Chapter Text
3 months later. Tusday June 14. Osamu and fyodor have an odd friendship. They get each other more than they get the emotions of others. Bullying towards Osamu stayed relentless.
So much soo that while his mind and face stayed blank, tears fell. And fyodor felt this odd squeeze in his chest.
They made each other feel.
“Osamu. There's 5 days until your birthday. I could come over if you would like?”
Dazai hummed quietly as they walked.
They eventually arrived at Fyodor's house, where his mother was making dinner.
She was speaking to someone in Russian, probably Fyodor's father.
“Lets go to my room.”
“Mhm” Dazai mumbled and followed fyodor to his room.
“Osamu, Have you ever recognized we aren't like others?”
“I actually have.” He responded.
Fyodor slid off the bed to curl up next to Dazai.
“Фёдор Достоевский”
Was shouted from downstairs.
“I will be right back, Osamu.”
“Alright”
When Dazai assumed Fyodor got downstairs, there was yelling, he heard a crash and loud angry russian curse, probably directed at fyodor.
Dazai started to disassociate, thinking about his mom once again.
I barely knew her.
Why is this affecting me?
What is this feeling a got when i think about her?
Can this stop?
IT’S YOUR FAULT DAMNIT!
IF YOU DIDNT SAY THAT TO THAT BOY, SHE WOULDNT HAVE LEFT!
AND BECAUSE SHE DID, SHE’S DEAD!
Did he really mean those things that day? No, he couldn't have.
“Sorry about that Dazai.”
“Hm? Dazai was snapped out of his trance, looking up at fyodor. His eye looked bruised and he had a busted lip.
“What happened?”
“My mother got mad.”
“Oh. Are you alright?”
I dunno what that word even means, but people ask others that when they hurt right?..
“Yes, I'm fine.”
“Good.” Dazai felt something in his chest he had never felt before. Something ached in his throat and his body felt hot as he really took in Fyodor’s injured state. He also had a small cut on his jaw that dripped blood to his neck.
Fyodor sat with his knees to his chest by Dazai.
“Are you alright, Osamu?”
“I don’t know. I feel this odd feeling in my throat and my skin feels hot.”
Fyodr hummed, thinking for a moment.
“I believe you are feeling anger.”
“Oh.”
“My friend will be visiting from Ukraine soon.”
“Alright. I should be heading home soon-” Like clockwork, he got a message from his father.
‘Don’t come home tonight.’
Dazai sighed.
“Well. My father doesn't want me home tonight. Is it alright to stay here?”
“Of course Osamu.”
Fyodor's eyes softened. Something that had never happened before.
Dazai was the clingy type, Fyodor was the opposite. But he saw something in Dazai’s eyes and he wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
Dazai flinched and fyodor pulled away.
Fyodor's face heated
What's this feeling in my chest?
“I will be right back osamu.”
Dazai hummed. His head was back against the mattress, hand resting
on his chest, as if feeling his own heartbeat could make him human.
His eyes werre closed, already half asleep.
Fyodor went downstairs to the kitchen to text his not right in the head friend.
‘Nikolai. What's this squeezy feeling in my chest, and fluttering in my stomach?’
Nikolai gogel </3 is typing
‘Fedya, who are you with rn?’
‘Osamu’
‘Who?’
‘Dazai’
‘The emo guy from your newspaper class??’
‘Yeah?’
‘Your on a first name basis with him? And no honorifics? Damn 😕’
Fyodor just kind of looked at that screen.
‘Answer the question nikolai’
Nikolai gogel </3 is typing
‘Well fedyaa, what you are feeling, we may call love :3’
.
Fyodor's eyes widened. He wasn't expecting that to be the feeling at all.
“Hm. Odd.” He whispered into the darkness of the kitchen, dabbing a wet cloth on the drying blood on his jaw.
“Whats odd?”
Fyodor jumped as Dazai seemingly appeared from thin air. He creeped fyodor out sometimes with how quiet he walked and got around, like a cat on the hunt for mice.
