good advice on most things too."
Mr. Small smiled, "you still can talk to him! You don't have to mention the fact that you like someone, but you can talk to him about the fact that you've been thinking more about your identity."
"Yeah.. I guess you're right!" Wilson thought aloud, "thank you, sir!"
"It's Mr. Small," the guidance councillor replied.
"Oh yeah sorry, thank you Mr. Small!" Wilson grinned before leaving the room. Knowingly, he headed for the school stadium, Clare would be sitting there as always.
On the way out of school, he passed the gym. Leslie was just out of cheerleader practise & Gregory who'd had an hour of detention had come to meet up with him. Wilson didn't stop to say hi or anything, but he did look back when he walked. He couldn't tell if it was his bias kicking in or a genuine observation, but Gregory seemed far more interested in his phone, & Leslie didn't say a word. The latter however, did spot Wilson & gave him a little wave along with a genuine smile, so he nervously waved back. That flower's smile could make anyone feel better.
***
Upon approaching the stadium, Wilson remembered the football practise he'd missed. Oops. Since today's session was two hours rather than the usual one, he'd have to hide if he wanted to see Clare. He pulled out his phone & quickly texted her to meet below the seating area.
Clare met her friend where he'd suggested.
"Where were you, why weren't you at practise?"
"I was at Mr. Small's," Wilson replied.
"Wilson, you are a mess, you've got a game on Friday! That's only two days away!" Clare reminded him with an obvious worry in her tone.
"It's fine. Listen, I have to tell you something."
"What's up?"
"I'm gay," Wilson started, "or like.. bi, or queer, I don't know yet. But I do definitely like boys, & I just.. wanted to share that with you, because I love you."
Clare smiled, "oh Wilson, I'm glad you told me. I can't say I didn't think it might be the case, but that was always your information to share, not mine to assume. I'm proud of you for opening up."
"Thanks, Clare."
"So.. who's the boy you like?" Clare asked, raising one eyebrow in a teasing manner, "don't tell me, is it Leslie?"
Wilson blushed, "how did you know?"
"Because I know you well, dude."
"Well, yeah, it's him."
"So, you got any plans to do anything about it? He does have a boyfriend," asked Clare.
"I think.. I'm gonna talk to him about my sexuality & see where it goes from there. If I end up keeping it to myself or if I end up blurting everything to him, I don't know yet. But I want to talk to him regardless, he's my best friend other than you," said Wilson.
"That sounds like a good idea!" Clare smiled, "so when are you gonna speak to him?"
Wilson thought about it, "honestly probably just the next time I see him."
"I'm sure it'll go great!"