Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Autumn is in full swing by the time you are well enough to return back to school. Your arm is still in a cast and will be for a few more weeks still, but that’s okay. The stitches on your head were taken out a few days ago too. You were given clear instructions by the doctor how to massage the scar properly so the tissue doesn’t turn stiff once it fades. The fading process itself is still gonna take a few months too. For now, the healing injury is still tender and reddish pink.

You look at it in the mirror, examining it carefully. It decorates your temple, but thankfully it barely hurts anymore. Your father knocks on the bathroom door and you invite him in. He hands you a cream bought specifically for this. You should massage it into the tissue to keep it constantly moisturised.

“Thank you, Otou-san.” He smiles at you, but his eyes are still a bit sad when they land on the pink line on your head. He steps closer to kiss the crown of your head before he exits the bathroom to give you space. “Of course, my little mochi.”

He later helps you put on your school uniform properly, it’s a bit harder with only one functioning hand and attempts to put your hair into a low bun, it’s a bit messy, but you like it. You had missed the uniform. There has been a long discussion between you and your father. He wanted to transfer you to a different high school after what had happened, the concern etched into his face. You reassured him multiple times that you would be fine. Only a trimester and a half was left before you graduate. It would be quite difficult to transfer to a different school now. Not to mention, you would lose all your beloved friends.

It took some convincing, but eventually you managed to convince him and he agreed to allow you to continue to attend Kaijou High School with the promise that Yukio would protect you if anything came up, as if that wasn’t a given. Friends look out for each other.

And speaking of the boy, Yukio is already waiting for you by the fence gate when you wave your father goodbye.

“Morning,” you greet your grumpy friend.

“Hey,” he says, “give me your bag.”

“Why?” you question with a raised eyebrow.

“So I can throw it in the river. What do you think? I’m gonna carry it for you.” You comply without protest, this would just turn into a 30 minute squabble. You would normally entertain the idea, it’s fun to tease and argue with Yukio, this back-and-forth you have between you is always amusing.

“Fine, thanks,” he looks at you suspiciously when you don’t argue, not even once. His eyes narrow like he knows you are up to something. Which is, rude. You are an angel, thank you very much. However, he is not completely wrong. You are planning something. But it’s nothing bad! You swear!

Something has been bothering you for a while now and you are hoping to clear it up today and , ideally, fix it.

You see, Kise has not texted you, called you, or visited you once during your recuperation. Which was highly concerning, since you have grown to the blond’s constant presence in your life. Whenever he would appear in the hallway just because he wanted to say hi, or how he would chat with you every given chance when you visited basketball practice, or how he went out of his way to invite you to some fun activities, like ice-cream or a walk in the park. You miss your friend dearly.

You had even messaged him, but he did not answer any of your texts. But you’re going to fix that today. Not even Yukio had an answer for you when you asked, even though he sees the first year almost every day of the school week. You just need to find him. You need to find Kise and ask him what’s wrong.

“Let’s go?” You ask, already on the move. Yukio catches up with a few long strides. Your arm links with his and with a determined face, you pick up the pace.

The two of you run into Moriyama on the way, who immediately begins talking Yukio’s ear off about the latest flirting technique he has read about after he cheerfully welcomes you back. Yukio pointedly ignores him, looking like he would rather be anywhere else. You pat his upper arm in sympathy. That is when Moriyama asks you if he could try out his new flirting abilities on you.

You laugh and tell him he should test them out on Yukio instead who sends you a pointed look that screams pure murder. Unfortunately, he cannot chase you down, you have injury immunity, you just grin at him wickedly. His eyes are clearly telling you that there will be revenge once you recover completely, you just stick out your tongue at him in return.

Moriyama, ever the jokester, takes the bait and begins his rather poor attempts at complimenting Yukio.

“You should say something about his sapphire blue eyes, Moriyama-kun, compare them to the depth of the sea, or, or the infinite blue skies.”

“I’m going to kill you,” Yukio grits his teeth, but does nothing to fulfil that threat. He is just happy to see you laughing so openly. However, when Moriyama opens his mouth to follow your suggestion, Yukio lunges, chasing the other boy down the street, keeping up easily whilst carrying two bags. Moriyama just screams bloody murder as he sprints towards the school gates. The chaos earns the boys some unwanted attention, but they don’t seem to care. You just giggle, walking after them.

You run into Kobori by the gate who greets you with a kind smile, “Welcome back.”

“Thank you, it’s good to be back.” The two of you follow the sounds of pained howls of Moriyama. Yukio must have caught him. And together you make your way towards your classrooms. Moriyama and Yukio separate from you, but not before Kobori promises to keep an eye on you until you all see each other at lunch or in other lessons.

You ignore the looks and whispers from other students who have clearly noticed that the girl who landed herself in the hospital is finally back. But you ignore all of it for the benefit of searching for something else, or rather somebody else. You look around, neck stretching as you look in every direction, but no Kise.

And then you stop in your tracks. You see a crown of golden hair in the distance and your legs move to follow it without hesitation, but you quickly lose him in the dense crowd of students. You stand there feeling a bit frustrated, about to try again.

“Is everything okay, (L/N)-chan?”

Kobori has caught up to you, having to fight his way through the waves of students too.

“Yeah… Sorry.” Before you can get any other ideas, the first bell rings and you have no choice but to hurry to your classroom. You will have to try again later.

Your classmates stare at you, some looking apologetic, some are looking away in guilt. It all hardly matters to you, you take your designated seat and so does Kobori who quietly tells you a bit more about what topics they have been discussing and what surprise quizzes to expect, but you tune him out a little. It doesn’t matter to you much either when your homeroom teacher welcomes you back warmly, not as much as you had thought it would. You send her a smile that does not quite reach your eyes.

The lessons drag on, but at least the teachers are going easy on you even though you have mostly caught up thanks to Yukio and Kobori. You unconsciously massage the scar on your temple as your doctor had demonstrated, looking out the window, following with colourful leaves blowing in the wind with your eyes.

Finally, lunch comes around and you hurry towards the cafeteria, Kobori in tow. Yukio, Moriyama, Hayakawa and Nakamura are already waiting. You take a seat between Yukio and Moriyama, absent-mindedly reaching into your backpack for your homemade lunch your father had made for you.

The others engage in some light conversation whereas you keep looking around for that one person who has yet to arrive at your table.  You barely touch your food and soon enough Yukio loses his patience.

“Why are you looking around like that? Are you trying to wring out your neck like a t-shirt? And you barely touched your food. Your dad even made you your favourite so eat it, baka.” He points it out to you. And he is right, you were so focused on something else, or perhaps distracted that you hadn’t even noticed that your father had indeed made your favourite.

“Soryy, it’s just that…” you reach for a bite of the food with your chopsticks distractedly, “Where is Kise-kun?”

And that halts the conversation completely. It’s clear to you that they have been forcefully trying to ignore the obvious with the talking, but it formed a strange atmosphere instead. “Why isn’t he sitting with us?”

It’s Kobori who sets his chopsticks down and clears his throat, “Kise-kun hasn’t sat with us for weeks now.”

“What? Why? Did you ask him?”

“I mean, we tried, but he has been acting really weird lately.” Moriyama jumps in.

“Yeah, it’s been getting on my nerves.” Yukio grumbles next to you. And you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

“He hasn’t been talking to anybody during practice either!” Hayakawa joins in, still chewing on a piece of meat, not looking too bothered at the strange atmosphere.

“It’s true,” Nakamura speaks for the first time, readjusting his glasses a bit. “He has been strangely quiet and withdrawn. He still comes to practise and trains with everybody else, but it’s almost like we’ve gone back to the start of the school year.”

Your eyes widened in shock, head snapping in Yukio’s direction, “Why didn’t you mention this to me?”

“Cause you were recovering.” He retorts, looking a mixture of guilt and nervosity.

“And who is keeping things from whom now?” You snap at him. You look at the others, “You knew and you didn’t tell me either?” Their guilty looks tell you everything.

You grab your bag, leaving your lunch box behind. You take three steps, filled with frustration before you hit the brakes abruptly before anybody has a chance to call out after you. You turn slowly and walk back, stopping right next to Yukio’s chair. They are all looking at you with different degrees of nervousness, some of them look like they wish to disappear under your stare, some look like they wish to flee.

“Sorry,” you say which seems to shock them, they must have been expecting another verbal attack, “that was shitty of me to say. I know you meant well, you didn’t wish to stress me out, but still, you should have told me. I would prefer a painful truth than a white lie.”

After a moment, Yukio speaks first, “It’s fine, I get it. And I’m sorry too.” The other boys follow his lead, a swarm of apologies reaches your ears.

Your eyes soften and you look to the side, releasing a breath before you look at your friends again. “I forgive you.” And you mean it. Your approval seems to lighten the mood, “But I think I want to be alone for a while. I’ll see you all later.”

Yukio probably calls after you, but Kobori stops him in his pursuit which you are immensely grateful for. You weave through the crowds of students until you reach the much emptier hallway. Colder air caresses your face compared to the stuffy cafeteria. You find the closest empty corner and rest your back against the wall there. The cold, hard wall is doing wonders to your kindling temper.

You take a few breaths. You inhale for four, hold for two and exhale for four. You repeat the process until you feel completely calm. Staring out the window opposite of the wall where you are leaning, you think for a while. About what the boys told you, how Kise has been closed-off, how he hasn’t been answering any of your messages, the injury and bullying. It all begins falling into place more and more.

You begin walking aimlessly around the school grounds for the rest of the lunch break. From the long hallways to the school gardens. You’re not sure where you are going, if you have a destination, you just wander aimlessly.

And then it happens.

You weren’t trying to look for Kise, not deliberately, and yet. He is sitting on a bench in a warm coat under some trees, leaves are gently falling around him and the wind caressing his hair gently. It’s an enchanting sight. He is looking at something on his phone.

“Kise-kun,” you whisper with bated breath, like you can’t believe you found him so easily when you weren’t even looking.

His eyes snap up and he jumps like a startled cat. For a long moment, he looks at you like he has just seen a ghost.

“(L/N)-senpai!” He yelps loudly and almost slips on a small puddle of rainwater as he scrambles from his seat. “Y-you’re back!”

“I am.” When you finally get a closer look at him like this, he looks tired, barely noticeable bags under his eyes concealed with a little bit of make up. His hair is ruffled compared to the usually perfect shape it holds. He looks a bit thinner too. You wonder how well he has been eating these past few weeks. His overall appearance dishevelled. You just want to step closer and give your friend a hug.

He seems to be doing the same thing you are, taking you in, head to toe. His golden orbs scan over your face and land on the two inch scar situated on your temple. The pink and tenderness of it makes it look worse than it actually is.

Then his eyes travel down slightly and he observes the white cast in a sling. His gaze looks pained, guilty even. His gaze continues downward, wondering how many bruises or healing scrapes might be hiding under the warm tights to keep you warm during the cold autumn days.

You break the strange energy in the air by taking a step closer, then another. “I missed you, Kise-kun. I’m very happy to see you again.”

Kise gulps nervously, taking a step back to create a distance between you. He is avoiding your eyes now, looking at the ground, tense and curled into himself. You notice how his fists, placed firmly by his sides, tighten and release sporadically.

“Kise-kun?” You try again when he says nothing, taking a step closer. He just mirrors you and takes a step back. You stop, brows furrowed. Is he afraid of you? Have you given him a reason to be? Doubt begins stirring in your gut, but you push through it again, your stubbornness clearing the way for your concern like a snowplough on a snowy road.

“What’s wrong, Kise-kun?” You reach your arm forward and the tension finally snaps like a string that cannot hold the weight anymore.

“Don’t touch me!” He screeches like you had burned him, like a simple touch from your disgusts him. “Stay away! Don’t come anywhere near me!”

Your offered hand freezes in the air, he has never raised his voice at you like that before. 

“What are you talking about, Kise-kun? Did I do something wrong?” His breath stutters, a small cloud leaving his mouth with every puff.

“I’m your friend. You can tell me if I did something wrong and I’ll do my best to make it right. Please, just don’t push me out.” You beg softly.

“We’re not friends!” Those words are like a punch to the gut, somehow it hurts more than your fractured ribs did. What did he just say?

“You…Y-you don’t mean that, Kise-kun.” You try to sound confident, but it comes out more as a question, an uncertainty.

“I don’t want to be your friend! In fact, we were never friends to begin with! I just took pity on you, because I thought you were pathetic!” Every word feels like a stab right to the heart, but you push on, you refuse to believe this.

“The kind Kise-kun I know would never say these things. Why are you acting like this?”

He just ignores your concerns, stepping around you, attempting to flee, “Stop bothering me! You’re like a whiny, clingy leech that I just can’t shake off!” He shouts in your face,  “I want nothing to do with you anymore! You disgust me.” And he storms off, sprinting past you.

It takes you a second to recover.

“Kise-kun!” You whirl around, running after him, but he already has a head start and the distance between you is great and the rift just seems to grow no matter how fast you run. “Kise-kun!” His legs are so much longer and he is  an athlete. Just like that, he disappears behind the corner and when you finally reach it, he is nowhere to be found.

You stand there for a moment, defeated. Your ribs creak from the effort as you attempt to catch your breath.

I don’t want to be your friend.

You’re like a whiny, clingy leech!

You disgust me.

The words replay in your head like a broken record player and a single tear slips past before you can catch it. Did he really mean it? Why would he say things like that?

You don’t get much more time to think about it further, because you what you had initially thought to be your own sobs. However, you find that it is not. You can hear it clearly now, somebody is crying. You look around a bit before you find the source.

A girl, curled up into a ball on the ground, sobbing into her lap, face hidden behind her arms, tucked carefully in her knees.

“Hey,” you say, feeling a bit unnerved and uncertain after what just took place not even a minute ago, “are you okay?”

The girl screams in surprise and startles so badly that she, you could have sworn, jumped like three feet in the air.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” You say apologetically.  She just stares at you like she has seen a ghost like you are a figment of her imagination before she bursts into tears again, sobbing even louder, uncontrollably almost. You  are startled by the outburst, but quickly recover.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?” You scan her over, the only obvious damage you can see are the scrapes on the palms of her hands. “Did you fall? May I have a look?”

She doesn’t answer, she just begins apologising over and over again, “I’m sorry, sorry, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do it! I didn’t mean for that to happen. It’s all my fault!”

You are unsure what to do here, but then a flash of recognition hits you in the face like that one time when you were still in elementary school and you took a basketball to the face, because you were helping Yukio learn how to pass it properly.

“You’re Utsumi-chan, right? Utsumi Rin? I remember you from art club. You’re excellent at shading, your still life was beautiful. You should be in your first year I think.” 

Her loud sobs soothe a bit and turn into quiet sniffles, “Y-you remember me?”

“Of course, I remember everybody who comes to explore the world of art with me.” You give her a toothy grin. More tears slip out of her eyes and you offer her some paper tissues in your backpack.

“Now, take a few deep breaths and dry your tears,” you rummage around your school bag with your good hand, looking for your first aid kit. “You should also drink some water too. To hydrate, you might get a headache otherwise.” She nods along and sips on her drink quietly.

“May I see your hands, Utsumi-chan?” She complies.

You take a look, scrapes with drying blood and dirt, you will have to clean it really well first before you put on plasters. You ask her to hold her hands out and you clean some of the dirt with the water in your bottle. Then you find the disinfectant and set one of her hands on your thigh, palm up.

“This might sting a bit,” she flinches lightly when the disinfectant connects with her skin, you clean out the rest of the dirt gently with a wipe before you spray it once more with the disinfectant.

“What plaster would you like? I have cars, flowers, kittens, puppies?” She ends up with kittens and flower plasters. It took some effort to place the plaster on properly with only one hand, but you managed. “Were you hurt anywhere else?” She shakes her head, hiccuping a bit still.

You blow lightly on her injury a little and smile at her, “There, isn’t that much better?”

You turn to her again, she is looking at your handiwork, lips a little wobbly, like nobody has ever been kind to her before.

“Utsumi-chan, tell your senpai what happened. Tell me what’s bothering you and I will do my best to help you.” She bites her lips like she is deciding if she should or not, looking nervously between you and the ground.

“Cause if somebody is hurting you…” she flinches and you know that is the reason for her sadness and distress.

And it comes full circle to you. A bit hypocritical of you if anything. Weren’t you in a similar situation, if not the same, just a few weeks ago until it got so bad the police had to get involved?

“You know, not too long ago, I didn’t tell my friends I was hurting too and I got hurt really bad. But then I found it in myself to be brave and tell them that I was struggling even if I felt the consequences would be dire, because I knew I would at least have them to help me and hold me up until I’m on my feet again. So don’t carry it on your own and let somebody carry it with you, cause it’s quite heavy, isn’t it?” 

She listens to the story quietly, eerily so, and more silent tears spill. You pull her head into your lap and pet her hair for a while until she calms down once more.

“I know we’re not that close, but I’ll look out for you if you let me, Utsumi-chan.”

“Thank you,” she finally speaks, croaking out the words from the tightness in her throat. She sits up slowly and dries her tears once more.

“How is your arm, senpai? Does it hurt a lot?”

You smile at her fondly and wink, “Only a little, but I can handle it.”

A huff of a smile paints her face, she has a lovely smile. In fact, when she smiles, pimples accompany the pretty sight. You go on to say more, but then the bell goes off, indicating lunch break is over now.