“Ah, it's nothing osamu.” Dazai glared at the screen, his eyes squinted in irritation as he tried to see who he was texting. He let out a small huff and stepped back.
“Yout texting that stupid clown?”’ He couldn't help but feel possessive, and irritated that fyodor was texting nikolai instead of hanging out with him.
“Yes, I was asking him about the bio homework."
That pissed Dazai off further.
“Fyodor, were in the same bio class. And I'm right here and he doesnt even live in japan,” He put his hand on his chest, his voice raising. “Why not ask me?!” His voice raised a bit more.
“Osamu. Calm down.” Fyodor’s face kept straight, Dazai’s eyes were squinted, teeth bared like an angry wolf, face flushed slightly, brows furrowed.
“Is this who’s visiting from Ukraine soon?”
“I-” Fyodor stuttered.
“Answer the damn question. Yes or no.” Dazai snarled.
Silence lingered between them, the air so thick with tension that it felt suffocating for the both of them.
“Yes.” Fyodor finally answered.
Dazai wanted to rip the phone out of Fyodor's hand, break it into a million pieces, grab Fyodor's face and- What the hell was he thinking?
That stupid, foolish and- intolerable. His father would never accept his son of these damned thoughts.
“I should go. I’ll see you in class fyodor.” His name felt like acid on his tongue.
“See you Tomorrow.”
Dazai grabbed his bag and left, closing the door softly.
He’s been so hot headed the past few years. Today more than others. He needed to take his anger out somehow.
He took out his phone and texted one of the guys he had hated for years.
You - slug
You: Come to the park on 15th street.
Slug: What? Its 2 AM!
You: Just fucking come to the park, Shorty.
Slug: Oh fuck you! Fine, bastard!”
Dazai pocketed his phone and sat on a swing.
The night air was colder, blowing through Dazai’s hair, dusting a faint pink tint to his cheeks.
And when he heard the soft crunch of tennis shoes on mulch, he stood, fists clenched.
“Why the hell did iu bring me here at 2 in the fucking morning?!” Cuuyaa shouted at dazai.
Dazai didn’t greet Chuuya, didn't cruelly tell him what he was about to do. He just swung.
He heard a sickening crack as his fist met with Chuuya’s jaw.
Dazai saw red.
He took out every week, day, hour, minute, second every milasecond.
Chuuya’s bullying and that stupid nikollai.
He beat Cuuya, to a desperate bleeding bastard.
Dazai’s knuckles cracked as he came back to reality at the sound of police sirens.
“Y- YOU FUCKING SOCIOPATH!” Chuuya cried out, holding his bleeding face.
Dazai grabbed his shirt.
“The police question you, you say absolutely nothing.
Dazai sprinted off into the night, making sure he wouldn't be caught by the police.
His lungs burned from the chilly night.
He slumped against a wall in an alleyway in the shopping district, checking his phone as he caught his breathe,
His phone chimed multiple times.
He took his phone from his pocket.
Fyodor - You
Fyodor: Osamu. Why are the cops at my door?
Fyodor: Osamu what did you do?!
You: Lay off! I just beat chibi up, nothing much :3
Fyodor: My lord Dazai.
You: gtg
Fyodor: ?
Fyodor: ??
Fyodor: Dazai!
Dazai put his phone back in his pocket and took out a box of cigarettes, putting one to his lips and lit it.
He sighed out a puff of smoke as he felt his lungs warm.
“Dazai?” A familiar voice asked.
It ws gin, she didnt ave her mask on but more casual clothes.
“Oh, hello gin.”
Dazai sighed out another puff of smoke.
“Hey aren't you 15? You shouldn't be smoking.”Gin stated mostly concerned.
“Who gives a fuck about it-”
“The law. And me, dip shit.” Gin cut him off, plucking the cigarette from his lips.
Dazai let out a whine like a toddler.
“Heyy, why are you out anyway?” Dazai asked.
“Got bored” Gin replied before checking their phone.
They groaned as they pocketed their phone.
“Ive been caught, ryuu is pissed so i gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow dazai!” They waved as they walked off.