Chapter Text
Grief
Grief is a weird thing...you're not dead but I can't help but grieve over who you once were to me. I can't help but feel as if I've lost you or if you were even there at all.
I confessed to you. I regret it so much...I feel as if I've ruined our connection forever,even if it was thin before. It wasn't always like that. You were my sun,Sarlote,and in many ways you still are even if im too much of a coward to admit. You weren't there for me when I wanted to die so I dont get why I feel as if you saved me when you've done the opposite.
You took pieces of my heart and soul as the years went on until finally you left me,with hatred and disgust in your eyes as I said those three horrible words I might never say to anyone again 'I like you'.
I love you,Sarlote but you do not feel the same. I still feel pain in my heart as you said I should never say something like that and that it isn't natural so I should be ashamed of myself. I dont understand...how can I be ashamed of my adoration for you? How can I be ashamed of loving someone as beautiful as you?
You've flown off with my heart when you boarded that plane and I dont think you'll ever give it back to me. You're gone and now I only have my feelings remaining.
If I had the power to reverse time I wouldn't choose to reverse the years I spent silently loving you from afar. I wouldn't change any of it because then I wouldn't have had those years spent with you.
I'll always grieve who you once were and whst we could have been together,my sun.