“I should get back to class. Thank you so much, senpai!” Her voice is gentle and shaky still. She bids you goodbye and begins walking away quickly.

“Utsumi-chan! If you ever need anything, come find me!” You call after her, hoping your words reached her heart.

—

Your attempts to corner Kise for the next few days to try and speak with him seem almost hopeless. Every time he sees you, he either slips away, hidden away by the crowd. How a six  foot two man manages to do that is beyond the limits of your comprehension.

You look for him during breaks in the hallways, during lunch in the cafeteria, in the gardens, you even peek into his home room once or twice, but he never seems to be anywhere. It frustrates you beyond measure. 

You haven’t dared to try and corner him during practice to avoid causing Yukio any trouble. 

“Hey,” Yukio breaks you out of your stupor, “He’s really avoiding you, huh?”

“Yeah,” you bite your lip to keep the tears of frustration at bay. You plop down laying on Yukio’s bed. He sits closer to the edge, strumming a melody of the latest song he has been attempting to master.

“I just… I just don’t understand what I did wrong, all the things he said. It hurt so much to hear it, but I saw it in his eyes that it hurt him to say it even more, like it pained him to do it… So why? I’m not upset with him and as far as I know, I haven’t done anything.”

“He’s just being an stupid idiot. I can still beat him up for you.”

“Don’t say that about him, and please, don’t.” you turn on your side and lightly kick Yukio’s thigh, he tries to pinch you in return, but you retreat just in time.

“He kinda deserves it with how he has been acting, it’s completely ruining our team dynamic and teamwork, I mean just last weekend, we almost lost a match against a team we normally beat with ease.”

You hum thoughtfully, you haven’t been to the match, you had a doctor’s appointment regarding your cast, it should be taken off pretty soon. You sign drawing random shapes into Yukio’s pillow. “Would you play me some more, please?” You request.

“Sure.”

“And, Yukio?”

He hums, listening as he strums the strings of his instrument.

“If you’re gonna have to kick Kise, don’t do it too hard.”

Yukio scoffs, “No promises… but for you, I guess I can try.”

You smile and allow the fluid melody to take you to a different place, just for a while.

—

It takes you some time, but you finally put your foot down and decide to visit the art room with Tomiko. You would like to resume the art club as early as the circumstances allow. You miss being able to create wonderful things with people who hold the joy and passion for the same subject as you do.

A teacher hands you the key and you make your way up to the room. Your steps echo in the otherwise empty hallway, Tomiko skipping loyally by your side. And you finally reach the door. You take a moment, just looking at it, your nerves in all kinds of tangles from anticipation. 

Tomiko waits patiently as you insert the key and turn it. It makes the familiar clicking sound and you push it open. The air in the room is a bit stuffy from disuse, but it still holds the familiar tinge of  art equipment, paints and old paper.

You step in, looking around, the room is neatly clean.

Time to bring it back to its previous glory. You walk around, exploring every corner, every detail, dictating all things needed to Tomiko who is writing everything down dutifully. Once your done with that, the two of you clean a little, though Tomiko insists you should strain yourself so the injuries do not become aggravated, you wave her concern off.

And so you get to work. Vacuum the floors, then mop them. Dust everything in the room, the tables, the chairs, the cupboards and drawers, clean the windows and other responsibilities. You go through them one by one. Tomiko takes on the more physically demanding tasks, though it took some effort to convince you.

You take out the current equipment, count it some more and rearrange and sort it properly. You are going through some art books and magazines when something falls on your head. You yelp in surprise and rub the spot on your head where it landed.

“Are you okay?” Tomiko calls, worried, from her spot where she is cleaning the windows.

“I’m okay! It just startled me.” She takes your word and you bend down to lift the fallen magazine, but freeze, kneeling. It lays open on a random page, but you recognize it immediately. It’s the magazine from your photoshoot with Kise. Did Tomiko misplace her copy of it here? Your fingers graze the page carefully. Kise’s cheerful face and your own smile staring right back at you in one of the many outfits they put on you that day. 

You stare at it a bit longer, before you close the magazine and place it into your backpack. With new determination, you quickly finish sorting everything and help Tomiko finish cleaning.

You don’t stand by idly. You rush home, waiting for Yukio to do the same. You need to speak with him.

—

Whilst waiting, you thumb through every page of the magazine and do something that you haven’t done in weeks now. You take out your sketchbook and start with some light doodles, eventually you move on to copying some of the outfits in the magazine.

You are adequate with your non-dominant hand, you have trained it well since your last bone fracture. It’s one of the reasons you are not hopeless in class and can take your own notes now even though your arm is broken again. The handwriting isn’t as neat as it would be with your other hand, but it’s enough. The same can be said about the sketches it conjured on the papers.

Eventually, the light in Yukio’s room turns on and you send him a message in a bucket, the bell rings and a minute later the window opens. You have been using this form of communication a bit more the past few weeks even though your phone has already been returned.

Yukio sends you a questioning look from the window, which you answer with a shrug. He invites you, waving you over with his hand. You rush over and soon you’re seated on his comfy bed once again.

“I need your help.” You start, eyes filled with determination.

“Okay, I’m listening.”

“I really need to speak with Kise-kun.” You scratch at your neck, “I’ve been trying to get him to talk to me for days now, but he always slips away or avoids me.”

“And what am I supposed to do about it? ”

You send him a look. And it clicks, recognition evident in his eyes.

“No.”

“Please.”

“I said no.”

“I’ll do literally anything, Yukio.”

“No, no way. You said you wouldn’t.”

“And I kept that promise, I’ve been keeping my distance from practice and matches not to mess you up, but I fear I won’t be able to catch him anywhere else.”

Yukio looks reluctant. 

“Pleaseee,” you pull out the puppy eyes. “It could help your team dynamic as well.”

“Or make it worse,” Yukio retorts. You just keep looking on hopefully as he seems to think about it. “Fucking… fucking fine, but I’ll kill you if you get me kicked off the team.”

“Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” You embrace him, rubbing your cheek against his.

“I get it, stop it!” He tries to fight off your iron grip. You just smile at him like you have just won the lottery.

“And they wouldn’t.”

“What?”

“They wouldn’t kick you off the team, you’re far too important for that.”

“You sap.”

“I mean, who would kick all the newbies into obedience!” You joke, eyes sparkling with mischief.

“You’re such an ass! I’m gonna kick you into obedience!” You just cackle loudly, trying to escape his attempts to tickle you.

—

“Oi, Kise, you’re on cleaning duty! Put away all the balls!”

“What? But, senpai! You already kicked me so many times today and now I have to clean up too?” Kise complained loudly to his captain.

“Whine and I’ll have you run extra laps as well!” Kasamatsu-senpai barked back.

So, Kise shut his mouth to spare himself further abuse. At this point, his senpai’s shoeprints were imprinted into his back, he rubs at the sore spots unconsciously, forcing his body to move. His teammates, who pass by him to go get changed, send him looks filled with sympathy.

Kise walks around the court, collecting each basketball and throwing it in the designated ball cart. He was exhausted, Kasamatsu-senpai ran them all into the ground, the captain has been more irritable lately.

Kise continues with the work and doesn’t even notice as every single player pours out of the room until the basketball court becomes completely silent. Only the sound of his step bounced off the walls. He was too distracted, too stuck in his head overthinking everything.

He had trouble focusing on anything lately. The exhaustion caused by the stress and overthinking has been messing him up, but it’s for the best. He knows that. Even if it hurts him, he chose to do what he thought was for the best.

He throws another ball without looking and it lands in the cart. God, why did senpai order him to do this? He just wanted to go home and spend another night trying to fall asleep when he knew sleep would evade him like a cloud of smoke, slipping through his fingers.

Then the main entrance closed with a soft click, but the sound bounced off the walls anyway. And Kise startled, thoughts of self-deprecation momentarily forgotten. His eyes follow the sound and land on a sight he was most definitely not prepared for mentally or in any other way, really.

“Hello, Kise-kun,” you speak, voice balanced and controlled, but it lacks the usual enthusiasm. The words that would usually brighten his day feel like a bucket of freezing cold water poured over his head, “I didn’t want to do this, but I really need to speak with you and this seems to be the only way how to achieve that, so you will have to forgive me for such a cruel trick.”

He drops the ball he was holding, suddenly realising why he was assigned cleaning duty, “Wait, Kasamatsu-senpai was in on this?”

“Please, don’t blame Yukio, Kise-kun. I kinda forced his hand.” A jolt of emotion surged through him, sharp and relentless, like electricity sparking under his skin. 

Kise’s chest burned with anger at being tricked, but beneath it, sharper, was fear. Raw and instinctive, like a cornered animal with nowhere left to run. He wasn’t ready for this. He couldn’t be.

All he had been trying to achieve was for you to hate him. If you hated him, you’d leave. If you left, you’d be safe. From him, from everything that seemed to follow him like a shadow. As much as he used to enjoy the attention and recognition for his modelling and basketball achievements, now they feel more like a curse or a burden.

But you just wouldn’t stay away. You remained, stubborn and relentless, even after everything he’d said. Even after every cruel word, every ugly insult he’d forced past his lips just to push you away.

And now, the guilt wouldn’t stop. It prickled beneath his skin, sharp and unrelenting, like a thousand tiny needles he couldn’t escape.

Kise steadied himself. He would continue to protect you from himself even if it meant losing such a wonderful friend.

“I don’t want to talk, senpai. I told you I don’t want anything to do with you.”

You take a few steps closer, “I don’t think you really want that. Why are you lying, Kise-kun?” Why did you have to be so good at reading him? Most people weren’t, so why did it have to be you?

“I’m-I’m not lying,” he stutters, he will force the words to be the truth if he has to.

You walk closer, steadily and calmly like you’re trying not to startle a frightened animal. Kise just keeps backing away. The door, he needs to get to the door. He slips past you, desperate to get away, because he knows he won’t be able to keep up the pretense and the lies any longer. Not with how perceptive you are, not with how insistent you are, not with how kind and considerate you are. Not with how your eyes glisten with concern and care even after he had said those carefully crafted lies that tore him up from inside.

He rattles the door handle, feeling out of breath and unbalanced, but it doesn’t budge no matter how hard he pushes and pulls.

You watch him in his desperation, he is behaving like a cornered animal. For a moment, you feel like you have taken this too far by having the door locked and just give up, because what if he is truly so disturbed by your mere presence. You resolve falters, but only momentarily.

Kise has moved on from trying to open the door, he ran to the middle of the court, looking for even the smallest gap he could escape through, but everything seems pushing against his intentions, the windows, the doors. He looks up at the stands desperately.

He shuffles to the edge of the court in an attempt to find a proper place to grab and try to lift himself up, gaze avoidant no matter how fixedly you look at him.

“Kise-kun.” You call to him, voice almost vacant when you witness his desperation to get away, to escape.

“Kise-kun, stop.” You try again.

However, you are completely ignored. Another feeling accumulates in your chest until it becomes unbearable (perhaps it’s been for a while) and you grit your teeth, your eyes sharpen. You don’t fight against it. Normally, you would keep such feelings at bay, the frustration and fury, but in this case, it is simply impossible to hold it in any longer.

“Kise Ryota! Come back here right now!” It startles him so much that his grip almost slips. He has never heard you raise your voice like this, not directly at him at least, not like this. His heart follows the sound, but his mind has to force it to a stop. He knows he will lose if looks at you now, even for a second.

“Look at me, Kise Ryota!” You roar louder, the words bouncing off the wall like arrows uncontrollably.

“Noo! Stay away!” He begs, eyes tightly shut, his body curling up on itself.

“Kise Ryota! Give me one good reason to! I dare you!” How he had wished to hear you say his name, for weeks now, but not like this. You sound so enraged. He blinks tears that are trying to escape away, eyes tightly shut.

F-fine!” Frantically, he racks his brain for a solution. He simply must get away. “You want a reason, senpai?! T-then, then… I hate you!” He regrets the words before they even slip past his lips completely, but he cannot take it back. It’s already too late. He was so desperate, so panicky to force you away that he managed to utter the biggest lie of all. This was the last thing he ever wanted to say to you.

The silence that followed was deafening. Suffocating.

The words twist painfully inside your chest like a dagger. Your body is locked in place. And you genuinely can’t tell if the pain is from your ribs… or from your heart breaking.

A painful gasp slips past your lips and you stumble, hand resting over your rib cage. It hurts so much.

“Senpai!” You think you hear Kise, but everything is muted, like you’re under water.

Your knees hit the floor, but the pain is nothing compared to the disarray under your ribcage. You try to breathe through it and it works, a little. The pain retreats slowly until it’s just a painful sting.

Suddenly, Kise is kneeling next to you, one hand hovering over your back, but not quite touching. The light warmth, usually a comfort, burns uncomfortably. His face is mere centimetres away from your face, golden orbs filled with concern as they scan over your body, looking for the source of the pain.

“Senpai, what’s wrong? Is it your injury? I’ll go get help!” He tries to stand, but a firm grip on his arm stops him in his tracks. His eyes move down until they find your fingers wrapped around his wrist like a viper, unwilling to let go. You breathe through the residue of pain, grip tightening around Kise when he attempts to pull away again.

You grit your teeth and meet his gaze head on. He is not slipping through your fingers, not this time. “If you truly hate me so much, Kise-kun… Then say it to my face.” The intensity, the resolve, the fire in your eyes surprises him. Usually, your eyes would twinkle happily when you laugh like little stars, sometimes they would glisten dangerously when you’re about to prank Kasamatsu–senpai or tease Kise mercilessly.

But this was a different kind of danger.

“Look at me and say it to my face if you really mean it! Don’t you dare look away!” You grab the front of his shirt and tug on it, until he is forced to look at you and only you, and nothing else.

“Say you hate me and mean it and I will leave you alone, I’ll never bother you again with my disgusting presence, Kise-kun.” Everything about you seems to intensify, but your voice is quiet, but full of density. The words felt like a slap.

He hesitates. “Say. It.” You insist, sounding out each word..

“I… I can’t,” his voice breaks, tears that he has been holding in this entire time finally coming out, pulling away a tad, but your iron grip doesn’t permit him any further.

“Say you hate me! Say it to my face!”

“I-I…I can’t!” More tears fall free.

“I-I can’t do it,” he sobs. “I don’t hate you, senpai! I could never hate you!” And the gate force opens and a flood follows, a flood of tears and emotions that have been suppressed for far too long. Kise curls up on himself where he is kneeling on the ground next to you. He looks so small, shaking on the ground like that. Your grip on his collar loosens and falls to your side.

“If anything, you should hate me for what I did!” You blink, caught off guard. Where did this come from? Hating Kise-kun? It’s impossible for you to feel any hate towards the boy. So, you rest your palm between his shoulder blades instinctively. He flinches at the contact at first, like  he is not expecting the gentleness of the action. It breaks your heart more than anything.

Caressing his back gently, smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt, you speak.

“I was once told that nothing is impossible in life, but now I see that’s not true, because I could never hate you, Kise-kun. It is simply unfeasible.” Your hand moves up to stroke his hair next, in soothing motions. His hair is wet with sweat, but you don’t mind, you never do. He is still crying, silent tears streaming down his face.

“Can you look at me, Kise-kun? Please?” He does, barely lifting his head, his eyes are red and puffy. The sight breaks your heart further. He must have been hurting so much this entire time, thinking that the horrible actions of others were his fault.

You cup his cheek and wipe away the stray tears with your thumb and the back of your hand with utmost care. “What happened wasn’t your fault. None of it, Kise-kun.” His face crumbles again, lower lip wobbling and more tears fall.

He sniffles, babbling wetly, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, senpai!” He apologises over and over again, because he is not sure what else to say to make things right. “I didn’t mean it, senpai! I want to keep being friends! I like being friends with senpai! And spending time together! And taking walks in the park! And eating ice-cream together and … and …!” His speech breaks off with another sob that wrecks his body.

Seeing your sweet kouhai in so much distress, you shuffle forward on your knees, reaching forward, your warm palm pressing lightly against his nape and you pull him closer, resting his head in the spot between your shoulder and neck. “I know you didn’t mean any of it, Kise-kun. I like being friends with Kise-kun too.”

His hair falls over your shoulder like golden curtains, warm tears imbibe into your blazer. You leave your hand resting against his nape, drawing slow circles with your thumb, swaying you both in what you hope is a comforting manner. Kise’s arms wrap around you like he is afraid you might disappear. You allow him to cry, releasing all the pent up grief.

“There, there, Kise-kun. Everything’s okay now.”

Eventually, his crying ceases and releases his grip on you, moving back a little bit, you move your hand away and give him the space. He fondles his fingers nervously, biting on his lower lip anxiously as one or two more hiccups stir him. He wipes away the reminder of his tears.

“I just thought that if I pushed you, they wouldn’t try to hurt you anymore, that if I…” his voice catches in his throat, “that if I ended our friendship even though it hurt so bad, so so bad, senpai, that you would at least be safe.”

You allow to say his piece before you share your own sentiments.

“You don’t get to decide that for me, Kise-kun.” You say firmly,  “Friendship is a two-way street. You don’t get to cut me out like that in some kind of twisted way you consider protection.” You clear your throat, “I know you meant well, but shutting me out like that hurt more than any  bullying or my injuries, Kise-kun.” It’s a bit cruel to say, but he needs to hear it.

