Chapter Text
To my dearest,
I address this letter to you believing I should feel ashamed for my feelings that you don’t feel towards me, but I cannot bring myself to feel that way. You’ve ignited a fire in my soul that cannot be extinguished any longer. It relights itself each time I see you, leaving me guiltily delightful with queer feelings. I cannot deny it, I love you.
However, I hide a fateful secret to which there is no cure. Despite my masculine appearance, I am a woman in truth. I live vicariously through you, attached to your hip like a pesky stray, reaching for manlyhood I cannot truly attain. I desire to be a real man, however impossible this dream is.
Hate plagues me daily. My thoughts, my body, my feelings, all abhorrent. I ask for you condemn me just like I condemn myself. I cannot, in good conscience, beg for you to accept this frightful reality.
Hitherto I have fought these feelings of disgrace and penitence for the body I was born in 50 years ago, and the secret I’ve carried for 30 of those years, today this changes. I’ve created a monster in one of my frightful experiments, all the worst parts of me.
Today, I am Henry Jekyll, free from the burdens of secrecy. I am younger, lighter, happier in body. And I love you, Gabriel Utterson.
Sincerely,
Your secret admirer, Jekyll.