Chapter Text
Chuuya woke up alone the next day. It was only 7 in the morning. There was no way Dazai left this early for work. That lazy bastards was never on time. So either Dazai is being an asshole like usual by not being in bed or his insomnia is acting up again.
Something was wrong with Dazai yesterday, Chuuya knew that. The way he refused to remove his bandages was not so subtle as Dazai thinks. Normally, Chuuya would have made a fuss but he was way too horny to think about that shit anyways. Trust his consciousness to go out the window the second they start kissing.
Ane-san would probably be mad at him but it isn't his fault he ends up in Dazai's bed everytime. Its a thing neither of them realize until its already happens. Even though Chuuya would rather die than admit this to Dazai, but sex with him is fucking great. No matter how many people Chuuya shags, he'll always return to him. Fuck Dazai honestly.
Chuuya gets up to find the suicidal maniac now. He is quite shocked at the sight of Dazai cooking something for once in the kitchen.
"What are you doing, mackeral?" Chuuya says as he lays his head on the kitchen countertop squishing his cheeks.
Dazai turns around with the spatula in his hands. "Good morning to you too, chibi. I am making pancakes." The only thing Dazai is good at. His pancakes are fucking scrumptious, not that Chuuya would give him the satisfaction of knowing that.
"You take an hour to make a single pancake. I'll be dead by the time you finish those."
"That an exaggeration and you know that." Dazai shakes his head and keeps a plate of pancakes infront of Chuuya before pouring maple syrup on it.
Chuuya almost swoons at the delicious smell of the pancakes. Also what is with Dazai looking as tempting as the pancakes in just bandages and a fucking apron for fuck's sake. Chuuya decided to scoff and dig in the pancakes.
"Are you allergic to clothes?" Chuuya says as he licks his lips after taking the first bite.
Dazai just smirks and leans even forwards, "Am I distracting you again, hatrack?" That gets Dazai a well deserved smack on the head.
"Why aren't you eating?" Dazai looks paler than usual and Chuuya had to glare the food down his throat yesterday too. Chuuya doesn't understand Dazai's stupidness for not eating just because something goes wrong and this time, he doesn't even know what is wrong.
"Eh. Just not hungry. Plus my dog is hungry, I might as well give him all my delicious cooking." Its all bullshit and Chuuya knows that. He wants to punch Dazai. Why is Dazai always so fucking infuriating?
"Stop that bullshit and eat or I'll force it down your throat and you know I am not kidding." Dazai gulps and Chuuya is very satisfied when he brings out his own plate. Its still very less than what he should eat but atleast he isn't going empty stomach.
-----
Chuuya loves Kouyou but it gets frustrating when she's always on his ass for sleeping with Dazai. Its like she gets magically informed when he's with Dazai and a lecture goes on. God, Chuuya is tired today. First, Dazai acting strange and not telling him anything and now he has to listen to Kouyou's lecture. The worst of it is that he knows Kouyou isn't even wrong. He should ending up in the same bed as his ex partner-rival-traitor and the worst person in the entire of Yokohama.
"Chuuya?" Kouyou says entering her office.
Chuuya sighs and gives her a smile, "Yeah Ane-san, Why did you call me?"
Kouyou made some tea and sat beside him, "I called for the mission report of last week but now I feel like we have to discuss something else."
Ofcourse she knows. "I'll do the reports today. What is it we need to talk about?"
"You know, Chuuya dear. Dazai Osamu. The infamous mafia traitor."
"What about that asshole?"
"Chuuya"
"Ugh fine. Oh my god woman. How do you even get to know every single time?"
Kouyou shakes her head, "Instincts. But its mostly your face after you see him."
"What do you mean my face? It just gets even angrier at his annoying sight." Chuuya was quite offended.
"Its not just that. You're this, weirdly happy, and have this expression - I can't put my head on it. But its different." Kouyou sighs before explaining herself to Chuuya.
A tint of red hints at Chuuya's cheeks. Its embarrassment, he tells himself. "Oh I do not. He annoys the fuck out of me then goes all weird and closed off again which pisses me off even more."
Kouyou looks at him in knowing. "You need to stop that, Chuuya."
"He needs to stop acting like a complete dumbass. He thinks his delicious pancakes can fix everything and he won't ever have to answer me."
"Chuuya, I meant the other thing. Sleeping with him. He is a total douchebag and flirts with every person on Earth. You deserve so much better than Dazai. Why do you keep ending back with him?" Kouyou wraps Chuuya in a side hug.