“You’re my friend, Kise-kun, I won’t let you push me away because you feel guilty for the horrible actions of others.” You offer him your hand, palm up and relaxed. Looking at it through golden locks, his hand hesitantly reaches out, resting on your own. 

You squeeze it, smiling at the younger boy, “I would like to be friends again, Kise-kun.”

“I … I would like that too.”

“Good, then it’s settled.” Your smile widens and an indication of a smile graces the blond’s face too. You allow the moment to simply be.

However, eventually your knees begin hurting from sitting on the hard floor for too long, so you shift to stand up, “Come on, Kise-kun.” You never let go of his hand. He follows you up on his feet, a bit wobbly. “Let’s go home.”

“But… But how are we going to get out of here, senpai? Everything is locked?”

You rummage through your pocket and pull out the key. “Oh,” Kise makes a face, “You had the key the whole time?!”

You smile guiltily, “Oops.”

…

“Senpai!” A tornado of blond hair hurls into you, “I missed you!” His chin rests on top of your head, warm arms wrap around your shoulder. You recognise the person immediately.

“Hello, Kise-kun,” you pat his upper arm, firm muscles under your fingertips, “I missed you too.” You cannot help but smile.

“Oi, be careful with her, Kise idiot!” Yukio shouts, but is swiftly ignored. He attempts to kick at the boy, but he just hides behind you to avoid the attacks. You giggle happily, your laughter tinkling like little bells.

“How are you today, senpai?” he tilts his head at you curiously. His eyes shine brightly, filled with energy and life. You missed the sight, but you no longer need to. After your conversation, things have finally returned (slowly but surely) to normal. Kise looks happier, livelier, like he usually is. THe bags under his eyes have disappeared and with continuous snacks from you and Yukio, he has gained some healthy weight once again.

You answer his question. “I’m well today. How are you, Kise-kun?” 

“Great!” replies Kise cheerfully.

“And what are we, chopped liver?” Moriyama grumbles.

“Sorry, senpai! How are you?”

“I don’t want to answer anymore,” Moriyama pouts. You quickly change the subject, asking them about lunch. Quickly, Kise begins talking your ears off. And you don’t mind, not one bit.

—

You didn’t see much of Utsumi Rin after that one fateful meeting. You just hoped she’s doing okay. Sometimes you wanted to seek her out, but you felt like it would be unwanted. You’re just walking home with Tomiko when she stepped into your path.

“Utsumi-chan, hello!” You are so happy to see her.

“Hello, (L/N)-senpai, Komatsu-senpai.” She answers shily.

“It’s so nice to see you again.” You mean it, genuinely. Tomiko looks a bit confused next to you.

“Tomiko-chan, do you remember Utsumi-chan? She made the beautiful still life that we really liked.” That helps your friend recognise the girl.

“Yes, yes, I do.” Tomiko observes curiously.

“Senpai…” Utsumi speaks.

“Yes, Utsumi-chan?”

“You said I could come to you if…right?” She doesn’t finish the question, but you understand.

“Of course, what can I do for you?”

“I was wondering if you could come with me.” She looks nervously between you and Tomiko.

“Sure, lead the way.”

“Now, hold on a second.” Tomiko wraps her hand around your upper arm, “Where exactly are you taking (F/N)-chan, cause there is no way I’m letting her out of my sight after what happened.”

The girl looks speechless for a moment.

“Tomiko-chan,” you say, partially confused, partially firm.

“That’s fine,” answers Utsumi eventually.

“Let’s go then,” Tomiko keeps her arm linked with her as you follow the quiet girl back to school, up some stairs and down the hallway. She stops in front of a teacher’s lounge and knocks on the door. Tomiko and you exchange confused looks.

A teacher, who is still present at this hour, opens the door. And Utsumi utters words that rattle you to your very core.

“Hello, sensei, I want to report bullying.”

—

You still cannot wrap your head around what you witnessed that day. Utsumi took you to report bullying that she had caused. Sweet Utsumi looked as though she wouldn’t hurt a fly. Looks can be quite deceiving.

She explained everything to the teacher present, how she was approached by a group of girls that she didn’t know, because they were aware she was a part of the art club and would be able to do their bidding, unlikely to get caught.

She knew where to get the key, she knew when nobody would be in the classroom, she knew what time would be perfect to strike. They had managed to distract the teacher so she could slip in and steal it to unlock the door with.

After that, it was smooth sailing, knocking over things, destroying and tearing anything within reach and, leaving a lovely message for the girl who was taking away their sweet Kise Ryota, scaring her enough that she would no longer want anything to do with the handsome model.

However, they miscalculated one thing. You caught them in the act. Somehow, you had found out and came back to see what was happening. You saw their faces and witnessed their actions. They would get in huge trouble if they allowed you to leave now to tell a teacher.

So, two of the girls grabbed you and covered your mouth so you couldn’t call anybody over. The leader, a mean girl with the face of an angel, devised a horrible plan. They would really make you regret coming anywhere near their beloved blond model.

A few hits and kicks here and there, you fought against them with all your might, trashing and turning in their grip, trying to slip free. There was blood and there were bruises. Most of the girls were laughing.

Utsumi was tasked with recording the entire thing. For what purpose? She wasn’t sure. Your eyes shone in recognition when you looked at her, eyes pleading for help, all she did was stand there like a coward.

But at some point, things went wrong, you slammed your heels against another girl’s foot and slipped free, there was a struggle after that and it ended up with you crushed under a heavy wooden cupboard filled with books and other equipment. Unmoving, almost dead looking. The girls panicked and fled the scene. Utsumi could only stare in horror as a blood puddle gathered under your pale face.

She almost dropped her phone, stumbling over her feet to reach you and try and help, but then she heard a voice and she fled too, like a coward.

She still had the video on her phone the next day when the news of what had happened to you spread throughout the school. Later, the girls sought her out to blackmail her into deleting the video, but she refused, hiding her phone from them. And so the bullying began.

And she couldn’t tell anybody that she was getting bullied or why. Otherwise, she would end up in trouble too. She couldn’t show the footage to anybody, because then she would incriminate herself too even if the group of girls would suffer for it too. She was too much of a coward.

She told the teacher how horrible and guilty she felt the moment the entire thing happened, how she was blinded by jealousy over a boy who probably didn’t even know she existed. She did that to get the attention of a stranger who very likely wouldn’t even look her way and scoff at her attempts.

And then, there you were, a kind girl who accepted her into her club, not because she was good at art, but simply because she had expressed interest in it without almost any prior knowledge. And then, you were kind even after most of the school shunned and hurt you so badly. You saw a crying girl and your first instinct was to help her and soothe her worries. It was that interaction with you that gave her the bravery to try and make things right. So she came forward, showed the video evidence, no matter what the punishment would be.

You just stood there the entire time, unmoving, in too much of a shock to speak or act.

Tomiko was seething next to you, she was so enraged that she lunged at the girl. You’ve never seen like that before, not once in the past two years that you have known her.

It was chaos, Tomiko was screaming and shouting, trying to get to Utsumi. The poor teacher had to hold her back from physically assaulting another student whilst Utsumi just sat in a corner, crying her eyes out, apologising repeatedly to you, or to the world. You weren’t sure.

You stepped forward slowly until you were in Tomiko’s view. “Tomiko-chan,” she stopped thrashing in the teacher’s hold, “I think we should sit down.”

She was about to argue, but then she saw the look on your face, the numbness and disorientation. And how your hands were shaking where you were holding her. She had to help you sit down, because you were so pale, afraid you might be knocked over even the gentlest breeze. She helped you to a chair, her rage momentarily forgotten.

The police were called and the world returned back to motion. You might have been asked some questions, but you barely remember if you answered any from the shock. Your father had to come pick you up and he drove Tomiko home too. You didn’t talk for a while, just laid in your bed, playing everything you had learned  in your head on repeat.

Yukio arrived some time later to keep you company. He almost had a heart attack when he saw the police cars on the school property again. He sat down on the bed next to you.

“Do you… wanna talk about it?” He asked, unsure what to do. He never saw you so defeated before, not even when you broke your arm for the first time.

“No… not really…” you whispered, voice a bit raspy, licking at your dry lips.

“I could play a new song I learned on the guitar for you if you want,” he offered desperately.

“Maybe,” your voice quavered, “maybe later…”

“Can I–?” he went to try again, but you stopped him, cold fingers on his forearm.

“Just stay.” And he complies. He shuffles a bit closer and lays on the bed next to you. You don’t know for how long you stay like that, but it must have been a while, because eventually Yukio’s breath evens out, he fell asleep.

You didn’t sleep that night, whenever you closed your eyes, horrid images filled your mind, your memory kick-started into motion, suddenly remembering everything far too vividly. The only comfort was Yukio’s warm hand holding yours and his breathing next to you.

…

The girls who took part  and pleasure in hurting you ended up harshly, but rightfully so, punished for their crimes. Expulsion. Serving time in a juvenile detention facility. And endless hours of community service. As well as financial compensation for the harm and damage inflicted on your person.

You would have to go and do something related to judicial proceedings at some point, but that was the last thing on your mind. When the police came around a second time to inform you of this and many other things you didn’t say anything the whole time. You only spoke to ask about Utsumi, and when you did, you spoke up for her, pleading for her case.

You didn’t go to school for three days, but Tomiko, who came to visit you, told you that the news spread like a wildfire and she doubted anybody would try to do anything so horrible to anybody any time soon. The school would have to do some anti-bullying seminars for the students. Tomiko told you the bullies got what they deserved, she was still so angry.

You spent most of your time at home in your room, art your only current comfort.

—

Most of your friends came to say high, bring you notes or some small gifts, or just to keep you company. It felt nice.

You were afraid Kise might try and cut you out of his life again, thinking he was the culprit of your suffering.

However, you were pleasantly surprised when your father told you that the ‘tall blond boy’ was here to see you. You invited him in and the first thing he did was to hug you. Everybody’s been walking on eggshells around you for days, even Yukio, but Kise broke through your walls with one simple gesture. It felt so nice.

“Kise-kun,” you said, “you wanna go get ice-cream with me?”

“But it’s the middle of winter, senpai.”

“I know.” You say, matter of factly.

“Okay, let’s do it.” He gave you a toothy smile.

“Good, you can pick out a flavour for me and I’ll pick one for you. Deal?”

“Deal,” a grin spread on his face and he followed you out the door.

…

“Senpai, how is your lemon ice-cream?”

“Tasty,” you answer, licking leftover ice-cream off the spoon, “How is yours?”

“Very yummy! I really like the flavour you picked, senpai.” You hum thoughtfully, a dawn of a smile on your face.

“Do you feel better, senpai?”

“Much better,” a sincere smile paints your face. “Thank you, Kise-kun.”

—

The qualifiers for the Winter Cup come around, a welcome distraction. The tension, but also excitement from the upcoming event is in the air and it helps you refocus and get back on track. You observe your friends with fondness as they train hard to become a stronger, and better team together. Kise has finally come out of his shell after you had cleared things up with him and now he is once again joking around with his teammates, having fun. Their teamwork has definitely improved and Kise has been training especially.

Kise has been staying behind after training too, sometimes you join him to enjoy his company. You take in his every movement is mesmerising, executed with precision. Sometimes you regret not putting this much effort into a sport of your choice. But at least you can transform somebody else’s effort onto paper, that way it is basically immortal.

You’ve noticed the extra effort Kise has been putting into his training, that he has been trying out some new complex basketball techniques that seem particularly demanding. You ask him about it as he helps you do some simple exercise with your arm, some rotations and light flexion to slowly but surely wake up the inactive muscle. It feels nice, being friends again and having the opportunity to learn more about each other.

“You know how I’ve told you about the Generation of the Miracles, senpai?” Kise asks when he is taking a break, drinking from his water bottle.

“Yes, you mentioned your friends from middle school before.”

“Well, I’m trying to learn their techniques so I can become even stronger and help Kaijou win the Winter Cup.” He sets the bottle down and reaches for your arm, you offer it willingly. You smile at the sentiment, thoughtful. The blond is always kind, even if it might be hidden under some pretence of arrogance.

Ever since your cast has finally come off, you have surely but surely started using your dominant hand again to bring it to its initial strength and much more with physiotherapy. Kise has been especially interested in this. Asking you about your scar and arm and if he could help in any help. You humour him sometimes, it seems to bring him joy, to take care of you, so you let him.

“That’s an admirable dream, Kise-kun. You’re going to do great.” The boy seems to revel under the light praise. His hands release your arm, you’re about to pull away, but he just takes your hand gently into his and begins massaging it, from your finger tips, to your palms and wrist, up your forearm until he reaches your upper arm and shoulder. His touch makes you feel all tingly and warm, you think you might even be blushing. It’s nice to be taken care of sometimes. However, you fear Kise might spoil you, he seems to be helping you every time your paths cross.

“Tell me more about your middle school friends?”

“Sure!” He beams at you and goes on a tangent about Kuroko Tentsuya, or Kuroko-chii. You remember the boy with light blue hair from the beginning of the school year. He tells you of his talents and kindness. Kuroko seems like a very nice person.

He follows up with Aomine Daiki whom he really seems to look up to, from your understanding. You remember him as well, Touo High School. Another one of his friends, Satsuki Momoi, is the basketball team manager there. Kise says she has a very keen eye like you, an eye for detail, just in the basketball related sense. Gathering information, coming up with effective strategies to win and help the players improve. She sounds like a nice, clever girl.

You hum thoughtfully as he goes on about Midorima Shintarou, a shooting guard, who according to Kise never missed a shot. Well, at least until Kuroko and his new friend Kagami defeated him at a match he and Kasamatsu-senpai visited together.

He compares Midorima to a carrot, with his green hair and the bright orange basketball team uniforms people at Shutoku High School seem to wear. The image makes you giggle.

“Senpai has a very pretty laugh.”

“Thank you, Kise-kun, I like your laugh too,” you say, feeling a bit flustered by the sudden compliment.

He then goes on to mention two more former teammates, Murasakibara Atsushi and Akashi Seijuro. Kise presses down on a tense tangle of muscles in your shoulder arm and you hum thoughtfully. The sound embarrassed you a bit so you wiggle out of Kise’s hold on your arm and thank him for the massage. “You’re going to spoil your senpai, I think this is enough.”

“Senpai takes care of me all the time, can’t a kouhai do the same sometimes?” You straighten up and stretch a little bit to shake off the remaining feeling of the blond’s fingers on your skin.

“Did you like the massage, senpai?” He peers at you curiously, feigning innocence.

“Yes, Kise-kun, of course, I did. It seems I’m not the only one who is good with their fingers,” You tease, referring to the time you massage his injured foot for him a few times. You noticed the boy has been teasing you a bit more than usual, so it’s only natural that you return the favour. You refuse to be the only one embarrassed, not that you would ever admit that to him so easily.

“S-senpai!” A blush overtakes his face and you laugh again in delight, “I still can’t get used to you saying things like that.” He pouts like a little kid, looking to the side.

“I can stop if Kise-kun doesn’t like it?” You offer half joking, half serious.

“No! No, that’s not what I meant. I like this side of you senpai, I like all your sides.” Now it’s your turn to blush.

“I think… it’s time you resumed your training, didn’t you say you wanted to practise shooting more?” You choose your words carefully, trying to change the subject. He blond jumps into action, returning back to the court.

You watch him miss many shots, you watch others hit the hoop and bounce right off. Kise’s frustration increases a bit, but not as high as his throws, the curve increasing with every try, until it almost reaches the ceiling. More misses, and almost successes. You offer to throw him the balls back so he doesn’t need to keep walking back and forth every time, it’s good practice for your arm after all.

And finally, a high curve filled power and precision and the ball swishes right through the hoop. A score. You whoop and Kise celebrates loudly. In his joy, he picks you up and spins you around. It’s certainly a moment to be remembered.

—

You and Tomiko finally opened the art club again, only one lesson a week, not as many people come anymore. You don’t mind, at least you know they’re genuine about their return. The members work hard and you do your best to teach, Tomiko is an immense help.

When you’re both cleaning up the room afterwards, you come forward with a proposal. “Tomiko-chan, would you like to make a new banner for the basketball team with me since the last one was destroyed?”

She lights up like a christmas tree, “I would love to, (Y/N)-chan!”

“Excellent, it probably won’t be as big or as grand as the previous one, but it will be ours.”

“Yes! It will be ours!” She cheers happily.

The joy is interrupted by a knock on the door. It’s Utsumi Rin.

“Hello, (L/N)-senpai, Komatsu-senpai, may I speak with you, please?” She requests politely, avoiding your gaze. You and Tomiko exchange a look. Tomiko nods at you, trusting you with the decision.

“Of course, come in, Utsumi-chan.” You open the door wider and she slips in, making herself as small as she possibly can. Tomiko closes the door behind you, eyeing the girl suspiciously. She has yet to forgive her for what she has done unlike you.

“What did you wish to speak about, Utsumi-chan?”

She simply kneels down and bows so low until her head rests against the cold floor. You and Tomiko stare in surprise.

“I’m so sorry for what I’ve done,” she begins, “I was blinded by jealousy over somebody w-who didn’t even k-know I existed,” her voice breaks a bit as she speaks, but she manages to hold it together.

“And when the girls approached me about it, I didn’t think twice, I thought about how cruel and horrible the idea was, but I did it anyway.” Her hands curl into fist by her head. “You could have died and you don’t deserve that—” Tomiko scoffed, hands folded in front of her. You just stand there and listen to every word.

