Chapter Text
It's been a few months since Midoriya has been attending Hound Dog's counseling.
So far, things have been going good. He's seemed happier. He's been attending school like normal. Shouta has to stop himself from smiling whenever he sees Midoriya make an effort to include himself in class activities again.
Even when those activities include a table being flipped eventually— usually Bakugou is the one to do it if he goes bankrupt in Monopoly from buying too many properties too fast, or when he makes the tower fall three moves into the game in Jenga.
He really shouldn't be having his eyes on the kid so much, or atleast that was a point that Shouta's husband Hizashi had made, " 'Cuz it's kinda creepy, Sho!"
But then again, Shouta hadn't told anyone about his encounter with Midoriya, including his own husband. That was private. And Shouta was 90% sure that Midoriya didn't want him telling anyone, anyway. So nobody else would fully understand why Shouta was watching him so much. Maybe it is creepy, but sue him, that's his son student!
But as Shouta has been stalking his student, he's only seen improvement. It almost led Shouta to wonder— if this is how Midoriya acts when he's happy, then how the fuck hadn't Shouta noticed something was wrong before? The change in personality was drastic.
Shouta has even gone so far as to stop worrying about him.
That was his first mistake.
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Shouta was once again settled into his room. As he usually is in the early afternoons right after school ends. Sue him, he needs some social recharging time to himself before he goes out to deal with the dinner rush.
Then again, students weren't very rowdy today. Something about an argument at lunch.
Iida was apparently very nit-picky and bossy today— though, Shouta understands, his family has been through some crazy things as of late, so it's no wonder if he's feeling extra stressed.
Though, that's no reason to start yelling at his friends for them apparently, "Not sitting in their usual seats— it's anarchy! If Midoriya is sitting where Uraraka usually sits, and Uraraka is sitting where I usually sit, where do I sit, huh!?! Where Kaminari usually sits? Where Kirishima usually sits? How do I decide that!?! How do I decide who doesn't get their proper seat!?!"
Or atleast, those were Iida's words.
Shouta would have to talk to his parents about getting him a diagnosis of some sort soon.
But a bit back more on topic; Shouta was working on his lesson plans currently. He does them a few weeks in advance so that if something happened, and he couldn't make lesson plans anymore, he'd still have a few weeks for whatever the problem was to be solved before—
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!
Shouta startled.
He forgot that other people existed for a moment.
That sounds self-centered or whatever, but really Shouta just lives in his own little world whenever he's alone in his room. He's been that way since he was a teenager, probably.
He stood up, hearing his knees crack— fuck, he's really not that old, his joints shouldn't be so loud— and he walked over to his door, opening it.
There Midoriya stood, with that same guilty and pained face that he had the night Shouta discovered his habit.
He, once again, had a long sleeved shirt on. Shouta could imagine why, in gruesome detail. Damn it.
He wasn't looking at Shouta, rather looking at the floor.
"I-" he tried to start speaking, but in the place of where words should have been, a sob made it's way through his mouth instead.
Shouta felt his chest squeeze. Not not again. Fuck.
"Midoriya, come inside," he said quietly, moving out of the doorway so his student could walk though.
Shouta rarely had students in his room. Aside from the fact that it was entirely inappropriate as an adult teacher to have one of his students alone in a closed room, he also was very secretive of his belongings. Which nobody knew why since he only had like, two items in his room.
But this was an entirely different situation. Way different.
"Is there something you want to talk to me about?"
"I- I don't know why I.. came here, 'm sorry for b- bothering you," Midoriya mumbled, fidgeting with his hands.
"Don't apologize," Shouta said, furrowing his eyebrows in concern. He closed the door behind Midoriya once he walked in.
"Are you alright?"
"No."
"Alright, can you tell me what's wrong?" Shouta put his hand on Izuku's shoulder.
"Is it the same thing as last time? Or is it something different?"
"I.. I relapsed," Izuku said quietly,
Shouta paused for a moment.
"That's okay. It's okay. That.. happens, sometimes."
Shouta was internally just trying to not freak out. Don't freak out. He did a bit last time— and it probably made the whole thing a lot worse for Midoriya.
Relapsing happens. Shouta couldn't count all the times on one hand that he relapsed back in highschool when he was dealing with the same problem.
Fuck. Midoriya really is just a little version of him, huh.
But Midoriya was freaking out. So Shouta, as a responsible adult, had to stay calm.
Midoriya sniffled, wiping his face with his sleeve. He winced.
"It's the first time I've done it again s-since when we first talked."
"That tracks," he sighed.
"Look, kid. Don't feel bad. You made it a lot longer than most people. Hurting yourself isn't an easy thing to break out of, alright?"
He guided Midoriya to the small couch in the corner of his room, and gestured for him to sit down.
"There's no shame in relapsing."
"I- I really thought that I.. beat it." He sat down.
"You can't beat something like this. Fuck, it.. it could be years before the little voice in your head goes away. You just have to find out what replacements work for you, alright?" Shouta grabbed his desk chair and pulled it over to infront of the couch so they could sit face-to-face.
"Finding some sort of distraction could work for you."
"Well— I.. I've tried. I- I just spent a half an hour chewing ice before I.." he grimaced.
"Gave in."
"Are you bandaged?"
"Y-yes. I have patches and sports-wrap."
"Ointment, too?"
"Yeah."
Shouta sighed in relief.
"Good job, kid."
Midoriya gave him a small smile.
"I.." he paused. The room was quiet for what felt like ten minutes— but more accurately, was probably only about ten seconds.
"Can you tell me anything about what triggered your relapse?" Shouta asked cautiously.
