Chapter Text
-Timeskip, manhwa chapter 89
'I wasn't proud of eavesdropping on someone else's conversation," Taeui walked up to the stairs while he thought to himself, 'I simply came to the study due to Kyle had asked for my presence.'
When Taeui heard Ilay's voice through the slightly open door, the sound of Ilay just happened to freeze him in place. In other words, he definitely didn't intend to listen to their conversation.
As soon as Taeui arrived at his room, Ilay had followed him silently back from the study room. Taeui turned back to face him completely, then see Ilay's frowned face. "Earlier in the study, how much did you hear?" Ilay asked. He might started to develop some other chronic illness because why the hell he see Ilay worried face behind those frowned?
"I asked you, tay. How much did you heard?" Ilay pressured.
"....." Taeui observed Ilay reaction to everything he muttered out. 'Ilay really seems oddly on edge, huh.' He thinks.
Ilay crossed his hands, waiting for Taeui response. "Starting from you saying that you were going to kill me the moment you found me." Taeui said.
Taeui scratched his neck nervously and continues, "I could barely hear you, you were talking talking quietly. And it didn't seem important anyway. You don't have to worry-"
"And?" Ilay interrupted. "What else did you hear?" He stepped one closer to their space.
'Why the hell does it matter, it's not like I can undo the mistakes.' Taeui scoffed, "That's funny," he stepped closer to Ilay, "are you trying to say you're pissed that I overheard your planned how to get rid of me?" He said while clenching his hands until it sores.
Taeui doesn't let Ilay explains. He continues, "Fine, since we're on the same subject." He grasped his own shirts, and asked, "Why let me live?"
Ilay flinched at the sudden question and stared at Taeui's hands. Then, Taeui continue to asked again, "Why are you holding back? What exactly do you want with me..!" He shouted and shoved Ilay forward, to test his patience. "Just kill me already. I can't do this anymore, Ilay." His voice shakily said. "Do you really despise my existence so much that you want to bother my life to the fullest?" The room temperature drop, Ilay doesn't move, can't say anything, dumbfounded for the first time in his life.
Taeui retreated from the conversation and walked to the closet, searching for the rope. Ilay when realized that suddenly rushed to him and grabbed Taeui's hands. "Jeong Taeui, what are you doing!" His face terrified by Taeui sudden action.
"If you don't want to kill me, then I would gladly unalive myself." Taeui stated, not even looking at Ilay. His eyes that full of life now look very soulless.
Ilay action fast than his mind would reach, he turned Taeui's body to face him, and he wrapped his arms around Taeui in a quiet embrace that spoke louder than words. "No." He whispered in Taeui's ear. "Don't go. Leave me behind again, please."
Does Taeui's ears deceived him again? Why would Ilay of all people hugged him warmly and whisper him sweetly, as if scared to get abandoned?
Taeui looked up, to see Ilay's face and more surprisingly, his eyes twitching, that face he makes.. like he's about to cry. What..? He.. cried? Wait.. he begged too!?
"Don't make that face, Ilay. how can I refused you this time.." Taeui sobbed, Ilay's white shirt soaked with his tears, crying non-stop.
Before Taeui can thinks of anything, Ilay seared his mouth into a kiss. He held Taeui's face dearly as it were gonna break in any second. Then, he slid his tongue in Taeui's mouths while the other hands caressing his back possessively, but still have a warmth beneath it.
Taeui flustered, from his cheeks to his neck red from their affectionate kisses. When he's out of breath, he pushed Ilay slightly to gather his breaths. Their saliva still connected in between their lips.
"Tay," Ilay called his name softly. "You can do anything you want, but don't leave me behind. I can't afford to lose you again." He grabbed Taeui's face again, to study his every expression, his vulnerable state, yes.. everything he shows to him. Only Ilay Riegrow allowed to see all that.
Does Ilay really likes him? The sudden nausea filled up his stomach. What now? If he really likes him, why? He doesn't have anything appealing that makes Ilay reacted this way. Is he really losing his mind now? Or is he temporary toy to make himself feel better? Why would he live for Ilay all of people? Right. Jaeui will be fine without him. And his uncle too. He's not someone important to still alive for. Plus, he's below average. He can't even look up to mirror without feeling disgust to himself. He's not pretty, cute and petite like Xinlu. Even the man infront of him with the worst personality got the best gen.
Taeui gritted his teeth and said, "Why me of all people? Are you really that bored? I'm not even your type to begin with. You can have anybody in this world if you want to. Am I a joke to you? Easy for you to say that when you bored with me, you can toss me aside and act like I'm nothing. While I can't even hated you but me, I hate myself more for letting you in. Is my life really like a joke to you? Tell me, Ilay. I can't even walk without feeling myself getting judge by people, I'm embarrassed to being myself. I dislike my own appearance and I'm scared if I get too comfortable with you later, you will changed your mind. I'm sorry, Ilay. I can't do that. Just shoot me in the heart so already that I can't feel anything anymore."
This time Taeui not even shed a single tear, just an empty face, he can't even processed his own words.
Ilay's face terrified in horror way when he heard it. His every words stabbed his own hearts. "Is that what you think, Tay? Do you even look at yourself?" Ilay shaked him slightly, to make him say it was only a harsh jokes.
Taeui ignored him. "Ilay, I need my meds now, please."
Ilay hesitated, but still took the meds bottle out of his pocket and pour it in Taeui's hands. And he swallowed it with a glass of water Ilay just give him and started to calm down.
"Give me your hands, Taeui." Ilay took taeui's hands softly. "Why did you clenched so hard, it almost bleeding." He sighed, and walked away to take first aid kit nearby.
Ilay treated his hands carefully, put on the ointment and toss the cotton wool aside after he's done. By the time by it, Taeui is already asleep. His frowned now gone.
Ilay kissed his forehead and lift him up in bridal style.
"I wouldn't let anyone snatched you again. You're mine, Tay. We would talk about everything later when you're awake and sober." He smiled and kissed his forehead again.