“You didn’t deserve the bullying and the hurt! You didn’t deserve any of it!” She curls up on herself further on the ground, shaking with every sob, “You’re such a kind and forgiving person. You deserve the most beautiful things in the world.”

She looks up for a moment, searching for your eyes, “And you were kind to me even after I took part in hurting you so badly, you asked me if I was okay and you cleaned my scrapes, you were just so gentle and kind! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

You step forward and slowly kneel by her head.

“I-I know… I know I don’t deserve it,” another sob wrecks her, “But I had so much fun in the art club,” she looks so sad and pitiful, but you can tell her apology is genuine, not a pretense to try and hurt you again. You can tell she was just blinded by her emotions and misguided before, “but do you think… that it would be possible for me to join again? I’ll-I’ll do anything!”

She breaks down completely, crying even harder, shaking like a leaf, she is crying so hard she can’t even speak properly anymore, you can only make out muffled apologies.

“Utsumi-chan,” you call kindly, “Can you look at me, please?”

It takes a moment, but her head lifts and you guide her into a sitting position. Her nose is red from all the crying, her eyes are puffy and still filled with tears that wet her cheeks and runny snot under her nose.

You take her hands into yours carefully, fold them one over the other and pat them gently, “it’s okay now, it’s okay, you don’t need to be sad anymore, so don’t cry anymore, Utsumi-chan, hmm?” You reach out and begin drying all the tears streaming down her face with the sleeve of your blazer.

“How can you be so kind and smile at me after I’ve been so horrible?” she collapses in on herself, but you hold her up and pull her into your warm embrace, patting her back gently as you sway her side to side gently.

She cries for a few minutes more. You look over your shoulder at Tomiko, she understands and withdraws momentarily to grab some tissues and your water bottle. Utsumi pulls back a bit once her breathing evens out a bit, drying her tears and snot with her own blazer a bit embarrassed, not looking at you.

Tomiko hands you the tissues and water and remains standing behind you.

“Utsumi-chan, look at me, please?”

She does so, reluctantly.

“I forgive you.” Three simple words, but they hold so much.

“Wait, r-really?”

“Really,” you confirm, “I forgave you a while ago, but I still appreciate your apology very much.” You hold out the objects in your hands, “Now, dry your tears and have some water. I don’t want you to get a headache from all the crying.” Her lower lip wobbles, like she might cry again at the genuine kindness she has received and does as she is told. And it is genuine, it took some time and healing, but you really did forgive her.

“Now,” you begin once she is done, “regarding your request,” you smile “I would love to have you back, Utsumi-chan,” you say, “But only if Tomiko-chan agrees too. She’s my best friend and my vice-president and together we’re a team, either we’re all in, or not at all.” Tomiko’s eyes widened, pleasantly surprised. A warm feeling spread through her body at your words, so warm that she almost slips up and smiles and breaks her ‘tough girl act’ she had come up with to defend you in front of Utsumi or others if needed.

She gives Utsumi a long, hard stare, almost a glare, and Utsumi’s eyes shy away momentarily under the wrath before she sighs and her arms fall to her sides. “Fine,” she finally says, but before Utsumi can celebrate, she adds, “but I have conditions!”

“Conditions?” You say, curious and amused combined.

“Yes,” Tomiko confirms resolutely. “If you want to be a part of the art club again, you have to earn your place and prove to us that you really mean it.”

Utsumi crawls forward a bit on her knees, “Yes, I’ll do anything!”

“Good.” Tomiko gives a nod, but then she loses her composure a little bit, “I haven’t thought far enough how she can do that,” she says, looking at you nervously, scratching the back of her neck.

You chortle at how she suddenly went from serious to her usual silly self. Then you think about it for a moment, looking between the girls and then around the classroom. Your eyes land on a piece of rolled up cloth.

“I think I have the perfect idea for that.” you smile deviously, “How would you feel about making a banner with us, Utsumi-chan?”

…

After Utsumi leaves, you turn to Tomiko with a smile, “You’re going to make an excellent art club president next year, Tomiko-chan,” you pat her shoulder as you walk past her with your backpack, “Lock the door behind you!” You call after her.

“Okay!” She says, smiling, until the words truly register in her head, “What do you mean president?! And next year?! Wait, (F/N)-chan! Come back here and explain! What did you mean by that?! (F/N)-chan!! (F/N)-chan!!” You just cackle in the distance.

—

Winter Cup finally comes around. And naturally, Kaijou qualified. You feel very excited for your friends. You, Tomiko and Utsumi have been working very hard to make the most amazing banner you could for the team to show your support, so the boys are in for a pleasant surprise.

You arrive early with the team, they plan on watching some of the other matches to scout out the competition. The event itself lasts three days. On the first day is the quarterfinals, on the second day is the semifinals and the finals take place on the third and final day. You sit next to Yukio in the stands, Tomiko on your other side, Utsumi sits quietly in the row behind you.

Seirin High School and Yosen High School are playing first, you look for Kise’s friends in the crowd of players on court as they warm up. Eventually, a giant with purple hair appears and you can only guess that to be Murasakibara.

Once the match starts, you watch the game, mesmerised. Tensions are high as both teams ready up. At first, Seirin doesn’t score any points at all, but eventually the power imbalance shifts and they start catching up. The entire time you watch the game play out, it’s impossible to say who is going to win. At one point, Tomiko grabs your hand and you squeeze back tightly. It’s not even your team and yet you feel so invested. At one point, the game gets so heated that Murasakibara breaks the hoop. You can only think, wow, Kise-kun’s friends truly are amazing.

At some point, your friends have to go change, but they seem a bit tense, so you lean closer and pat Yukio firmly on the back of your palm and give his hand a light squeeze. “You’re going to do amazing.”

In the end, it ends with Seirin’s victory.

“Sugoi!” Tomiko and Utsumi cheer. You are honestly amazed too. The teams shake hands and clear out the space for the next games.

Kaijou High School vs. Fukuda Sogo Academy.

The three of you move to a better spot so you can hang up the dedicated banner properly for your team to see. The team is already warming up, but Kise is nowhere to be found, but Yukio doesn’t seem too bothered or worried, so you let it go for now.

And yet.

…

It was very early in the morning and the team just made it  to the stadium. You walk between Tomiko and Utsumi, who are chatting excitedly. Tomiko has grown quite fond of the other girl in the past few weeks and decided to forgive her since you have done the same.

You look at the stadium in the distance, it’s not your first time here. You’ve been here with Yukio before, whether it was to watch with him or cheer him on as he plays. It’s just as enormous as you remember.

The Kaijou basketball team are giddy, excited, but also nervous looking. You don’t blame them, they are facing the strongest teams in the country, so the matches are naturally going to be challenging. However, they are strong too and worked hard, so there is no way they are going to do poorly.

You scan over the crowd of men, eyes resting on each of them until you reach Yukio’s back. He is walking back straight, head up, confident, the support and encouragement the team needs right now.

Finally, your eyes land on Kise. He is walking at the back of the crowd not too far away from you, unusually quiet.

“Excuse, Tomiko-chan, Utsumi-chan.”

You slow down your pace until you walk directly next to the blond first year.

“Hello, Kise-kun,” you greet with an easy smile. He blinks rapidly and looks at you in surprise.

“Hello, senpai.” He doesn’t say much of anything else.

“What’s on your mind, Kise-kun? You seem deep in thought.”

“Nothing gets past you, huh, senpai?” He has got very used to you reading him by now, it evokes a small smile in him. “But it’s nothing, really.”

“Hmm,” you observe him for a second, “if you say so, Kise-kun.”

The two of you walk in silence for a few minutes. “We’re playing against Fukuda Sogo Academy, senpai.” You know this, but you let him go on.

“Haizaki Shogo goes there.” He says simply, his eyes a bit distant, like he is somewhere else, thinking about something else. You think for a moment, but do not recall Kise mentioning anybody by that name.

“Who is Haizaki Shogo, Kise-kun?” You inquire and he finally looks at you.

“He is a former teammate of mine.” Kise licks at his dry lips, “He was already a part of the Teiko middle school basketball team when I joined. He played well, but he never seemed too interested in basketball. He used to skip practice all the time to play games at an arcade, go kiss some girls behind the school, or get into fights just because he found it fun. Our captain had to go hunt him down every time.”

You listen to every word attentively.

“I challenged him to a one-on-one one day, because I wanted to become a regular, because I’ve been working so hard and I knew I was good.”

“Our styles are very similar. One glance and he can copy almost every move. Except for the Generation of Miracles.”

You jump in with a question, “Is that one of the reasons you wanted to learn your friends’ techniques, Kise-kun?”

“Kinda, yeah.” He says and goes on, “I lost the one-on-one, pretty badly….” He pauses for a moment, “At the time I used to have this girlfriend,” he says, “And Shogo-kun stole her from me too. I felt so humiliated. I never managed to defeat him.”

You hum thoughtfully when he finishes his story.

“Kise-kun,” you begin and he looks at you, “I understand you have a complicated history with this Haizaki… And today’s  match will not be easy, but I know one thing for certain. You’ve worked very hard, I can attest to that, because I was there for every moment. Every attempt, every failure, every success. You will defeat him. I just know it.” The words seem to soothe a bit, a small smile appears. That is all you can ask for.

“And as for the girl… “ You continue and he eyes you curiously, “She clearly wasn’t worthy of you. You are an amazing, kind, friendly, charismatic, optimistic, smart, talented, and hardworking person. Anybody would be lucky to have you.”

A light blush colours his cheeks, “That’s a lot of compliments, senpai.”

“Yes, but they’re all true.” You declare.

He skips a little, smiling happily. “Thank you, senpai.”

“No need to thank me for the truth, Kise-kun.”

—

Eventually the teams line up, five against five. It’s Kobori at the tip-off against one of the Fukuda Sogo players.The whistle goes off and Kaijo manages to secure the ball almost immediately. Hayakawa grabs the pass from Kobori mid-air and sends it off to Yukio right away. The ball is passed around a few times and Yukio scores the first point of the game.

You, Tomiko and Utsumi cheer loudly from the stands. Fukuda Sogo tries to pull a fast one on Kaijou, but Kise blocks the shot Haizaki attempts to make. And from that point on, it’s like a dance, players moving in sync, passing the ball around with precision without even looking. You beam when Yukio pulls off his dribbling moves with ease that you have watched practice for years and it’s beautiful. Even Moriyama executes his Unorthodox Shots perfectly.

For a while, the game is in Kaijou’s favour, but then something in the air shifts. You can’t quite figure out what it is, but after a few minutes of close observation, it clicks. Kise really wasn’t lying when he said his and Haizaki techniques were similar. The Fukuda Sogo player can pull off any move after seeing it only once!

Everything was going fine, but Kaijou began losing its momentum and its cool. Haizaki easily copied the Unorthodox Shot and you and the girls could only watch with complete shock. The game wasn’t going well for Kaijou. Kise was losing his footing and it almost looked like Haizaki was taunting him. He got past Kise easily and scored another point for his team.

Is Kaijou going to lose? No, that’s not possible, not after you watched them all work so hard to get here. What to do? Is there anything you can do? You’re not a player and you have a very vague understanding of the game even though you’ve been observing the sport for years.

Kise is bracing himself on his knees, breathing heavily, he looks panicky. You do not like it.

The world seems to move in slow motion.

You stand up from your seat, bracing yourself against the railing, eyes filled with determination.

“(F/N)-chan, what are you doing?” Tomiko asks next to you in confusion.

A deep breath in.

“You can do it, Kise-kun! I believe in you!” Your voice echoes around the entire hall, loud and clear. A light-blue haired boy, who was just about to cheer on his friend too, observes you from his spot, before he gives almost a noticeable smile and sits back down. It seems that Kise has found some very good friends at Kaijou.

Kise recognised the voice immediately, he heard it loud and clear once like this before during the practise match against Seirin several months ago. Kise’s eyes search for you in the stands and when he does, you wave happily with a big smile. It makes him smile too. Tomiko and Utsumi stand up too and together you shout as loudly as you can, “Go, Kaijou!” And soon other people who came to support Kaijou High School joined in too. It’s a powerful cheer that reverberates around the entire stadium.

You sit back down, Tomiko and Utsumi still cheer together, clapping along.

You were panicking before, but then it all finally fell into place. Kise’s been training for this for months. You’ve witnessed it yourself. You know for a fact he can do what he came here to do. All he needed was a little push.

—

The rest of the game was as amazing as one could have expected. Kise successfully used his new technique, Perfect Copy, to imitate moves of the Generations of the Miracles. It was so wonderful to see it in action.

You, Tomiko and Utsumi are waiting for the boys outside so you can go celebrate the victory against Fukudo Sogo together a little and then have a proper rest. Tomiko and Utsumi are animatedly recreating some of the moves Kise pulled and chattering happily about all the cool moments. You listen to their conversation quietly.

“Well hello there, beauties.” A slimy voice speaks behind you, you all whirl around, eyes and ears wide open, observing the guy. “I couldn’t help but notice how you cheered for the Kaijou losers back there,” he motions behind himself with this thumb. You take a protective step in front of your two kouhai. 

Haizaki Shogo. You know he’s dangerous from what Kise told you this morning.

“I would say the only loser here is you, since you, well, lost the match.” Sharp eyes that seemed to have been scanning you and your friends in a way you do not like at all snap up to meet your own stubborn pair. Don’t show him any fear, you think to yourself. Keep his attention on you and get Tomiko and Utsumi out of here safely.

“Ah, I recognise you, you’re the girl who cheered for Ryota.” He steps closer, only a few paces away now, “You his girlfriend or something?” That catches you off guard, sputtering. You and Kise’s girlfriend? No way. He’s your friend and you don’t really think of him that way.

“Not his girlfriend, he’s my friend.” You spit back at him, as controlled as you can manage.

“You’ve got spunk. I like that in a girl. How about you give me your digits and I take you for a good time. I promise,” he leans in closer, “I will satisfy you better than Ryota ever could.” And then he licks his lips. His breath almost makes you gag. Tomiko’s hold on you tightens painfully when the guy gets even closer.

You are terrified, you just want to run away and hide a hole, but you force your fear that shakes your body down.

You straighten a little bit, forcing your body to relax, one hand on your hip, head tilted.

“I’m invested. How about we go right now?” You play along, a slight smirk on your face. Haizaki’s grin widens, “I knew you were a clever girl. Far too clever for an idiot like Ryota.” You have to bite your tongue not to retort.

“(F/N)-chan, w-what are you doing?” Tomiko’s voice shakes, but she refuses to let go of you.

“I’m gonna go have fun with somebody worth my time. You guys can go ahead first, hmm?” You purr, your back to Haizaki for a moment, but your eyes tell a different story.

Get out of here and get help.

I can’t just leave you here, Tomiko’s eyes beg.

Just trust me. You wink at her reassuringly.

Reluctantly, she lets go, her arm falling limply at her side. “Let’s go, Utsumi-chan. (F/N)-chan clearly found herself better company.” She grabs Utsumi by her elbow and starts dragging the confused and scared girl away.

—

Aomine knew the moment that Haizaki lost the game, that the guy was up to no good.

“Go home without me, Momoi.”

“What? Dai-chan, come back!” She called, but he ignored her like he usually did.

He wandered aimlessly around the stadium until it took him outside where it’s already dark. You could even see a few stars despite the bright city lights. The cold December air hit his face and when he breathed out, a small cloud formed.

He barely took a few steps before he heard fast running. It was two girls, wearing Kaijou colours, black, white and blue. They look absolutely terrified. The first one spots him and zeroes in on him, dragging her other friend over. Whatever they wanted, he had no time for this, he needed to find Haizaki and fast.

“Help! Help!” They called out to him. “You have to help us!”

This sounded quite dire. Aomine may be an asshole, but not that big of an asshole. “What?” He barked. He’ll just have to deal with this quickly.

“You have to help our friend! A guy from Fukuda Sogo’s got her!”

Shit. Haizaki.

“Where?” He growled.

“That way! You can’t miss them! Please, hurry!”

But Aomine was already on the move.

—

You stood there, completely alone with the guy who could very easily physically overpower you, so you needed to buy yourself time until Tomiko and Utsumi found some help.

You rested your elbows looking out at the city, head tilted towards the guy.

“You’re Haizaki Shogo,” you stated.

“I see my reputation precedes me.” He smirked, leaning on the railing lazily next to you, so close that you could feel the heat coming off his body, “But I have yet to learn your name, beautiful?”

“I’m afraid you’re gonna have to earn it,” you flirted back, but in reality you felt like throwing up.

“I like you,” he said almost in a predatory way and it sent a shiver down your spine, “We’re gonna have a lot of fun together.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” you shot back and he barked out a laugh, leaning back a bit more against the railing, looking up before he reached into his pocket and lit himself a cigarette. He took a drag and blew it upwards before he turned back to you, offering you the cancer stick.

“Want a drag?”

“I don’t smoke,” you almost said no thanks politely. “Your loss,” he took another drag and blew the next round of smoke right in your face, you did your best not to cough.

“It’s fine, you’ll be sucking on something more fun in a minute,” And he laughed again, a disgusting sound really, “Much better, much bigger and much more enjoyable than the little prick between Ryota’s legs.” Your face almost betrayed you, this guy was seriously pissing you off.

He looked out at the city, “You know Ryota’s always been inferior to me, in every way. Talent, popularity, even basketball. Not that I care for that garbage sport anyway,” he flicked the burned tip of the cigarette.