Chuuya feels weirdly defensive at that but he himself doesn't have any explanation for his actions. Its just something that happens and he has no control over it. He is lying to himself because he knows he has control over it. He could, for once, stop going to Dazai's apartment or calling Dazai over. Dazai would probably annoy him a few hundred times before going silent. The ADA and PM don't have combined meetings or missions that often so they could very well ignore each other's existence. But they won't. Even if how fucked up their relationship is, its still there and Chuuya isn't ready to let go of that. Plus, there is corruption, it would makes things even awkward when Chuuya has lost control over and has turned into a monster.
"I'll be mindful from next time." Chuuya says to her, taking his leave but he doesn't even believe himself.
-----
Its been 4 days since Chuuya last saw Dazai, with the apron that made him want to pull Dazai closer and make out with him. Its weird to Chuuya because Dazai hates staying away. No matter what the time is, Dazai is going to text him or straight up break into his house in the middle of the night. Its not even for sex at times, he just loves to pester Chuuya and deprive him of his sleep.
Should he just show up at Dazai's? Not like that bastard hasn't done the same before. It wouldn't hurt to give him a little payback. Its certainly not because Chuuya is concerned.
Dazai is honestly the smartest and the dumbest man he has met. It wouldn't even be a surprise if Dazai was just lazing around for no reason and it would make Chuuya look stupid for worrying getting pissed off.
Chuuya decides to go visit the dumb mackeral, just to check up on him, making sure he isn't hanging with a rope on the fan. He also takes some crab to feed Dazai because he doesn't really eat food unless someone forcefully shoves it down his throat and Chuuya is more than happy to do that.
Chuuya doesn't knock on reaching Dazai's place. Its supposed to be payback break in, damnit. He picks the lock after struggling for a bit. How the fuck does Dazai do this shit so easily? He finds the apartment uncharacteristically quiet for once. Its really fucking creepy to not be bombarded with Annoying noises in Dazai's home. Chuuya barges into Dazai's bedroom, with full intention to yell at him and say "Hah! Right back at you, Loser!" but he doesn't really get that chance because Dazai is lying on the fucking floor for some reason.
"C-chuuya? What the hell are you doing here?" Dazai's voice is hoarse and his eyes were widened in pure shock.
Chuuya quickly went on his side, "What the fuck are you doing on goddamn floor?" He was baffled at the whole absurdity of the situation.
Dazai took a moment to recover from the shock before sitting up as Chuuya graciously decidedly to help him. "You break into my apartment and that's the first thing you ask me?"
"You do it all the fucking time. I wanted to see what the hype was about. Anyways you didn't answer my question."
Dazai had turned red for some reason as Chuuya sat next to him, with his hand still on his back. "I fell down from the bed and was too lazy to get back up."
Chuuya burst out laughing, "Are you kidding me? You're so dumb, Dazai."
"Oh come on. Why are you here?" Dazai officially had gone tomato-faced.
"Fuck You. I don't want to tell you."
"Were you worried about me, Chu-uya?" Dazai's smirk came back full force as he leaned on Chuuya's shoulder looking up at him.
"Oh Piss Off. You're burning up." Chuuya quickly cupped Dazai's hot face (pun intended) and leaned his forehead on Dazai's to check his temperature.
Dazai was looking even redder than before. "Holy shit, mackeral! How long were you sick, you dumbfuck?" Chuuya exclaimed as he helped Dazai back on the bed.
"Its nothing."
"It fucking is. So shut the fuck up."
Chuuya was so mad at the bandage wasting-suicidal maniac who was still smiling at him for some reason, when he tried finding the thermometer. "Where is your thermometer? Screw that, have you taken any medicine for the fever?" Chuuya yelled from Dazai's bathroom.
"No. I hate that." Dazai slurred lazily as if he wasn't suffering in delirium.
"Are you kidding me, Dazai? I really want to smack the shit out of your face right now." Chuuya was getting beyond frustrated at the utter stupidity of his ex-partner(?). "Do you have any fever meds right now? Do not even try to escape your way out of this."
"There are some in the drawer...in the living room." Dazai replied reluctantly.
Chuuya took a sigh of relief before rushing outside Dazai's bedroom. He quickly tried to take the meds back to feed the stinky mackeral.
Wait what? Are those antidepressants?