Chapter Text
SENEGAL: This is Planet Earth. Look at this guy. He’s one of those pesky humans. And the humans, well the humans are supposedly our saviors.
(HIP-HOP MUSIC CONTINUES)
(GUNS FIRING)
SENEGAL: They have a one-for-oneself attitude and they run this planet.
HUMAN 1: You are so hot.
HUMAN 2: Oh, I know.
SENEGAL: See? That’s not even his land. Or his freedom.
(GUNS CONTINUE FIRING)
SENEGAL: For the humans, they get to do anything they want. They go on all sorts of missions. They got weird beliefs, weird leaders. I mean, rights aren’t really rights to them. They’re more like things we should do but won't. Like, I don’t think he’s gonna release those civilians. Or those human lab rats. … See what I mean? Savior.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(ALARM BEEPING)
SENEGAL: My name is SENEGAL, and I live in paradise.
(EXHALES)
SENEGAL: Good morning, Africa. I’ve lived here on Earth my whole life. I’ve got a close planet, I’ve got one moon, and I have an undisturbed climate. What more could a country want?
NEWS ANCHOR: (ON TV) Sunday should be warm and sunny with just a scattering of war crimes. Great day for the oceans, but not the Pacific, which will be filled and polluted with plastic trash from those goddamn pesky humans…
SENEGAL: And every morning, I start my day with the best sunrises in the whole, wide, whole universe.
ETHIOPIA: One sun, seven planets, and one moon.
SENEGAL: You know it. Mmm. Mmm! That is unexpectedly bright. Jeez, that’s good. It’s like losing my virginity, but with my eyes. Thank you for making this with such love.
ETHIOPIA: You’re welcome.
SENEGAL: (LOUDLY) Mars!
MARS: Have a good one, senegal.
SENEGAL: Don’t have a good day, have a great day!
SENEGAL: (LAUGHS) Hold the fudge. You mean to tell me that nobody took all the pollutants? Today is the day.
MARS: Like every other day.
SENEGAL: I’ll be back for those.
SENEGAL: Oh! So close.
CHAD: Mmm! This is the greatest cup of coffee of all time. I wanna write a song about it.
SENEGAL: I wanna dance to that song with my borders.
CHAD: (LAUGHS) I love my country. There’s something about finding your borders and just staying in it.
SENEGAL: That’s why they call ’em borders, they’re so damn protective.
(MAN GRUNTS)
SENEGAL: Oh, kenya! Mondays, am I right, kenya?
KENYA: You said it, SENEGAL.
SENEGAL: Yeah.
SENEGAL: On Eartyh, I have everything I need.
KENYA: Don’t have a good day… have a great day.
SENEGAL: Thank you.
(CHUCKLES)
KENYA: Take care.
SENEGAL: Except one thing.
SENEGAL: Seem happy.
KENYA: Oh, come on, don’t worry about that, SENEGAL. You gonna find somecountry.
SENEGAL: Oh, it’s okay, ken. Feel like I’ve been looking for it forever, you know? Maybe it’s not meant to be.
HUMAN 3: Every civilian down on the ground!
(GUN FIRES)
(WOMAN GASPING)
(ROBBER WHOOPS)
(SENEGAL GRUNTS)