“But I especially enjoyed taking bitches from him, I even took his girlfriend in middle school for a ride, one of the better fucks I had.” He finished the rest of the cigarette and threw it lazily over the railing into the darkness of the night.

“And now I’m gonna find out just how good of a fuck you are, sweetheart.” He moved in closer and the panic and anger that have been slowly building up this entire conversation inside you blew up.

“Sorry,” you ran your fingers, shaking aggressively, from fear, up his chest as a distraction, “but you’re really just not my type. I like my men handsome,” his face morphs into something ugly, but you quickly shut it down and kick him right between the legs. Haizaki yelps in pain and you take the opportunity to try and slip by, but he is faster and his hand wraps around your wrist like a snake pulling you back and slamming you front into the railing, forcing your hands behind you. You try to wiggle free, but his grip is just too strong.

“You’re gonna pay for that, bitch,” the panic finally and truly sets in, you try to think of a retort or something, anything you could do to get yourself out of the situation. What’s going to happen to you? What is he going to do? Are you going to die? Are you going to walk out of this alive? You think about your dad and Yukio and Tomiko and Kise. Would you even have the opportunity to say goodbye. You don’t want them to blame themselves.

A loud laugh pulls you out of the mental breakdown.

“Haha, she called you ugly and she kicked you in the nuts, Haizaki, damn,” you look up and realise it’s Aomine Daiki, if the dark blue hair is anything to go by, “I mean, she ain’t wrong, you’ve got one ugly mug and your hair is even more shit than it was in middle school.” He snarls and Haizaki grows angrily.

He is about to say something, but you seize the opportunity, a moment of distraction is your triumph, and slam the back of your head right into his nose. Haizaki stumbles back, hands reaching for his nose that is bleeding heavily now. 

“That’s for trying to hurt Kise-kun during the match, you asshole!” You find your voice. You don’t wait for anything else and sprint as fast as you can to hide behind the other boy. He pulls you behind him, serving as a protective shield.

“Oh, now you’re really gonna get it. Nobody’s gonna be able to tell who you are when I’m done with you,” the blood on his face makes him look almost crazed.

“That’s not gonna happen,” Aomine growls, firm.

“It’s fine Daiki, you can have a turn with her after I’m done.”

“You’re seriously getting on my nerves, Haizaki. You really are the scum of earth.” Aomine continues, “I knew you would try to pull shit like this, trying to get revenge after Kise embarrassed you today. I was gonna let you go if you kept quiet, but that is not possible anymore after this bullshit.”

“Like I care, moron. I’m gonna do what I want, starting with Ryota’s little whore.”

“If it’s basketball, nobody will complain whatever you do. But don’t use other stupid tactics to disrupt their battle.”

“My, my, this makes me laugh. Were you always this much of a goody-two-shoes, such a hero in shining armour, Daiki?” Haizaki taunts.

“You simply lost against Kise, Haizaki. Accept it and fuck off before you make another stupid mistake.”

“I told you, Daiki, I don’t care. You saying this just makes me want  to ruin them more! I don’t care about stupid basketball and I certainly don’t care about your pathetic little feelings!”

“So,” he adds with a predatory smirk, “If you want to stop me… you’ll have to do it by force!” And he lunges with a battle cry. You’ve been listening to the conversation the entire time, trying to calm your rapidly beating heart, but you can’t watch this. You flinch away. The next thing you know, Haizaki is laying on the ground KO’d with a noticeable black eye forming on his face. Aomine is standing over him, fists clenched.

“Stay away from them,” you peer from behind him to get a closer look.

“Ah, what to do now…?” He scratched his head, puzzled, all the menacing aura disappeared in a second, “Meh, somebody’ll probably find him.”

You’re still looking at Haizaki when Aomine calls, “Oi, you coming or what?” You don’t stand by idly and jog after the blue-haired boy.

“You good?” He asks you after a while.

“I think so, yeah. Just some bruises.” You peer at his hand, “And your hand?”

“Fine,” dismisses Aomine.

“That was pretty good,” he speaks again as you walk next to each other.

“What?” You say, still a bit shaken up.

“You got that bastard pretty good. In the nuts and in the face? I mean, he takes pride in those, well, maybe not so much anymore.” He scoffs.

“You’re Aomine-kun, right?”

“Sure,” he grunts.

“Thank you for helping me, Aomine-kun,” you say, grateful.

“It’s whatever,” he waves you off, “Judging by the kick and broken nose, you would have been just fine.” You doubt that, considerably, but from what Kise told you about Aomine, this must be high praise.

“Thanks,” so you just thank him again, “I guess I understand now why Kise-kun speaks of you so fondly.” That seems to catch  him off guard a little bit, a light blush on his face.

You go on to say more, but the conversation is abruptly stopped by loud cries. You barely have the time to blink before two bodies collide with you. Tomiko and Utsumi. They hold you tightly and you hold them back.

They both sob loudly and go on about how worried they were for you and how they tried to get help and again how worried they were about you. You just stroke their hair reassuringly.

More sound of running follows and suddenly there are even more hands on you, “Oi, you good?” It’s Yukio, he is checking you over with his steely eyes.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” You try to shake off his hands, “Aomine-kun helped me—” You turn around to point out the boy, but he is nowhere to be found. Well, never mind then.

And then you are pulled into another hug. The embrace is warm and the familiar scent of Kise’s perfume tickles your nose. He is very tense so you hug him back to show him that there is no need to be to. After a moment or two he pulls back and his hands slide from your shoulders until they hold your face in them gently.

“Senpai, are you okay?! Did Shogo do anything to you?”

“Like I said, I’m okay, Kise-kun. Nothing happened, Aomine-kun was there to help me.” You reassure once more. He looks at you with such intensity, deciding whether or not he wants to believe you. Then he looks past you, probably looking for Aomine, but looks back at you when he finds nobody.

“We should get you to a doctor, senpai.” He grabs your hand and begins dragging you in a random direction.

“Wait, Kise-kun! Careful with your foot!”

“Kise, stop dragging her like that, you idiot! And the hospital is the other way!”

What a day.

—

“How is your foot, Kise-kun?” you ask him the next day. 

“It’s feeling much better, senpai.” You have a feeling that is not completely true, but do not call him out on it.

“Hm, Kise-kun, can I massage your foot a little bit before the match?” You ask him from your seat next to him in the stands. The match between Rakuzan and Shutoku is about to begin.

“I want a foot massage too, (L/N)-chan!” Moriyama whines somewhere behind you.

“Shut your trap, baka, before I show my foot up your—!” Yukio barks, charging for an attack.

“Let’s calm down and watch the match, please.” Kobori, always the voice of reason, joins in and everybody settles in their seats again.

“It’s okay, (L/N)-senpai,” Kisa finally says, eyes never leaving the court below. You don’t push further and watch the match in silence.

—

Rakuzan defeated Shutoku, and quite brutally. The more you watch Kise’s middle school teammates, the more you seem to understand what he truly meant when he spoke of them all. Either way, they are all incredibly talented at basketball.

The team left a while ago to go change and warm up. You watch as Yukio and Kise declare war on Seirin with a dunk and Seirin’s ace quickly returns the favour.

“That was so cool!” Utusumi murmurs next to you, mesmerised. Tomiko is looking a bit nervous from the anticipation of the match. You share her sentiment, if you have to wait another minute for the match to begin, you might implode. Nonetheless, you do your best to hide the nervous energy.

Finally, the teams get into position, five against five. The referee steps in with the ball, a whistle goes off and the match begins.

The game started at a fast pace, Seirin stole the ball and scored the first two points. Kaijou returned the favour quickly. Kise threw a three from a very long distance. The Perfect Copy. You, Tomiko and Utsumi watched in awe. The game continued like this for a while, an exchange of power. Kise was constantly copying all of his former teammates’ moves, toppling his opponents left and right.

Kaijou swiftly takes the lead. Some time later, there is a member change and Seirin sends in a new person to guard Yukio. The boy is falling apart under Yukio’s scary gaze. The game continues, and the nervous first year player accidentally throws the ball right into Yukio’s hands. You notice the entire mood of the Seirin team completely changes, they seem almost calmer. Oh, they are trying to slow things down. With this change, Seirin finally scores again.

The change clearly throws Kaijou off. Yukio stumbles a little, you just cheer him on louder, hoping he can hear you. By the end of the first quarter, Seirin has managed to catch up a little bit, but Kaijou is still in the lead.

In the second quarter, Yukio takes more of an offensive stance, weaving through every Seirin player until he reaches the basket and scores.

“Yeah! Go, Yukio!” You cheer, giddy in your seat. Tomiko and Utsumi join the sentiment.

The effect of the strategy doesn’t last long and Seirin quickly breaks through it, scoring more points. Kise is struggling a little to keep up with Kagami Taiga and you wonder if foot is in a lot of pain. Playing like this is definitely not going to benefit the injury.

Eventually, a substitution is made and it confirms that Kise’s foot is indeed not fine. You observe as Kise attempts to argue with Yukio over the decision, but your best friend swiftly shuts it down. You watch Kise sit on the bench dejectedly. You understand his frustration, you felt the same way when you couldn’t draw or paint due to an injury.

Kuroko Tetsuya, who seems to disappear on the court more than not, scores. Yukio failed to block him, but he doesn’t look depressed about it. You recognise the twinkle in his eye.

Your suspicion is confirmed when Kuroko goes to score again and Yukio steps back and blocks the shot. It leaves the entire stadium in shock. You just cheer even louder. That’s you boy! With some more exchanges, the second quarter ends with a tie.

The third quarter starts with Kise on the bench again and Seirin slowly, but surely takes the lead. Tomiko grabs your hand, the tension of the match overwhelming. You squeeze back lightly. Yukio grows quite desperate, but his determination and resolve towards basketball have always been inspiring.

The gap between Seirin and Kaijou only grows. Kise is tapping his foot nervously on the bench by the start of the fourth quarter, shooting looks at coach Takeuchi. And then he stands, strong like a declaration and the coach has no choice but to send him back in the game.

Kise is ferocious and full of energy, stealing balls left and right, dribbling past any obstacles and scoring baskets like they owe him money. The fifteen point gap begins to shrink quickly and the Seirin team fall into a panic.

Whenever somebody from Serin attempts to score, Kise is there to block. He is everywhere. Copying moves of his former middle school teammates easily, Kaijou rises from ashes.

Tomiko shakes your hand from the excitement. Kise’s presence and play become so overwhelming that eventually Kagami slips up and fouls him. Kise falls pretty badly on the ground. The crowd boos Seirin’s Number 10. You watch on nervously, please be okay, please be okay. Thankfully, he is.

The game is just as thrilling and full of suspense in the fourth quarter as it has been since the beginning. With only two minutes left and Seirin barely in the lead, there is hope for Kaijou. Kise is unstoppable, moving smoothly across the entire court, almost like a dancer.

Tomiko grabs onto you and Utsumi again, you all huddle close. Forty seconds left and Kaijou is finally in the lead again, but it’s not victory, not just yet. You cross your fingers, sending your friends all the luck and fortune you can muster.

Then Seirin scores again, stealing the first spot once more.

“I can’t take this anymore! It’s too much!” Utsumi hides behind one of her hands, but you can still see her peeking through to see what’s happening down below anyway.

Kise attacks again, but they guard him like dogs, circling him like vultures, waiting for one mistake, one little slip up, because that is all it takes. And he makes a decision. He is the Ace. His purpose is to lead the team to victory and the only way to do that now is…

His body twists and he passes to unsuspecting Yukio. Though surprised, your best friend shoots the ball with precision, eyes filled with determination and scores. The crowd cheers. Victory is just within arm’s reach now.

And then things take a dark turn for Kaijou. Kagami pulls a fast break with four seconds left on the clock. You watch it all in slow motion, the world going slow and quiet. Kagami receives the pass, Kise catches up to him, jumping to block and in the last second, Seirin’s Ace passes to Kuroko who scores the winning points.

…

“Do you really like basketball, Yu-kun?” You ask him, as you both walk home from school. It’s all he has been talking about lately.

“Yeah! It’s so much fun! I just want to play it forever!” It was one of the rare times when a smile replaced the usual frown on his face. You smile too. What a joy it is to have a passion, something that makes you so very happy.

“Yu-kun, let’s go play later! You can teach me how to pass and dribble and shoot!” You exclaim happily.

“Ha! Okay!” And the both of you race home as fast as you can.

…

The buzzer goes off. The game’s over. Kaijou lost…

You stood there in shock. Their defeated expression, the exhaustion. There is nothing you could say to make it better. Not right now anyway. That doesn’t mean you won’t try.

You blink stray tears away. You don’t wait for the line up, or the teams to walk away. You turn to your two friends, the request on the tip of your tongue, but Tomiko beats you to it.

“Go, (F/N)-chan. We can clean up here. Go get the team.”

“Yeah, you don’t have to worry about anything else!” Utsumi joins in.

“Thank you,” you speak with sincerity.

You are gone with the wind.

—

Kasamatsu-senpai throws a towel at Kise. Even in his exhaustion, he catches it easily. “Senpai…”

“Sheesh, you suck at playing the tough guy. Better not quit modelling, because you sure as hell ain’t an actor.” Yukio steps forward and throws Kise’s arm over his shoulder. And Kise cannot hold it in anymore. Tears stream freely and he cries openly.

“I…I wanted… to win… with you guys!”

“We know, buddy,” Kobori rustles his hair fondly as their team walks off the court together.

They all walk silently to their changing room. And then when they are just about to enter.

“Guys!” Heads turn towards the sound.

“Guys!” You’re running towards them. Kise watches you through the tears.

“Oi, (F/N), what are you doing down here?” Yukio says, voice a bit rough.

“Guys!” You sound a bit out of breath, but you don’t stop, if anything you run faster. And you leap.

Your arms wrap around Yukio and Kise’s heads and you pull them in for a hug.

“You were both amazing,” You whisper. The words flow with sincerity. Yukio huffs and hugs you back.

“We’re all sweaty,” Yukio mumbles into your shoulder.

“Don’t care,” you pull him even closer to prove your point.

“Let’s go,” Kobori says, dragging Moriyama away, “But I want a hug too…”

Kise doesn’t say anything, just enjoying the warm hug he is receiving. It doesn’t feel like pity, there is no pity in your eyes. Just a genuine comfort of a friend who cares about your passions just as much as you. Sharing the joy, the loss and grief, accompanying you through it all, no matter the result.

You run your fingers through Kise’s hair comfortingly.

Yukio pulls back, you just hold Kise for a beat longer.

“Seriously, did you run here like a maniac just to do that?”

“Yeah, I wanted to.” You take a step back, “you should go join the others now, but thank you for humouring me. I’ll see you guys outside.”

And with a smile, you’re gone.

—

The world doesn’t stop turning just because the Winter Cup is over now, there is still school and many other responsibilities.

You name Tomiko the next president of the art club, she cried tears of joy, honoured by your choice. But she was also sad, because this meant you would not be there with her next school year. You pat her head fondly as she cried into your shoulder. She took to her new role like fish in water and when you had time, you came to join the lessons. You missed your friends and the joy of creating beautiful things together.

You, Tomiko and Utsumi got closer as friends. You asked the first year Utsumi, now closer to a second year, to call you by your first name and you did the same in return. Rin-chan had a very nice ring to it. A surprise that came to you was that Tomiko actually chose Rin as her vice-president for the upcoming year. You were happy to see the two girls were getting along well.

Yukio followed in a similar fashion. He named Hayakawa as the next captain before he retired to focus on his studies. Kobori and Moriyama both joined him. They still attended practice from time to time, though. They would miss the sport and the people far too much.

However, now all of you are focusing more on your studies.

You have regular study sessions at a designated place, whether it’s one of your homes or some cozy quiet café.

“Do you guys know where you want to go yet?” Moriyama asks suddenly, playing with his pen.

“I have some ideas, but I’m not sure 100% just yet,” Kobori says, “What about you, Kasamatsu-kun?”

“Hmm, I have some ideas, but not really. This is really tough.”

“What about you, (L/N)-chan?” Moriyama shifts the attention to you.

“I’ve always known where I want to go.”

“Really?”

“Of course, she has,” Yukio jumps in, “It’s the only school she has ever talked about.”

“Well, it would be appropriate for my particular passions and talents. Not to mention, my father and grandfather both attended the very same university.” You explain, “My talent-based entrance exam actually takes place next week.”

“What?!” Moriyama, mostly, and Kobori exclaim in shock.

“How are you not nervous?”

“I’m, a little bit, but I already submitted my work a while ago and the university was quite satisfied with it, so this part will be more of a formality, really.” You add, hoping you don’t sound arrogant or anything.

“You’re a beast, (L/N)-chan.” Moriyama says, in awe.

“Enough about me. We’re all going to do great,” You bump shoulders with Yukio, who returns the gesture, a noticeable smirk on his face.

“Sure, we got this.” He adds. The conversation shifts to a different topic.

—

You’re just doing some additional studying when your phone begins ringing. It’s probably Yukio. He’s been calling quite often, especially in the evenings when you don’t have time to meet up, but he still has a quick question about some of the school materials. After all, the finals are just behind the corner. You reach for the phone blindly and pick up.

“Hey, Yu-kun. What’s up?”

A different voice comes out of the speaker instead, “Senpai, did you just mistake me for Kasamatsu-senpai? I’m wounded,” Kise pouts from the other side of the phone.