Ever since the first encounter with Midoriya, Shouta had been looking at articles and reading online forums about how to comfort someone when they confine in you about their self-harm. And Shouta seems to think he's got a pretty good database on him now of questions to ask and reassuring statements to say when the conversation gets quiet.
Along with thinking back to when he was a teenager, and trying to remember what he would have liked to hear back then.
"Uhm.. w-well, I was.. sad today." Midoriya chewed on his lip. He was fidgeting a lot. He must be anxious. Though, Shouta can't blame him for that. This was a sensitive subject.
"I see." Shouta nodded, his gaze moving to the side.
He had to try and piece this together himself, then.
So, Midoriya was sad today. He hadn't gone home to see his mother in over a week, so it couldn't have really been anything happening at home. Maybe it's the fact that he hadn't visited his mother in a while that was making him sad, though?
Nothing much happened at school today. Except for the argument that had been mentioned earlier.
Shouta paused.
"Are you sad because Iida yelled at you?"
"Uhm.. maybe a bit. He— I mean, I really shouldn't be this sad, it was just him being himself, and he didn't even mean it-!"
"Midoriya, you're allowed to be sad about it, even if he didn't mean it," Shouta interrupted.
Midoriya bit his lip. Again. This seemed to be a nervous tic for him.
"I.. yeah, I guess. I'm sad because he.. yelled at me."
"Was there anything in particular that made you upset? I can talk to Iida and tell him to be more careful, if you want."
Midoriya's eyes widened.
"I.. uhm.. I don't think that much is really necessary, really, but there was uhm.. one thing he said that k-kinda stuck out," he said quietly.
Shouta just stared at him, trying to convey that he was allowed to continue speaking.
"He— he said.. that, I was the one causing problems all the time, and if I.. just did what I was supposed to, nobody would be arguing like they do.."
"Fuck, well, that's probably the stupidest thing I've heard."
"..Huh?"
"They probably wouldn't be arguing all the time, if Iida wasn't stirring up fights because someone sat in the," Shouta put up quotation marks, "wrong chair."
Midoriya let out a sad chuckle.
"I.. that's true."
"I've known the kid since he was little, through his older brother, and he's always been like that. It's just been extra lately, because of, well.."
"What his family has been going through?"
"Exactly. But still," Shouta paused.
"He was being an asshole."
Izuku frowned.
"He's my friend. Don't call him that. He was just upset."
Shouta let out a huff of amusement.
"Never change, kid."
Midoriya stayed quiet.
"I wanna change, though."
Shouta raised an eyebrow. The hell did Midoriya mean by that?
"What do you mean?"
"W-well, I guess.. I wanna be less annoying. I want.. to be better at listening to people, and I want to.. not cut myself anymore," he listed off.
Shouta blinked in surprise.
"Those are.. all very admirable goals, Midoriya. However, the first one— you're not annoying. At all."
"People are always telling me to stop talking."
"Well, you.. can get a bit carried away with your words, when you're talking about something you're passionate about, but that's not annoying, problem child," Shouta responded, tilting his head to the side.
He was trying to understand why the hell Midoriya thought he was annoying in the first place. Sure, he does things which could be inconvenient at best, and infuriating at worst, but that's pretty much 90% of Shouta's students anyway. And those traits don't inherently make one annoying. That's just.. teenagers.
Shouta would know. He's dealt with many of them. Too many.
"I- I guess I think too lowly of myself, sometimes. Maybe that's vain to say. My mom says I should think better about myself.. but I dunno," he mumbled, fidgeting with his hands again.
"You should think highly of yourself. Not too highly, don't end up like Monoma, obviously," Shouta joked. It wasn't very often that he joked, but he was comfortable around Midoriya. More so than his other students.
Maybe it was their shared experiences. Maybe they had bonded over Midoriya getting into so much shit and Shouta having to save him from said shit— for example, the USJ attack.
"But you've done amazing things, problem child," Shouta continued. "You should think higher of yourself."
Midoriya froze for a moment before laughing.
Shouta furrowed his eyebrows. Laughing. He was laughing. The hell is he laughing for?
Midoriya must have seen his confusion, because a moment later, he spoke.
"You— I.. you cheered me up. I thought your joke about Monoma was funny."
Shouta let out a huff of amusement.
"Alright, I'm glad."
"Thank you for talking to me again. I- I don't mean to be coming to you to solve my problems.." he gave Shouta a sad smile.
"Midoriya," Shouta looked at him seriously, furrowing his eyebrows and leaning forwards in his desk chair.
"If you're ever feeling the urge to hurt yourself, I want you to come to my room, and hang out with me for a bit, okay? I won't let you hurt yourself again, I promise."
Midoriya bit his lip and nodded.
"Okay."
"Good. Any time of the day, any time of the night, just come hang out in my room until you feel safe enough to be alone. Alright?"
"Y- yeah, okay," he agreed again.
"Do you feel safe right now?"
Midoriya nodded.
"I think.. I could be alone in my room right now and not wanna hurt myself."
"Alright. Good. Has Hound dog's counseling been helping?"
"Yeah, it's working. I just.. uh.. had a moment.." he chuckled awkwardly, looking off to the side.
Shouta nodded.
Midoriya cleared his throat.
"I.. it's almost time for dinner. It's my turn to help with the cooking, so.." he stood up from his spot on the couch.
"Of course. You can be on your way. I have to finish the lesson plans, anyway." Shouta nodded.
Izuku walked over to the door and put his hand on the door knob, before turning to look at Shouta.
He smiled.
"Thank you again."
That was all he said before he opened the door and walked our into the hall, leaving Shouta alone in the room.
The teacher smiled to himself.
Yeah. That's his kid.