“Ah, sorry, Kise-kun, I didn’t look properly who was calling me.”

“I’ll forgive you since it’s you, senpai!” He says cheekily in return.

“You’ll forgive me since it’s me? Just what exactly does that mean, Kise-kun?” You say teasingly.

He stutters on the other side of the line, “It’s just that (L/N)-senpai is my favourite.”

“I’m your favourite?” You push on, enjoying a little how the blond trips over his feet.

“Y-yes, my favourite senpai!”

“My, my, don’t let Yukio hear you. It will break his heart, Kise-kun.” You continue, “But don’t worry, I will keep your favouritism a secret.”

“And what about you, (L/N)-senpai?” He says after a pause.

“What about me, Kise-kun?” You doodle a little doggy absent-minded, half focusing on the conversation, half on your notes.

“Do you have a favourite kouhai?” How very discreet of the blond first year. You twirl your pen in your hand, eyes following the movement.

“Well, Tomiko-chan has always been a wonderful friend and a kouhai,” You hear the sounds of defeat on the other side, “And Rin-chan is lovely, I’ve grown quite fond of her as well. And Hayakawa-kun helps me carry materials to the art room sometimes and Nakamura’s recommended me some good literature before–”

“Senpai! Now you’re just being mean on purpose!” You can imagine him crossing his arms. Since he is on the other side of the phone call, at least he cannot use his puppy eyes on you.

“Sorry, sorry, Kise-kun.” You swiftly change the subject, “Not that I’m not happy to hear you, Kise-kun, but why did you call today?”

“Well, senpai’s been so busy lately and I miss you. I wanted to spend some time with you!”

“I miss you too, Kise-kun, but we saw each other today at lunch.”

“But that’s not enough!”

“Okay, then what do you propose we do, Kise-kun?” You laugh fondly at the pinch of childishness Kise omits sometimes.

“Would you visit the market with me? They are supposed to be selling some yummy food and there is an ice rink too!”

“Sounds fun, Kise-kun. I would love to.”

“Would this weekend work for you, senpai? Maybe Saturday?”

You check your calendar quickly, “I’m free Saturday afternoon, I’m helping Yukio babysit his younger brothers in the morning. Would that be okay with you, Kise-kun?”

“Perfect! I’ll come pick you up, senpai! It’s a date!”

“Great, I’ll be looking forward to it,” and then the words register, “Wait, did you say—?”

“Bye, senpai! See you soon!”

And he ends the call.

Huh.

—

Saturday comes around quicker than you expected. You go through your usual morning routine, wake, get ready and have breakfast with dad. You leave almost right after, notes packed in your backpack and make a few paces to Yukio’s house. You open the gate from the inside and knock on the door.

The door opens a few seconds later.

“(F/N)-nee-chan!”

“Hi, buddy!” you pick him and spin him around. The little boy giggles happily. With him still wrapped around you like a monkey, you enter and push the main entrance closed with your foot and turning the key.

“Hello? Hello? Chaos control is here!” Yukio’s younger brother sprints from around the corner like a fired bullet and rams right into you.

“Nee-chan! You’re here!” He looks up at you with his big eyes.

“Sure am.” You ruffle his hair, he protests with a squeak and runs off, his brother wiggles out of your hold and runs after him, screaming happily. You take off your shoes and reach for your slippers. Yes, you have your own slippers in the Kasamatsu household, just like Yukio has a pair at your own house.

You follow the pair of young boys until you reach the living room area where they are currently building a fort. Yukio is in the kitchen wearing an apron, finishing breakfast.

“Hey, need any help?” You offer as you hang your backpack over the back of one of the dining chairs.

“Hey,” Yukio turns to greet you, but then his attention turns back to the pan, “I’m good.”

“Okay, in that case I’ll set the table.” You move around the kitchen,by now you know this house as well as the Kasamatsu family. You grab some plates, glasses and cutlery and set it neatly on the table.

“Oi, you two little menaces! Breakfast is ready! You can finish the fort later!”

Two spitfires come running into the kitchen and take their seats.

“Did you wash your hands, you two?” They look at you guiltily. “Race you to the bathroom! The first person back with clean hands gets the best omelette!” And you’re off, you can hear giggling and two pairs of little feet running behind you.

You slow down and let them pass you. You observe that they have washed their hands properly before they both race back. Yukio is done setting up when they return.

“Do you want some too?” He asks you as the two younger boys pounce on the plates filled with food.

“I already ate at home, so I’ll just steal some fruit.”

The breakfast is a relatively calm event. You help Yukio clean the dishes whilst his brothers return to finishing their ‘Super Secret Hideout’.

“I’ll just grab my stuff and be right back.”

“Sure, I’ll be here.” You crouch down by the entrance to the giant blanket fort. “Knock, knock. May I come in?”

“What’s the password?”

“Hmm, is it Spider-Man?”

“Nooo!” a pair of voices calls back, “that was last time!”

“Hmm, is it ‘I’m going to bake you vanilla cupcakes if you let me in’?”

There is quiet whispering for a moment and then a head of dark hair and sapphire blue eyes appear. Yukio likes to deny it, but his siblings resemble him in appearance more than anything. Now personality, that’s a different story.

“Do you mean it?”

“Yes, I pinkie promise.” You hold out your pinkie and the younger boy takes it and you shake on it. His other arm then emerges from the blanket madness, grabbing you by the hand and pulling you into the shaded, but warm and cozy place.

“Great job, guys! The fort looks amazing!” The boys preen at the praise.

“Oi, I’m back!” And then silence, “Are you all in the fort?”

“Maybe.” You call out, singy-songy.

“I’m coming in!” The two younger boys leap into action.

“You can’t! You have to say the password!”

Yukio stares at them and then calls, “(F/N), what’s the password?”

“I can’t tell you!”

“You can’t come in if you don’t know the password, nii-chan!”

“Hmm,” Yukio’s quiet for a moment, “then I’ll just have to—!” There is a yelp and a giggle. Yukio appears inside, carrying the boys under his armpits, one each, like sacks of potatoes. They are both giggling happily.

You all settle down in the tent.

“Nii-chan, (F/N)-nee-chan promised us vanilla cupcakes!”

“Is that so?” Yukio inquires and you look away, feigning innocence. “So that was the password.” He gives you a deadpan look.

“Let’s play in this cool fort for a bit and then we can bake them! Deal?” You call.

“Deal!” The two children cheer.

… 

“I can always pop home if we’re missing any ingredients.”

“It’s fine, I think we should have everything.”

The baking section of the day goes about as well as you would expect. Filled with uncontrollable chaos, flour in places it shouldn’t be, batter on your noses and a whole mess of a kitchen. But you all have fun and that’s what’s important. You read the boys a book, making funny voices whilst you wait for the cupcakes to cool down so you can decorate them. It’s a fun process and equally as messy as all the previous parts.

Nonetheless, at the end of it, the boys are munching on a tasty snack while you sweep and Yukio finishes drying the dishes. With the threat of snack time avoided, you are settled until lunch which Yukio’s parents should be bringing later.

You and the two little spitfires resume playing in the living when the doorbell goes off. Yukio stands up with a huff and shuffles over to the door. When he opens it, Kise is standing there, wrapped up in a thick coat, a cozy scarf and hat and warm gloves.

“Hello, Kasamatsu-senpai!”

Now, you had informed Yukio that Kise was coming to pick you up later, but that doesn’t mean he can’t play around a little bit.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

Kise seems a bit taken aback by that, “But senpai, (L/N)-senpai said to pick her up here.”

A screech comes from the living room, followed by our giddy laugh and the gig is up before it even began, “Come in,” says Yukio, sighing tiredly. Kise plus his younger brothers can only equal unstoppable chaos. And knowing you, you’re just going to add fuel to fire.

Kise steps in looking around curiously like the nosey person he is, even though he has already seen Yukio’s house before. Yukio directs him where to leave his things and then they make their way back to the living room before things get too out of control.

Kise doesn’t expect the sight that meets his eyes, you are kneeling on the floor, tickling one of Kasamatsu-senpai’s younger brothers whilst the other one hangs on your back like a monkey. It makes Kise’s heart all warm and fond. The fun comes to an abrupt stop when the boys take note of Kise and immediately swarm him.

“You’re Kise Ryota!” The first boy says.

“Sure am.”

“We’ve met before.” The other boy says, eyeing him curiously.

“Yes, we have.” Kise confirms.

You save him from any further questioning, setting your palms gently on the boys’ heads. “Hello, Kise-kun. Nice to see you today.”

“Y-you too, senpai.” You smile fondly.

“Hey, you two, go clean up a little before your parents come home, yeah?”

“But we don’t want to!” “Yeah, we don’t want to!”

“That’s too bad, I guess I’m gonna have to eat all the remaining cupcakes all by myself.”

“Noo!”

“Oh, yes! Now shoo!” The two ran off, grabbing clumsily at all the pillows and blankets. “Heh, still got it.” You send Yukio a smug look.

“Cupcakes? Senpais made cupcakes?” Kise inquires, smelling the sweet treat in the air.

“Sure, you want one, Kise-kun?” you offer.

“Oh, yes please! I love senpai’s baking!” Kise is always eager for any of your baked goods.

Yukio observes the entire situation in silence, “Best go now while those two are distracted, or you will never escape.”

“Got it. Be right back.” You disappear in the kitchen. Yukio stares at Kise with steely eyes. Kise, instead, was looking at the wall. There was a picture from what Kise assumed was Kasamatsu-senpai’s birthday party when he was very young. He recognises both of his senpais immediately. You were both so cute and chubby, what the heck? However, the cuteness overload disperses quickly when his senpai clears his throat.

“Yes, senpai?” asks Kise nervously.

Yukio is about to respond, but you return with your backpack and a single cupcake. You hand to Kise who beams. “Thanks, senpai! It looks delicious.”

“We’ll be on our way then,” You step forward and hug Yukio, “See you later, Yu-kun.”

“See ya,” there is a crash from the living room, “God dammit.”

—

It’s a chilly Saturday afternoon even though the sun is shining. The streets are covered in a layer of white snow. You and Kise take the bus to the market. You sit quietly by the window and Kise takes the free seat next to you.

“Thank you for inviting me out today, Kise-kun.” You smile at him.

“O-of course, senpai!”

“So, what’s the plan for today?” You inquire.

“Well, have you had lunch yet, senpai?”

“Not yet. I have to say I am a bit famished after all that playing.”

“Let’s fix it then! My treat!”

“But, Kise-kun–!”

He doesn’t let you finish. Instead he takes your hand and begins leading you out of the bus, because you’ve reached your destination.

…

“Woah, sometimes I forget how nice the winter markets can be.” You exclaim as you munch on a few pieces of takoyaki. You and Kise have been walking around the place for a while now, trying different types of food sold at the stalls.

“Thank you again for the food, Kise-kun, but I feel like it should be me spoiling my kouhai, not the other way around.”

“I’m happy to do it, senpai! You take care of everybody all the time! You deserve nice things too!” You feel a bit speechless, the words are kind and warm, as are the actions. So you just smile, looking down at your takoyaki.

“Would you like a piece, Kise-kun?” You offer him a piece you stabbed with a toothpick.

“I already had mine, senpai! These are yours!”

“Yes, but you’re an athlete, not to mention you’re still growing,” you go on, “And I do feel quite full after all the other snacks we tried. It would be a pity to let it go to waste.”

“Okay, senpai,” says Kise in a tone that’s a bit hard to decipher, but you don’t get much time to think about it, because he bends down and eats the ball-shaped snack right off the toothpick. His lips brush lightly against your knuckles and you can feel yourself blush. Thankfully, your cheeks were already rosy from the cold January air to hide it well enough.

“Here, enjoy the rest,” you shove the reminder into his arms, walking a little bit ahead. Kise catches up to you easily with his long legs, munching quietly on the snack. You avoid looking at him. You fear you will just blush more. What is wrong with you today?

“Ah, senpai, look! It’s the ice rink, would you like to go now?” Kise discards the empty plate in a nearby trash bin, looking at you excitedly.

“I’m not very good at ice skating.” You admit quietly.

“That’s okay, senpai! I can just hold your hand, senpai! I promise I won’t let anything happen to you!”

How sweet. “Okay, let’s do it.” For the second time that day, Kise takes you by the hand and drags you behind him like an excited dog.

…

This was a mistake.

Why did you think it would be a good idea to ice-skate on a busy ice rink when you resemble a newl-born fawn every time you attempt to stand up without falling. Your legs are shaking so hard from the imbalance. Are you going to fall? Oh gosh, oh gosh—

“Senpai,” Kise appears out of nowhere before your body can even think about tipping over into a nasty fall. His left hand wraps around your upper arm while the other one slides around your back to keep you upright.

“Thanks, Kise-kun,” you gulp, grasping onto him on instinct, “That was close.”

“You can always count on me, senpai!”

“What a reliable kouhai,” You praise lightly and the blond preens.

“Do you want to try skating now, senpai?”

“I’ll give a good old college try, but don’t expect any miracles, Kise-kun. I really am horrible at this.” You inform him once more.

“Here, senpai, hold my hands like this,” he rearranges his hold on you until you’re both facing each other with your hands in his.”

“What you want to do now, senpai, is to bend your knee to lower your centre of balance like this…” You follow his instructions thoroughly, bending your knees and adjusting your weight so you don’t fall. After that, Kise begins skating backwards and you follow by pushing your skates against the ice. It’s a slow process, but you haven’t fallen yet. 

“Okay, okay, I can do this, I can do this.” You hype yourself up a little bit and Kise watches you fondly. You practise for a little bit longer, skating on the side of the rink not to get in the way of more experienced skaters. Kise is with you the entire way.

He skates back holding your hands, looking very happy. He doesn’t even look back, only to check you won’t crush into anybody. “Kise-kun, how are you so good at this?”

“I pick up things pretty quickly, senpai.”

“I’ve-I’ve noticed.” You push yourself forward with more confidence.

“Do you want to try skating next to each other now, senpai? I promise to hold your hand the entire time!”

“Okay, okay, how chivalrous,” You laugh fondly. The two of you stop momentarily so Kise can readjust again, now standing next to you, his right hand in your left. 

“Ready, senpai?”

“Yes.” Your voice is filled with determination. You push forward and Kise follows after you, keeping the same pace as you. “I’m doing it! I’m doing it! Oh my god!” You exclaim happily and Kise’s smile widens further next to you.

“You are, senpai.” He says, voice full of affection.

The two of you skate some more and you manage to skate around the entire rink three times. Your smile grows bigger and bigger with each lap. You’re having so much fun and you’re not afraid of falling anymore either, not with Kise holding your hand.

Unfortunately, that’s when things go wrong. You’re in your own little world, focusing on not falling and skating properly with all your might that you do not notice the startled shouts. Thankfully, Kise does. As an experienced basketball player, he must be vigilant and observant. His eyes widen comically and he reaches for you. “Senpai, look out!”

It happens so fast you don’t even know what happened. One moment you’re gliding clumsily on the ice and next Kise wraps around you like a blanket before you collide with the ground. Your arms reach out automatically, wrapping around him in return. You yelp from surprise, expecting to meet the cold, slippery surface, but that doesn’t happen.

“Oh my goodness, I’m sorry! Are you both okay? I’m so sorry!”

and you both fall tangled in each other on the ice. You on top of the blond, the blush returns and you ask him worriedly if he is okay. You try to sit up, but slip again and land on Kise once more who wheezes under you.

You stare wide eyed at his face that is scrunched up in pain, eyes closed. Your arms are still wrapped around his head, so you really hope you cushioned his fall and he will not be walking out of this afternoon with a concussion.

“Are you okay, Kise-kun?”

His eyes flutter open slowly (you have never noticed before how nicely his eyelashes frame his eyes) and widen too, “S-senpai…”

You worry only grows, You finally manage  to slip one of your arms free from the back of his head, the other remains as a comfortable cushion. You lift yourself up to see better, but find no blood or injury at first glance.

Slowly, you lift yourself fully, slipping your other arms free and sit up slowly, Kise winces lightly and you look at him apologetically. 

“Are you feeling okay, Kise-kun? Does anything hurt?” He sits up slowly with your help.

“I’m okay, I think, senpai,” he tries to smile with the purpose to reassure, “I’ll probably bruise, but I’m okay otherwise, I swear.”

The boy, a middle school student, apologises repeatedly to you both, asking if you are truly okay. You and Kise reassure him several times. The biggest problem after that is to stand up somehow.

“I think… I think that’s enough ice-skating for today, wouldn’t you say, Kise-kun?”

“Yeah,” he agrees a bit breathlessly.

The two of you sit on a bench for a little bit, silent.

“Are you sure you’re completely fine, Kise-kun?”

“Yes, senpai, you saved me from a pretty bad head injury, but my bottom’s gonna be sore for days.”

“Well, I’m forever indebted to you and bottom, Kise-kun.” It startles a laugh out of him, which is a good sign.

“I could even kiss it better if you wanted. That’s what I usually do when Yukio’s brothers get a booboo.”

“Senpai!” Kise sounds absolutely scandalised, but still laughing. His face turns a redder, even though his cheeks and nose were a nice shade of pink from the cold weather. You bet he would look beautiful doing anything.

…

Kise walks you home. He is unnaturally silent most of the way. You don’t try to fill the quiet either. You like the quiet as much as you like conversation. However, you will not deny that something feels slightly off about the first year. By the time you reach the front gate, it’s already dark outside.

“I’m sorry about today, senpai…” He finally says, not looking at you.

“Sorry? What are you talking about, Kise-kun? You didn’t do anything wrong,” you take a moment to think about his words some more, “Do you… do you regret spending time with me today? Cause if I did something wrong, please tell me.”

“N-no! It’s nothing like that, senpai. I just… We were having so much fun and then it kind of went bad…” He looks so crestfallen.

So you take a step closer and he automatically looks at you. “Today was lovely, Kise-kun. I spent time with my friend, I got to share tasty food with him and he even taught me how to ice-skate. Not to mention, he saved me from falling. I had so much fun and I’m happy my friend wasn’t seriously injured.”

He seems a bit more reassured, but there is still one more emotion you cannot decipher.

“See you on Monday, senpai?”

“Of course, text me when you arrive home, Kise-kun. I worry about my kouhai.”

“Will do! Bye, senpai!” You watch him disappear behind the corner before you step inside your home, something strange building up inside you. You click the door closed quietly and rest against it. Something shifts in you. Why do you suddenly feel so flustered and flushed? You were really close today to Kise-kun today, but that never seemed to throw you off before, so why now? And you held his hand for such a long time too.

What is wrong with you?

— 

Time passes rather quickly when you’re not paying attention and before you know it, it’s February 13th. You’ve never understood the craze over Valentine’s Day. Why only show these big declarations of love for your loved ones once a year when you can show your love and appreciation every day in the small things.

Nevertheless, you love baking and you love your friends, so you suppose you can excuse the holiday a little. After all, making homemade chocolates is really fun. 

You went out in the afternoon to buy all the ingredients and after dinner you got to work. Following the perfected recipe, step by step.

Melt and temper the chocolate properly, pour it into the moulds, pour the excess back out so it leaves nice thin shells and allow them to rest in the fridge.

Next step, prepare the fillings.

This year you decided to go with more flavours. You do the usual raspberry flavoured filling since it’s your father’s favourite.

You’ve learned how to make soft salted caramel filling since Yukio doesn't have much of a sweet tooth, but tolerates it for you, so might as well meet him in the middle and make him something that won’t be overly sweet.

You wanted to try a new filling this year too. You decided to go with something citrusy and yuzu fruit won you over. You have your fingers crossed and hope it works out.

Once the fillings are done, you take out the chocolate moulds and fill each individual shell. You put it back in the fridge and reheat the chocolate again so you can cover the bottom part of the shells.

This entire process takes you hours and you’re covered head to toe in chocolate by the end of it. Your father offers to help you clean up, because he is a wonderful person like that, but you do see him eyeing the fridge. He is so obvious.

You eventually take the moulds out and carefully free the shells from their prisons. You prepare a plate for you and your dad to try together as you watch the latest TV show that has caught your father’s attention.

“These are delicious, my mochi. I can’t wait to receive my box tomorrow.”

“I’m happy you enjoyed the preview, Otou-san.”

“Who did you make chocolates for this year?” He asks you curiously, but he is being so obvious in his overprotectiveness.

“I made the usual. I made a box for you, for Yukio, for Yukio’s younger brothers, one for Tomiko-chan and my new friend Rin-chan. I’m gonna give a smaller box to Kobori-kun and Moriyama-kun too I think. And I also made a box for Kise-kun!” You count out on your fingers.

Your father’s face soured comically the moment you began naming more boys than just Yukio.

…

Valentine’s Day, also known as war zone at Kaijou High School, arrives the next day. You give your father his chocolates, he skips around like a little kid. He gives you your favourite flowers in return, because, and you are quoting his words “Why should you wait a month? This is a day you can all express your love and appreciation”.

You pack all the chocolates afterwards, carefully arranging them in your bag in their little boxes.

Yukio is already waiting for you by the gate, “What took so long?”

You take his box out of the bag, holding it leisurely in your hand, “I made you some chocolate, but since you don’t want it—”

“Wait, is it dark chocolate with salted caramel?” Yukio is suddenly intrigued.

“Mayyybe,” you sing-song.

“Gimme!” You step back, holding it just out of his reach.

“You’re gonna have to catch me if you want your chocolates, Yu-kun!” And you’re off.

Obviously, he catches you. He eats a few pieces by the time you reach school, you observe with a self satisfied smile.

…

Tomiko and Rin are ecstatic when you give them their boxes. They hand you some homemade chocolate in return, showing off their artistic skills.

You all find a bench to enjoy the tasty pieces together, complimenting each other’s culinary skills.

You suppose there are some advantages to this showy holiday. Eating free chocolate is probably the only one you find acceptable, though.

…

Kobori and Moriyama reacted exactly as you expected.

“Thank you for the chocolates, (L/N)-chan.”

“Of course, Kobori-kun!”

“Please, marry me, (L/N)-chan! These are delicious!”

“You’re welcome, Moriyama-kun…”

…

Kise has been waiting in anticipation the entire day. He usually hates Valentine’s Day. Don’t get him wrong, he enjoys a healthy portion of attention, but the things that happen to him on this day, he would rather forget.

When he arrived at school in the morning, his locker was already filled to the brim with love letters, some declaring their love, some asking him to meet the person in a nonpublic place, others were poems and songs.

He really should have got a fake girlfriend like he used to do in middle school to avoid this issue, or at least minimise it. Even better, he should have stayed at home.

However, none of those things really crossed his mind. Why should he get a fake girlfriend? He hasn’t had one since he started at Kaijou, nor has he been interested in finding one, not ever since he met a certain someone. 

Not to mention, he was really hoping to receive a chocolate from this person. It took him a while to realise, but he’s seriously interested in this person, has been for a while, it just took some time to clink in his head, because he has never been interested in anybody in this sense genuinely.

He has had a fling here and there, a kiss here a kiss there, but nothing serious. He has never really been into serious dating, never considered it, not until now.

His day doesn’t go well for him with girls and even some guys approaching him left and right,  hordes of students following after him like a persistent mosquito. He does his best to shake them off and hide from them.

He has to decline so many love confessions politely to avoid hurting people too much, but heartache is inevitable here. As much as he will try, the people will always leave heart broken, but at least he can soften the blow.

He is just turning down another girl when he hears the familiar laugh he has been looking forward to. He cranes his neck, looking around, zoning out completely on the girl who is confessing her feelings for him, eyes searching until they land on you.

There you are, smiling and laughing, looking all happy. Your hair in its usual style, but some stray hairs dance in the wind. And your eyes twinkle under the sunlight like little stars. Kise’s excitement quickly plummets, however, when he sees the people keeping you company.

Moriyama-senpai and Kobori-senpai.

And… you’ve just given them both a box… A box of homemade chocolates. Because Kise knows that there is no way that somebody so artistically talented and enthusiastic about culinary as you would ever by store chocolate.

Kobori-senpai thanks you politely, enjoying the taste of the sweet confections. Moriyama-senpai looks like he is about to bow down, kiss your feet and worship the ground you walk on.

And just like that, Kise’s day is truly and utterly ruined.

He is grumpy for the rest of the day. He would deny it, but deep inside he knows that he really is in a horrible mood. Everybody at practice can tell, Hayakawa sends Nakamura to try and talk to the blond, but it does not end well.

Kise is silent and brooding the entire time, playing especially aggressively, so much in fact that he knocks one of his teammates down harshly. Thankfully, there are no injuries. However, Kise feels horrible about it and all the anger seems to dissipate.

Hayakawa sends him to run laps around the gym as punishment, but not before shouting after him to dress warmly. They don’t need their ace to go down with a cold.

He huffs and puffs as he runs, lost in thoughts, mostly about you. The exercise keeps his body warm, but he feels a bit cold inside. He didn’t get to see you today, not with all the people following after him. And you must be at home by now.

“Kise-kun,” he must be having hallucinations from the cold. His jog comes to a stop. Oh, and there you are. Standing by the entrance to the gymnasium. All previous frustrations are hauled away by the February winds.

“Hello,” you say with a smile and his entire body warms.

“S-senpai! What are you still doing here? I thought you already went home for today…”

You tilt your head at him with a smile and step closer, hands behind your back, bouncing on your feet, looking up at him. You look so cute. What the heck? He really hopes the cold air disguises the quickly increasing blush on his face.

“That was the plan, initially,” you begin, “but I had a very important delivery to make.”

And Kise’s hope grows.

You pull a small box from behind you and offer it to him. Kise reaches for it eagerly, masking his excitement poorly.

“Is this for me, senpai?”

“Yes,” you decide not to tease him, since he seemed a bit down when you saw him jogging around the gymnasium.

“Sorry I couldn’t give it to you sooner, but I would rather not give it to you in front of all your fangirls. Didn’t go so well for me last time.” Kise’s face scrunches up uncomfortably at the words. “Sorry, sorry, bad joke, Kise-kun.”

He is very giddy and immediately tears the box open. Inside are neatly laid out homemade chocolates. They’re all circular, unusual compared to the heart-shaped sweets he usually receives on Valentine’s day.

Their design is surprisingly simple, but they look perfect, smooth surface and evenly shaped. It’s different types of chocolate, some dark, some milk, some white. And inside is a note!

Is it a written love confession? From his senpai? To him?! He unfolds the paper, reading the words and his smile slowly slips awry when he realises it’s not a confession, but a list of ingredients.

You are smiling up at him from behind the box, oblivious to this disappointing misunderstanding on his part. “Ah, yes, I added a list of ingredients in case there is anything you might be allergic to Kise-kun.”

“That’s really thoughtful, senpai…” He shoves the paper in his pocket, reaching for one of the small chocolates and plops one in his mouth. It melts on his tongue. It’s an explosion of flavours. He picked the white chocolate, the shell made a satisfying crunch in his mouth and the sweet and sour yuzu filling spilled on his tongue, like a loving caress.

“These are delicious, senpai!” He burst out.

“Of course, I give all my friends chocolates on valentines day.” You look so thrilled at the fact that he seems to be enjoying them that you miss a secondary shift in his face that he quickly covers up. He has never been much of an actor and you can read him quite well, but when he hides his face behind the box, it’s harder to notice unless you are searching for it deliberately.

Friends. That’s what you were. The word used to delight him, he loved being your friend so much. Friends. You use the word quite often, but every time you do it’s filled with so much fondness and care. But you use it with so many people that Kise doesn’t feel as special anymore. And he wants to be special. To you. He wants to hold a special place in your heart.

Has he just been friendzoned? Just when he finally acknowledged and accepted that his feelings for you are something different from friendship. Something not so platonic and more romantic. 

“Thanks, senpai…”

“Of course, Kise-kun.” You are none the wiser.

“I… I should probably get back to practice now, senpai.”

“Okay,” you smile, but confusion lightly paints your face, “I won’t keep you any longer. Thank you for accepting my chocolate.” You bid him goodbye. He eats another chocolate piece. It’s the best chocolate he’s ever had, but somehow it tastes a bit more bitter in his mouth now.

—

You spend the next few weeks overthinking everything. School. Your future. And surprisingly for the very first time, love. Romantic love.

It took you a white to realise what these overwhelming feelings truly meant, because you’ve never experienced anything like that before.

You’ve never fallen in love before or had a crush, you didn’t think you ever would, to be completely honest. Not after what had happened between your mother and father.

You were okay with never experiencing romantic love, you never had a crush on anybody, not somebody you know or a celebrity crush like most people your age experienced. You are not resisting these feelings or ignoring them, but you’re not really sure how to go about them either.

It feels nice, but it also scares you.

You are uncertain about many things, but not here. It has become very clear to you that you are experiencing romantic love or at least a crush towards the one and only, Kise Ryota. A first year, a child essentially. You are barely an adult yourself, recently freshly eighteen, but it throws you off. Is it even appropriate to be feeling these things towards him?

You’re an artist, you’ve always noticed the finer details. Kise’s golden orbs and golden hair, like he had been blessed by the sun goddess Amaterasu. And when he smiles, the world seems brighter. And though he has his flaws, like most people do, his virtues pull you in.

It was always there, you think. These feelings must have been there for months, but went unnoticed because of all the stress and responsibilities. Maybe it was denial, maybe you pushed these feelings so deep into subconsciousness, maybe it was the lack of experience with this that led to your delayed realisation.

However, there is no point to dwell on the past now.

What’s more important is what you’re going to do with this knowledge, these feelings, now.

Now that they are there. Blooming and unlikely to fade away any time soon.

You think about asking your father, but perhaps he is not the best option. You think about asking Tomiko-chan and Rin-chan, they’re girls too, but they are your kouhai and you don’t want to burden them with this. Moriyama comes to mind too, but only for a second, he may flirt around, but he isn’t usually successful. He looks up his flirting techniques on the net, you think about googling your issue, maybe somebody is experiencing something similar and could give another perspective, or idea how to go about this. Kobori could be an appropriate option. He is kind and understanding. However, even though you are friends, you don’t think you’re close enough for a topic like this.

And finally, Yukio. He was actually the first person you thought of. He has been your safe net since, well, forever. But you know love and all the mushy-lovey-dovey stuff isn’t necessarily his forte. In fact, he can barely speak to women without stuttering or going losing his voice. With you as the only option, or maybe Tomiko.

He is going to be grumpy about and complain all the way, but you know he won’t let you down.

So, you make up your mind and give him a surprise visit.

“Yukio! (F/N)-chan is here to see you!” His mother calls to her son, you rustle his brothers’ hair before you walk upstairs.

He is in his room, reading a book, looking a bit bored with a pinch of restlessness. You’ve written your finals a few days ago and now you must wait for the results in anticipation.

“Hey,” you say as you peek in.

He sets the book down, “Hey.”

You don’t waste much time, you enter, close the door behind you and walk over to his bed, an unshakeable tension in your shoulders. You plop down on the bed next to him and he shuffles closer to the wall to give you space.

“What’s up?” He says, eyeing you warily.

“What were you reading?” you ask instead, not ready to share your thoughts just yet.

He humors you, explaining how he found a bibliography about one of his favourite musicians, but it’s in English, so even though it’s a difficult read, he is enjoying it. You allow him to go on, listening with your eyes closed, curled up next to your best friend. This gives you so much comfort, just existing in his presence. You let out a small sigh.

When he finishes, the room is silent for a while. A comfortable silence.

“Have you ever been in love, Yukio?” He was expecting to say basically anything, but not this. He sputters in surprise, sitting up.

“What the fuck? Where did that come from?”

“Just… answer the question,” feeling embarrassed, you hide your face in his pillow.

Eventually, he lays back down next to you, looking up at the ceiling, you observe him subtly with one eye from your pillow soft hiding place.

“I… I don’t know about love, but I’ve had crushes before, I guess. Why?” He finally looks at you and you almost hide your face again.

“I… I think I might be falling in love.” It’s one thing to realise this in your head, and another to say it outloud. It makes it even more real. More prominent, more difficult to get rid of or ignore.

He looks at you for a moment. “I know.”

That stuns you, so much in fact. You spring up, leaning on your elbows in shock, wide eyes.

“What do you mean you know?”

“Cause I have eyes and ears, baka.” He says matter of factly, settling a bit more comfortably into his pillow. You watch him, lips pulled into a thin line. “This is about Kise, isn’t it?”

Of course, he knows. And of course, he would figure out your own feelings before you figure them out yourself. Sometimes he knows you better than you know yourself.

The cat’s out of the bag, so you lay back down, one hand under the pillow, your head resting on top. Your other hand is drawing shapes into Yukio’s pillow absent-mindedly. “Yeah…” You finally admit.

He grunts, like he was expecting this to happen. These feelings or the conversation? Maybe both. “Took you a while to realise, didn’t it, huh?”

“Yeah,” you say, pushing his shoulder with your palm, “but you don’t have to be an ass about it.”

“I’m not,”

There is more silence.

“Isn’t it wrong? Is it wrong of me to feel this way?”

“I don’t know, only you know that,” he continues, “But Kise? Seriously?” You whack him on the arm, he yelps in pain, but it got a small smile out of you, so he can bear the pain.

“Does it make you feel nice?” He says eventually.

“Very.” You confirm.

He pauses, like he is collecting his thoughts, contemplating something. “You know, Kise’s had a huge crush on you for months, right? He’s been really fucking annoying about it, more than usual, even though he might not realise it. You were pretty stupid about it too. So I guess that makes you a perfect pair.”

“Has he really?” You ignore all the light insults just this once, “But he could have anybody and I’m just, well, me.”

“Yes, he has. Has been quite obvious about it too, to anybody with functioning eyes anyway.” he turns to look at you with those fierce steely eyes, “And he would be fucking lucky to have you. You’re fucking incredibly, you baka. You’re smart and pretty and funny and passionate about things, and so sincere and kind to people who don’t deserve it. You make the world so much better, so skip the self-doubting talk.”

“Aaw, Yukio!” You surge forward and hug him, “Wait, did you just call me pretty? Aaw, you’ve never done that before!”

“Oh my god, I’m trying to be nice for once and you’re being so annoying about it! Get off!” He tries to push you off.

“No!” A small friendly scuffle takes place after that. By the end of it you both end up lying on the bed.

“It’s up to you what you do with this,” he finally says, “But no matter what happens, you will always have me.”

The words warm your heart and you embrace him one more time, “Thank you, Yu-kun… you’re the best best friend in the whole wide world.” His arms wrap around you too and you stay like that for a while.

—

Exam season is finally over, results are back, very satisfying results, mind you. Yukio and you have both been accepted into universities in Tokyo, so all that’s left to do now is enjoy the rest of your high school life.

It’s exactly one month after Valentine’s Day. March 14th, White Day. The day when men who received gifts on the day of love give presents to women in return.

Yukio gave you a new set of paints, beautiful rich shades of different colours. You were ecstatic. Kobori and Moriyama got you your favourite snacks. It’s a nice day even though everybody is infatuated about love once again.

Not like you can judge them anymore, you’re one of those ‘crazed’ people now.

It crossed your mind once or twice what it would be like if Kise-kun gave you a romantic gift. THough you doubt it. Your chocolate was given with the intention of friendship. Very platonic and very friendly. You don’t get your hopes up. Even though Yukio spoke of the blond liking you back like that, it doesn’t seem too plausible to you. After all, real life is not a fairytale.

You’re sitting in the art room, on the teachers desk, munching on the snacks your friends gave you as you study the ingredients in the paints. Yukio is leaning against one of the student desks.

You’re both caught up in light conversation, talking about everything and nothing.

“Say, Yu-kun, our colleges are pretty close together, both in Tokyo. I was looking into some small apartments to lease and I found some nice ones. Wanna live together?”

“Sure,” he says. You didn’t expect anything less.

“We can go view them in a few days, if you want. I’ve been in contact with some of the landlords.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He pushes off the desk, walking over to the teacher’s desk and resting his elbows on it, right next to your thigh. You offer him your snack and he eats a few pieces, looking at the box of acrylic paints.

“They’re really nice, thank you again.” He huffs in acknowledgment at your gratitude.

You go on to elaborate more on the apartments you found, but then the door to the art room slams open. It makes you jump and you almost drop Yukio’s gift.

Kise Ryota stands in the doorway, looking at you both with wild eyes. You’ve never seen him so disheveled. His hair is sticking in many directions, as if a bird built a nest on his golden locks. He is missing his blazer and tie and his shirt is all torn up, several buttons missing, leaving him exposed to the colder weather of the third month of the year. And he has scratches all over him, like he got mauled by a cat.

You stare in shock, Yukio’s eyes are comically wide too.

“What’s happened, Kise-kun?” You ask, voice filled with worry. You hop down from the chair, moving closer. And then, high-pitched screams and running echoing down the hallway.

Well, this brings back memories. The first time you met Kise-kun the same thing happened.

The sounds grow louder, sending shivers down all your spines. The fangirls sounded like a flock of seagulls fighting over food.

“Hide me, please,” he begs and he doesn’t have to ask twice. You take his hand gently and lead him to the back of the room. There is a backroom where you store a lot of your materials. You open the door and push Kise in, making a shushing sound. The door clicks shut and you hide it behind anything you can get your hands on. Large paintings, an easel, some rolled up projects, boxes and papers. The hidden door is not noticeable at first glance. Yukio helps you bring the stuff over, no need to ask.

You drag him back to the front of the classroom, hoping back on your spot on the table, playing at non-chalance and your best friend does the same. Seconds after you get into position, the door slams open again. No knocking, no nothing.

About a dozen heads pop in, looking around like vipers looking for a meal. They all freeze when their eyes finally land on you and Yukio. You are casually munching on a snack, studying your new paints further, one leg swinging back and forth.

Yukio is once again leaning on his elbows, holding one of the snack bags and eating out of it. Both of you look over, attempting your best to be clueless.

“Hello, can we help you?” You measure them with a blank look, your usual smile gone.

“The fuck are you running around for slamming doors, huh? Don’t you have any manners?” Yukio is much more straightforward with his approach. It throws the mob off. His face is terrifying. It works as an excellent repellent.

“We were-were just—” one of the girls tries to explain, but another interrupts, much bolder, “We were just looking for Kise-san. Have you seen him, senpai?”

“I’m afraid I can’t say we have. Haven’t seen him since yesterday, really.” You answer, non-chalant.

“Shouldn’t that brat be at practice? I’m gonna kill him if he’s skipping just because I’m not the captain anymore.” The girls, terrified by Yukio’s raging energy, apologise and leave, though the bold girl watches you two like a hawk until the door is closed again and she disappears from sight.

You wait in silence until it’s safe, and then you let out a sigh of relief. “Never again.”

You get up and lock the door, but not before checking they are truly gone. Yukio, in the meantime, begins removing all the objects blocking the door behind which Kise is still hiding. You join to help.

The door is pushed open and Kise’s face appears, “Thank you so much, senpais, that was close…” He looks exhausted. He must have been chased around the entire day. You take pity on him and lead him carefully to a chair, pulling it out for him. He falls into it.

“There, there, Kise-kun, your senpais’ve got you.” You smile.

You look at him thoroughly once more. The ruined uniform and hair and the scratches and other small injuries. You will really report this to the school office right after, this is too far, this is harassment. You are unsure whether you are allowed to touch him. You know you would feel hesitant towards touch after your supposed fans treated you like this.

“Kise-kun, can I touch you?”

“W-what?” His head snaps up, cheeks filling out with a light rose.

“I would like to take a look at those injuries, may I?”

“It’s fine, senpai, it’s nothing!”

“Oi, brat, listen to (F/N), this needs to be treated! So either we do it here, or I will drag you to the infirmary.” Yukio finally speaks up, stepping closer.

Kise, already exhausted, yields.

“So, may I?” You hold out your hands and Kise nods, relaxing a bit in the chair. There are bruises and scratches on his arms and chest, as far as you can tell. You hum thoughtfully, reaching into your backpack, rummaging for your first aid kit. “Got it.”

“Kise-kun, would you take your shirt off, please?”

“W-WHAT?” He yelps in surprise, looking slightly panicked.

“You can’t just say stuff like that, you idiot!” Yukio scolds you.

“Well, it will be easier to assess the damage that way.” You say plainly, “Unless, Kise-kun is uncomfortable?” You question, looking in his direction.

Kise complies, taking off the damaged piece of clothing, hissing a bit in pain.

You look for all the things you need and throw them into Yukio’s unsuspecting arms. “Yukio will help you disinfect and wrap the injuries.”

“I-I thought… you were gonna do that, senpai.” Kise says hopefully.

“I’ll leave it to Yukio, he is very good at it. I can try and fix up your uniform in the meantime. Is that okay?” What you are saying is true, but you’re also afraid you would be far too distracted by Kise’s physique and that’s the last thing he needs right now. What he needs is proper care.

“Hey! I didn’t agree to this! Why aren’t you asking me for consent?” Yukio barks, but he is already moving towards the blond.

“Because,” you say matter of factly, “You would have done it anyway. Mr.-Grumpy-But-Actually-I-Am-A-Big-Softy-Inside.”

“I’m gonna throttle you later,” he always threatens bodily harm, but it’s just empty promises.

You examine the damage, holes here and there, some blood and many missing buttons. You take out your sewing kit and find a thread closest to the colour of the shirt and get to work. You’ve done this a thousand times before. With Yukio and his younger brothers, you had plenty of practice.

The holds are sewed shut, it doesn’t look as lumpy as you expected. Now, as for the other problem. You rummage through the art room until you find what you are looking for with a victorious exclamation.

You sit back down, close to the two boys and continue your work. You can feel Kise’s eyes burning into you, you do your best to ignore it. Yukio cleans the injuries and wraps them. Kise hisses from the sting of the disinfectant from time to time. The work is relatively silent.

“Why do you have so many buttons, senpai?”

You look up at the blond, then at the box next to you. You reach for another button, looking for the ones that are the same or at least similar to the original ones. “We did a project with them last year and we had plenty of leftovers.”

“Ah,” Kise hums in understanding.

“My turn,” you say as you tighten the button to the textile and bite the thin string off. It holds nicely in place. “Why did they do this to you, Kise-kun? Because this kind of behaviour is not okay.” Yukio grumbles under his breath in agreement.

“Well, it’s White Day… I guess they wanted my button. But that’s stupid, I wouldn’t have given it to any of them anyway.”

“Oh,” you completely forgot that this tradition was a thing. Sometimes, when a boy likes a girl, he can give her his second button, the one closest to his heart, as a romantic gesture, a confession of love. It usually happens the most during graduation season.

“Well, it would be rude to just try and take your heart like that, wouldn’t it?” You finally say. Coincidentally, you are just sewing the second button, the closest one to the heart back. As if you are returning Kise’s heart in its rightful place.

Kise watches you with fascination, maybe admiration.

You finally get it done a few minutes after Yukio wrapped the last of Kise’s injuries.

“Here you go, Kise-kun,” you say, “It’s not perfect and you will definitely need to wash off the small blood splotches, but you should make due with it for the rest of the day.”

Your fingers brush when he reaches for his clothes and your fingers twitch. You decide to occupy yourself with cleaning up the mess of buttons and threads.

“Thank you, senpai. You’re far too kind.” He sounds so sincere.

“And what am I? chopped up liver? I just helped you with your injuries, you brat!” Yukio barks, squaring up to hit Kise over the head, but the agile first year avoids it.

“Sorry, senpai! Thank you! Just don’t hit me!” Kise whines.

The blond then proceeds to put his shirt back on rather slowly. “Hurry up, brat, I’m taking you to the teachers’ lounge. We are reporting this.” Yukio is reading your mind.

“But, senpai—” However, Yukio is already dragging him away.

“I’ll finish cleaning up here! I’ll see you after!” You call after them. There is no way anybody is going to bother Kise, not when Yukio, the big scary former captain of the basketball team, is with him.

The moment they leave and their footsteps fade, you slide to the ground, face completely red. Kise is ripped. Holy moly. You knew he was handsome, but god damn he’s handsome.

…

“Ne, senpai, what were you and (L/N)-senpai doing in the art room?”

“None of your business, brat!”

“But I wanna know!” He whines. He gasps, “Were you confessing your love? Making out?”

That earned him a kick to the head, “Stop spewing nonsense, Kise idiot!”

“Ooww, senpai! That hurts!”

“You deserved it for saying such stupid things,” Yukio huffs, “And for your information, we were discussing college.”

“Oh,” Kise says, quieting down. Right college. You and Kasamatsu-senpai will be leaving soon. Sadness fills his eyes.

…

When Yukio finds you after so you can walk home together, he takes one look at you and says, “You’re down bad. It’s really fucking embarrassing.”

“Shut up, Yukio.” You retort without any real bite. You just cover up your reddening face.

—

It’s your last day.

Your last day at Kaijou. Graduation is behind you and now you will be moving onto the next chapter of your life. A new place, new environment, new people, new experience. So many new things.

You stand under the cherry trees that have barely begun blooming. It’s a lovely sight. The wind caresses your face, sending a few cherry petals that leave fleeting kisses. It feels like the place is telling you goodbye too.

You wanted to spend a little bit of time together, to say goodbye properly to the school that has been a partial home for you for the past three years before you have to go meet up with everybody again so you could get dinner together later. How you will miss it. The place, the art classroom and the art club, the people whom you are honoured to call friends. You will still get to see them from time to time and text and call every day. Hayakawa-kun and his loud enthusiasm. Nakamura and his restrained nature, but sharp tongue. Rin-chan’s lovely laugh and ideas. Tomiko-chan’s warm company and loyal presence. And Kise-kun and his… well, everything.

“(L/N)-senpai! There you are, (L/N)-senpai!” Speaking of the blond boy.

You turn around and he is mesmerised. The way the wind plays with your loose hair, moving it around like gentle waves. The way your eyes shine just right under the sunlight. The way the gentle cherry petals frame you, highlighting the beauty.

“I’ve… I’ve been looking everywhere… for you…” He is a bit breathless.

You tilt your head with a small smile, “Sorry, Kise-kun. I just wanted a moment alone to say goodbye.”

He stops next to you, nodding in understanding. The two of you are quiet for a moment. You are feeling rather melancholic today. Watching the falling petals really helps, it feels like the wind is drying tears that didn’t come.

“Are you sad, senpai?” Kise asks worriedly.

You look up at him with a sorrowful smile, “A little bit, Kise-kun. But don’t worry about your senpai…” You stop yourself, would you even be his senpai now that you have graduated. You never thought about it before. You put on a brave face and continue, “I can bear it.”

“But you don’t have to, senpai! You have me!” insists Kise.

“That’s sweet of you, Kise-kun, but I wouldn’t dare my kouhai with something like that. It’s not your responsibility.” You try to explain.

“Is that all I am to you…?” Your words seem to upset him dearly, clenching his fists at his side. “Am I just a kouhai to you?”

“You are my kouhai, that’s a fact, Kise-kun. But you’re also my friend, somebody I cherish dearly.” You do your best to explain without slipping the song your heart has been attempting to sing for a while now.

“Then trust me with this, because… because…” he trails off.

“I like you, senpai!”

The world slows down, the breeze, the petals, your breathing. All you can see is Kise under the sun rays.

Does he mean…? Because if so, you wish to say it back so badly.

But should you? You’re leaving and his future at Kaijou is just starting. 

“I like Kise-kun too,” your mouth and heart betray you before you can overthink it further. Your mind cannot keep them silent anymore, cannot keep them chained deep where it’s safe.

“No, senpai! You don’t understand!  I like you more than a friend should! I like you so much that it hurts!”

It’s like your breath has been stolen away.

“So will you accept this, please?” And he presents you with a small familiar button. You recognise it immediately. You sewed it on his white shirt yourself a few days ago. Your eyes gaze past his outstretched hand and land on the missing button over his heart.

So it really is a love confession. Is this even real? Are you asleep? Is this some kind of twisted dream your mind came up with?

You take a few steps closer, reaching out. Your hand rests gently under his. Your other hand slides over his fingers and guides them closed over the button resting in his palm.

“That’s what I meant too. I like Kise-kun differently from all my other friends. He has a special place in my heart.” Kise’s eyes shoot up, wide and hopeful.

“But, Kise-kun,” you quickly add before he can interrupt, “I’’m leaving for university soon and your best years at Kaijou are still in front of you—”

“No, senpai. This was—is the best year ever. There won’t be any better, not without you.” Your heart beats loudly in your ears.

You desperately try to reason with him as to why he shouldn’t pursue this even though your heart already gave you away. You were always far too earnest.

“But… you could have anybody, Kise-kun?”

“Maybe, but I want you, senpai. Okay? Nobody else.” You’ve known Kise to be persistent and tenacious, this is no different.

“And you do realise I’m leaving and I’ll be pretty far away. Those feelings could fade, Kise-kun.” You attempt to argue further.

“They won’t.” He quickly retorts.

“You can’t know that.” You say with desparation.

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” He says those words, full of love.

His other hand is now resting over yours. It’s so warm and welcoming.

You gulp, “I’m so much older than you, Kise-kun…” Your last ditch effort.

“I turn 17 this June, senpai!” He insists. It feels like a never-ending dispute.

“Won’t you even try senpai? We both feel the same, so won’t you even try? Please, say yes,” Begging, he bends down a little, looking at you with those enchanting eyes, full of hope that could be so easily squashed.

You look to the side, your hands still in his, biting on your lip.

Would it really be okay for you to allow yourself this joy? This wonderful thing? Were you truly allowed to accept? 

“I…I want to try, Kise-kun,” and the world explodes in colour. Suddenly, Kise is moving again, full of life, full of infectious energy, full of joy and smiles and you are pulled against a firm chest, hidden from the world in his heart-warming embrace. For a moment, you do nothing, but then your arms slip around his middle until they meet again at the back. The hug feels so nice.

Kise’chin rests on top of your head and the pom-pom on your hat tickles his nose. He doesn’t mind, he just pulls you impossibly closer. “I’m so happy, senpai,” he mumbles close to your ear and it sends a pleasant shiver down your spine.

You stay like that for what feels much longer than a few minutes before Kise releases you, but his hands still rest on your upper arms, a small reminder of his warm presence. “I’m so happy, senpai!” His eyes shine and he is wearing the biggest smile you have ever seen.

Slowly, you raise your hands and rest them against his forearms, squeezing at them gently until he releases his hold and you slide your fingers down until you can gently cradle his hands. 

“It won’t be easy, Kise-kun” you finally say.

“That’s okay, senpai. I don’t like easy.” He smiles and you finally allow yourself to smile back. 

“Can I kiss you, senpai?” The words force a reboot and your face turns as red as a tomato. “K-k-kiss??” Sputtering out an answer with arms flailing, Kise watches the reaction fondly. It’s very cute.

With still very pink cheeks, you say, “Let’s stick to something simpler for now, Kise-kun.” 

You offer him your hand and he takes it without any hesitation. Your hands fit in his like a glove.

“For now, senpai?” He teases further, preening at the fact that he got a proper opportunity to return all the teasing from you at last. He likes this side of you. In that moment he decides that he wouldn’t mind seeing this side of you all the time.

“Let’s go back to the others now, they must be wondering where we are. And I still want to go to dinner.” You take a step forward, but Kise stops you.

“Wait, senpai, you still haven’t accepted my confession.” He reminds you, holding out the little button once more. You let out a soft huff, reaching out. He places the small object into your palm and your fingers close around it protectively.

“Thank you, Kise-kun. I’ll cherish it, dearly.”

“Thank you for accepting my confession, senpai.”

You walk away together, hand in hand with love-struck smiles. The breeze blows gently around you, light pink petals falling in celebration.

What a nice time to be alive. What a nice time to be in love.